19's POV(1 month later)

For awhile now, I have felt uneasy. Not only have I been feeling weaker due to what Antone calls a 'fever', but Thayer has been gone. Although it does not please me to have him touch me, the pain he brought occupied my mind. It makes me feel something. It keeps my mind in focus. And as far as the Belladonna goes, that is something that I cannot do anything about. Thayer has given me large amounts of things called poison until they do not affect me. However, he keeps giving me larger and larger amounts making me weak for his purposes.

As I close my eyes, I think about the things that Antone has told me. He described what he and I looked like. I can understand the part about me having long hair and him having short hair, but what I cannot understand is the concept of colors. In the endlessness that I see, it is not that I am unable to see things. It is that I can sense what is around me. I am able to see Thayer's eyes when he feels strongly about something. Also, every now and then I am able to see his hair.

When I think about these things that hold a little of my interest, I am able to ignore the absence of pain. But as lost as I am in my mind, I am still able to hear the door open as familiar footsteps walk inside my area.

"I'm back 19. Are you happy to see me?" He asked me

I remained silent, not knowing what the word 'happy' means. However, it appears it doesn't affect him since he continues to talk.

"Oh well. It doesn't matter because I sure have missed you. Do you know what its like to have to sit in a room filled with ugly people? It's horrible. The only thing that kept me going was the thought that I could be with you when I came back." He rambled

When he finished rambling, he walked over to where he pinned the things on my back to the floor. He bent down and sat there examining them.

"This won't do. For what I'm about to do to you, I need your back to be available to me. Which means that I need to remove the nails from your wings."

I couldn't help but ask "Wings?"

"Yes. The big fluffy things on your back are called wings. They are used for flying."

"Flying?"

"Yep. Flying. But that explanation is for another time. Now, lets get those nails out of your wings." He said as he pried the nails out of the ground and my wings.

I screamed in pain as they were being removed and the holes in my wings healed themselves. Although it healed, it still felt raw. Not to mention that I was still weak due to the fever. Which is why when Thayer unchained me and started sliding his hands all over me I didn't fight back. I couldn't.

"You know, you look good when you're weak. Just as good as when you're strong and resisting me." He said as he put his lips on mine.

I tried to move my head but Thayer grabbed my hair and kept me in place. I couldn't do anything else so I bit his tongue. But it only seemed to make him more determined. He brought his lips away from mine and started trailing down my chest touching each of my scars. I was greatly displeased with his touch so I mustered all the strength I could and punched him in the jaw. The force of it threw him on the floor and forced me onto my chest. Honestly, it was a relief for my wings since they have been on the floor since Thayer left.

Concentrated on the feeling of having my wings unrestrained distracted me and allowed Thayer to get my back. He pushed me to the ground and sat on me. Then he started stroking my wings. Having used up all my energy for that punch, I was unable to do anything. The feeling of him stroking my wings was disgusting.

"You know, I never did get the chance to feel your wings. They're so soft and dark. Like your hair. Which makes them beautiful." He said as he continued stroking my wings."However, we have other things to do right now."

His hands started traveling down my back and to my rear. He pulled down my pants and two fingers into my rear. It was unpleasant to have him touch me and to have him inside of me. He moved his fingers in and out of me until I felt some kind of bulge against my backside. When he was satisfied, I heard the sound of his pants coming undone and hitting the floor. Knowing what comes next I try to struggle but it is no use. I am too weak. He puts his bulge into me and starts thrusting in and out of me. Moaning and panting, he says my name. I remain unresponsive as he continues until he's tired and stops releasing some kind of liquid into to me. When he is done, he lays down beside me with his head on one of my wings and his arm across my torso.

"That was fun. I just wish you were more responsive, my love. Oh well. There's always next time." He said as he fell asleep.

If I didn't have this fever, I would've killed him already. But with me weak and tired, I unwillingly fell asleep as well.

Some time later

I was woken up by Thayer calling me. When I finally regained my senses, I saw that he had already put the chains back on me.

