Notes:

Additional Cast:

Rebecca Romijn as Rebecca Marie Ford

Timothy Olyphant as Nicholas Ford

Nolan Gross as Benjamin Gerrard Ford

Paget Brewster as Laureen Nelson

Nikolaj Coster-Waldau as Harry Nelson

Nick Zano as Alex Summers

Sophie's POV

As expected, I nailed the test and I managed to make Sam happy by not ruining her book. On top of that, having Ro desperately trying to get my clothes off made my day perfect. My libido is not as high as Ro's but I did miss our nights together and the way her body feels next to mine, or better yet, spooning me, which is our current position. She is kissing my shoulder feeling smug and proud of herself for making me break my resilient and moan loudly, which still makes me a bit embarrassed from time to time.

Alex, as per usual was casted away to Kira's, which is something I would never agree on, it's his house after all, but Ro said he is more than ok with it and already scarred for life. It only clicked a few moments later, what she meant by 'scarred for life', and I can say the thought of that incident made my stomach clench in pain. Ro has done a good job keeping me from feeling jealous of her ex or the girls she has been with, denying to answer my question of how many girls there were, but it's only natural of me to think about Ro and Natalie. True to her words, Ro took Natalie's photo from the collaze and now MY photo is hanging there among with her other beloved people, so I win, right? But still, I can't help but wonder how they were together. Was Robin the big spoon with her too?

"Tell me about Natalie." My mouth says and I close my eyes for being so stupid. What the heck, brain?

When Ro's hands loosen up on my waist and then leave my body completely, I know I ruined the night. She lies on her back as I turn around to face her afraid of how this can go. She is not angry though, just frowning.

"Why do you wanna know?" she examines me carefully.

"I was just curious...you never talk about the time you were together, and I guess I wanted to know your dynamics. How you were with her." I say guilty. I also lay on my back next to her, looking at the ceiling and the star stickers that glow in the dark. I was sure she wouldn't answer but she did.

"I pumped into her the first day of our junior year. She was wearing a unicorn t-shirt... the same one I wear sometimes... it's hers." She says but even though my heart aches at the info that her dorky t-shirt she wears, is Natalie's, I don't say anything. I let her continue.

"We had fourth period together and she sat next to me. I noticed she was wearing a rainbow bracelet and she noticed I had a 'Gay is ok' sticker on my notebook. We started talking and after thanksgiving she asked me out. She took me to the theaters and we watched a romcom, and at the end of the date we kissed. She was my first everything, Soph. I was happy with her, the first few months at least. Then things got tough and I started being less happy and she became more demanding. She used to pick up fights over stupid things and she pretty much carried the whole fight on her own, I never raised a voice or talked back. We had bad moments, but I loved her and I knew she was more than what her outbreaks made her. After Christmas, senior year, the fights became more frequent and irrational, until one fine party night I saw her with someone else. I left the scene, she went after me, just like you see in the movies, but I didn't look back." She swallows hard. I reach over and put my hand around her waist and start drawing patterns on her hip bone to make her feel I am here for her.

"She is not a bad person. She is just not the person I fell for. Once, when I was feeling blue, she made up a silly game just to make me laugh. Or this other time, I had my wise tooth removed and she stayed over to take care of me when Alex worked. She made me soup and then bought me ice cream. She is caring and sweet but she had her demons, just like I do, just like everyone does. She hurt me, but she also made me happy. It's human encounter basics."

"We are different in that." I say calmly. "You can forgive and forget. You don't expect people to act a certain way and you are not thrown off if they don't act like that. You are lenient with people. I am not. I hated Vanessa for no reason. I judge people without knowing them, like I did with you, with Vanessa, Nathan, and Alice. I was awful to them." I pout feeling sad. I have regretted giving them the ice queen attitude I wear around people I don't know. "It's a miracle they call me a friend. I have been a bitch to them. They give me more than I give them." I nuzzle my head on her shoulder and she starts playing with my hair.

"That's not entirely true, babe. Vanessa more than likes you; the girl has been there for you as you've told me at your coming out process. She has had your back ever since, she is like our personal groupie or something! And Nathan, you remember how grateful he was when you helped him with his paper. Plus we have been going to his games to support him. And you go jogging with Alice pretty often. Oh and Nicky has something like a celebrity crush on you, she always says how amazing you are and how much she likes you and I know you guys have been texting each other talking about stuff. And you know what, Sam really likes the fact that you are pre law. I mean you are like her real life Annalise Keating. She respects what you do. Let's not mention Kira and Alex 'cause they are pretty loud on how they feel about you. And last but not least, you managed to make 5 people that have never met you, like you, over a 2 minute facetime call." She ends and I smile. Typical Robin, always there to make me feel good about myself.

"I love you so much." Is all I tell her, as I intertwine our fingers. I wait a few seconds as I gather up my strength.

"I will tell them this Sunday." I say and she sits up breaking our cuddle. I sit up as well, taking her hand again, as I inspect her eyes. So vibrant and widen and loving. She is giving me her puppy eyes and she bites her lip nervously. "I want them to know I love you. I am ready for that. You deserve it. I will tell them on Sunday after lunch and then I will come back to you." I say and her smile is reaching her ears. Funny how simple words can make people happy.

