Notes:

Additional Cast:

Nick Zano as Alex Summers

Halsey as Callie Domingo

Jordan Rodrigues as Jake Torres

Claire Holt as River Abrahams

Rhiannon Fish as Vivianne Woodson

Chloe Moretz as Jen Parrish

Adelaine Kane as Natalie Coleman

Tatiana Maslany as Kira Killian

Robin's POV

This must be the first time I wake up early willingly and happy about it. A smile is plastered on my face as I stretch my hands and back, getting up from my comfy bed. I make my way to the bathroom, take my clothes off and get in the shower, to be fully awake.

The warm water calms me and I start mattering Stressed out by Twenty one pilots, using the shower phone as a microphone. I am such a dork sometimes, I love it!

I get off twenty minutes later and get dressed real quick, but in my happy state I decide to be a good sport and clean my room before I get downstairs for breakfast. I make my bed, tide up my closet and then move to the desk, which is full of books and pens and other small things. I put the book to my shelve and then open the second draw to put the pens in. I remember for a moment that here somewhere I have a very good classy pen that belonged to my mother, and maybe I could give it to Soph as a good luck gift when I see her later tonight. As I go through the drawer I stumble upon a movie ticket. Movie ticket? I haven't been to the movies lately.

I pull it out to inspect it better but the title of the movie in bright bold letters makes it all clear.

*Flashback*

March, 2015

"What do you mean you don't want to go? I already got the tickets, babe." I pout over the phone.

"I said, I am not in the mood to see a movie, and I have a headache." Her voice is harsh and it makes my jaw clench.

"Do you wanna do something else then? I can come by." I try again less politely though.

"No, that's ok, I'll let you know, maybe I can make it, I guess. What time is the movie?" she asks uninterested.

"9:30. you still have 2 hours, so think about it. I'll be waiting." I end up saying, although I know she won't say yes. But I don't fret. I really wanna see the movie. I don't mind going alone.

An hour and a half later and still no sign of Natalie, I am reading a book in my bed, seething from anger. Typical Nat.

Then phone ringing, startles me. Callie is calling me.

"Hey, doll, what up?" I greet her enthusiastically.

"hey babe, good, you?" she is cheery as usual.

"Been better. What's up?" I turn the convo away from me.

"Bored as fuck, wanna come over? Jen and Viv are having a sleepover, Jake is studying and Riv is with her man." she says in one breath.

"Hmmmm......" I look at my watch and make a quick decision. "Wanna go to the movies with me? I have to tickets to Serena." I ask smiling.

"Bitch,Jennifer Lawrence!! Fuck yeah!" she shouts in my ear.

"Perfect, pick you up in 20." I hung up and get ready, now less angry. I am not letting her ruin my night. I bought the damn tickets and I am going. End of story.

Two hours later I am heading home from the movies. It was amazeballs, I love JLaw! I get in the house, which is quiet and dark, meaning Alex is at Kira's and soon I find Alex's note on the kitchen table.

I get upstairs and head to the bathroom to take a shower again so than I can calm down and get to bed, but when I reach my phone after my warm shower, I find a text from Nat.

From Nat: How was the movie? Was Callie a good company?

I stare at the message and my calm state vanishes. What's up with her lately? She has this fucking attitude, and it drives me crazy! I don't bother texting as I make the decision to call her. Of course she picks up immediately.

"What was that supposed to mean?" I ask as calmly as possible in my state.

"Nothing, what do you think it meant?" she is being a smartass and I hate it.

"Don't start with your games Nat! Is there a problem?" I am seething but keep it down for now.

"You called Callie? The tickets were for me and you? Are you fucking her now? Was your date good?" she bites back. Her voice is harsh and so is her accusation.

What? You fucking bitch! Breath Ro, breath....

"You didn't call me back, Nat, and I wanted to see the fucking movie, and you know it! And are we really gonna go back with the cheating bullshit again? How many times do I have to tell you that I am not...you know what? I am not doing this with you again." I hung up clenching my fist, wanting to scream as loud as I can, but I keep it in, which means tears are coming. Great.

I punch the pillows a few times to just let off some steam, and then lay in my bed and put my music on to calm down. But it doesn't last long as merely 15 minutes later my doorbells rings. I take a deep breath and come down the stairs, to the door, and there is she, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"I am sorry." She runs and hugs me but I am still. Typical Nat....so damn typical. "I love you, I really do, I am sorry, I don't know what's gotten into me." she starts kissing my neck, holding me tight, almost crashing me, and just like the other times I let.....I let her drag me to my room, I let her undress me, I let her kiss me, I let her show me she loves me, cause lately that's the only way she can show it to me. But I love her, so I let her.

*End of flashback*

I remember everything from that day. I don't wanna justify her actions that day, but I understand. She told me she was scared she would lose me once high school was over. That she felt neglected every time I spent my time with my friends instead of her, and that she feared of what the future would hold for us.

And at the end she told me she had gotten her letter from UCLA.

I don't bother finishing my cleaning urge, so I decide to go get breakfast. I walk to the kitchen, where Alex, is making pancakes, and involuntarily, another trip down memory lane hits me.

*Flashback*

April, 2015

"Kid you have mail!" I run as fast as I can to the living room and reach him in seconds.

"Is it here? Please tell me it's here!" he smiles widely and gives me the big yellow envelop I have been waiting like crazy for at least 2 weeks. I tear it open and unfold the paper; pleading however is up there, to make this happen for me.

Once I read 'You have been accepted into SCU' I tear up and jump in his arms.