"Are you awake now 19? Good. Because it's time for a bath. I need you to be clean. Antone here is going to be helping me." Thayer said

Once Thayer finished talking, Antone hit me with that liquid substance that makes me feel unpleasant. I struggled and growled but the liquid kept coming. After a while, it stopped and Thayer proceeded to clean me by rubbing this rag on my skin. As he did so, I tried to move away from him but he pulled out a knife and stabbed me.

"If you stop moving you won't get hurt. Now hold still."

Too weak to endure pain, I stopped moving. But that didn't mean that I stopped thinking how unpleasant it felt. When he finished rubbing my body Antone sprayed me with water again.

"Good. Now that you're clean, let's change your pants. Then we'll continue with what I have planned."

When he finally had me appearing to his pleasure, he sat me up with my back to him while he pulled back my hair. He turned me back around and looked at his work.

"See? You look so much better with your hair tied back. It really makes your eyes look good." Thayer said as he unchained me. "And I want you to look good since this is a special meeting. If you look weak and uncared for these people probably won't take you."

"Take him? Take him for what?" Anyone asked

"For experimentation, what else? Now that we have made his forms stronger, I want to change his forms."

"What kind of change are you talking about Thayer?"

"Age appearance and size. Just think about the things that could come of that. He could change his wolf and panther forms to look like cubs. And he could change the size of his eagle from large to small."

I grew tired of hearing Thayer's voice so I spread my wings and wrapped them around me, cutting me off from him and Antone. I could still hear their voices but this wall between us made it better.

I reach out and touch my wings feeling how soft they are. Since I was chained, I never had the chance to feel them before now. I find that touching them, feeling them wrap around me and guard me is a very pleasant experience. However, I was disrupted by Thayer pushing my wings aside.

"Ready? You are about to meet some new people who are going to experiment on you. And trust me. It's going to hurt a lot more than the first try."

At that, I wanted to struggle but I was still too weak to do any real damage. He stood me up and wrapped his arm around my waist to keep me standing as we walked down what Thayer called hallways. Usually, he puts a blind fold on me, but I guess he forgot.

After walking for awhile, we came to a room that had three people in it. When I walked in, they all stared at me with the same eyes as Thayer. Eyes filled with desire. I unfurled my wings and hissed at the people. They all took a step back away from me. Satisfied, I folded my wings to my back and once again retained my normal appearance.

"Sorry about him. He hasn't met many people so he doesn't like being close to them." Thayer said

"Then what about you, Thayer? Why is he so okay with you touching him?" Said a man who looks taller than Thayer but shorter than me.

"He's okay with it because he belongs to me. Its as simple as that. Are we going to talk about business or not?" Thayer said with irritation dripping from his voice.

"Yes we should. We have lots of things to do. So, what are you paying us to experiment on him?" The shortest one said

"You will receive payment after I see the results of the experiment. After all, how do I know that what you will do to him will not have certain side effects. This one is a very special one. I would hate for anything to happen to him."

"But of course Thayer. Let's just hope that for all our sakes, the experiment goes well."

"Agreed. Now, how are you going to transport him? Just so you know, wherever he goes, it needs to be dark."

"We could just chain him and take him."

Finally understanding what they were saying, I snarled at the idea of being chained again. The only thing stopping me was Thayer's arm holding me back.

"Be lucky he isn't at full strength. By the time you guys get to your lab, he should be back to normal. So let's just do this." Thayer said.

I felt a sharp pain in my neck then I was greeted by darkness.

Antone's POV

I watched as Thayer stabbed 19 with a needle and fall. I watched 19 and noticed that his chest wasn't moving.

"What did you do to him?! He's not breathing at all." I asked

"Oh stop worrying. The serum injected in him only puts him in a state of apparent death. I didn't give him much so by the time they get to the lab, he'll be conscious."

I watched as they picked him up and carted him out of the room.

"You know, I hate that I have to give him to somebody else. But in order for him to be better, there is no other way. I'll be in my quarters resting. Since 19 is gone you can do as you like around the facility." Thayer said as he walked out the door.

