Shikamaru Nara: /ANNOUNCEMENT/ <b> <u> <i> I found pictures of our future!!! </b> </u> </i>

•Hinata Hyūga and 69859 others like this.•

Naruto Uzumaki: Oh?! Whaddya mean?

Shikamaru Nara: I found a man that has a jutsu that lets you see your future, and I thought you might like it, although it's... very tiresome.

Naruto Uzumaki: Really?! That seems LIT!

Sakura Haruno: omg I'm cringing

Shikamaru Nara: I wouldn't describe it as "lit", but yeah, it's cool.

Sai: I'm not interested in these videos.~

Naruto Uzumaki: WHATTY

Sakura Haruno: How come?

Sai: Because I already know my future.

Naruto Uzumaki: WHAT?! HOW?!

Sai: I already know it's a future with Ino:)

Ino Yamanaka: IM DEAD

SAI YOU'RE MAKING ME BLUSH

>///<

Sai: Really? I'm just being honest.

Sakura Haruno: Oh my god y'all are too cringy for your own good...

Sai: I wouldn't define it as 'cringy'.

All I'm doing is being honest.

Sakura Haruno: I will not succumb to the cuteness!

I will not succumb to the cuteness!

DAMN IT! Y'ALL ARE TOO CUTE!!

Hinata Hyūga: I wonder who should be your flower girl...

I'm too old...:(

Sai: Hmm, I wonder...

Ino Yamanaka: WAIT SAI IS THAT YOU SAYING YOU WANT TO MARRY ME

Sai: UH UM

Hinata Hyūga: OH MY GOD

Sai: maybe?

Ino Yamanaka: That doesn't count as your proposal! But thanks for the info!

Sakura Haruno: lmao what

Ino Yamanaka: Well~ he isn't the one that insinuated the question~ the answer was forced upon him~ so until it is time~

Naruto Uzumaki: You're talking with so many squiggly thingies!~

Shikamaru Nara: They're known as tildes, thank you very much.

Naruto Uzumaki: Who uses professional language in this day and age? Nobody!

Temari: As someone who claims to be the next Hōkage, are you sure you should be saying that? -.-

Sakura Haruno: Yeah, she has a point, Naruto! You gotta grow up if you're gonna become the Hōkage!

Naruto Uzumaki: WAHHHH! I don't want to do that!

Sai: That is not in the How to Be Hōkage Handbook written by Kakashi-sensei.

Sakura Haruno: I still can't get over how weird it was when he published that... I didn't read it at first, thinking it would be one of those pervy novels he's a fan of.

Sai: Pervy... novels?

Hinata Hyūga: What are those?

Sai: Hinata-sama, do you know??

Hinata Hyūga: Sama? What?

Sai: Well, considering you're going to marry Naruto... and Naruto's the next Hōkage, according to his statements, at least, it would be common manner to refer to you as Hinata-sama.

Hinata Hyūga: Hinata's fine... and I'm not sure I'll marry N-Naruto-kun... although I want to....

Sai: It's improper, according to the guidebook. I'll call you Hinata-sama.

Hinata Hyūga: *sigh* Ok.

Sakura Haruno: Did you just type out an action?

Hinata Hyūga: ....no.

Naruto Uzumaki: LMAOOO

Hinata Hyūga: D-don't laugh at me, N-N-Naruto-kun.

Naruto Uzumaki: I'm sorry!! It's just- that's hilarious!

Hinata Hyūga: I-I dislike being something to laugh at...

Naruto Uzumaki: I didn't mean it like that! Just you're so adorable it's hysterical!

Sai: WHAT? Did D***less just use a big word?

Minato Namikaze: OUR BABY IS GROWING UP!

Kushina Uzumaki: I've never been more proud!!

Karin: Sai, did you just filter a curse word...?

Sai: Yeah... and who are you...?

Karin: Your worst nightmare.

Ino Yamanaka: Karin aside, isn't a bit late for that now, hon? I don't think there's been a filter the last 25 chapters.

Sai: Last... 25 chapters? Have you been reading explicit literature?

Ino Yamanaka: Hehehe. It's just a secret between Reader-chan, Fia-sensei and I, right?;)

Sai: ...Well, that's odd.