"I got in! I got in! Uncle I got it!" I scream as he hugs me with all his might.

"I am so proud of you kiddo, I love you so much, they would be so proud of you." He whispers and I kiss his cheek sweetly.

"Thank you. I love you too. I gotta tell the others! Oh my god, I got in!" I run back to my room and grab my phone. Riv got her letter 3 days ago, Jake knows since March just like Nat, and me, Cal, Jen and Viv were the ones left. I text the group convo smiling, crying, I just can't believe it!

Ro: I got my letter people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jen: oh my god! What?

Cal: dude, say it!

Jake: come on!!!!!! Say it already!

River: dumbass don't keep us waiting

Viv: RooooooooooooooRoooooooooooooooooooooo come oooooon

Nat: well?

I smile even wilder at their reaction and finally type.

Ro: SCU bitchesssssssssssssssssssss

Jen: holy shit, really? That's awesome, I thought you had lost hope on that

River: yeahhh babyyy, congrats!

Jake: freaking yeah! I'm so proud of you

Cal: bitchhhhhh homemade food, bruh, you are so lucky.

*Nat left the conversation*

My stomach clenched violently at that indication. One fucking minute, why can't she give me one fucking minute of happiness? I grab my jacket and get downstairs, leaving a confused Alex behind. I get to her house in less than 20 minutes and knock on her door. She is home, I am sure. She opens the door and all anger goes away when I see her crying.

"What's the matter?" I step inside and cup her face, wiping her cheeks.

"You are staying here." She mumbles and hugs me tightly. Here we go again. I am so tired of reassuring her every time. Why can't she just trust me?

I grab her hand and we walk to her room and after I sit on her bed I make her sit on my lap. "We talked about this baby, me staying here doesn't mean we are gonna break up. I love you, we can have a long distant relationship." I try to reassure her...again.

"I know, but what about you letter from UCLA? There is still hope they will accept you right?" she asks hopeful.

"Baby, I already got accepted here." I shrug not knowing what to answer.

"But I will be in Cali. We can be together, Ro. If they accept you, then why not be with me in California?" her demeanor slowly changes.

"Nat, there's no chance they will accept me in UCLA, I applied because you applied too, but I won't get in, you got your letter a month ago. Besides, Alex is here.....I don't wanna leave him." I am being honest. I applied because she suggested it, but I would prefer staying here. I knew there was a slight chance I would get into UCLA, but SCU is where I had my eyes set on.

"So you will stay here even If you get in UCLA?" her face goes from sad to angry in a flash.

"Nat I ...." I start.

"Ro we have been talking about UCLA for a year!" her voice gets louder.

"No, YOU have been talking about it for a year, I only told you I would apply. You know that." I raise my voice too, as she gets off my lap.

"I thought that you would wanna be with me. I am your girlfriend Robin! I am your priority!" she shouts pointing at herself. I get up as well.

"Nat, come on, this is crazy! I never promised I would go with you! And I love you but I AM my priority. You know how things are with Alex, I can't leave him behind! He wasted his life to raise me! I could have ended up in the foster system if not for him, I can't leave him. I am all he has!" Alex had to drop everything and move here so that I can have a family. A guy in his 20's left everything in order to raise a child he had no business rising. If he had said no, I would somewhere else now.

"He has Kira!" She shouts again.

"It's not the same! It feels like I am leaving him alone...like I am being ungrateful." I have been thinking about it since last year, when we started talking about colleges.

"So you chose to leave me alone! Nice Robin, nice." She turns her back at me and my shoulders fall. I hate fighting, why can't she understand? I approach her from behind but she flinches, and pushes me away. "You never choose me. Ever. Everyone else go first but me. Your uncle, your friends, and I am always last. It hurts." My head falls at her words. How can she say that? After all this time, she still thinks I put everyone else before her? I spent my summer with her when everybody else complained about me blowing them off. I spent my birthday with her, while the others got mad at me for not including them in our dinner plans. The plans she made. I am the one that has cancelled plan after plan with my friends just so she can have me for herself. What else can I do?

I nod my head, and signing I leave her room, get to my car and drive home.

*end of flashback*

Alex saw something was wrong in an instant. He sat me down on the couch and asked what happened so I told him. His face was sad and mad I guess, but he told me this: "this is your life, kiddo; you are not leaving me behind. This is your life, so do what you want. So I tell you this, if you want to go to California, go to California. It will be the same for me, either you are here or not. Don't live your life for me, live it for you."

I nodded my head and went up to my bedroom, called Nat to talk again about what Alex told me. That made her happy and I got happy too, although numb.

I can't really blame Nat. Her dad abandoned her mother for a younger woman when she was 14. Maybe that helps explain her actions, her reactions.

"Hey kid breakfast ready, grab a chair, Kira will be here. It's her day off." Alex ends this flashback.

We sit and eat our pancakes talking about my summer vacations with Sophie and asked me to invite Sophie over for a movie later. I text my pretty girl immediately, but she doesn't reply, which is weird cause she is awake for sure! It's past 10.

We clean the kitchen afterwards as we prepare a pizza for lunch, since Kira requested it. We laugh and mess around, with music blasting around the house.

Kira gets home an hour later, carrying a bag with 2 new pieces of swimsuits for me, from H&M. I hug her tightly and we sit on the couch as I explain our summer plans. The moment we put on an animation though another memory pops in.

