A/n: Obviously, this book deals with things that I don't really know too much about. Rape, kidnapping, selective mutism, relationships..recovering from trauma, toxic friends, trans character, pregnancy, all that.

I hope that i'm accurately portraying things and not being like,,offensive or anything? I started this book when I was like 11 or 12. Idk what possessed me to do this? I was basically still a kid who shouldn't have been touching such serious topics.

Basically, what i'm trying to say is i'm sorry : D

Virgil looked into Logan's eyes, the world around them seeming to fade away as they gazed at each other, expressions filled with love and adoration. Their fingers were intertwined as their hands brushed together, eventually connecting.

The air wasn't awkward or tense—they were both relaxed, almost motionless as they slowly swayed to the music playing softly in the background. They had no desire to pay attention to the world around them, or break the calm atmosphere.

They began to lean closer, their faces mere inches apart. Virgil parted his lips as they began to close the gap, but before they could connect—

He woke up.

He rubbed his eyes as his fantasy faded away. He sighed, leaning in on the warm body next to him. They had fallen back asleep after they'd been accused of cuddling—Virgil had shut the alarm off and said it was too early to function. He sighed into Logan's shoulder as he decided that Roman was right. Logan was quite the big spoon. His arms were wrapped around Virgil, his hands draped limply over his chest.

And Virgil didn't mind the contact—especially from Logan. His cuddles were different from anything he's ever felt. It was warm and gentle like his mother's embrace, but at the same time firm and strong like his brothers.

It was reassuring in a weird way—and Logan would probably be weirded out by how much Virgil was thinking about him. And how close he wanted to be to him—and gosh, the dreams he'd been having—yeah, he was cringing internally.

He felt Logan shift around and make a small noise, before his eyes began to blink slowly. He mumbled something before closing his eyes again and pulling Virgil closer.

He didn't mind, of course.

He thought it was pathetic of him though. Logan wouldn't—he couldn't possibly love a freak like him back. He was too much of everything that nobody wanted. He was quiet and shy and couldn't make a peep without having a panic attack—

It was dangerous to hope, dangerous to dream about a life where he'd be happy.

A life where Logan loved him back.

————————————————————

Logan sighed, frustrated, with his face buried in Virgil's puffy hair. He had woken up just mere minutes after the anxious boi had fallen back asleep. And he was distraught.

Virgil looked so...so perfect...curled up in his arms. He was adorable. He felt something in his chest blooming for that boy every time he saw him. He was edgy and anxious and sarcastic—it was a protective layer, Logan knew it—but underneath he could be soft and sweet and be just loved that about him.

—No. no. He blushed as Virgil cuddled deeper into his chest. No. It was foolish to catch such feelings for Virgil. Surely, Virgil wouldn't want him. One of the biggest problems in Logan's prior relationships was his lack of feelings, lack of emotions..he wasn't cut out to be a boyfriend. He wasn't caring enough—he was too robotic.

But somehow, he felt his strict, stern persona fade in the moments he spent in that bed with Virgil. He felt relaxed, capable of love—perhaps before he was just with the wrong person—

No. He couldn't do this to someone again.

It was dangerous to love. It was dangerous to hope for a life.

A life where he could love. A life where he could just be normal—

A life where he could be with Virgil.

————————————————————
Roman and Patton giggled as they got out of bed and saw the pair cuddling yet again.

"Oh, they are so in love!" Roman squealed, clapping while bouncing up and down.

"Shh shhh shh!" Patton whispered as be chuckled. He snapped a few pictures, "I was stalking Virgil's mom's facebook—don't ask—i'm going to send these pictures to her on messenger!"

Roman chuckled, draping an arm around Patton and leaning into his side, "that's kind of creepy..but I like it..expose the anxious bean."

Patton smirked, and Roman was afraid. Smirking was not a good look on Patton—

I mean, unless they were in the bedroom..and Roman was calling him dadd—

No! Bad Roman, no sexual fantasies! It's ten in the morning!

"How about we make some breakfast? We can wake the love birds up afterwards!" Patton chirped, linking arms with Roman, who gently places a kiss against his knuckles.

"You're cold, dearest" Roman mumbled, taking Patton's hands.

A blush bloomed across Patton's face. He chuckled and mumbled something incoherent, before saying that he would turn the heat on.

"C-come on! I've goy some eggs we can make!" He exclaimed. Roman and Patton had recently developed something that they just called a 'best friend thing'  where they'd give each other either cheek kisses or hold hands—

Totally platonic. Or at least that's what they tried to tell themselves—

Anyways, Patton hadn't been too uncomfortable with the idea, and he was happy to have more positive affection in his life. One thing Roman never did though was sneak up on Patton with anything. Especially when he hasn't shaved. Apparently facial hair ran in the family.

Roman sighed dreamily as Patton began to make the pancake batter, the flour getting on his nose. He wondered if he had a shot with Patton...probably not. He looked exactly like his rapist. He was a reminder of something horrible and traumatic that happened in Patton's life and he absolutely hated it.

He resented his brother before—but now he resented him even more for hurting the one he loved, and hurting any shot he ever had at a chance with him.

Patton would never feel the same about him. And that was something he would have to learn to accept. No matter how much it hurt.

————————————————————

Patton sighed dreamily, leaning against the counter and peering at Roman. He was trying to get a shell out of an egg he had cracked. He smiled at him and began to think.

He really had such strong feelings for Roman. And he hated that. They could never work.

Sometimes, he forgot. He would forget Roman wasn't Remus, and he would just get so afraid when he saw Roman and spiral into a panic attack.

He wouldn't do that to Roman—it would hurt him too much. No matter how much he wanted Roman, his dreams would never be a reality.

What would he see in Patton anyways? Patton was pregnant. He had trauma that would probably never go away. He had so many issues, and on top of all of it he had major dysphoria.

No—Roman would never love him.

Roman would never feel the same about him. And that was something he would have to learn to accept. No matter how much it hurt.

A/n: THE RELATIONSHIPS ARE DEVELOPING PEOPLE. FEELINGS WILL BE EXPLORED, MISTAKES WILL BE MADE, AND I'M RUNNING OUT OF THINGS TO SAY—