Notes:

Additional Cast:

Nicole Muñoz as Sonia

Sophie's POV

Monday after the hickie

I don't even remember how I got home after class ended.

I remember murmuring a faint 'bye' to a puzzled Ro, and driving as fast as possible to our apartment. Now I am sitting on the floor behind my closed bedroom door, freaking out.

I may not be the most experienced person, when it comes to all things emotional, but one thing is utterly true and terrifying. The feeling I experienced a few hours ago, is something I have never felt in this majorly boring existence, which is a huge deal, because it scares me to death the variety of things it could possibly mean and its consequences.

Since it is something new to me, I know, I am sure, that what I felt for Robin cannot be purely friendly. It simply can't. In comparison to Joss and maybe now, Vanessa, I can't think of myself getting jealous to that point at the thought of them with other people. Like I said, I am accustomed to sharing Joss and having girls craving his attention and I have never felt mad or jealous...plus Vanessa who is now a friend will end up with someone and the specific thought doesn't sadden me at all. So why does it hurt to think of Robin like that?

This thing with Robin is not jealousy over losing my friend...no.

I know my initial reaction to the hickey was to proclaim that it could be attraction, but now I think I should think this through. Do I like her? Like sexually, dare I say? Is this physical attraction?

I have to admit Robin IS a very beautiful girl...angelic, almost. Even the straightest of girls can see that, and I am not an exception. Objectively, Ro is a very attractive person, quirky, sassy and dorkish.

Does this count as physical attraction? I mean, I haven't caught myself looking at her body, I never do that with anyone...I am most certain I haven't seen her like that. I know Joss's look when looking at girls and I don't have it. I would have known, right?

I can't help but think the emotional part though. I cannot overlook the fact that simply being around her, is calming and pretty easy. I don't feel that awkward and I am slowly coming out of the comfort zone, Joss has been dying to see me out of. Truth be told, I haven't felt that comfortable with anyone before and this means something. It cannot be unimportant.

So, if emotionally I feel a connection, but physically haven't noticed anything.....what is it? But...what if I do pay close attention to her? What if my mind has shut off those thoughts? Is that possible?

Maybe it is an innocent infatuation? I mean, I kind of admire her, so maybe this is an innocent crush? If I can call it a crush.

Maybe I have idolized her; like people do with actors and singers or something....because....I cannot be gay. It is not possible, not because I have a problem with that. No! I just always thought I felt no attraction towards people...like I'm this cold hearted person that just can't like anyone romantically, or I am too much of a snob to be attracted to someone. I have been content with the idea of me ending up alone, so I cannot get into that. I cannot like Robin. She is just a friend. No different from Vanessa who I share a new bond with. I am just excited over her because she was willing to get to know me and knows how not to make me uncomfortable, and the idea of getting close to someone other than Joss is exciting. I feel at ease with her but other than that, she means nothing to me. She can't. She is noone to me.

At this, I make a decision to stop being around her. This ends here.

Friday

From Ro: Hey, wanna hang out? Haven't seen ya since Monday. School taught?

This is the forth text she has sent since Monday. I have been going to my classes those days and burying myself in the library away from people, or here in my room...so pretty much I am avoiding her. Which also means on social media.

Just like the previous three texts, this goes unanswered as well, and the guilt is tenfold.

These 3 days have taken a toll on me. I have been a person to have known loneliness and isolation, and generally the feeling of not being overly happy, but normally content with life, but these days have been more than horrible and I am starting to think that being away from Robin was a mistake.

I miss her and the importance of this empty feeling in my guts only adds up to the conclusion I am unwilling to give to myself.

I open my google app on my phone and reassume doing my research on this. I have been reading article after article about homosexuality, trying to make sense of it somehow I guess, because in true Sophie fashion, I have to know everything before I come to a conclusion. I need to make sense if the feelings I experience for Robin are what I think they are, or better yet, hope they are not, because it changes everything I thought of myself. If this is the case, and this is what I think it is, I will have to also figure out what to do and I am not ready to confront that yet, so first I do research.

