"Nope," I say, smacking Fairen's hand away from the cookies. Outrage spread across his features as he cradled his hand like it was terribly wounded. "I WANT A COOKIE! And don't hit me!!" Crossing my arms, I glare right back. "I barely touched you! And they aren't your cookies, so you can't just steal them! You have to ask politely." He snorts. "Why should I? I'm allowed to take whatever I want cause I'm a prince!" My mouth twitched as I bite back an inappropriate retort. "Oh I'm sorry, do you want to turn into gross window fur?"
"That's a lie!" Fairen snapped, his glare intensifying. "I asked dad about it and he said I wouldn't, you're lying!!"

"Well you know that weird hair that grows on his face?"

Fairen faltered, unsure what I was getting at. "Uh. . .Yeah. . ."

"That's the start of it," I hiss. "First he's gonna grow mold hair on his face and then it's gonna take over his entire body!!"

His eyes widened in shock. "N-no!! No it won't, sometimes it's not there!!"

"That's cause he cuts it off, but it always grows back!"

"B-but he told me-!"

"He's just trying not to scare you!! Pretty soon he's gonna be a giant pile of moldy gross window fur! Right Rafferty?"
At his name Rafferty jumped, looking extremely startled. "U-uh. . ." He trembled against the chair he was sitting on, eyes flicking back and forth between us uncertainly. Arching an eyebrow, I tap a finger against the table, prompting him to answer. He flinched but hesitantly replied meekly, "E-erm, y-yeah, I uh. . . I think so. . ." His voice trailed off, but that was all the confirmation I needed. Fairen's eyes bulged as he gaped, horrified. "You see!!" I say, triumphantly. "Rafferty knows everything, so he hasta be right!!"

Rafferty fidgeted uncomfortably, but Fairen paled and struggled to catch his breath. "So," I smugly remark, feeling superior. "What do you say when you wanna cookie?" Fairen swallowed and regained some of his color, looking a mix between scared and annoyed. Gritting his teeth, he forced himself to ask, "May I have a cookie. . . Please, Rafferty?" Rafferty immediately nodded frantically and Fairen snatched one of the sugar cookies away while scowling faintly, but his anger quickly dissipated as he scarfed it down.
Watching, I snicker, feeling victorious. Gotta love kids gullibility. Tell a seven year old the moon is made of cheese and they'll believe it. Thank god Fairen isn't as studious as Rafferty though, cause otherwise I woulda been screwed by that lie.

After I ran into Fairen a month ago, I brought him back to the room with me to meet Rafferty. Rafferty nearly wet himself when he saw him, but I managed to calm him down and asked to let Fairen join us when we played. He was anything but thrilled at the prospect, but I was able to pressure him into relenting. Since then whenever he invited me to do something, he invited Fairen as well and the invitation was usually accepted due to Rafferty being the crown prince and all. So far I think I've been able to make some progress with Fairen, though I have to constantly remind him of his immediate doom by turning into scum when he gets bratty. While it's good that he's not being an asshole, I'm not too sure if he actually likes me or not. Sure he's not calling me a bitch, but that doesn't mean we're on GREAT terms. Befriending Rafferty was easy enough- the boy had the confidence of a sweet potato. But Fairen? Pfft. Boy's a wild card.

Reaching across the table I pluck a cookie of my own and bite down on it, thinking. "S-so. . ." Rafferty said as I munched away. "Uh, Kal?" "Eh?" Looking up, I see him staring back at me with large watery eyes. "Wassup?" And why do you look like a scared rabbit? Rafferty's lip trembled as he continued to stare. Oh fuck. That's the sign he has when he's about to cry. Panicked, I quickly stand and shove the plate of cookies in front of Fairen saying, "Here, you can eat them. Be right back," before jumping off the chair and rushing Rafferty away. As soon as we were out of sight, Rafferty launched into tears, burying his face in my shoulder. OI. DUDE. SERIOUSLY, I'M NOT A TISSUE! QUIT USING ME LIKE ONE!! Withholding an annoyed sigh, I begrudgingly pat his back. "Alright, alright," I grunt, trying to ignore the trails of snot he was leaving on my bare shoulder.