*flashback*

Early may

"Hey bitch, you are here! Fucking finally!" Callie greets me holding a red cup. I am late since Alex dropped me off on his way to the fire station for his 48 hour shift. The house is packed with sweaty high schoolers. We are all together, celebrating the fact that, now we all know where we are going to college. But the others don't know another thing. 2 days ago I got a letter from UCLA, and I got accepted. I am going to tell Nat tonight, and I can't wait to see the look on her face. It's gonna make her so happy.

"Hey doll, drinking already I see, huh?" I tease her, as I spot the others in the living room.

"You know me! What's new, we haven't heard from you since Thursday." She links our arms together.

"Yeah, I know...listen no one knows yet but I am telling you cause it involves you as well.....I got into UCLA. Wanna be my roomie?" I ask her and her jaw falls on the ground.

"What!? Are you serious?" I nod my head. "Babe, of fucking course, we are gonna be roomies!" she hugs me and spills some of her drink on my shirt but I don't care.

"Yeah...well, you, me and Nat, of course." I say next and she cringes. Callie is not a fun of Nat, but she smiles back at me again, not wanting to betray her disappointment. "Hey, have you seen her, by the way?" I ask looking around for her.

"Last time I saw her she was talking to that idiot, Teresa Walker." She shrugs.

"Ok, thanks, I'll go find her." I kiss her cheek and leave her. I greet the others real quick and then I walk around the living room, the kitchen, the back yard, but she is nowhere to be found, so the most reasonable conclusion would be the second floor. I pass the first bedroom and then walk to the bathroom to check if she is there, but she is not, so I turn around and face the other bedroom. I walk towards the door and open it, looking down as I do, before I look around the room.

That's when I see her.....on top of Teresa Walker, half naked, licking Teresa's stomach.

The scene unfolds in slow motion, as I watch her look up and her eyes widen at my sight. She gets off the other girl, and Teresa grabs her blouse to hide her naked upper body, as Nat, makes huge strides towards me.

"Baby, it's not what you think, please." she goes to grab my arm and I yank it away, taking a step back as well. "Baby, let me explain, please. Forgive me." she takes a step closer to me and I take a step back. Tears fall down her cheeks, but all I see is the faded lipstick on her neck.

"I got into UCLA." I hear myself tell her before I turn around and run down the stairs, with her, running after me. I see Callie first, her smile vanishes as she sees me and then Natalie who is still half-naked. Soon the others come into view as well as I get outside the house.

"Robin, please! let me explain!" that's the last thing I hear before I start running to nowhere in particular, until I reach home 2 hours later, drenched in sweat, and nearly collapsing on the doormat.

I take my phone out and ignoring the 30 calls and 15 messages from the others, I call Kira.

"Hello? Robin?" I woke her up, I know I did, but Alex is at the fire station for his nightshift and I can't call him.

"Kira, can you please come home?" I tell her and give in. I cry holding the phone in my ear, and that's how she finds me 10 minutes later. She supports my weight and we get in the house, straight to the living room, as I cry my eyes out, while she strokes my hair.

"She cheated on me." it's the only thing I say before I pass out from exhaustion.

*end of flashback*

I have never seen Kira so mad and out of control as I saw her a day after that, when Nat came knocking on my door. I run downstairs, tears in my eyes, but I stop and sat on the last step, and watched as Kira opened the door.

I didn't get to see Nat that night. Kira's body was blocking her view, but I heard her. I heard the pain in her voice, the plead, the desperation. I also heard Kira's harsh words.

'You better stay away from Robin, cos if you ever approach her again, I swear to god, you will regret the day you were born. You are lucky Alex is not here, cos I wouldn't be able to hold him from tearing you apart! Get the hell away.'

It's astonishing how people can become someone else when you hurt them or the people they love.

I keep looking at Kira, our sweet and funny Kira, and I smile, thanking universe she is here.

                                              *********************************************

Robin's POV

The sound of the text made me look away from the TV and the movie we have been watching for awhile now.

From Babe<3: can we meet earlier than scheduled ?

Hmmmm...We were supposed to meet in 2 hours, but I guess my babe missed me as much as I did!

To babe: sure baby girl, you can come by if you want, Kira and Alex are home, and we can all hang out.

Seconds later she replies.

From babe<3: can we meet somewhere outside?

Ummmm...ok? I don't have a problem with that so I let her know.

From babe<3: good, Pablo's waffle house in 30?

Ohhh waffles! I was so craving sugar right now.

To babe<3: of course baby, meet you there my love. Love you!

From babe<3: see you there.

I get up abruptly startling the lovely duo. Alex was tots sleeping during the movie, I can tell by the way he looks at Kira guilty.

"Where to, monkey?" Kira eyes Alex and shakes her head. Alex is a such a huge disappointment when it comes to romantic movies, he always falls asleep...poor Kira, it's sucks to be with a buzzkill.

"Sophie wants to see me earlier, imma get ready, you guys keep watching." I wave my hand at them and run upstairs. I take a quick shower, shave (you never know what's gonna happen) and 10 minutes later I am in front of my mirror, deciding what to wear. It's pretty warm outside, so I choose my loose tank top with the 'I don't suck, I bite' print on it ( Jen's present) knowing that you can see pretty clear what bra I am wearing, and get a glimpse of my boobs, if you are being discreet.

I am totally doing this for Sophie, I am a sneaky bitch and she is a thirsty gal, you can't really blame me for wanting to get her flustered, it's the best time of my day!

I also choose my black shorts, and of course my, not so bleach white, Adidas, then I put some foundation on, a little bit of mascara, and my dark puce lipstick, I love so much....and I am Perfect!

