So I guess me being bored af on a school night but not being tired leads to me writing this. Cool.
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Setting the scene:
The lads just got back to Liam's place after a night out. Liam and Zayn are sober since they figured they would need to babysit Louis and Harry once they got drunk. The four of them are laying on the sofa in the living room. Harry is asleep and the others are watching TV. Niall's a bit drunk but not as much as Louis and Harry. He's in the kitchen making food.
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Liam: Niall what are you doing?

Niall: Making ramen. Why?

Zayn: It's 2:30 in the morning.

Niall: Your point?

Liam: You ate like an hour ago and it's late.

Niall: Yeah it's been a whole hour without food. Way too long if you ask me.

Zayn: *facepalm*

Liam: *rolls eyes*

Louis gets up.

Liam: Where are you going?

Louis: I wanna try something.

Liam: You're in no state to be doing anything but sleep.

Louis: I can't do anything?

Liam: No.

Louis: Are you saying I shouldn't breathe?

Liam: Well, yes you can.

Louis: Are you saying I shouldn't blink?

Liam: No I'm not saying that.

Louis: Are you saying I shouldn't-

Zayn: Yes! Do what you need to do but just shut it!

Louis: Thank you.

Louis stumbles out of the room and comes back a few minutes later with an air horn

Zayn: Where'd you get that from?

Louis: I bought it when we were out.

Zayn: Why?

Louis: You'll see...

Louis walks over to the small end table on the side of the sofa, lifts it up, and puts it on the sofa over sleeping Harry's head.

Louis: 3... 2... 1...

*Louis blows the air horn loudly*

Harry jumps awake abruptly and bangs his head on the table. Hard.

Harry: OW!!! WHAT THE HELL?!?!?

*Louis is on the floor dying laughing while Liam and Zayn smile at their band mates*

Harry: You're dead, Tomlinson.

Niall: WHOEVER BLEW THAT HORN MADE ME DROP MY RAMEN!!!!!!!!!

Zayn: You can thank Lou for that one.

Harry and Niall start to chase Louis around the house, clumsily running into walls and other things since they're still drunk.

*loud noise is heard from outside*

Liam: Did you here that?

Zayn: Yeah. What d'you reckon it was?

Liam: Idk. Probably just a raccoon or something.

*shuffling can be heard on the other side of the front door a few minutes later*

Zayn: Is the raccoon trying to come inside?

Liam: Hold on I'll go see what it is.

Liam gets up and walks over to the front door. He peeks through the window and sees a tall, black figure.

Liam: Zayn, turn off the lights and make sure all of the doors and windows are locked.

Zayn: Why? What is it?!

Liam: I think someone's trying to break in. I'll go find the boys. Meet us in my bedroom when you're done. Be careful.

Zayn: *panicked voice* Okay.

Zayn gets up and Liam runs up stairs to find the rest of the boys. Liam hears their voices coming from the bathroom and barges in.

Liam: What the hell are you lads doing?!

Harry is sitting on the shower floor with the water running over his head and Niall and Louis are having a toothpaste fight.

Harry: *singing*
I'm dancing in the mirror,
And singing in the shower, shower
La da dee la da da la da da!

Niall: Lou, you got mint toothpaste in my eye!

Louis: Not my problem! I'd say you deserve it since you threw my air horn in the toilet!

Niall: But it was only like $3! You can get another one!

Louis: I don't want to! That air horn was special to me! I named it Abraham!

Liam: BOYS! There's someone trying to break into the house! We need to hide in my bedroom!

*all three stop and turn to Liam*

Liam: Harry! Turn the water off and grab a towel quickly! Louis and Niall! Drop the toothpaste and come with me! NOW!

The lads do as they're told and meet Liam in his bedroom (sorry that sounded weird).

Zayn comes in a few minutes later.

Zayn: All windows and doors are locked, all lights are off, and all curtains have been closed. I heard the person a few times outside the door.

Liam: Alright. Thanks Zayn. Okay, everyone in the closet. I need to call the police.

The five of them follow one after another into Liam's huge closet and dressing room while Liam calls the police.

Voice over the phone: 911, what's your emergency?

Liam: I'd like to report a break-

*Harry grabs Liam's phone from him*

Harry: Hello is this Spongebob? Yes, I'd like to order 69 Crabby Patties please.

Liam: HARRY GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK NOW

Voice over the phone: Sir, if this is not a real emergency please do not call us.