I never thought of homosexuality as something you just chose to do in life, and after everything I have read I think now more than ever that it is a part of who you are. So I can't help but think that maybe this explains me all these years..... how I never cared about boys or being with anyone in general....maybe this makes it less difficult to try and comprehend my actions instead of blaming myself for being simply difficult or cold hearted or even emotionally dead. Maybe this is why I was me all this time.

Video after video about coming out stories and realization moments, all these people had one thing in common: they felt something was off with them until they found someone that make them finally get it...the resemblance is obvious, isn't it?

Is Robin this person for me?

Saturday

From Ro: Hey, what up? I am starting to worry here. Are you ok?

Robin is this person for me. It is clear now. Realization hit hard last night.

To Ro: I am ok. Busy with school.

From Ro: hey! Hello there stranger! Geez, I thought you were dead or something! Wanna hang out? We can grab a coffee or go to the movies?

No, I don't want to hang out.

To Ro: I cannot. I am sorry, maybe some other time.

From Ro: sure thing :( hey, my bd is coming up next week and I am hosting a small party. Your highness is invited. Actually your presence is required. :p

My initial thought is to decline right away..but my resistance is fluttered. It is her birthday, how can I not go when everyone will be there? But at the same time, how can I go? Now that I am certain of this mess, how can I cut loose?

To Ro: I will see what I can do. Have to study. Ttyl.

From Ro:  :( : ( : ( ......nighty night. See ya on Monday.

I am well aware my texts have been unfair and cold.

I have other texts as well.

From Vanessa: Hi, Sophie! How are you? I haven't seen you for five days now and Joss is kind of worried about you. I hope everything is alright. If it is not, I am here for you. Well, even if everything is okay, I am here for you as well. When you have time, text me back. I am kind of worried too. Good night! Xoxo.

To Vanessa: thank you, I appreciate it. I am going through something but I will be ok. You don't have to worry. Goodnight.

By Saturday night, I break.

I was boringly staring at my ceiling, my mind overloaded with everything I have been holding in these past days, so the moment I finally managed to stop thinking for a second, I broke down.

I have a crush on her. I am not straight.

I had to be honest and objective these days. I thought of it, I thought of her, and there is no point hiding around a bush. The mere thought of her gave me a mixed feeling in my stomach...sadness and excitement at the same time...and when I had the courage to think of her and me together, I involuntarily smiled and felt the so called butterflies in my stomach....so this is it.

I can't help the tears that keep running down my cheeks and honestly there is no point in trying to stop them. My body needs to react and I can't hold it in forever, so I let myself have this meltdown.

It lasted one and a half hours, till I was too tired of it and passed out from exhaustion, but even in my sleep my mind went overboard and nightmares of my mother mad at me, disappointed in me or people talking behind my back, made me wake up a few times during the night. I wake up at the crack of dawn startled by a vivid dream and the sobbing continued.

Sunday

I am listening to music, an hour after lunch when Joss knocks on my door with force...justifiably. He hasn't seen me much since Monday given the fact that, the time he comes home I go to my room, throwing a 'I got to study' in his face. He knows me so well, so I am certain he is taking action here.

Joseph's POV

It's been a week now, since Sophie is closed in her room day and night. We haven't talked a lot like we usually do. The only things she has told me are stuff like we're out of milk or if I need anything from the supermarket. Other than that she avoids me in daily basis.

At first I thought she was a bit moody or at her time of the month, but I started worrying seriously when I did things that in a normal day would get her goat.

The first sign was when I hadn't washed the dishes for three days. Sophie got out of her room and went to the kitchen for a glass of water while I was watching TV. I was expecting the beginning of the WWIII, but nothing happened. She just locked up in her room again with a zombie expression on her face.

The second instance was when I put the music really loud. When I do that Sophie opens my room's door, with such strength that I wonder how it's still at its place. This time nothing happened. No door opened, no threatenings, nothing.

The third time was when I spent a night like usual with a chick. In the morning she was wandering around in her underwear and she ran into Sophie, who had just waken up. Soph didn't throw her one single glare. She just passed over her and then went back to her bedroom. That happened like two days ago, and that's when I realised that something serious must have happened.

