I am lonely and because of that I feel like a loser. I haven't had a best friend that I was their best friend in four years.
I've been my best friend for four years and I treat myself like an enemy.
Everyone I love leaves me.
The three boys I've tried to love and convince to love me back.
Begging people to love me has always been a trend in my life.
And watching them walk away still when I would've gave them all of me - way more than I ever should have to.
I bite back screams that burn my throat. I wash my face with cold water to hide tears, I write letters and then send them and hope the recipient never reads them.
At times all I have is myself to talk to.
And our conversations circle around the topic of  me saying "it's your fault no one can love you." Again and again and again and again.