14 December 2020

Gangnam-Seoul

Octagon Club

Amidst the noise and loud music that were accompanied by the excited voices of the young crowd, I took a breath of my chocolate martini and let the sweetness of the chocolate alleviate my discomfort. As always, at Chan Hyung's insistence, we came to a new club that his friend had introduced and emphasised that it would be one of our best experiences, but seeing Hyung's condition, who was on his phone the whole time, I can clearly say that his friend's definition of a good club meets Hyung's standards. It's different. I yawned and, while putting a hand on the back of my neck, I turned towards him and looked at him with despair. Almost shouting so he could hear me, I said, "Hyung, shall we go?" Upon hearing my voice, he lifted his head from his mobile and took a sip of his whisky, which had fully melted, and laughed. "Why should we go? Aren't you enjoying yourself?" I took the phone from his hand and put it aside. I raised an eyebrow and said with displeasure, "If you're having so much fun, then why is your head on the phone and not joining in?" "God, Hyung, what creature are you?" He laughed and nodded, got up, went to the dance floor and started dancing along with the rhythm of the song.

While he was laughing drunkenly and sipping whisky in his hand, he pointed to the bar and raised his glass. I wish I hadn't followed Hyung's gaze. Only one man was sitting in the red chair at the bar. He was the one who had created a beautiful scene with his outstretched white hands and was quietly enjoying his drink. The white shirt and blue jeans, in combination with his long silky black hair, created a beautiful tension. Gosh, I never get curious to see someone's face, but I was counting the moment for his return.

For God's sake, just turn to the crowd for a moment, wait, HE HAS A TATTOO?!! He has a tattoo on his right hand...Wow, now I have that innocent look again that Chan Hyung can kill me for it.

"It's fun now, inn it?" I came to my senses with Hyung's voice and laughed, "I'm dying to see what he looks like, Hyung." I was laughing nervously and playing with my martini.

He put his hand around my neck and between his laughs, he said, "Well, why are you waiting, go ahead and order again." It wasn't a bad idea, but I don't know why I didn't have the courage. This man was very mysterious to me, and I used to be shy in such situations!

"Hyung, what if he isn't gay? What if he's one of those homophobic people and insults me? What if someone is in his life? Wow, how embarrassing, even the thought of being the third wheel drives me crazy." Chan-Hyung took a deep breath out of embarrassment and tousled his hair. He held my shoulder and said in a cracked voice, "Idiot, you've started making scenarios for yourself again? Throw away the buts and the ifs and go to him first, maybe you won't like his face at all." Completely disappointed, I looked at him as he was ordering his fourth drink

" I wish I could suppress all the buts and ifs in my mind, but you know I can't."

He nodded with an encouraging smile and patted my shoulder, "Do you want to completely ignore this feeling of curiosity and just sit and look at it and create a scenario for yourself?" I nodded and agreed to go, "let's go, Hyung."

I forgot to introduce myself. Hi, my name is Lee Felix. I am 24 years old and I am the owner of a small pastry cafe in Namsan. Chan-Hyung is also one of my cousins. We are from Australia and we came to Korea since we were teenagers to pursue our dreams.

Bang Chan is 27 years old and an underground producer and songwriter. He has a studio with two of his friends, Changbin-Hyung & Jisung-Hyung, and he is very busy, but he always has time for me. We live together, but it is very rare that we are together in the house at the same time. Can you keep a secret? He is addicted to work and loves his lifestyle. Welcome to my tumultuous life!

During the two months that have passed since I met that mysterious man in the club, I went to the same club almost every night after closing the café with or without Hyung. At the beginning, I was just sitting and waiting to see him, and when he didn't come, I went home. You have no idea how much Chan-Hyung used to annoy me and laugh at me, but little by little, I got used to his coming and going. He always comes at 1 am, wearing a black mask and a cap, and sits exactly in his usual place. He sits on the second red chair on the left side of the bar and gives his usual order - first a margarita, followed by a whisky without ice, then gin and vodka. Along with all his drinks, he likes to eat cereal and peanuts! The bartender seems to know him well; otherwise, which bar serves cereals with his drinks?

I have learned some of his habits; for example, until he is drunk, he is an introvert, but then magic happens, and he turns into a charming creature that damn He is adorable or claps his hands while laughing. I heard his laughter perhaps three times in these two months...Did I mention his ear-splitting voice? Or the habit of tying hair with an elastic band after his third dive? I wish I had the courage to confront him and start talking to him, so that I could see the face of my mysterious man who deprived me of sleep and food.
You know, Chan-Hyung always tells me that instead of getting on my brain and bothering me with your words, open your heart and go to him whether he likes you or not.

It's funny if I say how much I love the smell of wet and smoky pine wood out of all the different smells. I searched for it, but it seems like it was not found at all. Chan-Hyung followed me from one shop to another but did not find anything like that.

Hyung knows my morals well after all these years and he always tells me that there is nothing impossible for me!!! I know now I look like a stalker in your eyes, but believe me,

I can't move forward. Hyungs talked to me like a million times, but nothing happens!