I tried to talk to her, but it was like fighting a lost battle. She was insisting that she was fine and then back to her room. I started to think that it has something to do with Robin. She hasn't shown her face around anymore and they were joined at the hip. She called me a couple of times asking me what happened to Soph. She sounded really sad and I couldn't give her a clear answer either.

Vanessa had no idea either. She texted me like 15 minutes ago, that she's coming here to talk to her. They texted a couple of messages and Soph said she wasn't ok and that got Ness worried.Me and Vanessa decided to lure her out of the room, by the excuse of a movie night. I hope we can figure out what's going on, because this strange behaviour has gone far enough and I can't see her like that.

I stand up going to knock on Sophie's door, which has been locked 24/7 this last week.

"Hey sis! Get dressed! Ness is coming for a visit." I shout, knocking.

"I am not in the mood!" I hear through the door.

"Ok, but the house is a mess and I don't mind leaving it that way. I think Vanessa will understand and not gossip you around." I say, knowing this is a weak spot.

"Hey, get your ass and clean the house if we have a guest over, you know the rule!" she says louder. "I swear to God, if she finds this place a mess I will cut your bangs in your sleep!"

"Not a chance! I am not the one who minds it. You are! Get out and do it yourself!" I shout out of her door, hoping my bait will lure her out.

"No way in hell! I have been in my room, you made the house a mess!" she shouts back...but then. "Arhhhhhhh, you know what, I'll do it! You are useless!" she says and unlocks the door, opening it abruptly. She gets out and looks at the place. "This is kinda clean." she says and turns confused to look at me.

The moment she's out I take the key, closing the door quickly and lock it again. I hold the key tight as she's now trying to retrieve it, hitting my forearm.

"What the?" she exclaims. "You idiot, give me the key! This is my room! My dad is paying for it, and it's my private zone! I will sue you!" she tries to get the keys jumping.

"No fucking way!" I say. "If you really want the key..." I put it inside my jeans' pocket. "Come and get it." And I go sitting on the sofa, like nothing happened with a victorious smirk. She follows me angrily. She stands in front of me with crossed arms.

"I would definitely get my hand in there any given day, but I am out of bleach, so give me the keys or I'll fight you. And you have never seen me fight. I am fierce."

"Calm down kitty cat! You will ruin your manicure." I sneer at her. "Also, you saw one documentary on martial arts once and you think you can fight? Jesus!" I remark, giving her an ironic glance.

"It was very educational, if you must know! Anyway, give me the key!" she demands again.

"Shut up about the key already! You are not taking it back and that's final!" I tell her in a commanding voice. "Vanessa is coming for a visit. Don't you want to see her? She misses you and she's worrying sick." I say in a soft voice.

"Joss, I told you I am not in the mood, can you please, please let me go back to my room? Just this once? Please?" she pleads defeated.

"3 pleases in one sentence. Something's really off." I tell her in a suspicious voice.

Suddenly the door phone rings.

"Vanessa's here!" I announce,going for it. "You're stuck with us!" Sophie eyerolls, but I don't give a shit.

Then the bell rings and I am going to open the door. A smiley Vanessa is behind it, holding a chocolate cake.

"Hi, Joss! How are things going?" She asks me anxiously.

"Hey Ness! Good! Come in! Make yourself comfortable." I greet her with a wide smile.

"Hello, Sophie!" She beams at her as she steps in. "I brought chocolate cake!"

"Hello, Vanessa, welcome to our home. I didn't have the time to clean the place, I was just informed of your visit." she says shrugging.

"I hope it's not a bad time. I just haven't seen you in a while and I thought it would be fun to hang out. Here, Joss, it doesn't need to be placed in the fridge." She hands me the box with the cake.

"Not a bad time at all! Sit! Great! We didn't have a dessert!"I exclaim. "Thank God it's still alive! I am sure Alice would have devoured it." I point out, remembering how she was eating her chocolate pie at the cafeteria. It was entertaining to watch. I haven't seen another girl eating like that. It was quite amusing.

"That would so happen if I haven't bought it just minutes ago!" She giggles. "It's seems to me you know Alice pretty well, Joss!"