Harry: But it is an emergency! We need those Crabby Patties!

*Liam reaches for his phone but Harry moves away*

Liam: HARRY!

Voice over the phone: I'm sorry, sir, but I can't help you with that. Please only call this number when you have an urgent emergency. *hangs up*

Harry: So we can't get the Crabby Patties...?

Liam: Damn you Harry!

Harry: Liam, I know how much you like Crabby Patties, but it's not my fault we can't get them. I tried my best.

Liam: NO! That's not my point dumb ass!

Zayn: I'll try calling on my phone.

*a glass window shattering can be heard from downstairs*

Liam: Dammit now we know for sure someone's inside.

Niall: You don't have some kind of security system?

Liam: No! I just bought the place two weeks ago! I wasn't intending on anyone breaking in two weeks later.

Louis: That's not really something you can intend.

Niall: Shut up Lou.

Louis: Hey you're not my mum!

Niall: I didn't say I was.

Liam: Both of you shut up!

Louis: Okay Daddy Payno

Zayn: *on the phone* Hello there's a break in in the house I am in.

Voice over phone: Ok sir, what is the address?

Zayn: *************** Los Angeles, California.

Voice over phone: Ok sir, the police is being sent to your house now. If you can, get yourself and anyone else out of the house safely. Stay away from the reported suspect.

Zayn: Ok. Thank you. *hangs up* Liam we need to get out of the house.

Harry: So they don't have any Crabby Patties..?

Zayn: Harry enough of the Crabby Patties! No! They don't have any!

Harry: *pouts*

Liam: We're on the third floor. I don't think we can get out through the window. Too far of a drop.

Louis: Well I guess it wasn't too smart of you to lock us in your bedroom closet, eh?

Liam: Somebody smack him for me.

Niall: I'll do it!

*Niall smacks Louis*

Louis: OW!

Niall: Serves you right.

*Louis gives Niall the death stare*

Zayn: What are we gonna do?

Liam: I think the best option is to wait until the police get here.

Niall: What if the guy finds us before the police get here?

Louis: What if we can't protect ourselves?

Harry: What if Spongebob doesn't bring the Crabby Patties?!

Liam and Zayn: HARRY!

Liam: We shouldn't move around or be loud because then that will make it easier for the guy to find us. Let's just stay in here and not say or do ANYTHING.

Louis: So we shouldn't breathe or bl-

Zayn: Yes you can do that just be QUIET!

*footsteps and things being moved around can be heard downstairs*

Niall: I'm scared.

Zayn: We all are Niall. Don't worry we'll all make it out of here.

Louis: In body bags.

*Niall smacks Louis again*

Louis: OW!!!

Liam: Shut it!

*the footsteps can be heard coming up the stairs*

*all whispering now*

Niall: Oh no they're getting closer!

Liam: There are a bunch of rooms on this floor. Hopefully they won't come in here soon.

*Liam's bedroom door can be heard opening*

Louis: Payno you're not very good at predicting things.

Liam: SHHH!

*the lads are dead silent as the criminal walks around the room*

The foot steps get closer and closer. The boys back away from the door more and more.
The lock on the closet door moves around as the criminal tries to open the door.
Eventually the criminal busts open the door causing the boys to yell out in fear.

Criminal: Found you.

Niall: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

Louis: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

Zayn: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

Liam: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

Harry: Hello mate! Did you happen to see Spongebob on your way up here?

Liam: RUN BOYS!!!!! SEPARATE!!!!!

The lads are all able to squeeze by the criminal without getting caught. They make a run for the front door.

Liam: *tries to open front door* I can't open it! It's jammed!

Zayn: *tries to open a window* The windows are glued shut!

Liam: Glued?!

Zayn: Yeah!

Liam: How the hell did they glue the windows shut?

Zayn: I don't know!

Liam: Quick! Everyone try to get out through the window they busted open!

Zayn: There isn't enough time! I hear them coming!

Liam: EVERYONE SEPARATE AND HIDE!!!

Liam's POV

I ran away from the front door hoping that the lads will find a place to hide and that they'll be safe. I avoided the main staircase knowing that the criminal was coming down those stairs. Instead I ran around to the other side of the house to the other flight of stairs. I flew up the stairs, running into the nearest room. I found myself in one of the guest bathrooms on the second floor. It was still too high up to jump out of the window but even if I could jump out I wouldn't because I wouldn't want to leave the boys. I ran into the closet and locked myself in, hoping that the other four are safe.