Today, while baking brownies, I was listening to the customers' conversations, and I learned from their words that Valentine's Day is in a few days, and one of them was excitedly talking about the plan she had for her boyfriend.

"You know, Helen, Peter loves milk chocolate and carnations. I would like to make him a bouquet of chocolate flowers." Hearing the tone of the girl, a smile appeared on my lips and a thought came to my mind.

Why don't I get him flowers and chocolates? I can do a better job. Dumb Felix, be a creative confectioner. Think well, he has a habit of eating peanuts and a sweet treat with his drink, so I can show my interest with chocolates filled with caramel and peanuts and a little pink salt."

"Hyung, who are you talking to, or should I say, who are you talking about?" "What are you talking about?" I came to myself with Jeongin's surprised voice and tried to prepare the customer's order. He came closer and, with his shiny eyes and while smiling stupidly, he said softly in my ear, "Hyung, you fell in love, didn't you?"

I turned my head towards him and looked at him. He laughed and started to put the prepared orders in the tray to take away. "Hyung, why don't you make brownies for him?" "All customers love your brownies, so he must like it." He winked and left the kitchen.

12 February 2021

I looked at the clock and waited for the last customer to leave, I did the cleaning and sent a message to Chan-Hyung, "Hyung, are you coming with me tonight?" I put the phone aside and looked at the purple box that I had prepared with a smile. "I hope you bring me luck, make him happy" He responded "Sorry, tonight I'm with the lads, we have to stay at Studio Felix. Good luck. I'll see you at home." With the sound of the bell above the door, I realized that the last customer had left. I opened my apron and took the box, turned off the lights and closed the café. Tonight, there was a cool breeze, and the sky was full of stars. I got a bunch of narcissi - you know that the narcissus is a symbol of a new beginning - I hope it will make good things happen.

Tonight, I decided to wear the simplest clothes I have; brown trousers with a cream sweatshirt and a mustard coat. It was around 12 o'clock, and I left the house and went to my regular club, praying that he would come. The club was noisy and crowded as usual. I looked around, but he still hadn't arrived. I ordered a chocolate martini and sat down at a table. My whole body was shaking from excitement and stress, and my heart was beating so fast that I could hear the sound of it in my ears.

With my phone vibrating in my pocket whilst sipping a little of my martini, I glanced at the message, "Hyung, in the last two months, I have completely noticed the change in your mood and outlook on everything. I am very happy that you have decided to finally step forward. I hope you have the biggest smile on your face tomorrow, good luck." Reading this boy's message made my heart feel warm and I smiled. I answered very briefly, "Thank you." I put the phone away and sipped my martini.

With the passage of time, the smile slowly faded from my lips. I looked at the clock and the scenarios started to flash in my mind. Is he coming tonight? Wow, if he doesn't come, I've lost my chance even before I see him, let alone confess to him and tell him how much I fell in love with every detail of his behaviour and appearance. WTF, I'm so negative, there's still half an hour left, I wish Chan-Hyung was here with me, I'm dying of stress. By the way, why did I get brownies and flowers? I overdid it!!! GOSH, I'm so stupid. Two days left for Valentine's Day.

Then I bought flowers and bake brownies for my crush to propose and confess that I love him. How humble and poor I am going to look in his eyes now that I made such a move!

"Hyunjin's POV".

I closed my eyes, more tired than ever, and immersed myself in the lyrics and rhythm of my favourite song that was playing on the radio. Today, like the rest of my life, I was drawing from early morning until late evening and thinking about the unknown future.

I was a stubborn person who had worked towards my dreams for as long as I can remember, experiencing many failures and hearing bitter and sweet words. You know, sometimes people can become the cruellest creatures on this planet. Finally, I was able to prove to all the people who judged me early and underestimated me that they were wrong. Now, I, Hwang Hyunjin, at the age of 27, was able to become a painter who is supported by the best and most beautiful souls. I was admired and encouraged to continue living in this grey world.

About 5 years ago, with the help of one of my friends, I was able to open a small painting workshop in one of the back alleys of Myeongdong, and spend my days teaching painting to anyone who loves to paint in the grey world, and little by little, I was able to become a professional artist. At the beginning, they were afraid of me and ran away because of my appearance, sometimes I saw small children staring at me and running away, or they had a hard time trusting me. Life in this world where everything revolves around the standards of external beauty is very difficult, but since I am stubborn, I was able to smile at the lips that once avoided me.

You know, from a certain age, you don't bother messing with the evils of the world anymore, and you let time, when all the pieces are lost, the puzzle in people's minds is put aside, and little by little, everything returns to its beautiful routine. My first student was an old couple. It was lovely that they wanted to paint each other for the first and last time before they forgot each other completely and appreciated each other for the long years they lived together. It was the most beautiful day and the passers-by saw the beautiful scene created by those two people and were eager to take a look at the workshop. Slowly, the number of my students increased and I was able to settle the debts.