Ino Yamanaka: DID YOU JUST CALL YOUR GIRLFRIEND ODD

Sai: No. I didn't call you odd. I called your actions odd.

Ino Yamanaka: SCREW YOU TOO

Sai: Erm.

Ino Yamanaka: Well, I'm going to cool down and log back on later. See ya, Sai~!

Ino Yamanaka has gone offline.

Sai: What was that all about...? Well, guess I'll go check it out....

Sai has gone offline.

Shino Aburame: Another one bites the dust.

And another one gone.

Another one gone.

Another one bites the dust.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Naruto Uzumaki: SHIKAMARU CAN YOU SHOW US THAT LIT THING NOW

•SameOldWeeb and 36659 others like this.•

Shikamaru Nara: Your yelling is bothersome.

Naruto Uzumaki: Oh, really? Sorry...

Shikamaru Nara: It's fine. Anyways, you wanted to see your future?

Naruto Uzumaki: YES YES YES GIMME THAT GOOD STUFF

Shikamaru Nara: That sounds like I'm dealing you something.

Naruto Uzumaki: You're dealing me them good memories! Thanks, man!

Shikamaru Nara: I gotcha bro.

Choji Akimichi: Am I rejected?

Shikamaru Nara: No, Choji. I can have two people who I refer to as "bro". You are not being rejected, and *whisper* you're still my number one bro.

Naruto Uzumaki: I can hear that, you know!

Shikamaru Nara: Technically speaking, you can't.

Naruto Uzumaki: WATCH ME!

Shikamaru Nara: Watch you hear electronic letters on a screen somehow? Sounds tiresome, don't you agree?

Naruto Uzumaki: SHIKAMARU DID YOU JUST SMARTASS ME

Shikamaru Nara: Perhaps.

Naruto Uzumaki: What, did you take drugs or something?

Jūgo: DID YOU TAKE FEEL GOOD COOKIES

Shikamaru Nara: Normal looking chocolate chip cookies with maroon colored chocolate chips?

Naruto Uzumaki: That sounds utterly disgusting, lol.

Jūgo: Yes, Yes, Yes! They have returned! The cookies that limit cursing, make sexual behaviors ensue, or, in best cases, do both!

Naruto Uzumaki: THAT SOUNDS COOL BRAH

Jūgo: Thanks. Want one?

Naruto Uzumaki: 'Ttebayo!

Jūgo: I'll take that as a yes.

Naruto Uzumaki: 'Ttebayo!

Jūgo: YAYYYY FEEL-GOOD COOKIES!

hidanbae: you gotta be forkin with me...

How did I manage to eat one of those god damned feel good cookies again?

You're not even in the Akatsuki anymore.

So, HOW IN THE WORLD DID THIS HAPPEN

Jūgo: Nobody's in the Akatsuki anymore... Didn't everyone just kinda leave?

hidanbae: Wym?

Jūgo: Nvm. Teehee.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Temari:@ShikamaruNara. The topic has been changed too many god damn times.

•Naruto Uzumaki and 4059449583 others like this.•Shikamaru Nara is frightened by this.•

Shikamaru Nara: Ha... what do you mean?

Temari: The future-seeing thing?

Naruto Uzumaki: YEAH, I wanna know what it is!

Shikamaru Nara: Apparently Naruto was too dense to realize it, but Naruto found this rather troublesome thing. It's called called a Googler, and it searches the "web" for anything you might need to find. And after he left... but he's back now, I tried it out. You can search up your future.

Temari: Holy shit

Hinata Hyuuga: That's interesting... Shikamaru, you said Naruto was "with you" where exactly is "with you"?

Shikamaru Nara: Locked in my Shadow Jutsu so he won't search anything up until you guys get here... How troublesome.

Chouji Akimichi: Huh... I'll go.

Sakura Haruno: Me too!

Rock Lee: THAT FUTURE OF OLD US IS YOUTHFULLLL

Shino Aburame: I wonder if I'll have love...

Kiba Inuzuka: It's ok bro. We were meant to be single.