Niall's POV

I ran to the kitchen on the far side of the house because why not? If I was gonna have to hide for who knows how long until the police get here, I might as well have some snacks with me. Right? Yes. Right. I avoided the main staircase like how I saw Liam did and headed for the kitchen. I made a beeline for the huge pantry and dove into a pile of snacks hoping it would provide me with good cover. I made sure I was completely hidden in the mountain of snacks before pulling out a bag of crisps and waiting. The other lads may be safe but they don't have refreshments like I do!

Louis' POV

Damn I miss Abraham right now. If only Neil hadn't thrown him in the toilet. He could've come in handy right now. I could blast him in the criminal's ears making him go deaf. That way he can't hear us and tell where we are. Brilliant, I know. Well I guess I need to find a safe place to hide. I followed Liam up the staircase on the far side of the house and continued up the stairs to the fourth floor. I hadn't been on the fourth floor before so I didn't know what I would find. I came across a finished attic with a few rooms. I went inside one room to find a bedroom. I hid myself under the bed and hoped that I wouldn't be found. Oh Abraham I wish you were here with me now.

Zayn's POV

The boys aren't taking this situation seriously enough. It's just Liam and I who are acting like the responsible parents looking after their three children. Oh that sounded weird. No don't think that Liam and I are- okay you know what? Never mind. I need to focus on hiding. I ran towards the basement door and barged through it but still being as quiet as I possibly could. I sprinted down the steps and landed on hard concrete. I looked around desperately for a way out of the house. I found a door but it was locked from the inside out. I figured it would lead to a bulkhead, but even if I could get out, I wouldn't want to leave the others behind. Instead I decided to hide in a pile of rubbish that Liam hoards. Hopefully I'll be safe here. I hope the boys are safe too.

Harry's POV

Me: Hey Mr. Criminal Person Guy Thingy Mabob are you trying to kill me?

Criminal: Well I mean that's kinda the point.

Me: Oh. Cool. Do you watch Spongebob?

Me: What kind of question is that?

Me: A good one. Our friendship relies on it.

Criminal: Friendship?

Me: Yep! So do you watch it?

Criminal: Um... kinda...

Me: OMG BESTIES!!!!!

Criminal: ...

Me: Do you have any Crabby Patties? The police didn't have any. But you're a criminal, so I'm guessing you stole some. So you must have some. Right?

Criminal: Are you drunk?

Me: No! I'm completely sober!

I felt myself start to fall over. I grabbed the closest thing to me to prevent myself from falling. Too bad the closest thing to me was a framed picture on the wall. I grabbed it for support but ended up dropping it on the floor, glass shattering everywhere.

Me: Completely sober!

Criminal: Right...

Me: You still haven't answered my question.

Criminal: What?

Me: Do you have any Crabby Patties?!

Criminal: No I don't! But I do have this!

The criminal pulls a switch knife from his pocket.

Me: What's that for?

The criminal starts to move closer to me.

Me: I thought we were friends!

The criminal starts to chase me around the house.

Me: MY BESTIE'S TRYING TO KILL ME!!!!!

Niall's POV

I heard Harry near the kitchen talking to someone. Was he really talking to the criminal? The voice didn't sound like any of the lads so it had to be. I couldn't tell what they were saying until I heard Harry scream,

"MY BESTIE'S TRYING TO KILL ME!!!!!"

I had to laugh at that. He was so drunk. I might've laughed a little to loud though because I heard Harry's running footsteps continue down the hall but I heard the criminal stop running. Instead he started walking closer and close to the pantry where I was hiding. Crap. Why did I have to laugh? I heard the pantry door open and someone come inside. I wasn't really scared for some reason. I think it's because I'm still a little drunk myself. The criminal appeared in the doorway of the pantry, walking closer and closer to where I was hiding. All of a sudden I felt a hand grab onto my leg. I jumped. I guess I hadn't submerged my entire body into the pile of snacks. The criminal slowly dragged me out until I was fully free from the pile.

Me: Hello mate. You alright?

The criminal just stared at me.

Me: Uh... care for some crisps?

I threw a bag of crisps at him but he didn't catch them. He just continued to stare at me.

Me: Hello?

Criminal: Why isn't anyone scared?