With the sound of my phone ringing, I came out of the world of thoughts and imagination and cleaned my hands and looked at the phone screen, "I want you to forget about that small workshop tonight and make us proud and eat dinner with us." I smiled. And I stared at the name that was the only companion of my past days. I raised an eyebrow and started to type, "Thank you, Hyung, but I have to finish an order that will not be delivered for a long time. I will make you proud one day more."

Many wonderful people aren't with me, but Hyung and his family have stood by me since the darkest days of my life and turned on the lights, supported me without judgment. I don't want to be impolite, but tonight is a family celebration, and I can't be with them.

The scent of damp Christmas tree filled the workshop space, and the darkness of the air spoke of the time that had passed. As I took off my apron, I went back to check the painting from a distance. I looked at the clock. I didn't have anyone waiting for me at home, so I decided to spend tonight drinking and having fun with one of my old classmates. Therefore, I changed my clothes and took my black mask and hat from the table.

Outside the workshop, I didn't have anything in common with anyone, and I didn't have many friends to chat with. Thus, I became the same quiet and cold creature that I am in the eyes of others and continued with my life. Tonight, I was wearing blue jeans and a simple white shirt. I wore a thin jacket. I could smell the scent of damp pine tree on my clothes, but what did it matter, I closed the workshop door and went to Octagon Club.

December 14, 2020

"Hyunjin's Pov"

The club was crowded and noisy as usual.I didn't even need to look around, so I went straight to the bar and sat on my usual seat. I took off my hat and mask and knocked on the counter twice as usual. He turned to me, while obsessively cleaning a glass, winked, and tickled my ears with his warm voice, "Would you like to see the same Hyung?" I nodded and placed my hand under my chin before speaking to him in a hushed tone so as not to be heard by Seungmin. "Are things going well?" He nodded and placed a margarita glass in front of me before gifting me with a smile and placing a small bowl of peanuts and cereal alongside it. "Try not to overdo it tonight, Hyung, have you checked the group? The high school kids are having a party." I tasted my drink and looked at him nonchalantly. "You know, I don't have the patience for those people who will bring up the past and feel sorry for me." He was busy preparing the unfinished orders that he had. He decided to nod his head and continue his work.

I was shaking my head a little with the rhythm of the song and playing with my glass of whisky, I don't know why I felt that someone was staring at me and I didn't feel good. I put some peanuts in my mouth so that I could tolerate the bitterness and spiciness of the whisky, and I felt so wretched that I didn't even understand what Seungmin was saying, and when he put the third glass in front of me, I came to my senses. I tied my hair with a ribbon that I always have in my left hand.

Seungmin was quieter for a while; he stood in front of me, scratched his nose a little, and said hesitantly, "Hyung, I hope you don't mind me being nosy, but a boy has been looking at you for a while now. Can you describe what he looks like?" Seungmin went to the other side of the bar to take care of the customer. While I tasted my drink, I looked at the small mirror on the shelf. This mirror was the only way to get information without turning to the crowd. So, no one was shocked to see the wound on my right nose and cheek, and their look was not filled with pity. I moved and faced the shiniest eyes staring at my back and forgot to breathe for a moment.

This boy was beautiful and pleasant. I couldn't see many details of him at this distance, but his black hair and grey suit had a beautiful harmony. Even that loose tie of his could not reduce anything from the beauty I saw. A handsome boy put his hand around his neck and said something to him with a laugh. I could feel his distress. I lowered my head and continued drinking.

I don't know why, but I didn't feel tormented any more, maybe because it was clear to me who was looking at me. How did I know that he was looking at me? There are so many drunk people behind me living their best life and having fun. When my glass was empty, Seungmin put my last favorite drink, vodka, in front of me and held his phone in front of my face.

I laughed when I saw the picture, "Oh my God, did you finally come to your senses and buy it?" He was going to answer cheerfully, but a customer arrived and he left. I was used to this kind of behavior. I have known Seungmin since I was 15 years old. At that time, kids used to tease him because of his orthodontics, and no one would talk to him. But I had a good feeling about him, so I sat next to him. The passage of time, along with various events that every high school child experiences, led to the formation of a deep friendship. We stayed together for 12 years.

Curiosity came to me and before tasting my drink, I looked in the mirror again and there were no more of those shiny eyes and anxious face. "Have a good night, kiddo". I went to a house where it didn't matter what time I took shelter, no one was waiting for me.

Days passed, but those eyes did not leave my mind. Even when I was working in the workshop, I noticed two pairs of worried eyes on the canvas or the corners of the papers looking at me, and this was new to me, "Who are you, Kiddo? You disrupt my life rhythm."

One night it occurred to me to go to the club again and thinking that I might see him again after closing the workshop, I went to my usual haunt, unlike usual, I looked around to see those familiar eyes, but I didn't. I sat down and chatted with Seungmin who was now in charge of training the new trainee and was obsessively explaining everything to him; the boy had just turned 21 years old.