"I've observed some things, that's all." I say, trying to sound indifferent as I am putting the cake on the living room table.

"Your place is really great guys!" Vanessa praises our apartment after taking a turn. "The decoration is great, I am guessing I have to congratulate Sophie for that." She approaches Sophie and squeezes her arm gently.

"I've been living here before Soph!" I chime in, trying to sound offended.

"Yeah, of course! But still you see clearly a woman's touch around." Vanessa remarks and I move my head in annoyance.

"Anyway, what movie do you want?" I ask the girls.

"Movie?" Vanessa asks puzzled. "Oh, yes, movie! Um, what would you like to watch, Sophie?"

"Whatever you guys want. I am not in the mood anyway." she says and sits sighing on the couch.

"Okay, maybe a comedy to cheer you up? What do you suggest Joseph?" Vanessa asks me and sits next to Sophie.

"Yeah! I think it's fine!Let's see what's on Netflix." I say and I take the remote to choose a movie from the comedy list. Then Vanessa proposes one, which caught her eye and I click on it to start playing.

After two hours the movie ends and the credits are rolling with the usual catching song.

"I love it when a movie knows how to combine a good laugh with an interesting love story! They did get together in the end, despite all this craziness they just couldn't stay away from each other! I give it an 8, it was funny and the romantic element was on point. I am a sucker for happy endings! Love has to conquer it all! Don't you agree, Sophie?" Vanessa comments enthusiastically after the movie ends and I am about to throw up.

I wonder how girls are into these kind of cheesy crap. It's so fucking stupid. If I was ever to have a girlfriend and I emphasize ever I would like her to be into action movies with guns and fights(I don't even have to mention Star Wars). I pity the guys that have to endure an idiotic romantic drama, for the sake of their girlfriends.

Then I turn to look at Sophie, waiting for her answer and- What the hell? She's sobbing silently grabbing the couch pillow tight.

"Soph, what's going on? Why are you crying?" I ask her really worried. We saw a comedy, so there's no reason for her to cry.

"Oh my God, Sophie? Are those happy tears maybe? Nothing bad happened in the movie." Vanessa pats Sophie's back and looks at me worried.

Sophie keeps crying and she's not answering. Her sobbing becomes more intense and gives its place to bawling. What the fuck is wrong?

"Soph, what's happening? Please tell me! I don't know what to do!" I ask her in a serious voice, holding her hand really anxious. I have never seen Sophie like this.

"It's okay, you can tell us. We are here to help you get through whatever it is that is upsetting you so much." Vanessa encourages her to speak.

Finally after a heavy moment of silence, Sophie lets go of the pillow and looks at me and then at Vanessa. She takes a deep breath and then.

"I think...........I know..I like...Robin." she says and hides her face in her hands.

"You what?" I ask astonished. "Can you repeat it one more time?" I am sure I didn't hear well. Sophie likes someone? And That someone is Robin? I guess she didn't say that.

"She said she likes Robin, Joss." Okay so Vanessa heard that too. "Are you sure, Soph?" She asks her softly. Sophie just nods her head once, and then twice.

"That is really great!" Vanessa gives her a warm smile. Sophie removes her hands and looks at her.

"It is? I just told you I like Robin, who happens to be a girl." She asks, nervously.

"Robin is a lovely girl, I see nothing wrong with that." Vanessa frowns.

"Robin is hot! I can't see a reason why not to like her." I say to her, grinning.

She turns to me. "Joss that means I am not straight." She says surprised by my reaction.

"So? I don't see a problem with that!" I answer, because her argument is invalid. "Be proud of who you are, little sis! There's nothing to be ashamed of!" I wink at her giving her a warm smile.

"I totally agree with Joseph! It is so wonderful that you are feeling this way about someone, why does it matter if this someone is a girl?" Vanessa shrugs.

"So, you don't mind? That I like Robin? That's not what I was expecting." She says sniffling and wiping off her tears.

"Not at all. Soph, you are still my little sister. You're the same to me!" I assure her, giving her a warm look. Her face's expressions relax and she starts feeling a bit relieved.