Me: Because we're drunk.

Criminal: So it doesn't bother you that I just busted into your home and broke a bunch of stuff?

Me: Well it's not my place soooo...

Criminal: Alright. Whatever. I'm gonna kill you now.

I got up before he could catch me and ran out of the pantry. I flew up the stairs and ran down the hall with the (now I know was a killer too) on my tail.

Me: HARRY YOUR BESTIE IS TRYING TO KILL ME TOO!!!!!!

Killer: I'M NO ONE'S BESTIE!!!!!

Harry peeks his head out of a door.

Harry: What?! But I thought we were besties!

Me: HARRY HIDE!!!!

Harry started to follow the criminal and I thought the house. I ran down a hall and lost the killer. I eventually found Harry standing in a hallway just staring off into space.

Me: Harry follow me!

The both of us ran to the stairs and up to the fourth floor. We looked around for a place to hide. We decided to crawl under one of the beds.

Louis: You're not getting me bad guy!

Louis smacked me across the face, mistaking me for the killer.

Me: Louis you idiot! It's just us!

Louis: Well actually I don't mind smacking you since you smacked me twice already.

Me: Whatever. Move over we need to hide too.
Louis made room for us and the three of us laid down under the bed, hoping the killer wouldn't find us.

Louis' POV

I felt uncomfortable being squished under a small bed with Harry and Niall. I was perfectly fine here by myself. But I would've been better if I had Abraham with me.

Me: Hey Neil, you slapped me twice, but I only got to smack you once. Can I smack you again just to be fair?

Niall: Absolutely not!

Me: Ugh. Fine. Meanie.

In the silent attic, I didn't here anything but the heavy breathing of us. But very faintly, I heard the sound of an air horn being blown somewhere downstairs.

Me: OH MY GOD!!!! THE KILLER HAS ABRAHAM!!!! I NEED TO GO SAVE HIM!!!

Niall: LOU NO!

Me: You can't stop me! I need to go save my mate!

Harry: I thought we were your mates!

I left the two of them under the bed and flew down the stairs to save my Abraham. I heard the horn rather faintly so I decided to skip looking on the third floor. I came to the second floor when I heard Abraham again. The sound echoed so I figured he was in the bathroom. I threw open the bathroom door and found the killer standing there holding Abraham hostage.

Me: Unhand Abraham right now!

Killer: What? Who's Abraham? Are you drunk too?

Me: How dare you automatically assume that I'm drunk! Yes I am! And that is Abraham right there! You're keeping him as your prisoner!

Killer: This air horn...?

Me: Yes! Let him go!

Killer: Um... okay... here you go.

He threw Abraham to me.

Me: Cheers! I'm just gonna head out now.

Killer: No you're not.

Me: Pretty sure I am.

Killer: No you're not.

He started to come closer to me with a switch blade in hand.

Me: Fine! You can have me but you can't have Abraham!

Killer: Okay.

He got closer and closer to me until I couldn't stand my ground anymore.

Me: Actually I change my mind.

I darted down the hall holding Abraham close to me. I ran back up the stairs to the attic hoping the killer wouldn't see me go there. Thankfully I was too quick for him and lost him. I ran back up to the attic and crawled under the bed.

Me: Look lads I found Abraham!

Killer: Nice job.

Me: AAAAHHHH!!!!

I jumped up and hit my head on the bed. I scooted out from underneath the bed.

Me: What did you do with my mates?!

Killer: Oh I'm just keeping them hostage like your... uh... air horn.

Me: He has a name.

Killer: Whatever.

I blasted Abraham's horn in his ear.

Me: That's what you get for not addressing Abraham by his official name.

The killer looked very annoyed at me. Mission accomplished.

Killer: Alright smart ass. Here's the deal. I have your two friends tied up in the kitchen downstairs. You have two options: 1, I'll let you leave the house but I'll kill your friends; or 2, you will follow me to the kitchen and I'll tie you up with your friends.

Me: If I go with you will you kill us?

Killer: Not yet.

Me: Ok I'll go with you.

Killer: Ha! You idiot.

Me: I'm not an idiot. I just don't want you to kill my mates.

Killer: Sure whatever.

I followed the man down to the kitchen, holding Abraham close to me.

Me: If you tie me up, you won't take Abraham will you?

Killer: Yes I will.

Me: If I had gone with option 1, would you have let me have Abraham?