Shino Aburame: thanks bro

Kiba Inuzuka: no prob bro

Shikamaru Nara: It's getting rather troublesome typing whilst holding Naruto in a jutsu... I'm logging off, aka, turning off the device, and I'll give you twenty minutes to meet me. Temari, you have no excuse. You're in Konoha right now.

Temari: Shit!

Shikamaru Nara has logged off.

Shikamaru Nara has logged on.

Temari: THAT WAS NOT 20 MINUTES

Shikamaru Nara: Well, after I logged off, I realized nobody really needs to "meet me". I can just show you the images of the future here.

Temari: Solid.

Shikamaru Nara: ...Solid?

Temari: Solid.

Shikamaru Nara: ...Alright then. Solids aside, I have already "searched up"- that's apparently the term for it, pictures of your offspring.

So, gather around.

Naruto Uzumaki: THE CAMPFIRE AND SING OUR CAMPFIRE SONG

Rock Lee: OUR C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G SONG

Gai: And if you don't think that we can singer faster than your wrong,

Kakashi Hatake: Why in the world am I doing this...?

But it'll help you just sing along!!!

Choji Akimichi: BA BA BA

Temari: Stop. If you're even slightly interested in your futures, you will shut the FORK up and listen to Shikamaru. Otherwise- get the fork out of this chat. Now.

Shoo.

Go on.

Naruto Uzumaki: EEEP YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS SCARING ME SHIKAMARU

Temari: G-g-girlfriend??????

Shikamaru Nara: I'll avoid inserting myself into this conversation and attempt to change the topic....

So, whose up first?

Sai: I'll go first.

Sakura Haruno: Thought you weren't interested ??

Sai: I'm not. I'm sure of the outcome. But since
D***less can't grow the balls to go first, I'll go.

Naruto Uzumaki: MCSCUSE ME

Sai: Sorry. I offended you. Sincerest apologies.

Ino Yamanaka: I'm sorry for Sai! He's still learning, I promise!

Sakura Haruno: LMAO are you his mom

Ino Yamanaka: No. I'm his girlfriend. I'm something you will never be to Sasuke, pinkette.

Naruto Uzumaki: SHOTS FIYERD

Sakura Haruno: T R I G G E R E D W A R N I N G

Hinata Hyūga: Let's all be friendly and listen to Shikamaru! :))

Naruto Uzumaki: YEA BE FRIENDLY

Sakura Haruno: Ugh, Fine.

Ino Yamanaka: YAYYY! Now I can see our child, Sai~!

Sai: Yay?

Ino Yamanaka: What's with the question mark? Are you not excited?

Sai: No. I am, promise. I just don't know what "yay" means.

Ino Yamanaka: AWEEE YOU'RE SO CUTE

Shikamaru Nara: Ok.

I'll post it now. Ready?

Ino Yamanaka: Ready as I'll ever be.

Sai: Yes, I guess.

Shikamaru Nara: Alright.

Ino Yamanaka: OMG! He looks just like you!

Sai: Uh... the first two are me.

Ino Yamanaka: OMG! I'd never seen your childhood pictures! You were so adorable!

Temari: Ugh. It's going to be these two discussing their baby for a while. Anywho....

*~*~*~*

Temari: HEHEHHEHEEHEHEHHEEH

•Shikamaru Nara and 4959438 others like this.•

Shikamaru Nara: Since it's troublesome to search people up, Temari's doing it now. Did you find something?

Temari: APPARENTLY INOJIN... Ino and Sai's son... is SHIPPED WITH

Hinata Hyūga: Ooh~! You can even search that up? That device is useful!!

Temari: Well, I'm not positive, but like, you scroll through the pictures... and at first, they seem normal...

Ino Yamanaka: AAHH HE'S SO CUTE

Temari: But then, your daughter, Hinata... starts to fill up the page...

OH AND HE'S ALSO SHIPPED WITH SOMEONE THAT LOOKS IDENTICAL TO SHIKAMARU

Shikamaru Nara: I have a kid? That sounds to troublesome....

Hinata Hyūga: D-d-d-oes that mean I-I-I-I h-h-have a kid with N-N-Naruto-kun?

