AUTHOR'S NOTE:

I think I will get 3k comments in this chapter.

I don't know why I am like this. I want to update this book.

Maybe it's because everything is falling into place in this book. You are now getting into the main plots. Earlier I was establishing each character.

I introduced my villain in the last chapter. Any thoughts on him?

Does anyone has a crush on Our Great Ravichandran? ;)

Come on! I was kidding.

I was planning to update her dreams but AkankshaSharma3 is sad that he is nearly with Jenny, but still has to wait.

AkankshaSharma3 , please get him some chocolates.

I was driving to my uncle's house as my cousin cake home for Vacation. My sister was behind me in my bike and she was shouting "Slow down Idiot! You are driving fast"

I said, "It is just 40 Km per hour."

She said, "Drive in 20 km per hour"

What should I do?:)

The question for this chapter is, Say some words about your first crush or your favourite crush.

I will say about my only crush too.

******

12) Money comes with pain and sorrow.

ADDAR'S POV

I was now sitting on the floor. I just wanted to cry the minute she said those words.

Do you understand the difference between yourself and my Ravi now? That is why he is my boyfriend.

These are the worst words a person can hear from his loved one. I was broken. I was crushed. She is crazily in love with that idiot. I have heard that love makes you crazy, but I never understood the seriousness of that word until today.

I won't call him an animal. If I call him animal, the animal rights organizations would come saying that I insulted animals by comparing him to them.

Why does god create living beings like him?

I don't know why God sent me into this mess. Didn't he already bring enough pain in my life? Why can't he give anything good to me?

My mom, Jenny and my Dad are all suffering because of that God. What did my family do to him?

I just wanted to scream. I know that I shouldn't cry over her. She doesn't deserve it, but it is not easy. I have read lot of break up stories, but nothing compares to this. It is killing me from inside.

The pain that I'm feeling now feels like I lost my mom again. When my mom passed away, I always felt that someone would come to take care of me again.

I had thought that Catherine was that person, unfortunately, I was mistaken. I know that I shouldn't compare her with my mom.

But I can't stop the comparisons. I loved them both. They both were taken away from me in the cruelest way.

God clearly wanted to punish me. If he hates me to the extent that he gives things like this to me then why was I born?

Am I clown to God? Does he like to watch me from the sky while I cry?

Sri came inside the room with confusion all over his face. He watched me like some project to be tested. He said, "Are you the only son of Jenny group of companies?"

I nodded my head. I don't want this. I'm used to people treating me without any respect. After people find out who my dad is, they all look at me as if I am some Superman and then they start treating me with respect. Why do I only receive peoples' respect when they find out about my family's money?

Did it stop my family from falling apart?

Did it save my mom and jenny?

Money is the most cursed thing in the world. Money comes with pain and sorrow.

Sri said, "Dude! Do you know how many girls you could have had in college?"

This is what I hate about money. Everyone thinks money will be able to grant his or her wishes. They don't want to use it in the rightful way. Money can feed a hungry stomach. Money can feed a poor girl who gets to watch the rich girl eat ice cream.

It can help a poor parent who wants to give their children a quality education.

Many people commit suicide because they have money problems. People always want it to themselves. They always ask how I can use this money for me.

Money was easy for me to get. I had money enough to make me happy for many centuries. If people knew this, they would be jealous of me. They would think he has all the money in the world.

But they don't know my pain. I would exchange all the money I have if it would mean that I could have my mom and Jenny back. I would give anything to receive a hug from my mom again. Can anyone give them back to me?

I feel jealous of even the poorest boy in India. He has a mother who will hug him when he is crying.

What do I have? Can I hug money and feel the same way as I when I hug my mom? Can a big LCD TV give me the happiness that I get when I see my mom smile?

Can the most expensive bed in the world replace the feeling of comfort that I can only get from my mom's cuddle?

It can't! I didn't ask God for money. I asked for a family. Is it that hard? Everyone has family. Why can't I have a family?

Sri said, "What happened Addar?"

"Do you think I deserve happiness?"

I know what he is thinking. You should be one of the happiest humans in India, but I am the most unlucky human in India.

I know that there are orphans here, but I am much worse. I was not an orphan. I had the most awesome family which anyone can get. No one can even dream of a great family like the one that I had.

That was until I had everything taken from me that day. It was three days before my mom died.

****

I was sitting on the couch watching Tom and Jerry. I was waiting for Jenny. She used to watch it with me. I used to be Jerry as I am the short one. Jenny is tom. We would always laugh about it.