"Joss.... What about mom and dad?" She whispers.

"If they love you they will accept you! You're their intelligent daughter." I try to calm her about that subject, though I know it will be a tough one. She doesn't need this right now.

"Of course they will! Every parent loves their child unconditionally and that's what unconditional love is about. Accepting the other the way they are." Vanessa beams at her.

Sophie relaxes a bit after that. It's obvious her mom is who she is worried about. I know how Sophie thinks. "So ...what do I do? I cannot tell Robin, right?"

"Of course you can and you will! We are the predators! My motto is: you see a chick you like, you go after her, no matter what. If she likes you, good, if she doesn't, you move on to the next one!" I transfer her my knowledge as the proud big brother. She's still a rookie, but she will learn from the best in the field.

"That's what you do?" Vanessa lifts her eyebrows impressed. "Well, it has some sort of logic, you certainly can't pin over someone who is not interested. I think you should go for it as well, Sophie! You have to let her know because there is a slight chance she has no idea about your feelings. Has she given you any signs that she likes you too?"

"Ummm..not that I know off. I mean, Robin...she could never like me! She had a hickie on her neck...I mean.....I don't think she sees me like that! I only know that she is nice to me, and conscious not to make me uncomfortable. But...that doesn't mean anything." She has already decided in her mind that this is the way it is.

"What's not to like? Maybe you get obsessed over cleanliness, but she will get used to it. I did." I say shrugging my shoulders.

"You cannot tell for sure. Robin is such a discreet person, she would never make a move to let you know she likes you. I guess you have to be the one to make that move. And on what concerns the hickie, really? Hmm, maybe that means you have to act asap, you know you like her, you shouldn't be wasting time." Vanessa gives her love advice.

Sophie thinks about it for a while. "I don't know...I will tell her, but not now...maybe after her party. But..... what if this blows up to my face? I can't lose her as a friend." She asks again.

"What if she feels the same and she is the one for you? That is a risk you should take. It might seem frightening but I think you should just follow your heart." Vanessa simply tells her.

"Just be brave! Take a breath and do it! Don't overthink it or overanalyzing it, like you women do! Your hard drive will crush in the end." I encourage her, because that's the way. Fear is holding you back and Sophie should learn not to let it intimidate her.

She sighs, and nods. "This isn't what I expected at all...I was scared to tell anyone....thank you for this." She looks at me and Vanessa.

"There was no reason to be scared of as you see!" Vanessa smiles at her.

"I think the chocolate cake is needed after this conversation. I can't stand all this drama." I joke so I can light the atmosphere.

I grab the cake and remove the package. I cut a slice with my hand and Sophie gives me a deathly glare. I eye roll and then I exhale, because I know I can't win this fight and she had a difficult time, so it'd be better to go easy on her for the rest of the night. Finally I bring small plates, forks and a knife and we end up devouring the whole cake.

Robin's POV

To Sonia: Hey. How are you? This is Robin.

I tried to keep the text as simple as possible. She might not even remember me. It's been more than a week since that night, so there's no guarantee she will remember my name.

I hate the fact that Sam is right. Unfortunately the Sophie situation was not a 24 hour thing. On the contrary, it's got worse....much, much worse. This isn't just a crush that will go away, but maybe not all is lost. I can occupy my mind with someone else. They do say that in order to move on from someone you have to get under someone else (or on top, in my case). Given the fact that Sonia was into me and we almost had sex in an ally, I think she is the safe choice here. I would have called Trish, but she is old flame, and quite frankly I feel nothing with her. Maybe Sonia will make it worth it.

As for Sophie, well, I haven't seen her nor talked to her since Monday, when she left the class like a hurricane, barely saying goodbye, and I can't help but miss her and at the same time wonder if I did something wrong. Maybe scarring her was a stupid move...but she didn't seem mad at me, but then what happened?

I have texted her a few times but the replies seemed off and not Sophie-like, plus the fact that she was not sure about coming to my birthday party, made me think I did something wrong. It also feels that way, and I can't shake it off.