Naruto Uzumaki: I do not approve of this relationship. Goodbye.

Sai: But!

Naruto Uzumaki: No.

Hinata Hyūga has gone offline.

Temari: You have two, actually...

Ino Yamanaka: GO INOJIN WOOOOO

Temari: Well, actually, I think Inojin is just shipped with the entire friend group... so...

I'm not going to search up more...

Choji Akimichi: OMG I HAVE A CHILD

I THOUGHT I WAS SINGLE FOREVER

HALLELUJAH

Could you search up how they look, please?:)

Temari: Gotcha.

Naruto Uzumaki: You... you marry Karui?

Ino Yamanaka: ?

?

Shikamaru Nara: ?

Choji Akimichi: ?

TenTen: I am confusion.

Do I ever have children?

Or a boyfriend?

Temari: .....

....

But you own a weapons shop!

AND WANNA KNOW WHO CHOUCHOU IS SHIPPED WITH? (Well, other than Shikadai and Inojin...)

It's fucking hilarious.

Choji Akimichi: Sure! I'll make sure they avoid each other:)

Temari: So, Orochimaru has a son...

Choji Akimichi: No.

Naruto Uzumaki: What?

Shikamaru Nara: ???

Ino Yamanaka: I am confused.

TenTen: I am confusion.

Temari: ANDDDDDD

Sakura Haruno: ???? he looks cute tho???

OMG WAIT HE'S OROCHIMARU'S SON?!

Choji Akimichi: He's so... snakelike.

Temari: Rock Lee! Are you interested in your child?

Rock Lee: I have one?

Temari: Yep.

Rock Lee: YA! LEMME SEE 'EM! THEY'LL BE YOUTHFUL!

Sakura Haruno: He looks so much like you...

It's scary.

Rock Lee: But he's youthful!! Does he have any ships?

Temari: Yep. He's apparently shipped with Naruto's sunflower child as well.

TenTen: That's soo cute!

Shikamaru Nara: Why don't you search up Naruto's child(ren) as well?

Temari: Aye aye cap'n.

The first one looks nothing like Hinata...

Naruto Uzumaki: Yep! He looks just like me!  Yay!

Shikamaru Nara: I wonder who he's shipped with...

Temari: Apparently there's this class rep, the snake guy, and Sarada...

Sakura Haruno: Sarada?

Temari: Ya, I think she's your daughter with Sasuke.

Sakura Haruno: EAT THAT INO

Ino Yamanaka: I'm happy for you. I don't care about Sasuke anymore. I have Sai:)

Sakura Haruno: Speaking of that, where is Sai? He didn't respond with a sweet message, which means he's doing something. What is it?

*~*~*~*~*

A little while ago...

*~*~*~*~*

Weasel Tomato: Maybe I should go back to Konoha... everybody's growing up, falling in love and... I don't want to be alone....

•Tsunade Senju and 460 others like this.•

Tsunade Senju: Go back...? Wait a second...

itachibae: You really should of thought of that before you left Konoha.

Sasuke Uchiha: I really should of...

itachibae: You didn't perform a massacre. You can probably go back without a care in the world. =)

Sasuke Uchiha: ... Really?

Tsunade Senju: Yeah, if you agree that you won't ever, under any fucking circumstance, leave Sakura alone, betray her and Konoha, break anyone's heart, hurt anyone, physically or mentally EVER AGAIN.

Sasuke Uchiha: ....

itachibae: If you really wanna go back, now's the best time, my foolish brother.

Sasuke Uchiha: ...Okay.

Tsunade Senju: Know that if it wasn't for Naruto Uzumaki believing you, you're head would be chopped off and you would of been dead meat.

Sasuke Uchiha: ...

Tsunade Senju: Apologize to all of the people you hurt, the ones you broke, and the ones you made scars that could never be cured.

Sasuke Uchiha: ...

Tsunade Senju: You should be pleading, on your knees, asshole.

If you refuse to come back, if you don't agree to all of this... I'll hire ANBU, thousands, to hunt you down, kill you, in your weak, vulnerable state of mind. Then, I swear, you will make up for your sins in Hell.