She cups my cheeks and kisses me with love as she pushes me back on the bed and lays on top of me, peppering sweet kisses everywhere she can find and I keep staring at her star filled ceiling, feeling braver than ever. Come Sunday my parents will know and everything will be ok. They have to be. They love me, and I am still me, just like Joss and Vanessa said these months ago.

Friday

"Make sure you call me when you get home, ok? I hate waiting around to see if you made it home. Oh and give my best to your parents and a big kiss to Ben. That kid is a badass. Also call me on Sunday after you tell them, ok? I know things will go smoothly, but that doesn't mean I am not nervous. Oh and can you like, not tell your parents we have sex? I don't want them to think of me as the person that eats their daughter's p-", a rumbling Ro is an anxious Ro, so I am ending this circus.

"Ok, ok, I got it. Ro, relax you are making me nervous!" I stop her before she ends her sentence. She nods once and then envelops me in a bone crushing hug.
"I am just so excited about this, baby girl. I am nervous, I am sorry. I love you." She says in one breath and I giggle. "This means so much to me, Soph... being with you out in the open like this... it's freeing. I am so happy." She says still crashing me in front of the SCU parking lot with people walking around us, minding their business. After spring break our display of affections is bolder than before. Not something majorly huge, more like kisses on the cheek and hand holding or a few pecks that last milliseconds. I have to say, it's quite liberating for me as well. Now I can love her the proper way.

I break the embrace with a 'dork' and Ro feigns hurt. I peck her quickly and then I open the driver's door, signaling it's time for me to go. The dinner is to be held at 6, so I need to get home without any delays.
I get behind the wheel and after another kiss on the cheek again, I close the door, buckle up and start the car.

I get home around 3 and the place is already a battlefield. A catering truck is parked outside, and people wearing white shirts and ties walk around the house carrying trays of food. Mother is an organizer. I find dad first, as I enter the house. He is in the kitchen, speaking with one of the people in the white shirts. She stops immediately what he is doing and comes to hug me with a lighting speed.

"Hey, honey! It's so good to see you! Look at you, you are glowing! College is good for you." He says kissing my forehead and I lay my head on his chest, listening to the sound of his heart beating. "Your mom is going crazy outside, go greet her, hon. Ben will be here in a few hours." He says and I leave him in the kitchen. When I reach our backyard, that mother has spent years decorating with a gazillion of flowers, I spot her near the swimming pool. There is a huge white table there, filled with food, meaning the dinner will be held outside this year. I count 14 chairs. Last year there were around 20, so we have casualties.

I walk towards her and she smiles when she sees me. I hug her tightly as her scent travels to my nose. The scent of home.
"Hey sweetie, I missed you. I am going crazy over these napkins. Should we go with blue or red?" she says pointing the different napkins.

"Blue, mom. It matches your eyes and it's more regal." I hit jackpot. Her face lits up in appreciation and she nods.

"Good call hon, now go get ready; people will be here in a few hours. Wear the white dress I got you for Christmas, ok?" she says tucking a curl behind my ear.

"Sure, mom. Oh who's coming tonight?" I look at the chairs again in case I counted wrong.

"Grandma, grandpa, your aunt Helen with Paul, Harry and Laureen, the Boltons, and Uncle Jake with Mary."

"What about Brian and Julie?" Damn, my favorite cousin, Julie won't be attending. Julie is 15 years older than me, but she is the only cousin I am really close to. I also have a younger cousin from Uncle Jake, Hailey, but she is in junior high so she usually skips boring family dinners, plus we don't have a lot in common yet. But I do have a lot in common with Julie. She used to take me to the funfairs when I was younger and I always had a lot of fun. She was a classical ballet dancer that now owes her own studio. She got married to Brian 2 years ago and now are planning on getting pregnant. I love them both to death. I used to spend my Saturdays at their house and we would watch tv series and eat dinner together or play board games. Brian works for the city council and given the fact that he just joined the family, I can feel very comfortable around him. He is married to my favorite cousin, which says it all.

"They have another obligation, sweetie, you know how busy Brian is with the city council, they have to attend an event." That's a bummer. "Also nanna and papa will have to fly back tomorrow morning as well, so they will be staying with us tonight instead of a hotel, it seemed pointless to book a room for a day. Jake is renovating his guest room and the place is a mess." Mom explains. My grandparents usually stay with Uncle Jake and his wife when they visit, but they always stay in our house during New Year's.
"That's ok, mom, I can take the guest room if you want. My bed is more comfortable." I offer, not minding.

"That won't be necessary, sweetie, but thank you. Now go get beautiful." She winks at me and I leave her. I go to my room and before I take a shower, I text Robin.
To babe: got home safe. My parents seem happy and excited over their dinner; I have to go get ready. Love you. Have fun at the party baby.

I still feel sorry I will miss Nathan's birthday party, but I have to do this now that I have the chance. I wished him happy birthday yesterday and gave him his present, which he liked, and apologized for not being able to be there.