I have been talking with Sam about it but she is giving me eye roll after eye roll, so I can't really express myself, but I do feel sad about Sophie not responding to my texts. How lame am I?

I am terribly lame, and not just because I have unfriendly feelings for Sophie, but also because I just texted a girl for a hook up. It is not my drill. I go to places, I spot them, I talk to them, tell them I am looking for something casual and then when they agree, I take them home and then make them breakfast in the morning. I know it is not ideal, but they know it's a one-time thing, maybe a twice kind of thing, but nothing more than that. So, me texting a girl I barely spoke to, and bluntly asking for a hookup, is not my drill. Desperate times call for desperate measures, I guess. I just want to stop feeling like this. I need to stop thinking about her, she is my friend and it will never happen.

I have been replaying those words too many times for my liking.

My phone vibrates and momentarily I hope it's from Sophie, but the name sparked mixed feelings.

From Sonia: of course I remember ;) I was waiting on your text, how are you?

Ok, she is started a convo, which means there's a high chance this is happening.

To Sonia: sorry for the wait, I was busy. Wanna catch up now? My place?

That's pretty forward, right? It gives her the idea.

From Sonia: sounds long overdue. You owe me a good night ;)

She is pretty forward as well, which is perfect. We are on the same page here.

I type my address and run to the bathroom to get ready and text Alex letting him know I will have someone over, which strikes as a weird thing to do, but it is a rule in the house. Whenever I want to have someone over I text him and he always lets me have the house to myself. He comes back early in the morning, around the time I usually wake up, and after awkward breakfasts with my company in the presence of my uncle, the girl leaves and Alex carries on with his day. I asked him once why he insists on being present for breakfast, but he jokes about wanting to see if my taste is good, but I think he has a reasonable answer for that. I think it's his way of making sure I am safe and the girl wasn't a psycho or something....his eyes always inspect me during said breakfasts.

His text was simple: got it kiddo, I'll be over at Kira's. See ya in the morning.

Sonia arrives an hour later, dressed scandalously sexy, with a leather jacket, high waist skinny jeans and a very short crop top, leaving very little to my imagination. I look at her and I do think she is a very attractive girl, quite sexy and provocative, but her eyes are also sweet and warm. She has a septum, which I always find hot as fuck, but my nose is kinda big for that ( I would not oppose to a nipple piercing though) and a small tattoo on her wrist. Plus points on sexiness.

Come to think of it, Sonia would be the kind of person I could fall for. Nat was like that, all badass attitude, oh hail the queen poise and black leather jackets. I guess bad girls are my thing. Point is, Sonia could be the one to help me get over Soph.... maybe she can make me feel something.

The greeting moment would have been awkward, given the fact that the girl was down on her knees a week ago, but she kept her cool and kissed me on the cheek, giving me a wink afterwards. I take her hand and after a small tour to the house, I take her to my room.

We stand in the middle of it, in complete silence but she thankfully breaks it.

"So.....now is the time when we take our clothes off, right?" she asks but doesn't wait for my answer, as she removes slowly her jacket, that falls on the floor. I gulp and nod as I come closer to her and help her take her crop off, and then her bra. Turns out Sonia has a nipple piercing which makes her boobs even more appealing, so my mouth meets them rather quickly and hungrily. Her jeans are next on the floor and then my clothes fall, one by one as she drags me to my bed.

Her hands are everywhere on me, touching me, but mine are numb and stuck on the mattress, frozen in place, just like my lips. She quickly pushes me on the mattress and gets on top of me straddling my thighs and her palms find my boobs, but when I do close my eyes, it's not her, that clouds my thoughts. Not her eyes I think of, and not her lips I wish I could kiss.

Suddenly I feel nauseous and desperate for air so I try to move under her. She stops her moves and gets off me as I sit on the edge of my bed, feeling guilt for being here with another girl, while my mind and heart is somewhere else, and guilt that I am doing this to Sophie, like I am cheating on her or something, which is completely crazy and fucking lame on my part.

Where have I gotten myself into?

It is utterly weird, sitting there, naked, having a silent breakdown, with a very hot girl next to you, trying to realize what went wrong. I would have fled if I were her, but she got up, put her clothes on, covered my body with my sheets and sat next to me. In another world maybe Sonia would have been enough.

