I sat at the kitchen table, watching Ben expertly flip yet another pancake.

"You're very good at that," I complimented. "Maybe you could teach me that too?"

"Sure, it's all in the wrist," he boasted, looking flattered. Yes, Ben was much happier lately. It almost didn't make sense, since everyone else was so miserable.

There was no form of entertainment here, save for a few books and dusty board-games that were stacked on a shelf in the basement cellar. Ben and I played those in the afternoon, safely in the cool darkness of the cellar, when the sun was at its hottest, because the Horned Shadow had warned me Ben would burn if exposed to it.

Of course I told Ben and everyone else about the shadow. I owed it to them to be as open and honest as possible, even if that meant that they avoided us like the plague. Kanoa was just coming around again, speaking to me, letting me know how everyone was feeling. Berit wasn't as skittish as before either, even letting me know his suspicions on where we were and updating me on Adrian's condition. 

Once Bluma found out that Berit was experienced enough in healthcare, she left him with instructions and a lot of home remedies. She came every now and then, once with a boat-full of groceries and supplies, but mostly to check on Adrian. She wouldn't speak to us unless necessary, and wouldn't answer any questions, saying she would wait for Adrian, whatever that meant. Justice attended to Zuri a lot, bringing up food to her room, checking in on her throughout the day.

The first time she had woken up was a nightmare. She had demanded to see a mirror, refused to listen to Justice and Kanoa's protests. When she finally stumbled into the bathroom past them and beheld her face, torn and scarred, she began to scream and scream and scream until she lost all energy and crumbled onto the floor in tight heaving sobs. The things outside, the evil spirits, began howling in terrific laughter that rose high over the treetops and shook the glass of the windows, frightening everyone and making Zuri cover her ears and sob louder.

I never felt so worthless in my life, not even in Purgatory, as I did then.

After that, Zuri stayed shut up in her room, under her bed covers, refusing to come out and be seen.

But Ben was a whole other story, appearing to be stronger than I had ever seen him since we met. I knew he was different now, that he was more than likely demonic. I remembered the way he looked that day in the graveyard, surrounded by shadows, eyes glowing a deep, savage red. I remembered him fighting Thorne, punching him over and over again without any mercy. I dropped my gaze from him to the table. "Hey, Ben? You feeling okay lately?"

I heard another flip of the pancake. "What do you mean?"

"Like- like do you feel like yourself, I guess?"

"Actually, yeah, I feel more like myself than I have for a long time... I used to cook all the time for my brother, you know."

"Really?" I smiled, looking back up at him. Ben never talked about his family, hadn't mentioned Josh since that first day we went to his house and Ben had sent him through a table.

"Yeah. He was like you though, always trying to help, but burning himself or spilling something all over the place."

"That was once! Now you won't let me do anything."

"I work best alone anyway."

I dropped my gaze again. Maybe we were spending too much time together? Maybe he didn't really want me around so much? Well, that was okay. I needed to get looking for my mentor anyway, and I didn't think Ben would make that easy if he never let me do anything after just one bout of trouble. 

Artemis told me I needed to get my priorities straight, and she was absolutely right. Of course I would still protect Ben from the Demons, I had sworn I would, but during the day time when Kanoa was awake to veil our energy, I needed to get looking for more of those spiders.

I had repeatedly had that dream, with the same woman turned away from me, singing everytime. I could recite the song from memory now.

Here you will find her, creature of dread

Deep in the darkness, staring ahead

Follow the eight-legged, through their thread

Where no one ventures, living or dead

Here you will find her, the lonely beast

Punished forever, favored the least

Where love is lost, and all dreams cease

Where she devours, such a gory feast

Clearly, these had to be instructions of a sort. Artemis said I already knew where to find this creature of dread, though who provided such knowledge to me was unknown, and frankly it was unsettling that ideas could simply be planted into my head that were not originally mine to begin with. Artemis mentioned Morpheus, and that made all the sense in the world, because Morpheus was the God of Dreams, but his interest in my situation was also a mystery, and his discreet way of communicating told me that, like Artemis, he was weary of being watched. Before then, and even now, I didn't want to think that the dreams were from Morpheus. I wanted them to be from my mother. I wanted to believe, that even if she had been obliterated, I hadn't lost her completely.

A plate stacked full of chocolate chip pancakes was set in front of me. I looked up, realizing Ben had been speaking to me. "Oh, sorry, thank you."

"Where did you go?" he asked, folding his arms and sitting at the edge of the table.

"Just thinking about what I'm going to do this afternoon when you're in the basement."

"Not going to kick my ass at chess again?"

I smirked. "Not today. Today, I'm going to go looking for that spider again. I think that is what the song is referring too. I mean, what else is eight-legged with thread?"

"You're going by yourself?"

"Yeah. I have to do this on my own, I think."

He nodded. "Just be careful, okay? And no going into thread or whatever the hell until you come back and tell us. Deal?"

"It's a deal," I said, shoving a forkful of pancake into my mouth. Man, I loved those things. Ben pulled out the chair next to me and sat down. I frowned. "What, you aren't going to eat?"

"Nah."

"You didn't eat dinner last night either. Actually, I can't remember you eating yesterday at all."

He popped open the textbook left on the table by Berit the night before, avoiding my stare, "Yeah, just haven't been hungry lately," he said, skimming through the pages.

I nodded slowly, feeling uneasy.

You know what he is.

I examined his profile, looking for changes, but there was nothing except a burn scar not altogether healed along his jawline from Thorne's attack. 

Ben had misunderstood that it wasn't Thorne who had hurt me, that it was the wormhole I traveled through with Adrian that had sliced me up. He wanted to protect me, and that's why he fought Thorne, why he wouldn't stop hitting him. The more I stared at it, at the shiny red marring, the stranger I felt. I felt guilty, because I was supposed to be the one protecting him. 

Before realizing it, I reached out and gently traced my fingers along the smooth mark. He turned my way, surprisingly not removing them from his face. "I'm sorry," I found myself saying.

"For what?"

"Everyone got hurt."

"K," he said, taking my hand in his and setting the book down, "what could you have done?"

I could have not been weak. I could have not been a monster. "I could have acted like a Goddess."

He stared at me for a minute, still holding my hand, and was just about to say something when the chipper sound of whistling unexpectedly entered the kitchen from behind us.We startled, pulling apart, and then my soul leapt up in a rush of joy.

"Adrian!"