(Caution: incredible sarcasm ahead)

Having problems creating the perfect character?

Need some inspiration to make them have perfect personalities?

Don't know how to design them?

Then are you in luck! For the time you're reading this only, I bring you the 'How to Create a Character' Guide! All the tools you need to create the perfect character, for writing or Roleplay! Stay tuned for bonus content!

Step 1:

First, we need a name! Let's try Bella Swan! One of the many variations of the name 'Mary Sue'. Or you can go with other classics, like Sarah, SpecialMainCharacter, or ImTooFab. This is only the first step on the road to the perfect character!

Step 2:

What does Snowflake look like? Always go for Blonde! Or give her black hair, and blue or green eyes! Everyone knows those are the most common eye colors, and there's only a 12% chance to actually have brown eyes.
So let's give Snowflake some bright blue eyes and blonde hair! No- one blue eye and one green eye! All the more common than blue eyes.

Step 3:

What's Snowflakes personality? Well, we all know that pieces of cardboard make lovely role models! Let's base Snowflake off of that!
Let's see.. Snowflake will be very kind and innocent, but has an explosive temper so don't make her mad. But she is very quick to forgive, and likes to stare off dramatically due to her vaguely hinted dramatic past!
Perfect! Now Snowflake is the blandest piece of cardboard ever! We're off to a wonderful start.

Step 4:

Background time!
Now remember, every main character has to have a traumatic past and no family whatsoever! There is no such thing as a happy childhood!
Her parents are dead, and she rose her little brother all by herself, until one day humanity received a grim reminder. And her brother died.
Perfect! Now snowflake is on her way to developing her love interest!

Step 5:

Snowflake needs that special someone! Now, are we fanfictioning, or just making fiction?
If we're in fanfiction, let's pair up Snowflake with one of the main characters and make their personality as off from how it actually is to make the romance work! Yeah! Perfect!
If we're writing fiction, I think the perfect idea is a tall dark brooding guy who always stands in corners and doesn't talk! Perfect!

Step 6:

Now snowflake has that love interest! A lovely plastic spoon! Glorious.
Always add minor drama, like falling down the stairs and into a comma, so she can be awoken by Spoon's kiss!
Medical research has shown that it is proven to work!

And there you go, SkittleZ' guide to making the perfect character!