With one last look in the mirror, I take my bag and run downstairs, realizing I am gonna be at least 10 minutes late. Damn it, I should have showered quicker, well, I had to shave....anyway..

"Ciao lovebirds, see ya later!" I yell as I pass by the living room and head to the front door.

"Bye Monkey!" Kira is the only one that bothers replying and I am sure Alex is asleep again. Unbelievable...you are a disgrace Alexander Summers, I thought I taught you better!!

I run to the car, get in, buckle up and immediately I put on my music to light up the mood . Have I mentioned how much I love music? Seriously, I wear my earplugs even when I leave the house to throw out the garbage, which takes precisely 56 seconds. I have counted.

Anyway, I can't live without music, to be honest, it's ridiculous. When I was younger, every time I went somewhere with Alex and Kira by car, I would put on my earplugs and ignore them completely. This was the beginning of my interest in film. I would put on music and I would make a video clip in my mind, or every time I passed by a certain road with woods I would make up stories about people being hunted, running in the woods trying to get away. My lead wore a black cloak, so I could never see the face and she would always fall while running. Cliché I know, even Sophie had a similar dream, and we do have seen it a thousand times on Tv, but that's the picture in my head. I think it comes from the 'The village' movie i watched when I was 9. So yes, music started it all. It even started my existence, given my parents met at a concert, bruh.

Due to my good mood since I am about to see my love, I choose 'conquest of spaces' by Woodkid, another favorite singer, and start the car, being now, 14 minutes late, but my baby girl won't mind of course, she is kinda used to me being late to things.

as I start the car and leave the driveway, my mind goes back to the flashbacks I had earlier. I have to admit that they kind of hit me involuntarily. It's not that I think about Natalie often, I don't, but I can't help but make the comparison between the two girls now and then..it's natural, I suppose..to compare two people, everyone does it with anything really...

Nat was needy, while Sophie is more independent, Nat had a way to make me angry with her attitude, while Sophie, with the exception of 2-3 fights, has never made me lose control. Nat needed my attention, due to her insecurities, while Sophie carries her way differently. She is strong; she doesn't need my declarations of love, like Nat did.

All and all, Sophie would never cheat on me. She would never do what Nat did. She is a forward person and I would like to believe that she would end things with me rather than cheat on me behind my back. But like I said, Sophie would never do that to me. She wouldn't hurt me deliberately. Never in a million years..i bet my money on that.

Now more than ever, my sappy self is on cloud nine, and I know some people would disagree, but it feels like Sophie is the one for me. I would spend the rest of my life with her without question. She is and will forever be everything I want in this life. and yes..you can make fun of me, but at this moment, this is my belief.

i do end up being 13 late, since the traffic was ok, and the moment i reach the place, kill the engine, get off my car and spot her immediately. She is seated on a small table outside, and it surprises me to see that given it is summer and Pablo's waffle house is always full, today, only 2 more couples sit outside. I look at their plates and my mouth waters right away... I do crave sugar and lunch did nothing to satisfy my hunger, so now i am salivating like a damn wolf. I pass by them and head to our table thinking of ordering first a waffle with cookie ice cream and then maybe a slice off apple pie, if I am still hungry.

With a sigh I take the chair across from my pretty girl. She looks up, since she was engrossed on her phone and didn't notice me, and I smile at her.

"Hey baby, you look beautiful." I greet her and lean forward to kiss her. well, looking at her closely, she looks tired, I will give her that, and she isn't wearing her usual attire...she is wearing sweatpants. I don't think I have seen her wear sweatpants before, and snickers. She is always on point....well, even Sophie gets tired of being sophisticated I guess. She looks gorgeous nevertheless though, the prettiest girl around, and I take pride in this. Her green eyes are extra vibrant right now, and I can really get lost in them, maybe I can get a picture of them. Oh yes, I can definitely take a picture, I don't have 'eye' pictures on my Instagram and it's something I have been thinking of adding lately.

"Hey, Ro." Her voice is hoarse, and I notice a cup of tea next to her. She has a sore throat I guess. "Thank you." She looks down again on her phone and puts is away. It is an opportunity for me to grab her hand and kiss her knuckles one by one. I don't care if people are watching; I will kiss my girlfriend whenever I want.

Her hands are cold though and I think she is shaking. Perplexed and worried I look at her.

"Baby, you are shaking....are you feeling ok? Do you have a fever?" I caress her palm and look at her expectedly. She shakes her head, but says nothing which is weird, because she is far from her ordinary self today. Maybe the trip tomorrow is making her anxious?

"Hey, baby, if the trip is stressing you, we can postpone it for a few days...we can start on Monday, I don't have a problem, baby girl." I reassure her trying to make it less stressful. She swallows hard, and is about to speak when the waitress comes.

"Hello, Robin, can I get you something?" Erika, my favourite waitress, works half the days here, while the other girl, I still don't know the name of, works the other half . the other waitress is not so polite, so Erika is my fav, and I always give her a 5 dollar tip. She is a single mom, she told me this a year ago when we started talking, so she needs it more than I do.

"Hey Erika, yes, I would love a waffle with chocolate syrup, cookies ice cream and truffles." I smile at her and look at Sophie next. "Baby do you need anything?" I ask but she declines, glaring at Erika. Oh boy, she is jealous! Oh she is not gonna hear the end of it! "That's a No, I guess, so that will be it, Erika, thank you." She smiles at us and goes back inside. I turn to Sophie again, smirking.

