*takes deep breaths*
*closes eyes*
*breathes*
Ahem....

WHY THE FriCK DID YOU THROW THE SPEAR IN THE WATER YOU STUPID BeaCH

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Batman V. Superman Review by SkittleZ
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LISTEN UP CUPCAKES there are gonna be a lot of spoilers so if you haven't seen the movie or are looking forwards to not having it ruined for you when you do see it, just go on and skip to the very end and I'll post a ? Out of 10 thing on my own type of scale.

I'm angry right now at this movie, and it's ALMOST as bad as the hobbit was for me... *flashback to a review I did on that* *shivers* that was bad.

FIRST THINGS FIRST, when I first saw a commercial here was what I theorized:

1. Batman angry at superman for destroying stuff

2. Batman and Superman causing more destruction fighting then the reason batman was mad in the first place

3. Wonder Woman (a.k.a chick in swimsuit) joins in the party when a bigger badder villain appears so they can all kick its butt

WHAT HAPPENED:

1. Batman angry at superman for destroying stuff

2. Batman and Superman causing more destruction fighting then the reason batman was mad in the first place

3. Wonder Woman (a.k.a chick in swimsuit) joins in the party when a bigger badder villain appears so they can all kick its butt

WOW *sparkles erupt everywhere*

(Also I'm not much of a DC fan, like almost everyone else everywhere I prefer Marvel. But I do really like DC sometimes. Just not when it comes to this movie. )

LETS START WITH MJ WATSON- I MEAN, SUPERMANS LOVE INTEREST AMELIA AIRHEART FROM NIGHT OF THE MUSEUM 2

She's literally the exact image of idiotic damsel in distress that can't to SHITaki mushroom for the whom dang movie except F stuff up and sit there to be pretty. Serious. Gosh. Why. I dunno it just is.

And MARTHA. (Batman sobs in the distance)

MARTHA???? REALLY???? MARTHAAA??? Ya that's real nice that Soupy and Batboys mom had the same name, I don't think that's canon but I don't actually know because I haven't read any of the comics but if it IS CANON THEN SHAME ON YOU WRITERS but if not then SHAME ON YOU DIRECTORS either way someone is just shameful

One of the scenes that made me super angry was when What's-Her-Face threw the kriptonite spear into the water after bats and soups fought like wtf u doin lady why

LITERALLY JUST SO SHE AND SOUPY CAN HAVE A DRAMATIC GAG WORTHY CLICHE "U R MY WOURLD 2" "IK I LUF U" MOMENT SO SUPERMAN COULD "SACRIFICE" HIMSELF TO KILL THE MAGIC GIANT HALF LOTR ORC/HULK/GODZILLA ROAR/DONKEY KONG MONSTER/FROSTGIANT

All this gives me a headache I need to pet a dog right now

Maybe not part frostgiant I just wanted to add that because I was thinking Thor and Loki, which I just spelled as Loli and that made me laugh.. it's really late I shouldn't be ranting
ANYWAY

PICK SOME CLICHES

THROW IT IN A MOVIE

ADD AN HOUR AND A HALF OF BORING "TENSION BUILDING" THAT LASTED SO LONG THE TENSION SLIPPED AWAY LIKE YOUR CHILDHOOD DREAMS

THROW IN A PRETTY ACTRESS

A EXPLOSION FILLED HIGHLY INPLAUSINLE CAR CHASE WITH EXPLOSIONS

A VILLAIN SIMILAR TO THE JOKER IN HIS PSYCHOPATHIC TENDENCIES

SOME DRAMA AND POLITICS TO FINISH IT OFF

AND BAM

YOUVE GOT BATMAN V. SUPERMAN

By DC standards it was great

By Marvel standards it was BLEUGH

By my standards I would wait until it was on Netflix to watch the first five minutes and then go watch RVB

Total star rating? 4.5/10.

Captain America: Winter Soldier? Easy 8.5/10.

Now when's Civil War coming out because I'm gonna be all over that