Well...

Hi.

How are you guys?

I have a lot on my mind and one of the things regards my family.

If you didn't know, I am in a mixed family.

My dad is Mexican and my mom is white.

Because of that, I have tan skin and brown hair, but then I have green eyes.

I am one of those kids girls want because 'mixed babies are adorable'.

While that may seem like a compliment, it's really not.

It's confusing.

I don't know if which nationality I belong in.

People have stared at me every time I'm with and I wonder if they think I'm adopted.

My mom's blonde, blue eyed, and fair skinned while I'm brunette, green eyed, and tan.

My dad is estranged and pretty much out of my life and I worry everyday that people will mock me and call him the stereotypical Mexican dad that isn't around his family.

I worry everyday for my siblings who are darker than me because of racial profiling and whether if they will be safe wherever they go.

Moving on, if you guys didn't see it, there was an ad Old Navy put out.

It was a mixed family (black dad, white mom) and the comments were horrible.

They ranged from stereotypes of black people to people asking 'why is the father in the picture' and 'why doesn't the mom have a black'. The ones that were the most horrible were the ones that say that mixing people is a form of white genocide.

I'm considered impure in the eyes of many.

My siblings and are considered motives for 'white genocide'.

I love how my family is mixed, but people don't think the same.

I feel uncomfortable because I don't know where I fit in. 

Am I Mexican?

Am I white?

Could I celebrate Mexican holidays and embrace my culture?

Would I be culturally appropriating since I'm also white if I celebrate my culture?

Am I beautiful?

Am I ugly?

What am I?

I'm confused.

Remember that I love you all...

-Maddie🐶🎤💕