"You ready?"

Soonyoung takes a look at Jihoon who's standing right beside him.

His shoulders are sunken and he's sort of curled up into himself, his skin pale white and there's droplets of sweat gathered on Jihoon's forehead.

Soonyoung's eyes travel down to see Jihoon locking his fingers tightly in an attempt to stop them from shaking.

He wishes Jihoon didn't have to go through this, it seems to be doing more harm than good.

"If you don't feel comfortable going in, we can always do this another day."

Seungcheol speaks up from Jihoon's other side. He knows it too.

Soonyoung sees him gulp heavily and nod, not once looking up at any of them. He deeply exhales, intertwines his fingers with Jihoon's left hand, and pushes the door open.

The air is thick and heavy and Jihoon feels like he might choke, his hand unconsciously gripping tighter onto Soonyoung's.

"Good evening boys. Please, take a seat."

Jihoon can't make eye contact with the people on the other side of the table or he feels like he might faint.

"I'm sure you're all aware of what we need to discuss today, and I do seek your understanding on some decisions we have come to make as a company. First, let's talk about your... urges to self-harm."

Jihoon feels his soul leave his body at the last sentence. He doesn't know why he's here, doesn't know why he has to do this. Do they think they're helping him in any way at all?

His fingers weaken in Soonyoung's hand and Soonyoung side glances him worriedly.

"Besides the bruising on your skin, have you faced any other self-harm urges or done anything to inflict harm on yourself?"

Fuck.

Jihoon wants to stay silent, but he can feel the gazes burning into his skin. Judging by the looks on Seungcheol and Soonyoung's face when he hesitates to respond, he knows they want an answer too. No matter how lifeless he feels and looks, all they want is an answer, right?

"I-I have."

He can feel himself breaking down inside, slowly. Everything in him is collapsing and it's getting harder to breathe.

"The company has decided to send you for therapy sessions that will last about 5 weeks, and if needed, more. Since we're going to be on tour, you have the choice to follow us, along with your therapist. You will also be on hiatus until you get better. We hope you understand, the company only wants what's best for you."

Bullshit.

Seungcheol shifts in the seat beside Jihoon and clears his throat.

"Are we sure that that won't do more damage than good? Going for therapy... it puts a label on your head."

Jihoon's already wet eyes cautiously travel up to meet Seungcheol's.

"Like I said, we did this with the best intentions in mind. I know the last therapist didn't do great but... we have done a thorough check and the new therapist we're sending him to is a highly respectable and skilled one."

Didn't do great? Soonyoung remembers how damaging the previous therapist was to Jihoon.

There was a period when Jihoon actually looked lifeless. Everything moved in slow-motion, and the boy who once had a passion in his music had become a dull shell.

Everyone was worried about his situation but didn't know what was going on. Jihoon was always threatened not to rat out on his therapist.

Soonyoung makes a prayer in his head that the man suffers every single day in his remaining years of prison.

"Okay."

Seungcheol and Soonyoung both whip their heads to Jihoon at the same split second when they heard his raspy whisper of an answer.

Something definitely looked wrong with him. Jihoon looked absolutely torn-down and... dead, void of emotions. They couldn't even read his facial expression due to his face mask.

"I'm glad we're on the same page, Jihoon. Have a good night's rest and your first therapy session can start tomorrow afternoon."

This is all moving way too fast. Jihoon can't possibly be okay with this, but judging by the tears in his eyes, Soonyoung can tell that he just wants to leave. All he wants is to get this over with and get out.

"Alright."

"Seungcheol, I'll text you the address. The manager will pick Jihoon up from your dorm at approximately 1pm. One member will be able to accompany him at his appointments just to look after him."

There's silence as sounds of flipping paper fill the room.

"C-Can I go now?"

It's the first full sentence Jihoon has spoken since he entered the room. Soonyoung feels Jihoon's fingers scrunch the end of his shirt up so tightly and he looks down, seeing the white of his fingers start peeking out.

"I'll get Seungcheol to stay a little longer, you may leave."

Our manager nods and Jihoon is up from his seat in an instant, hand letting go of Soonyoung and trudging out of the meeting room.

He can't breathe. Something's gone terribly wrong.

As soon as the both of them are out, Jihoon stumbles and leans heavily with his back against the wall. He feels his breath finally coming back again.

"Jihoon, love, tell me what's wrong."

His lips are pursed together in an attempt to stop a whimper from leaving his throat.

Soonyoung cups his face and tilts his head up. At the eye contact that they make, Jihoon's tears finally flow down freely.

He whimpers weakly and struggles to even hold himself up. Soonyoung takes the opportunity the slip his hand around Jihoon's waist gently, careful of the bruise.

"I-I'm not insane..."

"I know, baby. I know. I'm so sorry..."

His breathing is laboured and quick but shallow. Not getting enough air into his body seems to make Jihoon more panicked. Soonyoung takes the face mask off of him and reveals tear-striken cheeks.

"Am I normal? Soon am I... am I broken? I don't want a therapist, he's going to hurt me. Please... please Soon, don't let them send me there again..."

Soonyoung holds the back of Jihoon's head and pushes it softly to lean on his own shoulder. He's completely heartbroken at what needs to leave his mouth next.

"I'll try my best to convince them baby. I'm so, so sorry."

Truthfully, Soonyoung knows that there's nothing much he can do. For now, he continues to stroke and untangle tiny knots in Jihoon's hair, smoothening it out until his breathing is no longer heavy and panicked.