Jonathan sets himself into the bath tub, easy of the life growing in him. He's 12 weeks in and already tired of everything. Well, he was tired of it since the beginning. Why didn't he just...? Jonathan's head goes to a very dark place and he stops his thoughts. He sinks more into the bath and lets his thoughts loose again. His eyes flutter shut and his nose is just above the water. 

Sirens blare and lights are everywhere, and Jonathan is stuck in a moving vehicle. His vision finally clears and he realizes he's in a firetruck; his specifically. When he reaches the "destination" he notices the building and a flood of memories hits him. He tries going back, but the "vision" seems to be blocking him from moving outside of the perimeter. The clown sighs and puts his mask on. He picks up speed as he gets closer to the building. He remembers the exact place the little girl was in. The heavy sounds of his boots fill the burning house. He carefully makes his way upstairs and finds the door to the little girl's room. Before he breaks the door down he hears a soft whisper which turns into a scream. "DELIRIOUS!" Jonathan hastily looks around, but ignores it. "JONATHAN!" The screams are louder and closer. The clown shuts it out and breaks the door down. The little girl sits in the middle of the room with a stuffed animal close to her chest. Jonathan reaches the little girl and looks around. He spots a silhouette in the doorway. He squints and instantly recognizes the person. The flames flicker in the lens of his glasses. The new glasses he asked about a little while ago. His black hair frantically moves around and sweat pours down his face. "Help me!" A small shout is heard near Jonathan. Suddenly he's not in the house anymore. He's in a small room with two stage lights aimed at separate places. "JONATHAN!" He notices Evan's scream. "HELP! PLEASE!" A little girl's scream is also heard. Fires are near both of the humans. Finally the blue man puts 2 and 2 together. Jonathan has to choose... He looks at Evan, the horror on his face. He can't run away from the small fire, it's like he's a mime locked in the box. The little girl is crying, squealing almost. Jonathan remembers her face, it's stuck in his mind, right before the building fell. Eleonora... Tears and sweat mix in the blue eyes. He remembers how she said her mommy ran the bakery. She said it to ease her nerves. She was a smart little girl, but she was already dead... Evan wasn't. Fuck... The screams grew louder, and echoed in Jonathan's mind. He looks at Eleonora one last time, "I'm so sorry baby..." An ax appears in the clown's hands. He sniffles and runs towards Evan. Jonathan breaks the glass box and Evan squeezes out. He wraps his arms around Jonathan. He coughs and coughs, his face and clothing covered in burn marks. In the little girl's box the fire stops, and relief fills Jonathan's chest. The girl steps out of the box, but she's not smiling. "You didn't save me mister..." She frowns. "If I don't deserve to live, why do they?" She points her little finger towards another light. A pastel blue bassinet is shown and the dark room fills with little baby talking noises. "No!" Jonathan can only control his voice. "NO!" He starts sprinting towards the baby; his baby. The girl chuckles. Jonathan can already hear Evan sobbing. "No! No! Stop!" But before Jonathan can reach the bassinet it blows up into flames as the baby screams at the top of its lungs. 

Jonathan sits up in the tub, a huge pain in his back. Tears stream down his face as he tries to get out of the tub. "Evan!" He shouts, hoping he'll hear him from the gaming room. Jonathan's breathing gets heavier as the pain increases, "EVAN!" His chest rapidly rises up and down. 

Evan is a few doors down from the bathroom and he has earbuds in. He's editing a video that him and the boys recorded a few nights after the baby shower. He's adding music into it and it's really loud. So loud he can't hear Jonathan's shouts turn into bloody screams.

The pain strikes Jonathan's spine. He pushes harder out of the bath tub and has run out of breath. How is this happening? The baby isn't even that big yet, right? Jon caresses his belly area. He screams again, wondering where the hell Evan was.

Evan finally hears it, he rips off his earbuds and listens, Jonathan slips and falls back into the tub. He arches his back in pain and sobs violently until he finally goes unconscious. Evan reaches the scene and horror jumps onto his face. He whips around so fast his glasses fall to the ground and break. He grabs the phone and dials 911. While explaining what's happening, Evan helps Jon out of the tub. His head it bleeding, but he's still breathing. His body is so limp and cold, and he's actually heavier than Evan thought, but that might be the weight of the baby growing. If it is still growing... Evan instantly removes that thought from his head. Everything seems really dark and in slow motion. Evan finally gets a good handle on Delirious, and he runs him to the bedroom, "God, Jonathan, please stay with me." Evan winces at himself, why did he have his headphones turned up so loud? Evan get's Jonathan dressed in comfortable clothing. The sirens are finally in hearing range. Evan lifts Jon off the bed and carefully takes him outside.

The paramedics rush to Evan and grab Jonathan out of his arms. The woman looks fine and concerned, but the man looks confused. Evan sighs and feels very weak and pissed off at himself. A weird mix of feelings surround him. Evan hops into the back of the ambulance with his love. He grabs Jonathan's hand as the paramedics attach different things to him. The woman grabs a clipboard and sits down beside Evan as the man finishes off the job.

"So, what happened?"

Evan thinks and grimaces, "He fell in the bathtub." The woman scribbles things down.

"Is he..." she looks down at Jon's belly, "expecting?" Evan nods, "He's trans, still transitioning, and I... did that." Evan chuckles sarcastically. The woman sighs either annoyingly or depressingly, Evan can't tell.

"Well, as soon as we get to the hospital we're going to check the baby, okay?" Evan's heart drops, he wants to cry so bad. He can feel the tears rising in his throat.

"What about Jon?" Evan's voice cracks, the saddest sound on the planet.

"He should be fine, but he'll have serious pains in his back and belly area, depending on the baby..." The woman states.

"Okay..." Evan sits there, squeezing Jonathan's hand, hoping to any God or Goddess that he'd be okay, along with the small, beautiful life growing in him.

***

Another chapter in school, it might suck, because I've been feeling really back and forth lately. Like well, today I was called a fat ass, which I haven't been called in like 7 years, so I just felt like shit a lot lately. I drove for the first time tonight! And my first competition is on Saturday. Eek!

Words can't express how much I love you all... ~Abbie