"Merry Christmas, Eunji. Hope you're having a good holiday," followed by a smiley face.

She stared at the message for the umpteenth time that day, before pressing the power button on the side of her phone lightly, making the screen fade to black.

***

Back in Seoul, Junmyeon kept fooling around with his phone, unable to tear his eyes away from the "Read" notification beside his message. Even though he'd sent her that message earlier that day, and she'd also read it, she hadn't replied to it. 

She's probably still shocked over yesterday...

He leaned back in his chair and sighed. This was one of the only times in the entire year he could come home to get smothered by his mother and harassed by his brother. He was only going to be here for a few days, and since they'd been on tour during the summer that year he hadn't been able to see them except for some random face chats spread out over three weeks or so. 

He missed his family terribly. And yet, when he had the chance to come back home, he couldn't get his mind off Eunji.

Maybe it was because of the way they'd left things. 

Unsure and lost after their Christmas Live, after which Eunji blatantly avoided him and virtually hid until it was time to go home, he had consulted Baekhyun on what to do. He'd gone far enough just following his instincts and causing emotional trouble and he wanted direction, guidance. He didn't specifically care that it came from someone younger than him, as long as that person knew what they were doing.

"You need to take a step back and look at the bigger picture," Baekhyun told him. "The vacation will be a good opportunity to do just that."

While he trusted his brother's advice, he still wanted another opinion. This led to him sending a message to Taeyeon on the night before Christmas, which led to her calling him and him telling her about everything; the scandal, the deal, the fake relationship, and then, finally, his confession.

She had stayed silent all through his explanation. "So, what do I do now?" he asked.

He heard her take a deep breath. "You've already talked to Baekhyun, right?" she asked. "He'd have given you the same advice that I'd give you; take some time off."

"But do you really think I should? I mean, from a woman's perspective..."

"Suho, Eunji's going through a lot. She needs time to process her own feelings as well as your sudden confession. I would say give her time, and even you need to get away from it all for a while."

"Why? Is it because distance can make you realize what you really want?"

"In a way, I guess, but it's mostly because you're in danger of investing too much of yourself into her. That's something you can't, and can't ever, do. Due to the nature of our jobs, we need to sometimes reassess our priorities."   

"Did you ever have to reassess your priorities?"

A moment of silence drifted down upon them as the senior idol pondered over her junior's question. He then heard her sigh on the other end of the line. "Every single day."

"And...do those priorities ever involve Baekhyun?" he continued to question.

She hummed in agreement. "Baekhyun's always been a priority. There are times when I'd have him at the utmost top, but I can't. It's just something that comes with being an idol, I guess. But I was talking about you."

"So...what do you think I should do?"

"Spend some time with the people you truly care about, your family. Have a good holiday, keep in contact with the members, reconnect with old friends. Pause the game for a bit to get your life in order. Handle Eunji's situation once you return."

He nodded, the advice was good, really good. Another thought then struck him. "Hey, you're not pissed that we kept something like that from you?"

"Oh, I am pissed. Especially pissed because my boyfriend kept something important like that from me, but I understand it's not his fault and that he was trying to protect his leader. But I do demand an explanation from you once you're back from your vacation."

"Thanks, Noona. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Suho."

***

She spends three days mulling over it, eventually succumbs to her burning desire to talk to someone and ends up calling Naeun on the 29th.

"Unnie? What's wrong?"

"Sorry to call you when you're visiting your family, Naeun-ah," she apologized. "I...just...needed to talk to someone."

Naeun stayed quiet for a second, which was probably the longest second of Eunji's life. "Go on..."

Eunji took a deep breath. "You saw what happened on the Christmas Live, didn't you?"

"Yeah, I saw it on the TV."

"And you understood what was going on, right?"

"Of course I did. Suho confessed to you."

Eunji stayed silent as a lump began to form in her throat. "Did he do anything else?" Naeun softly asked.

"He...he just...sent me Christmas wishes..." Eunji said, taking pauses. "Apart from...apart from that...nothing."

There was a minute of just silence as Naeun processed the information. "How long has it been since you've heard anything from him?" she finally asked once more.

"Four...four days..."

"And what exactly did you call me for?"

Eunji bit her lip. "I...I don't know what to do, Naeun-ah," she said, her voice cracking. "I don't know what to do about anything!" As the tears welled up in her eyes, she took a shaky breath in and stabilized her voice, trying not to let the tears fall. "I'm lost, Naeun-ah. I'm well and truly lost in this maze."

Naeun then decided to speak up. "You've avoided Suho for nearly a week, right?"

Eunji shakily nodded, even though Naeun wouldn't be able to see it. The younger woman however got the picture. "And do you know what your feelings are for him?"

Eunji let out a shaky laugh. "That's what I can't understand..." she said. "I can't understand why I feel like this. It doesn't feel like love, at least not how it's supposed to feel like."

"What do you mean, Unnie?"

"I mean...don't you know...like I don't feel overwhelmed...like..."

"Like you're being swept off your feet?" Naeun interjected.

"Y-yeah," Eunji agreed. 

"Then what do you feel?"

"I...uh...I feel like I want to see him again," she tearfully admitted. "I...I want to talk to him again. I want to eat with him, and joke with him, and be with him, and touch him-" She then quickly clamped a hand over her mouth as she mentally went over what she just said.

Naeun spoke up after a few moments. "Unnie," she said, "you like Suho."

"Huh? Eunji asked. "I do?"

"Those things you said, about wanting to see more of him and be with him more? That's called liking someone. Unnie, even though you don't know it, you like Suho too."

"But..."

"I know it doesn't feel the way it did when you were filming that drama. It never does. I was surprised too, to be honest, when I realized the difference between having feelings and having platonic feelings for someone. It was shocking, and like having all my dreams crash and burn. but at the end of the day...I was alright with it, because reality was always better than a drama or some variety show."

Eunji kept quiet, taking it all in as a couple of tears escaped from her eyes. "The point, Unnie, is that you're experiencing feelings that you've never had before. Maybe that's why it's like a shock to you. But let's get down to the root of the problem; you want to spend more time with Suho, don't you?"

Eunji nodded. "Yeah."

"You want to be with him more, don't you?"

"Yeah."

"Then I guess that's all there is to it," Naeun concluded.

"So..what should I do?"

"Keep your distance for now, enjoy the holidays. You'll know what to do once you return to Seoul and see him again."

***

A/N: And here is the obligatory chapter where the completely clueless author attempts to deconstruct something she'd never felt before.

But I'm genuinely curious, has this revelation ever happened to you? Where you realize that love as described by fairy tales is nothing but pure infatuation, and actually liking someone is something completely different?

I also finally managed to find a subbed version of Kim Myungsoo's (INFINITE's L) latest drama "I want to protect you one more time", and I watched all eight episodes in a single afternoon. It was fun, and a good storyline if it was polished a slight bit more. But then again, I'm no professional.

I also wanted to share that really good photo of Suho and Eunji taken during their run on "Saving Santa", where they played the main leads in the Korean dub of the animated film.

Have a good day!