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Unbirthday

Waah! The Flash yelled as he was pinned to the wall by a red spear from behind. He thanked the lightning bolt for quick healing as he plucked the spear from his shoulder back, scoffing at the heart shaped arrow.

"Who couldn't have seen that coming." Barry scoffed.

"Over here!" A voice shouted and the Flash saw a man in a white suit with red hearts all over, call over the rest of the group.

"A whole deck, huh? Happy unbirthday to me!" Flash commented as the bad guys charged at him.

"Alright. Off with your heads." The superhero ran through the pack of bad guys, intentionally kicking or punching each of them in the heads to fulfill his pun.

"Oh man, Cisco. You really should've been he-" Barry was cut off by a loud roar, and slowly turning around, he saw the beast. Grey fur with black spots, and really dark black color lining his lips. The animal let out another roar and leaped towards Barry, who immediately sped off in the other direction.

The Mad Hatter sat in his office, watching the action take place on his tv screens. He scowled and groaned and let out all disappointed emotions he could when the Flash easily beat out his henchmen just because he was super fast. The Hatter suddenly had an idea and smiled his creepy, yellow teeth smile.

"And ever as the story drained/ the wells of fancy dry.

And faintly strove that weary one/ to put the subject by.

No I wouldn't be much the wonder of Wonderland if my story was becoming a snore to me! Let's make things fun, shall we!"

Barry stopped as Hatter's voice spoke through every intercom.

"If above 30 his feet do floor/ there will be a Flash no more! *le hysterical laugh"

"Ah, man! If I hear one more rhyme, I will make sure they double his time. Ouch, okay Barry, gotta stop."

Hatter sat laughing in his chair, almost falling back. He returned his gaze to the screens, enjoying the Flash have an average day in the land of wonder. The tide seemed to turn back in his side as his henchmen were better at getting the hero than he was at getting them. His smile dropped and he leaned into the cameras as the superhero managed to find a blindspot.

"Think Barry, think think think! Gotta do something, figure something out, quick! Without the super speed, I'm not a super-"

"Nooot a super! Well well, Barry. Who do you call when you need a super, without any super." Barry tapped his earpiece, but slouched, remembering that the Cheshire cat had taken out his comms.

He looked over his hiding spot and found a baddie knocked out on the floor. Checking around every place he could, he sneaked the body towards him and checked his pockets to the luck of finding a phone.

Barry raked his mind for the phone number, but when he came up empty handed, he Googled the number for the HQ in Gotham; Wayne Enterprises HQ.

"Good evening, you have reached the front desk at Wayne Enterprises. This is Jessica, how may I help you?"

"Hi, Jessica. How you doing? I'm hoping to reach Bruce Wayne. If you could tell him this is Barry Allen from the forensics department at CCPD."

"I'll see to it, please hold."

"Yeah, sure. No problem." Barry said sarcastically.

"Thank you Jessica. Bruce Wayne speaking."

"Wow, you thank someone?"

"Bruce Wayne does. I don't recognize the number."

"You shouldn't. It's not mine. Listen, I'm actually stuck in the middle of Wonderland. And please, don't, just don't make a rhyme. I was wondering if you could, you know..."

"You can't run, can you?"

"Can I? Sure. May I? No, I, I go over thirty, the place goes boom."

"Keep the phone on, I'm on my way. And oh, Barry?"

"Yeah?"

"Beware the jabberwock."

"The jabber-what? Hello? Bruce? Batman?"

"Oh man, please be a caterpillar, please be a caterpillar."

The Hatter had gone restless upon not being able to find the Flash on any camera, and his men noticed.

"What's the matter, boss?"

"Aaah! No, no, no, this game is no fun, if there isn't one to run!" He slammed his fists on the table a second before an idea came to him.

"And look at the time/ time for a new rhyme. Tock tick, Flashy, tick tick tock/ Run for your life, cause here's the jabberwock!!"

Mad Hatter finished his rhyme and flipped a big switch on his panel, and a shrill of opening shutters echoed through wonderland.

"One, two! And through and through! Oh frabjous day, callouh! Callay!"

*le time eskiip

And, as in uffish thought he stood,

The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,

Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,

And burbled as it came!

The Jabberwock chased the Flash through the warehouse and the superhero tried to use whatever he could to his benefit. Despite being unable to run, he threw things at the manxom bird in lightning speed, also trying to make quick gadgets that could be of use.

"Oh, Cisco. You should definitely see this. Obviously not in my situation, of course."

Barry had used everything he could think of and was left to running away, at normal speed, of course. He tripped over a passed out gu/card and tumbled behind a hill. The Jabberwok jumped on the hill and folded its wings behind as it screeched at the ceiling.

Having to use its claws to stand, the bird snatched at the hero with his head. A tooth snagged Barry in the shoulder and he winced in pain. The Jabberwok struck out again and there was a groan, but it wasn't from Barry.

He sat up to see the bird's teeth stuck on the metal scallops on the gauntlets Barry knew all too well. The same scallops which had broken the sword of Ra's al-Ghul. Batman had finally joined the (tea)party. The Flash sat back as his wound healed, the poison from the jabberwok slowing the process.

Batman proved to be an equally matched opponent for the animatronic bird, but evidently the CEO of the technology company pushed through and disabled the wired bird. He then lent a hand to Barry.

"What, no vorpal sword?"

"I save it for assassins, not animatronics."

"Thanks for taking the call."

"Let's go crash this tea party," Batman punned in his usual Batman tone and walked past the Flash, who looked star gazed after the older hero as if he'd walked away with fierey explosions behind him.

The Hatter screamed and threw a tantrum in the control room as his men ran outside to deal with the Batman, of course, after they picked up some extra tools and guns to use against the KEVLAR clad superhero detective.

The Hatter froze but still shivered and jittered as he heard the gunfire and the screams outside his room. As the noise became less and less, he grabbed his hat and ran out the second door, running to make it into his special room. He stepped two feet in through the door when a dark voice stopped him.

"You crashed my tea party, Batman." Hatter turned to him and stepped backwards in.

"I grew tired of waiting for the invitation," the hero replied as he walked into the room, past the screens set up. Hatter stopped in his tracks when his eyes fell on the screen and he flashed an evil smirk at his opponent.

"You should have checked with your butler, *le pause* Mr. Wayne."

Bruce stopped still in his way just as Barry came flashing through the door.

"Decked the cards, now we just need...to...oh boy," Barry shut up as Bruce Wayne's face was plastered on every screen in the room, soon giving way to Barry's own.

"Thiis is bad."

"You think?"

"Haven't your mothers ever told you, no talking at the table, or you'll get a time out! Oh Frabjous day! Pinkies up!"

Both the superheroes looked up to see a gas cloud pouring out from a giant teapot. Barry grabbed Bruce to speed away, but before he could take a single step, his legs collapsed and he fell unconscious right next to the Batman, his vision blurring out as Hatter danced above their sleeping bodies .

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