In a minute a get a text back: ok, babe, have fun. Send me a picture of the most beautiful girl on the table, ok?( and by that I mean you, unless there's another pretty girl there tonight. In that case, sabotage her babe. The only one that gets to steal the show is you.) <3

At 6 we were all seated around the table. Benjie is next to me, while the Nelsons are in front of us. Laureen looks as beautiful as ever and Mr. Nelson is occasionally holding her hand when speaking about their daily routine without Joss and Dan.
I was occupied with my plate, when Laureen calls my name. I look up and her warm smile makes me smile. This smile reminds me of Joss. They all say the boys have their father's looks, but my Joss is more like his mother than he acknowledges. From what we have lived all these years, knowing Joss and his troubles, Mr. Nelson has always been unfair to him in one way or another, so Laureen is my favorite. That's why I never bothered calling him Harry. He insists but I just can't call him by his name. I am sure Robin would have a crazy theory about why that is.

"Sweetie, how is college? Are you guys eating well? Do you need us to sent you both more money? Becca and I are worried you are feeding yourself with all this unhealthy food. Is Joss considerate? Does he help you around the house?" She starts. Her face lights up when she talks about Joss.
"Don't worry, Laureen, we are managing just fine, and Joss is helping me as much as he can." Half lie but who cares?

"Perfect, is he sleeping ok? Please tell him not to tire himself, I know he wants to prove himself but I want him healthy and happy. I am putting you in charge of that." She winks at me. I am about to answer when Mr. Nelson joins the conversation.

"Is he attending all his classes? I am not paying all that money so that he can fool around and party." He says pointing a finger at me. "We all know how Joseph can be sometimes with parties, and I won't have him losing focus." I stare at him feeling anger.

"Honey, Joss is a smart boy, he knows what he is doing." Laureen says calmly. A much discussed topic in the Nelson house over the years.

"I know he is smart, but he is stubborn and wants to do his own thing. Daniel was never like that." He says sternly. That is enough.

"I am sorry Mr., Nelson, but Dan and Joss are two different people, and to answer your question, no Joss is not wasting your money parting nor skipping classes. He is doing an amazing job and I couldn't be prouder of my best friend. As I am sure you are proud as well. Joss is a remarkable person." My voice is laced with a mixture of annoyance and disappointment. Parents are supposed to love you and support you for who you are, not what you give. I have grown up with Laureen and Harry, and I have been there pretty much every time Harry talks on and on about Joss and how he is wasting his brain, and as a person that has heard that from my own mother, I feel for my Joss. There is no question both my mother and Harry love us, but maybe they are showing it the wrong way. Thankfully my mother seems more proud of me ever since I left for college.
They both exchange a look and after a warm smile from Laureen, they turn their attention to my dad and uncle that talk about the elections.
As the dinner proceeds, I get really bored without Joss, Julie and Brian. They always know how to make family gatherings fun. With my hand supporting my head, I hear Benjie speak.

"I wish Julie was here, Soso." He says because he loves her too.

"I know, I miss them too. How about you, got any news?" I ask. Last thing I found out was that he will marry Jessica Collins, whose brother if I am remember correctly, Skyler, was a few years younger than me.

"Everything is good. I really like the CD Robin gave me. The kids say the songs in it are very cool, so now I am popular. Can Robin give me another one? Can you ask her please?" he looks at me with his puppy eyes that can never make you say no to him.

"Of course, little devil. I will text her and see what I can do! How does that sound?" I ask getting my phone out. He raises his fist in the air and hugs me messily. When Ro was here, she made a cd for him, with all these weird songs she listens to and by that I mean, songs like 'can't feel my face' or 'worth it'. These are no songs for a kid, but Ben went nuts about them, they took my ears off that day.

I text Robin real quick: babe, my brother is demanding you make him another CD. He said it made him popular in his grade. (Disapproving glare)