Killer: Yes.

Me: I CHANGE MY MIND!!! I WANNA LEAVE !!!

Killer: Too late for that.

Before I knew it I was tied to a chair in the kitchen with both Niall and Harry by my side.
Abraham sat on the counter in front of us. I could see the pain shining in his... horn?

Me: Alright lads?

Niall: Not now Lou.

Me: Rude.

Harry: Hi Lou.

Me: Hi Hazza.

Killer: Hi Lou.

Me: Hi Killer.

Harry: Hi Lou.

Me: Hi H- wait I already said hi to you.

Harry: Hmph.

Zayn's POV

*texting Liam*

Me: Where are you?

Liam: Guest bathroom, second floor, not the one you heard Louis go in. Where are you?

Me: Basement, hiding behind a pile of rubbish next to the bulkhead door.

Liam: Ok. Do you know who the killer has?

Me: I think I'm just below the kitchen. I can hear them pretty clearly through a heating vent. It sounds like he has all three of them and someone named Abraham? Idk who that is.

Liam: Ugh. It's Louis air horn.

Me: ???

Liam: Never mind that. We need to save them

Me: When are the police gonna get here?

Liam: Idk. Soon probably.

Me: Ok. Where do you want to meet? I can't really go anywhere because the basement door is right next to the kitchen. He'll see me.

Liam: It's fine. Just meet me in the kitchen.

Me: Ok

I turned my phone off and made my way up the stairs. I put my ear against the door and heard the Killer talking to the boys.

Killer: Alright Louis, if you don't tell me where the others are right now, Abraham gets it.

Louis: No! I swear I don't know where they are! Just don't do this to Abraham!

Killer: You have 10 seconds.

Louis: NO!

Killer: 10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

Liam: STOP!

That was my cue. I barged through the basement door and into the kitchen along with Liam.

Me: Let them go now!

Killer: Why would I?

Harry: Because you're a meanie!

Liam: Harry shut up.

Harry: It's true! He said the wouldn't be my bestie!

Louis: I'll be your bestie!

Harry: Yay!

Me: Oh my god. *face palm*

Out of the corner of my eye I saw red and blue flashing lights. Thank god!

Me: Well now the police are here.

The killer looked towards the front of the house and froze.

Liam: Did you really think we weren't gonna call the police?

The killer didn't say anything. He just stood there frozen.

The sirens got closer and no sooner were the police banging on the door. The killer tried to run.

Liam: Don't let him go!

The two of us lunged for the killer, managing to keep him immobile on the floor.

Officer: FREEZE! Put your hands in the air!

We both stood up and put our hands in the air. The killer did too. I was so relieved.

Narrator's POV

The police arrested the killer and took him away. The five of the lads were brought to the hospital to check for any injuries. They all passed as perfectly fine. Except for Niall, Louis, and Harry, who the doctors said were drunk. Wow who knew?

They were released from the hospital not too long after and rented a hotel room for the night.

*the next morning*

Liam: Well that was a night I'll never forget.

Harry: Yeah. We had a lot of fun.

Zayn: Fun?

Louis: Yeah we had fun. Right?

Niall: Didn't something happen when we got back to Liam's place?

Harry: No I don't think so. I don't remember much from last night. Hey why are we even in a hotel?

Louis: Yeah. Payno aren't we supposed to be at your place? What happened?

The three of them looked at Zayn and Liam with confused expressions.

Zayn: You're telling us none of you remember anything from when we got back to Liam's place?

Niall: Um... no?

Louis: Nope.

Harry: Nothing.

Louis: We're we drunk last night?

Liam: Hell yeah.

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Ta da!!!!! What do you guys think??? That was my first ever fanfic so I really hope you liked it!!!😁 Idk about you guys, but I see a whole series forming: "What if One Direction... (insert topic here)" Let me know if you think I should make more of these kinds of fanfics! If you have any ideas, feel free to comment! If I use your idea I'll make sure to credit you for the idea. Thanks for reading! Bye!✌️❤️

Btw I did get some inspiration from Mark Parsons in 'The Adventurous Adventures of One Direction' for one bit of my story (the part where Niall, Louis, and Harry are tied up in the kitchen and Louis and Harry are saying hi to each other) so if you haven't watched his videos and you're a Directioner, I would highly recommend watching his videos. Credit goes to him for that part of my story. Okie byeeee!