To say that Gabriel was hurt would be an understatement. If you asked him, he would tell you that having a heart attack seemed less daunting than the fact that he was sitting right there in front of the man he had fallen in love with, and now Sam didn't remember him. Gabriel felt tears slide down his cheeks, the same confused look on Sam's face. It only made him cry harder.

"Please..." Gabriel whimpered, taking Sam's hand in his despite the male flinching. He squeezed it, his words coming out in a begging tone as if he was wiling Sam to remember. "Please don't forget me. You....pr-promised you wouldn't."

"I'm sorry. I don't know who you are?" Sam replied slowly, concern crossing his features, yet no recognition. Gabriel let out a sob, the noise wracking his throat and making his chest burn before he buried his face in the bed, letting out scream after scream of his pain.

It wasn't until he felt someone grab his shoulders and pulled him away from Sam that his screams got louder, the incoherent words becoming closer and closer to Sam's name as he was drug out of the room. As the door closed, he let the screams die in his throat, falling to the ground, his chest heaving with pain.

"Gabriel..." The nurse trailed off, a comforting hand placed on his back. It did nothing for Gabriel as he raked his nails over his scalp, broken sobs reching through his throat.

"He doesn't remember me!" Gabriel shouted into the floor, fresh tears beginning to drip onto the tile. "I had fallen in love with him, and he doesn't even know who I am! Don't you know how much it hurts! I just want to die!"

"Gabriel! Don't say something like that!" The nurse gasped in shock, pulling the man up onto his feet. She was one of the more elderly women, her hair graying and her features finally starting to slack. The kindness on her face did nothing for Gabriel though.

"Now, you listen to me, young man. You are not going to die. You are going to stay right here and take care of that poor boy who is probably terrified. You cry about how you feel? He doesn't know what's going on, who he is, who you are. He can't remember anything! You should be in there comforting him!" The woman ranted, her voice gentle but firm at the same time. Gabriel whimpered, biting his lip in frustration.

"I don't know if I can see him though." Gabriel cried, leaning against the woman as she pulled him into a hug. "It....I don't think I can do it without breaking down."

The nurse sighed and hugged him tightly, much like a mother would, before pulling away, looking him in the eyes. "Gabriel Novak, You are one of the strongest men I know. You took a broken boy with a broken mind and not only put it back together, but made him feel like he had a life beyond it. If you can do all that, loving him should be the easiest thing you've ever done." She assured, her eyes soft and kind. Gabriel wallowed back the bile that rose in his throat, sobs pushing through.

"I do. I love him so much. I want him to come back." Gabriel whimpered, trying to wipe away his tears. He was going to do it. He was going to toughen up and face his lover, no matter how painful. "Can you come with me?"

He felt like such a little kid for asking, but the nurse only smiled and nodded. Gently, she took his arm and opened the door, leading him back into the room where Sam lay, staring at the ceiling as he furrowed his eyebrows. Gabriel could see his jaw clenching and unclenching, knowing that the boy was trying to remember something.

"Sam Winchester?" The nurse said, catching the attention of Sam. He nodded hesitantly, slowly sitting up. When he saw Gabriel standing behind her, his facial expression twisted, making Gabriel's heart flutter with hope, only to sink when it changed to one of confusion.

"How are you feeling? Any pain at all?" The nurse asked, sitting in the chair beside the bed. Sam shook his head, his jaw clenching again. The nurse nodded and checked the wound on Sam's head, sighing in relief when she saw that it was clean and there was no sign of infection.

"You're wound looks better. We should be thankful." The nurse commented before glancing back at Gabriel, her face falling into one of sadness. "Do you remember anything?"

"I...remember....fireworks." Sam mumbled, his nose wrinkling in concentration. "My brother was setting them off in a field. Dad was out doing his job." The man trailed off, shaking his head as if that's the last thing he remembered.

"Okay, sweetie. Do you know how old you are?" The nurse pressed. Gabriel knew she was trying to get a vague date of where the memories stop, and he couldn't help but feel his chest clench with nervousness. He knew the chance of Sam getting his memories back would be low if they had to start back where they did last time.

"Fourteen? I think that's what it was." Sam replied, looking down at the ground, confusion crossing his face. He looked back up, meeting the eyes of Gabriel, his hazel orbs glowing as if pleading for help. "I don't feel fourteen though." 

"You're twenty-two, soon to be twenty-three since your birthday is next month." Gabriel answered for him, biting back the tears that were starting to well. He had been planning something nice for the man for his birthday, but it looked like he wasn't going to get to ever enjoy it with him.

"Twenty-two? But, but what happened? Why can't I remember?" Sam asked, a bit of panic beginning to lace his voice as his expression turned to one of fear. Gabriel felt his already torn heart crack just a bit more, and he hurried to the man's side, putting his hands on his face, ignoring the way Sam tensed..

"Sam, breathe deeply." Gabriel said softly, keeping his gaze locked with his lover's. Sam searched his face, trying to find any hint of danger. When there was none, Sam forced himself to relax, following Gabriel's orders. 