She texts me back instantly: ha! That kid is the coolest devil in the hood. I'll give you a list later with songs. Love you, pretty girl.
I smile widely at her text and let Ben know that he has another cool CD coming his way tonight, which caused another set of cheers in the table. I snap a picture with him winking and sent it to Ro.
From babe: damn, good looks run in the family, protect this innocent kid from the hungry kindergarten girls! You are also beautiful and stunning, baby ;)
And then attached to the text, I get a picture. Ro is with Alex and Kira, playing a game in their living room. She is going later to the party along with Sam and Nicky, so know I guess it is family time. Ro is blowing me a kiss, Alex has his tongue out while Kira winks animatedly at me. Crazy people hanging out.
I giggle at the picture focused on Ro's face and the void feeling in my stomach, the one you have when you miss someone, and then decide to scroll through my gallery to gaze at more pictures.
"Sophie dear, what is that smile for? You have been staring at the phone for quite some time." I hear my grandma say from across the table and my blood runs cold. I drop the phone on the table while all 12 people on the table look at me. Grandma has a devious look on her face, dad is smiling, Grandpa has his eyebrow raised while mother's face is clean of emotions. She is just looking at me expectedly, like the others. I feel like all the spotlights are on me and that makes me sweat.
"Umm... nothing. I was letting Joss know about something." I mumble scared. My fingers play automatically with the table cloth.
"Oh yes, Joseph! What a fine young man. Your smile says it all ,sweetie, it's a lovey dopey smile! Please tell me you both decided to give it a chance? He would make a great addition to our family, dear, you look lovely together. I am so happy for you." My eyes widen at grandma's comment. Not the 'Joss' thing again! A girl and a boy can be best friends without getting into a relationship.
I don't get to answer as the whole table goes wild. Literally.
Dad is fist pumping Harry, grandpa is cheering, Laureen is smiling widely at me, reaching for my hand and squeezing it, and my aunts are talking loudly about how they knew we would end up together. There is a panic at the table, but mother stops the charade.
"Ok, ok, people stop this. They are both too young to be making long term decisions. Sophie needs to focus on her studies. I do love Joseph as my own son, and I couldn't be happier to have him as my son in law, but let's not pressure things." She says calmly.
"Becca, I told you the moment Sophie bought ice cream for my Joss, that Sophie would be an amazing daughter in law!" Laureen says at my mom. And then at me. " Sophie sweetie, I hope you know you already got my vote." I swallow hard. What a mess!
"Um... thank you Laureen, but I am... Joss and I.. we... are not." I move my hands like crazy struggling to find words but my mind is numb! "We... we.. um... friends." I say and the table laughs again at my nervousness and red chicks, which are not from my 'crush' on Joss as I am sure they think it is, but from being put on the spot. I hate it when they do it.
"Alright, alright, give our poor Sophie some space, people. I am sure whenever something happens they will let us know." My grandpa says and dad nods. Soon enough the conversation shifts to other subtexts again, while I take deep breaths to calm down. I am sure the whole family is going to lose it when we tell them about me and Ro. But the plan is to tell just my parents for now.
The dinner ended with a beautiful speech from my dad. The whole table clapped as both mom and dad kissed and dad gave her a very expensive ring and a 2 week trip to their honeymoon destination, while mom gave him a new watch. My dad is more sentimental with presents, something I don't think I have gotten from him. Robin's gifts are way better than mine, more thoughtful and loving. My dad will definitely approve of her sappiness. They are so much alike.
In my bed, I text Ro goodnight: that was a wrap. I am beat. Talk to you tomorrow baby. Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
From babe: sweet dreams baby, I love you to the moon and back.
To babe: I think all 768800 km are enough proof of your love. Love you as much. <3
From babe: of course you would know the lunar distance. #mygfisadork
To babe: I googled it. I like educating myself :P <3

Saturday

A knock on my door wakes me up from my sleep and I groan. I still feel tired. What time is it?

I reach for my phone and groan again. It's 6:45... what the?

I get up and open my door grumpily but when I see my mom, I wake up for good.

"Good morning sweetie, I thought we could go jogging together, like old times." Mother says and my smile reaches my ears.

"Yes, mom, of course! Give me ten minutes to get ready!" I say and after nodding she leaves me. This made my day! I always loved running with mother. God, it's been so long.

Quickly I put clothes and my sneakers on, grab my phone and make my way downstairs where mother is waiting for me at the front door. We exchange wide smiles and leave the house.

We have been running for a while, not talking to each other, 'cause mother likes to focus, but I have my phone with me so I listen to my 'work out list'. This list has changed a lot since last September, being clearly influenced by Robin, so when a song she likes to hear when working up comes next, I smile and run past my mother, not really focusing on the scenery. I never thought a song like 'radioactive' would be to my liking, but it has stuck in my head ever since Robin used it that one time when we went jogging together.

We stop at a hill and take a picture of the morning sky. I filter it like Robin has showed me and then I send it to her. This will make her day, I think and smile staring at my screen saver. If someone takes my phone, all they will see is a sunrise into the woods, but for Ro and I, it's the first picture I took on our first date. I couldn't use a more revealing picture like Ro, who has my face as her screensaver, but something that holds a great significance and a little more cryptic, so this picture is ideal.

"There is that smile again." My mother states, but her voice is weird. Not playful like last night at the table.

"Um... it's nothing, mom. I just texted a picture of the sky to a friend." I say because I can't use Joss' name again.

"Hmm... you have been smiling a lot. It's an observation." She says again and I feel like I am being examined thoroughly. I don't feel comfortable.

"It's... it's nothing, mom. Can we continue?" I say and turn around messily to avoid her gaze. I put the earbds back in and start jogging away from my mother.

I reach the house first and run past the kitchen, where everyone is having breakfast, and go straight to the bathroom. I take my clothes off like their fabric burns my skins and get in the shower. I don't know why I panicked. My mother's stare made me uncomfortable but I don't know why.

I made it to breakfast but everyone else had already eaten, so mother and I were the only ones with plates, while Ben was playing a game on his Gameboy, grandpa was reading the morning paper, and grandma was talking about NY and her real-estate business. I look up though and I see mother looking at me with the same weird look on her face and my appetite is long gone. I push the plate and get up saying I have a migraine when everyone is staring at me. I go to my room and lay down, not expecting to fall asleep.