Now I realize that she was Tom only because he always loses to Jerry. She always wanted me to win. I asked Dad, "Where is mom and Jenny, Daddy? The show is going to end soon. Jenny should see how Tom was beaten today."

When I finished that sentence. My dad started to cry, I didn't know at that time that my life was crumbling into pieces that day. It was changing, but I knew even at that time that it was a bad change.

That was the first time I saw my dad cry. He cries daily now. That is one of the reason, why I decided to study in a different town. I can't stand to see my Dad cry every day.

To people from outside we should be the happiest family, but we know that we are the most cursed family.

****

"What happened Addar?," Sri asked. 

I came out of my thoughts. I saw my friend looking at me with concern. His concern was new and genuine. I knew that I could count on him. He was not the greatest friend I could get, but he was still a good friend.

"Nothing Sri."

"You need to get over Catherine. She's an idiot and you deserve better. "

"Money doesn't mean I ge-"

"Money is just a secondary reason. Primary reason is you can seriously impress a girl with your charm."

"So I should go dance with some random girl and impress them."

"I won't ask you after that principal's number incident. I know you can impress them. I also found where Mr. Principal got his speech on you about anger and all. Do you remember his speech?"

"What? He said it from bottom of his heart."

"No! He got it and along with all his other speeches from quotes_for_me.com. He is not the great Greek thinker like Alexander."

"Alexander was not a thinker. The great Greek thinker was So-"

"Never mind! You got the point. That's enough. He asks about the problem to his assistant and finds the quotes he is going to use from this website. He doesn't even use different websites."

"What does he do if the same boy comes again for the same issue?"

"That shameless guy uses the same quote again."

"Are you serious?"

He showed me his phone. A website was opened and I saw all the things he said to me there. I couldn't believe it.

"So what do you want me to do now? As you don't want me to go on impressing people." I said after giving the phone back to him.

"As I said already, you need to lose virginity."

"So let me go and impress a girl. Only then can I lose that." Please give me some time. I can't do anything now. Don't force me.

"There are some girls who don't want those steps of impressing. They want to go straight to action."

He said it with no emotion at all. He continued, "I am going to introduce you to one girl who is like that."

He opened the door to reveal a girl who was angry. May be she heard the harsh words on her and she is angry for the words Sri used.

She pushed Sri aside and came inside the room. Sri closed the door behind her. She was looking at me from top to bottom. I thought she will look at Sri angrily but why is she analyzing me?

"Is he the guy you mentioned Sri?"

Sri nodded. She said after sometime, "He is handsome, but that doesn't mean I will wait."

"But I was introducing you to Adda-"

"Who wants the introduction and all? I am a girl. We can enjoy, isn't that enough for this idiot? Why does he need my résumé?"

I opened my mouth for the first time. I said, "You don't have to come in a hurry. You can wear your clothes. I think you are in your... I don't know how to call this cloth?"

I don't want to think about it too.

Sri went outside leaving me with this psycho. Why do I have to meet all the psychos in this world? She was coming near me with a smirk on her face. She said, "Sri said what type of guy you are, but I don't have time for all this running and catching. Just f**k me okay?"

She caught my hand and started to trail kisses on my neck. My body went numb. My mind was having a battle with my body.

My body was asking for more. I am not a monk who doesn't have any feelings. My mind was going to the memories I have of my mom and Jenny.

To the promise I made to my mom. The things I have been taught all my life.

But even Catherine doesn't like me now.

Is she important to you now? She proved that you are nothing to her. Why are you doing things based on her words?

She proved her worth. I am not going to destroy myself. I will stick to what my mom taught me.

Maybe love doesn't exist in this world. That doesn't mean I don't deserve to live my life my way.

It's my life, and I will live life as I want it to be.

No stupid girl can influence it. My life is what I want. I will live my life as I promised my mom.

Suddenly I remembered the girl. She is kissing me everywhere she wants. I pushed her away. I noticed that she was not dressed and turned my gaze to the roof and ran outside. I bumped into someone and noticed it was Sri.

I ran away in spite of his shouts to stop. I ran out of the club. I realized that my shirt was unbuttoned. I buttoned it again and waited. I didn't know for whom I was waiting.

Maybe my stupid mind is waiting for my mom. Is it bad to expect a hug from a mother while we are confused?

Yes, it is bad when she is dead.

Sri came near me. I thought he will be angry, but he was laughing. He said, "You left in the middle. It is really funny. Did you see her? No one has ever humiliated her. She is always proud about her body and you just insulted her body. She won't make a move on a boy for hours at least. You can't stop that sl*t. Your way of ins-"

"I didn't want to insult her body."