"Baby, Erika is straight, with a 3 year old baby boy. You have nothing to worry about." I kiss the back of her hand again. "I love you, and only you." I lean forward to kiss her again. "Anyway, as I was saying, we can leave on Monday, there is no rush. Have you packed?" she nods yes. Ok, this is weird. She looks around the place for a while, staying really quite as I keep caressing her hand, looking at her. 5 minutes of this and I break the silence.

"Baby, is everything ok?" I frown. If this is about her mom, I swear to Athena, I will drive myself to her hometown and kick Rebecca's ass. Seriously, when is she gonna take it? It's been more than a month, lady, get over it, I am making your daughter happy and she does too. There's nothing wrong with that!

"I am ok." She murmurs, squeezing my hand. "Don't worry." But I do worry, she is my pretty girl, and I can't stand seeing her like this.

"Ok baby. Wanna go back to my place later and watch something? Kira is staying over we can watch something the four of us." She looks at me again but with a face I can't decipher.

"We will see." It's her only reply. I don't get to ask her if she is truly ok, because Erika is next to me with a huge plate. Oh this is food porn. Honest to god!

"Here you go Robin. Enjoy." She leaves it in front of me and I smile like a kid during Christmas. I take my phone and snap a picture and then a picture of my pretty girl who is rather out of it at the moment and does not smile, and then post the food photo on instagram.

happy with the caption and upload, I stare at my plate ready to devour it. I cut a huge bite but before to eat it I ask me pretty girl if she wants a bite of this masterpiece, and surprisingly she does, so I give the fork to her and then when I get my fork back, I cut another bite and eat it like a starving caveman.

I am totally in love with my plate and I devour half the waffle in record time. I stop though to drink some water, when I see there's no glass for me. Erika must have forgotten to bring one.

"Hey, baby, can I drink some of your water?" I ask and before she replies, I bring the glass to my mouth, drink its content and then I go back to my plate again, happily enjoying it.

I finish eating and moaning, in 5 minutes so I can finally focus on my pretty girl. She hasn't said a word to me all this time and I saw her fidgeting a lot, looking left and right, avoiding eye contact.

"Baby, are you sure you are feeling ok? You seem a bit off." If she is coming down with something I don't care about the trip. We will wait until she is feeling better and is well rested.

Sophie though lowers her head and in seconds she hides her face behind her both shaking hands. I watch her closely, because now I am more than worried. Something is up.

It doesn't take long for her to begin to sniffle and rub her hands on her face.

"Baby...what's wrong?" I ask cautiously. Seconds later, she removes her hands from her face and I see the tears. Her gaze is killing me...she looks so broken right now. What did they do to her? "Baby, talk to me please...what is it? Did something happen?" I reach for her hand but she leans away. She shakes her head a few times as if she wants to make her thoughts go away, and then looks at me dead in the eye.

"I...I am...I am sorry." She whispers.

"Baby, don't feel sorry, it's ok, I just wanna help you, but I get it if you need space." I try and she closes her eyes.

"I am so sorry.....I am....." she repeats clenching her fists.

"Baby, what's wrong?" I am so confused right now.

"I can't do this." It's what she says next and opens her eyes again. I knew the trip would be stressing her out.

"Baby, we don't have to go on the trip if it's making you like this. I don't care; I just wanna spent my days with you. I don't care how." I honestly state the truth. I should have known it is early in that stage of our relationship to go on a roadtirp just the two of us.

She sighs deeply as tears run down her cheeks. She leans forward again and takes my hands in hers this time, and I get drowned in the green of her eyes.

"Robin......" she looks a bit to the right... "I am so...sorry." She makes no eye contact. "I am so sorry....I can't." She then looks at our joined hands and I do too.

She is not talking about the trip is she? I look at her hands in mine, feeling my stomach clench and unclench as I try to make sense of it. She can't be doing this, right? She is not...this isn't happening...no...no, it is not happening.

"Sophie" I don't recognize my own voice right now. "What is this?" I remove my hand from hers and bring it to her chin. I make her look at me and her face says is all. She is crying uncontrollably, and her bottom lip is trembling, like it always does when she cries.

"I never... meant to....to hurt you." She says biting her lip. "I love you...so much...please understand...please." she swallows and hides her face in her hands again.

I keep blinking not knowing if this is a joke or not, cause the person, who reassured me she loves me days ago, the person that sees me in her future, the person I shared my dreams with, cannot be doing this right now. The person that stopped me from breaking up with her to make it easier and chose me over her family in her way reassuring me that we wouldn't break up because of it, cannot be doing this to me. the person that told me to trust her, can not be doing this to me.

Only she is. She is doing this to me.

"Please try to understand....please....I love you....I really do." she sniffles reaching for my hands again. I watch her in slow motion, just like it happened with Natalie that day at the party. Her finger makes contact with my skin, I can see the shadows her fingers create on my hand and I can feel how cold her skin feels against mine, something that never bothered me or I hadn't notice since now. Her palm is sweaty due to her stress, and she is trembling. Her touch is not warm anymore, but it does burn my skin. I look up at her and her pleading eyes.

"Please...please understand." She keeps saying and under other circumstances I would reassure her I do, but this isn't what I want to hear from her.

"Say it." I speak with a hoarse tone that it is not me. "Say the word." Her eyes water again but nothing comes out of her mouth. "Say it for what it is." I insist, losing me cool.

"Ro..."

"Say it!" I raise my voice and it startles her. I see her nodding her head and then lower it.

"I am breaking up with you." She finally says it, but this isn't how I wanted it.