"What's wrong?" Wheezing, he stuttered out, "Fa-Fairen is scary!!" He bawled, squeezing me tighter. OOF!! DUDE IT'S GETTIN HARD TO BREATH HERE!! WHAT ARE YOU A WRESTLER?! "Alright," I wiggle slightly in an attempt to get more breathing space. "Ok, sure the dude's got attitude problems, but how's he scary? I thought you don't hang out with him." After a few more seconds of sobbing, he answered. "W-when I, h-he, would," he sniffed, taking quick breaths. "He used to h-hide bugs in my pillows!" He wailed.

. . . . Boy what?

"A-and he'd hide in my closet and then jump out and scare me!! And he kicks me at the dinner table! A-and," Rafferty continued on, becoming more and more upset. Dear god, just how shitty is this kid? "Rafferty, does he still do this?" I interrupt, curious. Rafferty wiped his nose with his sleeve. "N-no. . . He stopped last year." Whew. So it wasn't a recent thing. Still though. . . "Ok Rafferty, com'on," Grabbing his arm, I pull Rafferty back into the room. At our arrival Fairen looks up, his cheeks bulging with cookies. "Git down here," I say, pointing to the floor. He swallowed, looking wary but did as I asked. "Did you bully Rafferty last year?" "What's bully?" He tilted his head, not understanding. "Did you hit him and scare him and stuff," I snap my fingers impatiently. "It'sa yes or no question dude, did you or didn't you?" He glared at me but replied, "Yeah. So what?"

"How come?" "What?" "How come you bullied him?" Fairen kicked at the carpet, scowling. "Cause the tutor always said he was better than me," he grumbled. "Mom made me stop when she found out." Ah. Good going Fairen's mom. At least one of his parents aren't an asshole. Turning, I push Rafferty in front of me. "Ok then," stepping back, I cross my arms. "Fight." The both blink at me, confused. "W-what?!" Rafferty exclaimed, looking fearfully at Fairen. "You heard me. You gotta problem, you duke it out like men. Right here, right now, and get it over with." That's what I always did when I had a problem with one a my buds. No petty bullying or badmouthing. "That's stupid!" Fairen yelled, stamping his foot angrily. "No, what's stupid is bullying someone just because their better than you at goddamn math!" I counter, jabbing a finger in his face. "You were petty and made Rafferty's life hell over a grade. That's cowardly and scummy!"

Fairen scowled but had the decency to flush slightly and duck his head, ashamed. "So enough of this pettiness! If you hate each other so much and wanna settle this, than fight! Go on!" I grab the cushion off a chair and throw it at him. "Fight!!" Fairen flinched as the pillow bounced harmlessly off his body and fell to the floor. He stared at it, clenching his jaw and balling his hands into fists before rounding on me again, mouth open to speak. However, he was abruptly cut off by a pillow smack to the face. Stunned, I spin around to see Rafferty panting, tears replaced by anger. Wow. Gotta admit, did not see that coming. Picking up the pillow again, he slammed it across Fairen's head, sending the boy toppling to the ground. Shocked, Fairen did nothing but gap dumbly until Rafferty leapt on top of him and started to pummel him with the pillow. "Eh-wha-OW! Stop it!!" He cried, trying to extract himself from underneath him, but Rafferty mercilessly continued, face contorted with anger.

Dang, I think, watching them. Guess if you withhold all those feelings for so long something's bound to snap. With a roar, Fairen shoved Rafferty off of him, and then started his own attack. Somehow he had managed to get ahold of another pillow, and I simply stood there and watched as the two boys repeatedly beat each other with them. Well hot diggity shit, who knew pillow fights could be so intense? After about another twenty minutes of fighting, both boys were sprawled across the floor, exhausted. Then, suddenly and without warning, Rafferty burst out laughing. At first Fairen and I silently gaped at him, but Fairen suddenly started laughing as well, actually clutching his sides and rolling across the ground. Both the boys howled with laughter, as if they were old friends and had never fought to begin with. After that Fairen and Rafferty got along quite well. I guess all that was needed to fix their relationship was to wallop each other with pillows.