The door opens this time, but it is Ben that wakes me up again at 11:23. My grandparents are about to leave, Ben says, and I get up, fix myself, and follow him. After two tight hugs and a white envelope for both me and ben, they leave us. As per usual, there is a 500 dollars check for Ben and I to split in half, but money means nothing to me. I was just happy I got to see them again.

I turn around and head to my bedroom again, with Ben tagging alone. We lay in bed in silence, looking at my plain white ceiling. The headache I faked I had before, is actually here now, and my head is pounding. Ben hugs me putting his little arm around my waist and I bring my hand in his head that now lies on my shoulder. My phone rings from under my covers, and I now remember I was holding it when I fell asleep the second time. I maneuver my body with Ben giggling, and unlock the phone. Text message from Robin.

From babe: morning, love of my life: P what's ya doing?

Despite the headache, her words manage to make me smile again.

"Hey Ben, let's take a photo for Robin. She texted me good morning." I say and Ben sits up excited. I make him lay with his back on my front and we both take a duck face pose for Robin.

From babe: hahaha, love the duckface, but love you more. I can't wait for you to be here tomorrow. Everything will be fine, babe. I feel it.

I felt it too so far, but today after my weird encounter with my mother, my happy vibes are gone. But a plan is a plan.

When mother calls us for lunch, both Ben and I jump and race to the kitchen like starving wolves. I used to do that when I was a kid but mother scolded me for racing in the house, but after I dared Ben to run faster than me to the kitchen one day, she didn't scold us. She shook her head and told us to be careful. We have been doing that ever since.

Mother made my favorite. She said that she wanted to make it for me since it's been a while she cooked it and my happy vibes return again. She seems calm and smiles at me from time to time, so everything is good.

Once finished, Ben leaves the table, I put the dishes in the sink and grab a water bottle from the fridge. Mother and dad though are still seated. I look at them confused; my mother speaks soon after that.

"Sweetie, can you join us to the study room?" she says and I look at dad instead of her. He is avoiding my gaze. What is this?

I nod slowly and just like this was what they were waiting for, they get up and we walk to the next room. It was supposed to be dad's room, which explains why there is a couch and a TV in it, along with his huge book collection, but mother uses it more often than him those few last years. I follow them as I sit on the couch while mother is standing still and dad grabs his desk chair and sits in front of me, looking sad. What is going on?

"Am I in trouble?" I hear myself ask confused. Dad is looking at mother and then back at me and I look at them both. Mother is the one that leads this conversation, isn't she? Typical.

"Your father and I don't think you should be staying with Joss anymore. We will rent you an apartment for next year." Mom says and I can't make out the tone behind her voice.

"What?" is all I manage to say.

"We don't think it is wise for you to stay together since you are dating." What the fuck?

"Mom, I just told you that Joss and I are not dating! Stop with this nonsense!" My voice gets higher in defense. What a fucking mess!

"Sophie, I have been noticing things lately and you know you can't fool me. I know when you are lying!" Her voice gets higher as well.

"Mom, I swear to God, I am not with Joss! He is my best friend, you know that! I don't see him like that! He is like my brother. There is no reason for you to get me another apartment. We are friends!" I say again more aggressively this time so that I can make it clearer.

"What about yesterday at the dinner? What was that?" she crosses her hands around her chest raising her eyebrow, which means there is no way in fooling her into believing the smile was nothing, so there is only one thing to do.

"I lied about texting Joss, ok? I was texting someone else!" her posture changes at that but she is still tensed.

"Are you seeing that someone?" she asks.

"Becca, please, this is none of our business." Now is the time dad interferes.

"Of course it is our business, Nic. She has to stay focused on her studies. What if something happens and she gets pregnant, huh? Her whole life will change, and that is our business. She can't ruin her life like that. I am only looking out for her." My ears are ringing and my heartbeat is so loud I wonder if they can hear it too. What is going on? Why is she like this? When did my hands start shaking?

They are both ignoring me as they talk to each other. Mom's hands are crossed on her chest again while dad's posture is less aggressive. He is moving his arms like I have seen him do in the courtroom so many times before and I wonder if he is in my defense. Their voices get higher, something that had never happened before, but I know they are fighting, and I am the reason why. I feel tears on my cheeks and hide my face in my hands but the voices don't stop. I need them to. I can't deal with them, they are suffocating me.

"Stop!" I plead. "Just stop! Mother, you don't have to worry about me ruining my future." I say and get up. I am panting and I can feel my nails tear the skin of my palm as I clench my fist hard. I am not ruining my life, she doesn't have to worry, they don't have to fight!

"Sophie, honey, it's ok." Dad reaches my side like Joss always does, and he puts his hands on my shoulder but I don't think I can stop.

"No, dad." I escape from his arms and look directly at her. "She needs to know." I say trebling. I can't have her worried. I am following her plan. I will succeed like she wants me to. No one is ruining that.