Sasuke Uchiha: I know I had wrongdoings in the past. I'm still having them. But, please. Let me enter Konoha. I'll apologize to everyone, I'll make up everything I've done, or at least try to. I know I hurt people, so bad they couldn't be cured, but give me a second chance.

Tsunade Senju: That's what I wanted to hear!

Sasuke Uchiha: ...

Tsunade Senju: You can come back, just know I will never forgive you for the shinobi you've hurt in your edgy phase.

Sasuke Uchiha: I know.

Tsunade Senju has gone offline.

Sasuke Uchiha has gone offline.

itachibae: I feel accomplished=)))

*~*~*~*

Currently...

*~*~*~*

Sasuke Uchiha: I'm on my way... back to Konoha. My way back to Konoha!

•Naruto Uzumaki And 5939583 others like this.•

Suigetsu Hozuki: What about us?

Sasuke Uchiha: You're free.

Karin: ....Free? That's interesting. I'm sorry for saying I love you, Sasuke-kun, when it's clear you have feelings for someone else... and I think, perhaps, so do I. Goodbye, have an amazing time in Konoha, chasing that blonde boy of your dreams.

Sasuke Uchiha: Wow, I expected you to be totally annoying about it... Thanks, Karin. Jugo, I hope you and Hidan become canon! Suigetsu, get that girl you've been crushing for. And Karin, did you say blonde? I'm not gay!!! At least, I don't think I am??

Karin: ...Sure.;))

Jugo: I don't like Hidan! Damn it!

Suigetsu Hozuki: Sure.;)

Sasuke Uchiha: Well, bye guys. See you around.

Sai: You.. know this conversation isn't private, right?

Sasuke Uchiha: Aw shit!! Who are you anyways?

Sai: Pretty much your replacement from Konoha.

Sasuke Uchiha: Oh.

Sai: Yeah.

Sasuke Uchiha: This is awkward!!

Sai: Don't think I'll ever forgive you, alright? You hurt my teammates and so many more. Can't you see that? Why in the world did you leave in the first place? I'm not gonna "steal your girl" or your man, I've already found mine. If you hurt anyone I am.. friends? That's an interesting word. Friends, I guess, with, I will be a ball of scorching anger towards you. But, for now, let's act like I don't know what you've done, and like it's a clean slate... alright?

Sasuke Uchiha: What's with all these people and calling me gay? I'm not... am I?

Sai has gone offline.

Sasuke Uchiha, questioning his sexuality, has gone offline.

*~*~*~*~*

Ino Yamanaka: Sai, are you okay...?

•Sai and 59385 others like this.•

Sai: Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry for not responding:)

Ino Yamanaka: What happened?

Sai: I just had some ....business to take care of with that stinking Uchiha.

Ino Yamanaka: Sasuke?

Sai: Don't worry about it. Everything's okay, I promise.:)

Ino Yamanaka: If you say so....

*~*~*~*

A Few, well, not as many as you may think, years later...

*~*~*~*

Ino Yamanaka: Hey Sai... that future discussed a few years ago may not be as far away as we think.

•IAmConfusion and 35764 others like this.•

Sai: ? How come?

Ino Yamanaka: I'm pregnant.

Sai: ......

......

.....

Yay.

Choji Akimichi: YOU GOT HER PREGNANT? DISGUSTING

Sai: Don't argue with me. Isn't Karui pregnant?

Choji Akimichi: SHIT HOWD YOU KNOW

Sai: Well... isn't my son the latest born... excluding Naruto's sunflower child? Which means all these girls knew they were having babies and some are about to go into labor? Or, worse yet, they've already had their babies?

Sakura Haruno: ....

Sasuke Uchiha: ...

Ino Yamanaka: At least I came out about it! I'm disappointed in y'all! But... shit. We're officially old now.

Hinata Hyūga: Hehe, yeah. Boruto's due tomorrow.

Sakura Haruno: HOLY SHIT HINATA

Hinata Hyūga: ;)

Sakura Haruno: Should you really be texting when you're most likely giving birth tomorrow...?

Hinata Hyūga: Don't worry about it.

Ino Yamanaka: How did I not notice your weight gain?