"But I know it only. Even she doesn't know it. Do you want to hear something?"

"Don't advise me n-"

"I am still a virgin. I have kissed girls but nothing more."

What is he saying? I thought he is a bad guy who sleeps around everyone.

He continues, "I loved a girl deeply in high school. I decided my life was with her. I thought we were like the sky and clouds, always together. My life revolved around her. Everything I did started from her thoughts. I had my life planned out with her. I was crazy in love."

He paused for a minute and looked at the stars. He continued, "Every time I look at these stars I remember all the times I spent star gazing with her. She was a pretty girl. She was the prettiest girl I ever saw. She still is." He said the last sentence with a proud face.

I never thought I will see Sri like this. I always knew there was something in him. He always seemed like he was hiding something. I am now seeing him smiling without any reason at all. He kind of shows my real feelings.

He said, "I was crazy in love. I really mean that word. I was crazy. That is something about love. It makes you think everything is fine, even when your home is blasted by an Atomic Bomb. Even when everyone around you is dying, it will say your girlfriend is alive. What do you want more than her?"

It was exactly my feeling. When everyone were bullying me, my mind was saying that Catherine didn't bully me.

He continued, "It creates an illusion. It will come crumbling down one day like the day my girlfriend broke up with me."

"Why did she break up with you?"

"I was not present for her cat's funeral. She said I didn't come to her when her cat died. She said another boy was with her during that tough time so she started a relationship with him."

He didn't show any emotion at all. I don't know how he says it without any emotion at all. May be he has moved on. I asked him, "Why didn't you go to her when the cat died?"

"I was in the hospital as I fractured my leg at that time."

I can't believe it. Is that girl crazy?

He continued, "He gave her a puppy as soon as her cat died."

"Is she with the guy who gave her puppy now?"

"No! She is now with the guy who gave her the Bunny when her puppy died."

I would have given her a turtle. It lives longer than all animals which means I stay longer with her.

He continued, "Love is nothing in this world. These girls love an animal more than their boyfriend. I am not saying boys are perfect. They are bigger assh*les, but that doesn't mean boys like us should also be punished."

"You didn't say why you faked your bad boy image."

"Only bad boys get attention. You showed your own character, and what did that get you? It resulted in him getting insults, bullying, and abused. I faked my bad boy image, and what did I get? A peaceful life. Isn't that important?"

"I can't go on faking things. I am sorry. You won't understand me."

I started to walk. I will not change into a guy who plays along with girls. I won't be a bad boy. I also won't be the old Addar who runs around helping people.

I will design my own life. I am not going to go on advising people. I have lost that innocence.

I am not going to give any easy respect to these girls. Let them earn it. No one should get respect easily. Everyone should earn it, and I am not going to fall in love again.

Maybe, this all happened for good. My mom knew I needed a reality check so she sent Catherine.

"Don't give me this fuc*ing smile?"

I heard a girl's voice. I turned my gaze to the source of the sound.

Don't ask me why I did it. I just wanted to see the source of the voice.

Weird, isn't it?

I saw a girl who was wearing a pink shirt and black jeans. She was looking at her phone. First thing I noticed in her eyes were tears.

She looked different than every girl I have seen. She looked tired and frustrated with the world.

She looked confused about this world. She looked like someone who was searching for an answer in this world.

She might have some answers for me too.

I don't know if the above reasons made me walk towards her or there was any other reason for it.

But the bottom line is I breached an important rule which was formulated ten minutes ago.

I felt sorry for her. I think she deserves my help or I deserve her help.

I walked towards her even though I didn't know what awaited for me there.

*****

AUTHOR'S NOTE

This is a filler chapter but this is chapter which changes the book.

The book is no longer dark. It won't be completely Chessy like Her Dreams but still a believable romance will be there.

Even though I think I can love a girl like Michael does. I have to say that as many say it is impossible.

Do you like?

A new chapter starts in Addar's life?

@Murugesathya just like you asked, no dark chapters from now. The book is going to be light hearted from now except for a few scenes.

About my crush, I had one in my 2nd grade. She left our school in 3rd grade. The chapter on my next book which was published in this book was about her. I stole that guy's school bag and in the story chocolate was stolen.

Don't worry for him. He proposed to another girl in 3rd grade itself. He sent an "I love you note" to her.

He chased her for 8 years. They got together in 11th grade and they broke up in 11th grade.

Their break up story is even funnier. Their descriptions are funnier too.

She is the only crush I had in my life, except celebrity crush.

TEASER: The new girl explains Addar on how to live his life.

Take care be safe and stay blessed.

-YAGAPPAR