"Look me in the eyes and say it." I demand. It's the least that I deserve. Is it not?
She takes a deep breath and looks up in my eyes. She licks her lips a few times and after that she prepares herself.

"I can't do this anymore, we can't be together." This makes it real for me. She isn't kidding, and she won't be changing her mind. She is not doing this out of selfishness, or because she doesn't love me, cause I know she does. That was never in question.

She is choosing. Just like I knew she would have to do when I asked her for a break. Only difference is that now she is not trying to change my mind. Now it's her, choosing the other part and not me. After reassuring me, and making me believe that everything will be ok, she is now choosing to leave. To leave me after begging me not to leave her a month ago. I wonder what hurts more right now...the fact that I felt safe and secure in her arms only to have her break me like this, or the fact that she is choosing to be the good girl after all...cos make no mistake...this won't be a time off until things get better back home. This is the real deal.. a break up. She is choosing to erase everything we had, everything we were. She is choosing her mom, and her mom is not accepting. She is breaking up with me for good. She is leaving me.

My parents didn't choose to leave; Nat in a way didn't choose to leave....but Sophie...Sophie chooses to. She thought of it, planned to tell me, she came here knowing that in the end we would part ways broken up and broken, but still, she looked me in the eyes, kissed me back, ate from my food and hold my hand, planning to kill me in a matter of seconds.

At that is what makes her worse that Natalie in my head. This is what makes the coin flip to the other side and turn love to hate. She chose to do this to me and this is something I will never forget and forgive.

But I do understand. I am not stupid. I understood pretty well what she meant when she said she wasn't ready to come out. I understood why she called me her 'friend' and I understood not being able to hold her hand and kiss her out in the open. I understood when she cried her eyes after her come out, and I understood when she kept being optimistic hoping her mother would call.

After all Sophie is an 18 year old girl, craving approval, which I understand.

So now, I do understand....but I refuse to forgive and forget. This is so much different from what I did a month ago. It is different to, let's call it, 'sacrifice' your self so that the person you love is somehow less in pain, than having the person you wanted to protect, throw you as the sacrifice. She is not protecting me, not trying to keep me from hurt. She is choosing to sacrifice me so that she can be happy. She is selfish at best when I was selfless. This is different. This is a game change in my head, and I don't care if it makes no sense, but it is how I feel. Betrayed. Broken. fucking stupid.

8 months ago I told Sophie that the moment someone breaks my heart along with my trust, I stop loving them, I stop feeling the same way about them, and I don't know if this is possible, like there is a switch or something, but right now, looking at her, I don't feel the same. I feel nothing. I am numb, and the over floating love feeling in my chest is no longer there, or maybe it is, but it's overshadowed by anger, sadness, pain, and disappointment. At myself though. It was my decision and my decision only to be with her.

Guess that heart of mine, was not well healed the first time, because all it took to be broken again was but a few words. Weak heart, this heart of mine. Naïve and weak. It always seems to break.

"Ro..i...I am s-" she mumbles desperately.

"Sorry? So you keep say." I huff shaking my head, starting to get agitated.

"I am... I truly I am, if I could do somethi-"

"People always have a choice, and this is yours, so own it." I say coldly.

This makes her eyes widen in surprise. She is broken I can tell, but I am not the one breaking her apart. Her eyes have her known pain expression. Good, she should be in pain. I shouldn't be alone in this.

If I am in pain, she deserves to be in it as well.

"I had no choice; please...please don't be like this. I love you." I chuckle at the world 'love' this time. I couldn't control it, I swear. It came out involuntarily. She stops and wipes her tears off her cheeks and I keep staring at her.

"It's true what they say then, you hurt the people you love, right?" I deadpan. "Anything else you wanna add in this?"

In all honesty if I had the choice to choose how I wanna be hurt, I would definitely choose Natalie's script. You rip off the bandage, straight to the point. I see you cheating, you try to apologize, I avoid you till you get in that fucking head of yours that you are a motherfucking bitch that hurt my feelings, and then forget your existence in a matter of months.

This is how I would choose it to be. Not like this. It's the most awkward moment of my life, and a bit hilarious to be honest. Like the scene in the movies, when the guy breaks up with his girlfriend and the girlfriend slaps the guy, throw things at him, spits on him, anything like that.

But when the other person is looking at you, pleading you to forgive her and declaring she loves you again and again, it's plainly awkward. What do I do?

Slap her? Not a change.

Throw water at her....not a change either, plus the glass is empty.

So I simply stare at her. Seething internally, but unable to act. I refuse to give that to her. To see me broken. Any reaction out of me. I won't give her this.

I can tell my reactions are not what she expected though, she doesn't know how to deal with this, what to say, what to do. It's obvious, it's making her feel awkward and I do not pity her.

"I never meant to hurt you... I am sorry." She lowers her head not knowing what else to say, and I have nothing to say to her as well. I just want to end this and go home.

Show is over.

I reach for my wallet and take 20 dollars out, for her and for me and Erika's tip, and put in on the table.

"I am sorry I trusted you with my heart." I say and get up. I take my bag, put the strap on my shoulder and turn around but I just have to say this one more thing. To 'win' this, if you will. So I turn my head to the left so that she can see my profile.

"I do understand...don't worry." I hear her getting up and sniffle again but I won't let her get near me. "But, I will never forgive you. Have a good summer." I say and walk away, but it was her that left me. Ironic huh?

I walk to my car and get in, spacing out, not seeing anything around me.