I reach her and my hands find her forearms. "You don't have to worry, mom, I am focused, ok? Nothing and no one will change that. I will make you proud, like I promised. There is no boy, ok? I won't make a mistake that will stop me from my dream, I swear..." Just say it, Soph, say it. Do it. "But I do love someone." I whisper looking into her confused eyes.

I change my posture, straightening my back as I feel dad next to me again. This is it, moment of truth. I close my eyes.

"Mom, I love Robin." I release the breath I have been holding and I wipe the tears that reached my cheek. When I open my eyes, I look at my dad first. His hand is on my back and his eyes are the same eyes I stared into since I was a child. His look is a look I know and love. Full understanding and support, the same look he gave me when I was drawing, when I would eat ice cream with him and when we would watch movies on those Sunday afternoons. His eyes are the same, like I am the same. But then again, it was not dad I was worried about. He could never let me down.

Then I turn to my mother, waiting to see the same loving eyes, but her eyes are looking at me like I am a stranger. My eyes water. I blink a few times waiting for her to do something, say something, but she just stays there.

"Mom?" Why won't she say something? I am about to call her name again but she moves, but not to reach for my arm or my cheek as a loving mother would do. No.

She shakes her head twice and then looks at me.

"This conversation never happened. Go to your room, please." Dad left my side to get to hers.

"Mom... did you not hea-" I try but she raises her hand.

"I heard you. Now go to your room. We won't speak of it again." She says coldly.

"Becca, please." Dad tries this time but he gets the same treatment.

"Sophie is still a kid; she doesn't know what she is talking about." I hear her say. That seems to make him a bit agitated, but nothing comes. Not in my defense.

It's funny how you wish for things to be a certain way but end up getting the exact opposite, isn't it?

If my world hadn't crumpled to the ground I would have surely laughed, but at the moment I feel numb and my chest aches. I give them one final look with tears streaming down my cheeks as I move a step back away from them. When they don't make a move to stop me, I leave the room running and get to my bedroom. I get my clothes and put them on my duffle bag, grab my phone, my backpack and leave the room.

I get to Ben's room and find him making a puzzle on the floor, unaware of what has happened. His eyes lighten up when he sees me, but then his eyes fall to my bags and his eyebrows narrow in confusion. I drop my bags and kneel on the floor cupping his cheeks as I will myself not to cry.

"I have to go, ok? I am sorry, I will see you soon." I kiss his forehead. I hug him next and his head is resting on my shoulder with his tiny ears next to my cheek, and I feel the need to reassure him. "I love you Benjie, I will always love you and accept you no matter what. I want you to remember that, ok? Nothing will change my love for you. I will always be your sister and I will always be proud of you, as long as you are happy." I say and look at the ceiling to stop the tears. His hands around my neck squeeze me tighter and his small voice reaches my ears.

"I love you too, Soso. You are the best sister in the whole world." I get up abruptly so that he can't see that I am crying and grab my bags quickly, and mumbling a soft 'goodbye', I leave his room, run downstairs, open the front door and leave this house.

Robin's POV

"I am hungry. Are you?" My uncle asks me from his spot on the couch.

"You ate like 2 hours ago. How can you be hungry?" I joke, because I am a bit hungry myself. Pasta was not enough. Maybe we should have ordered pizza for lunch.

"I know, kid, but I am a grown up, my stomach needs more." He hits my shoulder with the tv remote.

"Excuses." I say and look at my phone again, at the picture Soph sent me earlier. So pretty. I am so freaking lucky to have her. And now, that we can love each other in the light, I couldn't be happier. I have a good feeling about this. I know Soph was worried about her mother, but she said that their relationship has been at its best since Christmas. She is more loving and more lenient when it comes to college, and Soph has been happier and more relaxed when it comes to her mom.

Apparently Soph feels like she is making her proud of her, even though I told her that her mom would be proud of her no matter what. From what I know, heard and seen, Rebecca doesn't strike me as a momster. She was very polite with me, and very loving with Soph and Ben, so I am pretty much certain that Sophie is the one that put so much pressure on herself without realizing it. I told her that all parents want their kids to succeed and sometimes they make mistakes along the way, but there is no doubt in my mind that she loves her daughter.

I also know that Nicolas is the supportive and loving father, so I am sure he is going to take the news well. I figured Sophie is his weak spot, so there is no chance he isn't gonna be supportive. I don't think Rebecca will react to it bad either. She a well-educated woman, that holds the reins in the house, open-minded and well-travelled, so she will be understanding.

Even though I have heard a thousand of stories from kids that run from home for being gay, I can help but believe that Soph's situation will not a bad one. Sure, they may need time to accept their daughter will not marry some fancy republican boy, but a blonde liberalist with photography skills, but I make Sophie happy and they will realize that. I am not expecting them to like invite me home next week for dinner or anything, that wouldn't be impossible, but I don't expect from them to kick Sophie out of the house either. They will process the information and then step by step they will fully digest the fact that their daughter loves me, and that it is ok for her to do so. This isn't the 60s and we are not mentally ill or the spawn of devil. We deserve to love and be loved.

"So, tomorrow is the day, huh? How is that cute nervous rack of yours?" Alex turns down the volume and turns to face me. I copy his motion and we now face each other. I told him a few days back of what is to come and he was really excited as well.

