Hello so yes it is I
I came up with a writers challenge from the prompt I saw and what you do is exactly as is said, tag people afterwards, and the catch is you gotta try and not use the same inanimate object.

*clears throat* LETS START

Dear Table,

It has come to my attention that you are a growing nuisance. My toes have never hurt more, and your corners keep stabbing me in the stomach. You are not pulling your weight in this house, barely ever managing to keep items atop without falling at some point. You useless piece of wood. I loath the tree you where made from. Though it was already murdered for you meaningless life of sitting there in my dinning room causing pain. You don't even help me win monopoly. You douche bad.
I am going to replace you. It's not me, it's you. I found a better table, more of a table then you ever where. You senseless Oak wood plank. This new table is Mahogany, polished and stained to look new. It sparkles in the sunlight. You don't. You old drift wood thing.
I don't care if you apologized, Table, I can never forgive you for the countless tears I've shed over stubbed toes. Never.

Goodbye forever, you doughey excuse for a table.

~SkittleZ (with as little love as possible)

THERE SO YEAH XD

AND I TAG EVERYONE READING YAY HAVE FUN :D