"Ro!" she calls out on the other side of the street, and starts walking towards my car as if she is trying to stop me. Just like Natalie did, and just like the 2 years younger version of me I carry on, start the car, not looking back.

And then for no reason at all, a line from 'the Fosters' comes in my head. I mean it's not from the TV series, it's from Shakespeare and I don't think it's that relevant, but it popped out in my head.

                              ' For never was a story of more woe

                                                          Than this of Juliet and her Romeo.'

Just a fairytale gone back.

Sophie's POV

"I do understand...don't worry." She says and momentarily hope starts rising in my chest.

"But, I will never forgive you." And just like that, the hope died again. My ears are ringing, and my head is split in two because of this headache, and the heartache is causing me nausea. Is this what a broken heart feels like?

She walks away from me and I watch her. Why wouldn't she walk away, after everything I did to her? I start breathing hard, trying to get some air in my lungs as my eyes sting from all the crying, but I have more tears. It doesn't feel like they are going to end soon.

I watch her get in the car, and this strange feeling of hopelessness creeps on me and forces me to call out her name, trying to stop her from starting the car, from driving away, to stop her and make her get out of the vehicle, run to me and hold my with all her might. To make her tell me she loves me back, or that she is neither angry nor broken...that she forgives me and she wants me in her life.

But it doesn't work. Life doesn't work like that. I take a few steps towards the car, not actually thinking about it, I just walk focused on the car, on her. But she starts the engine and she drives away, so watching her is the only thing I can do.

I lean on the driver's door of my car and kneel down, feeling the early symptoms of a panic attack begin. I take deeps breaths, counting again and again, trying to control my breathing, to get the freaking oxygen to my lungs as my hands are shaking and my tears stain the road. I try to think of something happy, of something calm and warm and to no surprise, her smile, her eyes and her embrace is what comes to me, breaking me farther.

I stand up, feeling my feet weak and get in the car. I start the engine and drive off speeding for once in my life, struggling to get away as far as possible.

How poetic it would be of me to run after her, chase her, make her stop in the middle of the road and get out of her car, only that I could run in her arms? It would be definitely something Robin would do.

Me? I run. I leave people behind. Singular. A person. The one I keep dragging near me only to run away from. Robin....my Robin.

I know I handled this the worst way possible. I know. But I couldn't speak, the words wouldn't leave my mouth. what was I supposed to say? I love you, I asked you to stay with me and trust me with this, but now I am leaving you?' Or something like 'remember my mom? Yeah, she is being a bitch and she is not accepting me and she is creating a mess back home, so I am leaving you to go back home and fix this. I know I asked you to trust me but hey, you are just the girl I am seeing and family tops that.' Or something like this maybe ' I am sorry for being a bitch right now, you tots deserve to slap me, but I have to go back home and be mom's little girl till she either accepts me or I go crazy myself. Feel free to wait for my while at it, I am sure it will take forever.'

Maybe I should have said the truth. Tell her that my parents are fighting, that I feel guilty, that Ben is sad and that he needs me.... but if I had told her that she would forgive me and wait for me. Robin would wait for me, she would hold my hands and she would try to be supportive. But I don't want that.

I dragged her back in the closet, because I was insecure and afraid. I took an out and proud person and make her cautious of her actions, secretive, afraid of crossing the lines with me. She might never said anything but I could tell over the months we were together, that it hurt her not being out with me. The moment she looked at me at the club at spring break, was the most luminous look I ever got from her. The happiness radiated, her smile spoke volumes. She was so bright that moment, that it made me realize just how less vibrant she was before my public coming out. How truly proud she was for me. I saw all that that moment and the moments that followed till my coming out to my family. She got grey again, she lost her colour.

If I told robin about what is really going on, she would wait and I don't know how much that would be. My mom might never be ok with this.. and now I am not strong enough to react. So I am ashamed. I am not the person she deserves to have in her life and I am not worth the wait. I will not hold her back. I won't make her wait until this is over. So I used the wrong way to tell her that. But that is not all. I told her she could trust me. I insisted I would never hurt her, that we would be together to face this as one....and I left her. I left the person I love the most...and she doesn't deserve a coward like me.

But I promised Sam all these months ago, that if things get too much, I would set Robin free.

So I speed, and quickly I reach the city limit. I stop though purposely on a spot I haven't visited in 8 months. I get out of the car, and start walking towards the now flourished and filled with flowers and bright green leaves, woods. It doesn't take long to find the tree. Our tree...no one's tree now. I touch the core, and lean resting my head on it and I take breathe after breathe, remembering line after line that we exchanged back then.

But the air is not coming in and this unbearable feeling of hopelessness is choking me.

I didn't know what to expect really. Robin never reacts the way most people would. I was prepared for anger. I knew that doing this would destroy everything we had, and I knew that she would be broken, but I hoped...no, I counted, on her love for me, that eventually she would forgive me although I don't deserve it. That she would be able to look at me the way she did before and not like I had hurt her...and maybe after this, we would still be friends.

I never thought that she would not be in my life, but now, after her reaction, I know she won't be.

And the mere thought of my life without her makes me dizzy and I tremble and my chest aches...maybe it's the lack of oxygen though, since I haven't taken a proper breathe for a while. This can't be all because of a broken heart, because I don't have one. It's dark, and cold, cold as ice now that she hates me. But even from before...only a heartless person would hurt someone like this.

A person that loved me, respected me, cared for me like she did. She gave me everything I wanted and this is how I repay her. A monster. A heartless one.

But I had no choice. I chose the mind after all and not the heart. I chose to hurt one instead of 3....maybe I did have a choice. Maybe not really though.