"Now, you've been in a car wreck and you hit your head pretty badly. You've lost your memory, but don't worry, we'll help you get it back okay? You don't know me, but I'm going to take care of you, just like I did before." Gabriel assured, slowly releasing Sam's face and pulling him into a hug, holding him like if he let go, the man would be gone. "I love you, okay? Just hold onto that and we'll make it through."

Gabriel knew that Sam was confused, but he also knew the man had to remember something, even if it was not mental. So, when he felt Sam's body automatically pressing against his own, those strong arms wrapping around his waist where Sam always held him, he felt tht same flutter of hope return. The nurse cleared her throat, and Gabriel had to reluctantly pull away, meeting the saddened gaze of the woman.

"We should go get the doctor. I'm sorry Gabriel, but you can't stay in here while we are looking him over. You are no longer a nurse, but a patient's visitor. You'll have to wait in the waiting room until we finish." The nurse said regretfully. Gabriel opened his mouth to argue, but he thought better of it, knowing that he was already at a thin line with his boss to begin with.

"Did you call Dean Winchester?" Gabriel asked instead. The nurse nodded, glancing down at her watch.

"I called him before I came in here. That was around twenty minutes ago. He said he would be here as fast as he could, so I expect it would be at any minute now. Maybe you should go wait for them?" She suggested, patting Gabriel on the shoulder comfortingly.

Reluctantly, Gabriel nodded, glancing back at Sam one last time before leaving the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 The minute Castiel and Dean had walked into the waiting room, Gabriel was holding on tightly to his little brother, tears streaking his face as he began to cry again. Castiel had held him, whispering comforting words into his ear until the nurse was finally able to tell them what happened. 

"He's lost his memory." Gabriel whimpered, sitting down with the couple sitting beside him. He heard Dean take a sharp intake of breath, making Gabriel flinch.

"How much did he lose this time?" Dean asked softly, his voice dangerously low. Castiel laid his hand on top of Dean's, giving him a reassuring glance before turning his attention back to Gabriel, who had tears sliding down his face again.

"The last thing he remembers was you two shooting fireworks in a field when he was fourteen." Gabriel whispered, his body shaking as he leaned against his brother, feeling exhausted. Dean let out a grunt, and fell silent, obviously deep in thought while Castiel tried to comfort both of them at the same time.

"Dean Winchester?" The nurse from earlier said as she walked up, her eyes showing her worry. "You can see Sam now."

"Can Cas come too? He's my husband." Dean asked, biting his lip as he laced his hand with Castiel's. The nurse nodded, and they both stood. Gabriel started to as well, but was stopped by the nurse, who's worry was now prominent.

"The Head Nurse wants to see you Gabriel. He doesn't look very happy." The nurse said, shaking her head as her lips pressed into a thin line. It didn't help anything other than making him nervous.

"I'll...go see him right away." Gabriel mumbled nervously. The nurse nodded, squeezing his arm and smiling gently, though it did not have the same effect considering her eyes were showing her stress.

"I'll come with you. You look like you could need it." The nurse offered. Gabriel gratefully agreed and together, they walked up the stairs to the floor that the Head Nurse's office was, each step driving Gabriel's nerves higher and higher.

Finally, they reached the door and Gabriel knocked hesitantly, a grunt of acknowledgement motioning him in. He did so, and took a seat in front of the large desk, another man in his mid forties sitting on the other side. He shrunk under the man's scrutinizing gaze, his heart hammering in his chest.

"Gabriel. You are a good nurse, and are greatly respected among the workforce, but, I have begun to notice that you are starting to slip. This would worry me of course, but the reason on why it is happening is more worrying. You are losing everything you worked for, for one patient, who also has ended up being your lover. Not only are you breaking our rules, you are also putting other patient's lives in danger." The man paused, rubbing his hand over his mouth thoughtfully before sighing. "So, it is decided that when this Sam Winchester gets out of the hospital, you will have no contact with him. For your patient's safety, and for your sake, you will forget about the man and move on, while he still doesn't remember you."

Gabriel froze, letting the words play over and over in his head. The Head Nurse waited expectantly for Gabriel to collect his thoughts, which were in a jumble.

If he were to choose his job, he would never see Sam again, never be able to hold him, never be able to talk to him, never be able to kiss him. Everthing that the nurse had wanted to do ever since he first fell for the man. On the otherhand, if he were to choose Sam, he would lose his job, and everything he had been working for since he first started college.

He felt the nurse place a hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently to show that she was still there. Letting the thoughts fester for a minute, he begun to realize something very important to him. Was there ever really a choice?

"I quit then." Gabriel said with a nonchalant shrug, feeling something drift from his chest, taking a weight of his shoulders he never knew he had. He felt...more free than he ever had felt in a long time. "I'll be with Sam if you need me. If you don't mind, I would like to know when he gets out so I could prepare to pick him up. He does live with me after all."

Gabriel stood from his chair, looking at the shocked Head Nurse dead in the eye. "Did you ever think I would give up someone that amazing? You're sorely mistaken." He spat before turning away, giving the nurse a thankful nod before walking out the door, ignoring the Head Nurse's sputters and going to see Sam, who he was beginning to miss very much.