"She is ok so far, says everyone is happy at the house, and the atmosphere is positive. Her mom has been extra loving and caring which is a plus." I reply.

"Good, good, that is great. I hope everything works out." He says.

"How did you feel when I told you? I mean, I know you were cool with it but some thoughts might have crossed your mind, right?" I try to get his perspective on this.

"Listen, kid, everyone reacts differently. I love you and want you to be happy that's why I am ok with it. Did I feel disappointed? No... did I feel worried about you? Yes, I did, because kid, your life could have been a mess. You could have been bullied physically or be depressed and isolated. There is no doubt every parent loves their child, but the thought of them being hurt scares them, kid. It's easier to have a straight kid than a queer one. I just hope Sophie's parents see that their daughter won't face anything alone. She has you, your friends, me, we are all going to be there for her if needed. They won't have to be afraid, and I am sure that given that they love their daughter and want her to be happy, they will accept it sooner or later. I just want you to be prepared for anything. People's hearts act in mysterious ways." He pats my shoulder reassuringly.

"You are a cool cucumber, old man." I peck his cheek. "Now, turn on the volume, the Kardashians are on." I focus on the tv.

***************

Ten minutes go by when my phone vibrates next to me.

'Babe' is calling.

"Hey baby, how come you are calling?" I say because it is a rule not to call Sophie while she is home after the Ben-sitting incident, in case someone picks up on something.

There's nothing on the other line. Complete silence for seconds, until I can make out a few sounds. Car sounds... and then a sniffle.

"Sophie? Hello?" The sniffle sounds get louder and then I can most definitely hear a honk. That alerts me.

"Sophie, where are you? Sophie, answer me!" My voice gets higher as I get more confused and anxious at the same time.

"Ro..." her voice is a whisper. I can tell she is crying.

"Sophie, baby what happened? Are you ok?" Alex sits up straight as well, and looks at me worried too.

"Ro...I t-.....told...h-...her." She manages to say and my heart sinks. This isn't the reaction I was waiting for. Fuck.

"Baby, please calm down." I instruct her but I doubt she will listen to me. Then another honk is heard and my mind is in a panic mode. "Sophie, are you in your car? Are you driving?" I get up and pace the room. She can't be driving like this.

"I...am...co-..coming..ho-me." I hear her voice tremble again.

"Sophie, stop the fucking car! Now!" I yell aggressively, but regret it in a second. I take a deep breath when I feel Alex's hand on my back, so I try again. "Baby, please stop the car, ok? It is not safe for you to drive like this... please baby, stop the car... I can't have you injured, ok?" I plead her with all I have. "Please pretty girl, you are making me worried." After that I hear the faint sound of breaks and then silence. She has stopped the car, thank Zeus.

"Ok." She says with a broken voice. What the hell happened?

"Baby, where are you?" I ask and Alex has his google drive app ready on his phone. We think alike. I take the phone in my hands as I put in the data Sophie gives me. She is only an hour and a half away from here, which means she has been driving like that for another hour and a half. God damn it, Sophie!

Alex and I exchange a silent look and a nod, before I turn my attention to her.

"Baby, don't move the car, ok? Alex and I are coming to get you. We will be there as fast as possible." I say calmly as I get in the hallway and put my shoes on, Alex right behind me.

"No, Ro it's ok. Please don't." She says desperate. "I will be fine."

"No, listen to me!" I yell again and clench my fist. Stop being a fucking asshole, Robin!

I hear her sob again and I kick the wall from anger. I take a deep breath to calm down again, willing for my voice to be calmer.

"Baby, I am sorry, ok? I am not mad at you, I am only worried. Please don't drive, I am coming to get you, ok? I am already in the car." We march to the parked car and get in. "Please Sophie, just stay there, and wait for me... I can't lose you too." I say and close my eyes sighing. The engine coming to life makes me focus again, and I buckle up with one hand while the other clenches the phone, waiting for Sophie.

"You won't lose me." I relax at her words. "I will be waiting. Please come quick."

"I will, baby, lock the car and wait for me. Why don't you put on some music? My usb is in the passenger's cabinet." I tell her to distract her a bit.

"Ok, I found it." Thank God I left it there after the spring break. She would complain about my music taste, but not now, which means she is really broken up. What the fuck did they do to my girl?

"Good, baby. Track 4 is my favorite. Listen to it first, it reminds me of you. I will call you again in a while to check on you. Is that ok?" I ask as we are 8 minutes already en route.

"Ok." She murmurs.

"Sophie..." I call out looking outside the window. "I love you, ok? I love you." I hope this makes her feel a bit better.

"Me too." She says and ends the call. I put the phone on my lap as we reach the city limit and cross them.

"Don't worry kid, she will be ok. Calm down, take a few breaths." His hand reaches mine and squeezes it. I wipe the tears but I keep staring outside.

I called her again 45 minutes later. We have been violating the speed limit this whole time but Alex knows the situation I am in, so he is driving as fast as possible. We should be there in 20 minutes tops. She sounded less emotional and calmer but I can't stop worrying.