Hearing that I could do whatever I liked, I went to a room that had a phone that could not be traced. I dialed the number that I remembered from the pack information documents that I saw Thayer collecting and waited for someone to pick up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Is this the alpha of the Bloodmoon pack?" I asked

"Yes it is. Who is this?"

"I can't tell you who I am for various reasons. But I can tell you valuable information."

"What kind of valuable information?"

"Information about the Underworld."

"I'm listening."

So I told him everything. The location of the base, the leader, and that if he raided he would get more information about who the collaborators are.

"I appreciate this information. But why are you giving something so hard to get for free?" He asked

"It's not for free."

"Ah. Now your showing your true colors."

"It's to atone for my sins. I want to help someone who can't get out. I want you to raid this place and free the slaves here."

"Fine. I'll send my beta and a group of wolves now."

"No! Not now!" I yelled

"If not now then when?"

"I'll send you a message. Just swear that you will send help."

"I swear by the moongoddess that I will send help for those that are held captive."

"Thank you. I will send the message when the time is right."

Hanging up the phone, I felt a small weight leave my shoulders. I was glad that I could somehow help 19. I just hope he will be wiling to receive it.

3 months later

I was taken from my sleep by knocking at the door. I got up and opened it only to see Thayer. I was surprised. He never went outside his room ever since 19 left.

"What do you want Thayer?"

"He's back. He's finally back." He said with a smile in his face. "I came by so you could help me get him."

"Sure. Just give me a minute." I said as I closed the door. I walked back into my room, grabbed my phone, and sent the message to the alpha. I changed into some casual clothes and walked out the door and down the hall with Thayer in front of me.

After a while we walked into a room that held the three people who took 19 for experimentation. As I looked at them I saw that they looked a little tired and pale.

"What happened to you guys? You look like you hardly got any sleep after seeing death." I commented.

"Why didn't you warn us about him? When he woke up, he went batshit crazy and started killing anybody who was in range of him. Do you know how many tranquilizer darts it takes to subdue him?" The shortest one ranted to Thayer

"It takes over 250 darts to subdue him. It is not a pretty sight." I answered

"Exactly. The payment better be good Thayer after all the trouble we had experimenting on him. But I'm still surprised. He went through an immense amount of pain and bled a lot but he's still alive. He's a scientist's dream come true."

I looked over at Thayer to see him not even paying attention to the people in front of him. He had eyes only for the big black wolf rampaging in a cage. He walked over to the cage and put his hand on the bars. 19 didn't even notice cause he only had eyes for the three guys who took him.

"Listen to me now and you can have them. Understand?" Thayer told him.

When he heard what Thayer said he stopped thrashing around the cage but continued to growl. Thayer then turned around to the three men.

"Thank you for your help in making him stronger. I'll give you your payment now. But first, how long has it been since you fed him? He looks like he's lost some weight."

"We never fed him. He was still healthy so why bother."

When those words were said, I saw something flash in Thayer's eyes that made me move far away from the three men.

"Okay then," he said as he puts his hand on the cage lock, "here's your payment."

When he broke the lock to the cage, all I saw was a black blur then blood splattering from where 19 rammed shorty into the wall, killing him on impact. He was tearing into the body and eating it until it was all gone. Then he turned his head to the other two men. They were shaking in fear and crying. 19 slowly stalked over to them as they fell onto the ground, crawling to get away. When they got to a wall, they turned around and pleaded.

"P-p-please don't kill me. I-I was j-just doing my job." The tallest one cried out

19 responded by pouncing on the guy that was mid-height and eating him until there was nothing left. He then turned to the tallest one and smirked. Or, at least, as much of one as you can do as a wolf.

'And I'm just surviving.' I heard a voice, which I assumed was 19's, say before he pounced on the last remaining scientist, eating him alive.

When he was done, he turned toward us and growled. His coat was covered in blood and it didn't seem to phase him. Thayer, with a smile on his face, opened his arms wide and said "Welcome back, my love."

19 ran towards Thayer with a growl and jumped, but at the last minute, he pulled out a syringe and stabbed 19 with it. As 19 shifted back, Thayer caught him and held him as he passed out in his arms. That's when I heard Thayer's phone go off.