"Can I get you anything?" She asks and her voice is laced with sympathy.

I sigh deep and turn to look at her. She deserves an explanation, doesn't she?

"No, I am good." I say and I look into her eyes. "I am sorry." I say next and she nods and I wonder if she gets it.

"This is the second time you blow me off, I am starting to worry I have lost my game." She jokes lightly and I chuckle faintly. Yup, she would have been enough, she would have been ideal.

"I am sorry, this isn't your fault." She laughs. She has heard of the line before I am sure. "I .......I want someone else." I tell her and wait for her to get up and leave, but she stays.

"Been down that road myself." She says and gets comfortable on my bed, moving behind me so that she is now leaning on the headboard. I copy her movement so now here we are, minutes ago ready to devour each other, now sitting up shoulder to shoulder with our backs against the headboard.

"I have feelings for my friend." I start not feeling awkward. On the contrary, it feels good to say it to someone other than Sam and Nicky. "She is straight." I say next.

"Ouch." She jokes and I laugh. "Typical lesbian cliché, there Robin. I thought you were cooler than that." She continues and I feel a little lighter. "Don't worry, we all have been there, it's perfectly normal for queer girls to fall for their friends." She says as a matter a fact. "You will get over it, I assure you."

"What if I don't?" I ask worriedly. I know myself and I can recognize all the things I feel about everything going on or about anyone I know, so for me, those feelings for Sophie are not something that will go away...not anytime soon, so I can't help but wonder....what if they never go away? What if I always want her and I am miserable next to her, watching her get married, and have a kids and a lovely house? What choice do I have then?

"Ok, chill. You are not even 20! You can't think that this girl is your everlasting love! You will meet a ton of people in your life, maybe someone out there, other than the girl, is your match. You can't possible know." she says and that is exactly what I would have said to anyone with the same problem as me. Life's a bitch like this sometimes.

"You know, in another life, you and I would be a great match." I state shrinking my shoulders.

"Maybe. Too bad you are in love with someone else. You can't always control your heart." Another thing I would have said.

"What do you think I should do?" I have to ask her, I mean she could possibly give me the answer I am afraid to give myself.

"Well, if you wanna risk things, say something....but I think you value her friendship way too much to risk it....so....forget about her....go searching someone else. There are endless possibilities out there. And if you find yourself unable to move on, then cut all communication. The more you see her the more you will want her. Out of sight out of mind." She is being cynic and I like it.

"I don't know, I think I will wait and see how it plays out." I reply and she nods. "What did you do?" I ask next.

"I met people. I saw it for was it was. Impossible and quite harmful for me, so I got out of the house and meet people, that slowly made me forget about it. Time heals all, girl. It's true what they say." She winks and gets up.

"It's rather late so I think I will go." She says and puts her shoes on. I also get up and put my clothes in silence while she is waiting for me sitting on my desk chair. Then an idea strikes me.

"Hey, I know this will sound crazy, and you have every right to say no, but my birthday is next week and I am throwing a party here, you are welcome to come by, if you are free." I say sincerely. She looks at me smirking but she nods.

"Sounds cool, I think I am free. Now.....just for the gossip of it and just because I have a theory going on in my head.....what's the girl's name?" She asks and she startles me.

"Um....her name is Sophie." I say. Her face lights up and her smirk is plastered on her face. What is going on?

"So you lied about being bad with names huh?" She says and it hits me. Shit, I just got busted!

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......guilty." I say grimacing. Damn she remembered me saying her name. Observant much? I swear to god she could be my fucking twin.

"No worries. You were freaking hot that night, so you are tots forgiven. Seriously girl, you have game." She winks and I shake my head.

I walked her to her car and after a not so awkward half hug, she drove away.

Maybe she was right. Time heals things. Time healed me before, so why not now?

Only this time, Sophie never hurt me and it seems quite difficult to forget something you've never had to begin with. It would all be way easier if Sophie had done something awful, or is she had let me down...but she hasn't, so how can I move on when nothing is pushing me away?

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