Finally I make out her Mini Cooper. We stop our car and as soon as the engine dies, I get out slamming the door behind me. I wait for the passing cars to drive past me, so that I can get across the road to her, when I see her get out of the car as well. Fuck this, I'm doing it.

I can't stand there and wait for the cars to let me pass. All I care about is reaching Soph who is now leaning on the driver's seat, defeated and a crying mess. I hear honks and Alex call my name but I keep walking, even though I know I am being reckless.

The moment my feet left the road and stepped on the dirt, meters away from her, she runs into my arms, crashing my bones. She is shaking, I can tell. I squeeze her waist tighter and patiently wait for her to speak to me. I only kiss the crown of her head and then wait.

We spent some time standing there in each other's arms when she moves her body slightly. Her head is resting on my shoulder more comfortably as I start caressing the small of her back, but after a while she raises her head off my shoulder and looks at me with watery bright green eyes, and the sight kills me.

"Baby, what happened?" I timidly ask and tuck a curl behind her cute ear. She looks at me swallowing hard and I bring our foreheads together to reassure her. Her irregular breathing hits my lips.

"She... she hates me." is all she says before she sobs again and I hug her again. "I told her... and .... and she said... I don't know what I am talking about... that I am a kid... she pretended the words never left my mouth." She says, in between sobs. "She hates me." She repeats and loses it again. I try to hold on to her, but in her state her feet can't hold her, so she collapses, taking me to the ground with her. I sit next to her with our backs on the car door, whilst she hides her face on her knees and cries her eyes out. I just sit next to her with my hand on her back, and looking ahead, struggling to stay strong for her. Alex is still across the road leaning on our car, respecting our intimate moment, but I plead him with my eyes to come and help me, 'cause I don't know how to help her. I have consulted a number of kids at the youth center, but I can't seem to be able to help my girl. My mind is stuck, and I can't make her stop crying.

Alex is making his way towards us slowly. He sits in front of Sophie and touches her forearms gently.

"Sophie, I know it may be hard, but I need you to look at me. Can you do that?" He asks calmly. She nods her head and then raises it up to look at him.

"Good, thank you." He smiles and Sophie wipes her tears again. "I am thinking about ordering pizza for dinner, what do you think? Robin wants burgers but I told her pizza is healthier." He says throwing me and Sophie off with his question. I know what he is doing. Sophie is looking at him confused at first but surprisingly she speaks.

"Pizza is healthier. It has less cholesterol." She says sure of her knowledge. Then she looks at me "but burger has more protein and fewer calories." I nod my head still numb but I manage to give her a smile before she turns to Alex.

"See, told ya, kid, I have been feeding you pizza since you were 3 years old, and look how tall you got." He says and Sophie chuckles. He winks at me before he speaks to Sophie again. "How about you get up and drive home? Dinner on me tonight." He caresses Sophie's cheek carefully until Sophie nods. He gets up first and I follow, so that I can help Soph get up. Once she is on her feet, I hug her again and kiss her cheek. I help her to the passenger's seat and open the door for her, helping her get in, before I take the driver's seat. I start the car and put music on from my usb and then reach for her hand. She is the one that intertwines our fingers.

She doesn't cry during the drive and doesn't cry when we reach my home either, until she sees the numerous missed calls from her dad but not a single one from her mother. That made Sophie cry again in my arms on my bedroom floor.

I have been drawing patterns on her palm waiting for her to calm down, but it seems that 20 minutes of crying is not enough. Alex comes in my room letting me know that he is ordering pizza and leaves the room, with a sad smile at the sight of her crying again. I need to make her calm down and relax. I peck her forehead and free myself from her telling her I will be right back, and then I make my way to my bathroom. I find what I can, open the tap and stare at it as hot water starts filling the bathtub. I empty half the bottle of my mango shower gel to create bubbles as I have seen from tv and to make sure the scent is strong enough, since Sophie loves strong scents, and once the tub is filled above the middle, I leave the room and get to her. I find her curled up in my bed facing my wall, so I get in my bed and spoon her.

"Baby, let's take a bath before dinner, ok? Come on, baby." I say and we sit up together. She nods and we get up, with me leading her to my bathroom. She has shut down on me since Joss called, and hasn't said a word to me but she is cooperative enough. She is standing in front of the tub looking at it with me behind her, massaging her shoulders for a few minutes. After that, I tie her hair in a bun, and one by one I help her take her clothes off, peppering kisses all over her back as I do. I assist her get in the water while I kneel next to the tub with a sponge in my hands. I clean her up and then massage her palms in silence till the water gets cold and Alex calls for dinner. I dress her up with my clothes and holding hands I drag her to the kitchen. She doesn't eat much, nor says anything either, but I am glad she ate something at least and that she will be safe in my arms. Tomorrow we can deal with it, tonight we need to calm down and rest. She needs it.

A/N: This was a big chapter for Sophie and we can't help but feel for her. To every person out there who might be dealing with similar situations, always keep in mind ; no matter the response, be true to yourselves. Be you and be happy. Merry Christmas to everyone who's celebrating! xx