I could tell what he was hearing from looking at his facial expressions. They were on the "very pissed" side of the emotional spectrum. However, towards the end of the conversation, his expression showed how pleased he was with something.

"Good job getting the situation under control. Put all the live ones in cells. They'll serve as food and entertainment. That'll be all." He said as he ended the call.

"Thayer, what happened?"

"We were under attack but the guards around the compound got the situation under control by killing most of them and capturing the rest. Usually, I would deal with the prisoners right away but I can't stand to see someone else's marks on 19's body so I'm going to deal with him first. Come along. I need you there so you can make sure he stays healthy and beautiful. "

So with that said, I followed Thayer back to 19's room. Once we were in the room, he chained 19's arms and legs and then got out a tattoo gun and a bucket of water. He took the water and splashed it on 19. 19 woke up with a start.

"Hello, my love. How was your nap?" Thayer asked

19 just laid there staring silently at him.

"You won't talk? Oh well. That's fine. But what's not fine are the noticeable marks let behind by those people. So I'm going to give you a new kind of mark." He said as he lifted up the the tattoo gun and showed it to 19. "Do you know what this is?"

19 took a moment to sniff the air. When he finally smelled something, he tensed up and started thrashing in his chains.

"I guess you guessed it. This is ink mixed with my blood. I'm going to inject this into your skin and you'll never be able to get rid of it." Thayer said with a smile.

I just looked at him. I couldn't believe that he was doing something like this to the person that he claimed he loved. He gave me the signal he thought of when he wanted me to knock him out. I pulled out a blow dart and did so. When he was down, Thayer started tattooing him. Once he was finished, 19 looked more dangerous than he looked before.

"Thayer, how could you do that to him? How could you permanently mark him with your own blood? The only mark a meant to be on a body are the marks of mates and tattoos for appearance. What you did goes beyond either of those things!"

"Don't you dare lecture me! He belongs to me! I can do whatever I want to him because I love him and he likes what I do to him."

"Likes? That word isn't even in his vocabulary! You haven't even educated him properly."

"He knows how to cook. He knows how to play the piano, violin, and saxophone. He knows how to fight and kill. What else does he need to know? It's not like he's ever leaving this compound.

"Also, don't you dare talk to me about what I do. What about you, huh? You perform human experimentation. You're the one who made him look less human. Besides, how many people have died in order for you to quench your scientific thirst for results and success? Because I can tell you that the number is a hell of a lot larger than the number of people who have died under my care. So I suggest you shut your trap and focus on your job." He lectured.

He turned towards 19 and traced the newly applied pattern on his skin. 19 shivered but I don't think it was a pleasant kind of shiver. Thayer, however, thought it was, smiled, and left the room. When he did, 19 opened his eyes. I immediately walked over to him.

"Hey 19. How are you feeling?" I asked him.

"Disgusting. Not only is my skin scarred from him, his blood is now permanently etched into it. I have this feeling that I need to claw my skin off just to not feel his blood. Or his touch that fills me with disgust."

"Don't worry. Things will get better."

"I do not know what 'worry' means. But I can say one thing. Nothing is certain. Therefore, you cannot guarantee that things will get better. You say you will help me but you cannot guarantee that. I do not have the strength to fill my mind with desires placed in the hands of someone else." He said to me

"But-" I started to say something but then he cut me off.

"Take you and I for example. Before you, I have never conversed with anyone but him and anyone else was just food. However, I find talking a useless thing as it produces no results. Therefore, I do not need you. All there ever was, is, and will be is me. For I am all that I need."

"But 19-"

"That is all I will say on this matter. I am going to get as much rest as I can before Thayer comes and orders me to fight. Now step away from me. Your closeness is something that is also not needed."

I slowly move away from him and give him space while I think about what he said. I can't imagine what it's like to live the way he does. But it hurts to hear that he doesn't need me. Once 19 closed his eyes, I move over to my bed in the room and lay down. 15 minutes later, Thayer comes into the room ordering 19 to fight.