Hinata Hyūga: Because I've been staying fit and healthy!!:)

Ino Yamanaka: You're my aspiration now. To be pregnant and still act completely normal... that's amazing!!:)

Hinata Hyūga: Anyways- I just had to be on. Today's the last day of Facebook, right?

Ino Yamanaka: Yeah. They're shutting it down due to a pink-haired hacker.

Hinata Hyūga: What a shame. I would of loved to pass it down to the next generation....

Hinata Hyūga has gone offline.

TenTen: WHAT DID SHE GO INTO LABOR OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT

Naruto Uzumaki: I-I DON'T THINK SO UHHHH

TenTen: NARUTO GO AND CHECK UP ON YOUR WIFE NOW

Naruto Uzumaki: AYE

Naruto Uzumaki has (frantically) gone offline.

Shikamaru Nara: Facebook systems shutting down in....
10...

9...

Choji Akimichi: So you really were a Facebook employee? That's what happened to newbs4daiz?

Shikamaru Nara: 8...

Sakura Haruno: AND YOU'RE THE PERSON THAT SHUT IT DOWN BACK IN THE DAY?!

Shikamaru Nara: 7...

Rock Lee: And the one that interrupted our O wars?

Shikamaru Nara: 6...

Temari: Damn....

Shikamaru Nara: 5...

Naruto Uzumaki: Well, I guess we'll just start chatting IRL now! Haha.

Shikamaru Nara: 4...

Ino Yamanaka: Thank you, Readers! I love you all~! Just as much as Sai. Without you, this wouldn't of been possible. The amount of reads this received has been amazing! Thank you!

Shikamaru Nara: 3...

Jūgo: Thank you for all the Feel-Good cookies I've sold! I'm planning on teaming up with the Girl Scout Corporation and selling them! Couldn't of done all that without you, Facebook-ies!

Shikamaru Nara: 2...

Gaara Of The Sand: Although I didn't use this much, it was nice to have! Thank you.

Shikamaru Nara: 1...

Sai: Goodbye.

System Shut Down.

With that, a message was broadcast on the servers.

H-hello! It's me, H-Hinata Hyūga. In case you haven't learned, I'm expecting. But~ I couldn't of done it without FB. Facebook allowed me to somehow become close to the man I loved. When I was kinda- uh, triggered at Sakura... I was able to do that at Facebook! Thank you.

Hey Facebook! It's me, Rock Lee- I don't have much to say! All that's important is... FACEBOOK WAS YOUTHFUL. And you, whoever you are, are too!

Hello... I am Orochimaru. What? I'm evil? Nah. I'm just your everyday, no gender genius. I haven't been on Facebook, in a while, if ever, but, I heard it was young with the kiddos. So, when asked to write this letter, I just wrote this. Goodbye.

Ayeeeeee it's ya boiiiiiiiiiiii Naruto! Facebook was HELLA LIT YA DUDE, DATTEBAYO!

Uh, what?! I'm doing this. Ok. I'm Sakura Haruno. All I've really done on Facebook is watch as my friends fall in love and get triggered. But it was a fun system to hac- play around with! And I can't wait to do that again! It was fun! See ya!

YO FACEBOOK WAS EXPLODO-AWESOME! -Deidara

I'm selling Feel-Good-Cookies for the cheap cheap (actually cheap though) price of 200 yen! Yum! -Jugo❤️

Facebook was neat. I got to make fun of Shikamaru a lot, so that was fun. See you on whatever the next trend is. From, Temari.

I'm still alone. -Shino

You thought I wouldn't say anything? Psssh. Wasn't I an important part of this series? Everyone and everything that happened was amazing! I enjoyed everything that happened... and that boat ride that rose from this... was pretty nice, too. Love, Ino.

It was nice to fall in love and talk on here. -Sai

Ugh, this is troublesome. Yep, I'm Shikamaru Nara. Member of the Board of Facebook & advisor to the beloved sixth Hōkage. I've worked here since the beginning- and all my friends used it. Once I learned that, I was tired and bothered all the time. But, I eventually got over it. This is still tiresome though. From, Anon, aka Shikamaru Nara.

The message was shared and the Facebook Devices simply turned into pieces of bark.