Let's say I did choose Ro...my parents would continue to fight, my brother would be sad and scared and I would feel guilty, and Robin would to. My parents would get a divorce, my brother would have to split his time between the two of them, and farther down the road, as a grown-up he would hate me for ruining our family out of a love that no one guaranteed would last forever.

I don't have the ability to turn back time and change this...but I do have the ability to shape the future, mine and my family's and maybe Robin's, so I chose family.

I had never thought of anyone other than myself all these years. I am selfcentered, and selfish, so other people's feelings didn't matter. I never thought I could make an impact on someone's life till 2 days ago, when scenario after scenario flashed in my head.

I am going to hurt people, I am going to make them hate me, recent me, feel sick at the thought of me, feel broken and used by me.

I never wished for that person to be Robin, though. Not my beautiful and kind Robin who's been through so much.

If only I knew it would end this way. If only someone would have warmed me about all this. To have said: don't turn around; ignore the tap on your shoulder, because if you don't, your life will change. Don't turn around, because the girl holding the leaflet, will make dreams with you, will love you unconditionally, and will give you everything she has. She will hug you and kiss you and make you feel happiness you have never experienced in your life so far. Don't turn around, because this person...this person will end up crying because of you, end up broken. Don't turn around, because if you do, it ends with tears and pain. Just keep to yourself and keep looking ahead. Don't turn around, she will stop eventually and she will let you be. She will walk outside the classroom, will go home, be with her friends, meet someone else on a party she went to, kiss some other girl, fall for this other girl, and be happy with the other girl. And you...you will go home as well, go to your room, open your book, and will continue this routine till you have your degree, leave for London, come back and after years and years of an uninteresting life, you will eventually close your eyes.

I close my eyes and clench my fists, pricking the skin with my nails and I fall down. I look up in the now pink summer sky and scream. Scream like there's no tomorrow. Just to get it all out. So that I can I breathe.

I scream and scream till my lungs give out and my throat hurts and the tears end for now. I get up, take a look around and turn my back. I walk towards the car, get in, start the engine and leave the city that showed me love.

I drive blasting the music, because the silence makes the voices in my head go wild and soon new city lights appear in the horizon. City lights I have known my whole life. I stop at the light before my house, check myself in the mirror, wipe the stains and pitch my cheeks, drink some water and drive again.

I park outside my house and get out, fix my clothes, sniffle for the last time and put a fake smile on my face the moment Ben comes out of the house running towards me.

"Soso, you are here!" he hugs my waist and I kneel down to make it easier for him to reach me. I embrace him tightly breathing him in, and in all this craziness and the hurt ache, I am glad I spared him the pain.

"I missed you, Benjie." I close my eyes needing some love too.

"Soso did you do something bad?" he asks me with his innocent eyes.

"Don't worry Benjie, I am fixing it." I hug him tighter.

When I open them Dad is standing a few feet away, looking at us, with a pained smiled. He knows about what happened. I texted him before my date with Ro and told him I would fix this.

But then mom comes outside as well looking all regal and stoic.

I walk towards Dad and hug him, feeling somehow better in his arms, but not entirely.

"I am sorry for everything I caused" I murmur and he takes a deep breath.

"I am sorry I let you down" he replies breaking my heart. "I am sorry this ended like that too. Is she ok?" he asks next and I sniffle more audibly.

"She will never be ok." I tell him and he hugs me even tighter than before, crashing my bones. I leave his embrace thought because I don't think I can hold it together much longer, and my brother shouldn't see me cry. I refuse to alert him in any way...he has been through a lot lately, with them fighting, so no, I won't break him.

"I will go get to bags." Dad says and along with Ben they get to my car as I walk towards my mother. I don't hate her....but at the moment, I don't particularly like her. I stop in front of her and look into her eyes, these icy blue eyes, that used to look at me with love and not disappointment or disguise, and since she is not reaching for a hug, I do it. I put my hands around her back and kiss her cheek like I always do. She is looking at me confused by my actions, expecting a tantrum, perhaps...but I am always the perfect daughter, right? This kind of reaction would be unacceptable. So no, I don't yell, I don't cry. I take a step back, smile at her, and once I know she is focused on me, I give her my piece of mind, the best way I can.

"The words never left my mouth, mother. If this is what will make you happy and a loving mother to your daughter, then I never said those words." I coldly say and her eyes widen. But I am not done yet. "But it happened. And this is something you will never take away from me. I will forever be in love with Robin, whether you like it or not." And then I look back at my approaching dad and brother. "I am here for them, not for you, because to me....they are more important. You can pretend these words, also, never left my mouth as well, but I said them and I meant them." And with that, I pass by her, walk up the stairs, go to my room, lock the door and lie in my bed.

I don't hate her...no.... I despise her.

We are not that different, me and her. We hurt the people we love, selfishly and unapologetically so.

Like mother, like daughter.

                                                                                 ***The end***

A/N: So here is the end.... of Season 1! We are currently on the making of Season 2, but life keeps getting in the way.... BUT we promise to update as soon as possible. 

Sorry it took so long to upload, but better late than ever! Please vote and comment! Did you see this coming? It's huge right? We really want to hear your thoughts.About anything! About the chapter, about the book, the story, the characters, whatever comes in mind! It's a true motivation and inspiration so don't feel shy! 

Anyway we shouldn't end things like that, but you never know What Life Holds.... 

We really want to say thank you for anyone who votes and comments and for staying with us in this ride. See ya in Season 2!!!!