CHAPTER 27 - STORM BETWEEN US

Hindi nawala ang bigat ng hangin simula nang umalis si Kygan. Para iyong mabigat na ulap na unti-unting kumakalat habang naghihintay ng tamang oras para bumagsak. Kahit ilang oras na ang lumipas simula nang iniwas ko ang tingin kay Nash, ramdam ko pa rin bigat.

Kahit na pilit kong ibinaling ang atensyon ko sa TVOA booth alam kong hindi nawala ang bigat sa pagitan namin.

He barely speak after that. He moved like everything was normal when we both knew it wasn't. Ciqa kept glancing between us, lips pursed, like she was holding herself back from saying something.

Pagkatapos ng shift ko sa booth, madilim at palubog na ang araw, at ang fairgrounds ay binalot na ng dilaw na liwanag na nanggagaling golden hour.

Huminga ako nang malalim saka sinuot ang strap ng bag. Sobrang bigat ng katawan ko dahil sa init, sa ingay, sa dami ng ginawa. Hindi ko na alam baka sa lahat-lahat na.

Pagkaalis ko sa booth, agad kong kinuha ang phone ko.

To Kygan:

Papunta na 'ko.

I pressed send saka binalik iyon sa bulsa.

Pagdating ko sa booth nina Kygan, he and his team were already packing up. May ilan pang estudyanteng nakatambay, pero karamihan sa kanila ay nag-aayos na ng gamit, tinatanggal ang mga banner, at inililigpit ang mga natirang pamphlet sa mesa.

"Pa'no, mauna na 'ko," Kygan announced, slinging his backpack over one shoulder. "I'll message you guys kapag nakuha na namin yung ipamimigay ni Madelle."

Isa sa mga kasama niya ang umismid. "Wow, tatakas ka lang ata, boss."

Kygan just grinned. "Kaya n'yo na yan."

Napailing na lang ako habang pinapanood siyang magpaalam sa team niya, tapos lumapit siya sa'kin, "Ready?"

I nodded, adjusting my bag. "Yeah."

I followed him as he led the way to where his motorcycle was parked. Nag-aagaw na ang kulay kahel at asul sa langit, habang pahaba nang pahaba ang mga anino sa semento. Unti-unti nang kumokonti ang tao sa fairgrounds, may mga nagliligpit na ng booths, may iba namang naglalakad pa-exit, bitbit ang mga nabili nilang food at merch.

Yung iba, nagpaiwan pa rin, nagkukwentuhan at tumatawa, sinusulit ang natitirang oras bago tuluyang matapos ang fair.

Kygan handed me the helmet without a word, and I took it, letting my fingers skim over the edges before slipping it over my head. But the moment I secured the strap, something about the movement felt too natural. Too familiar.

Like muscle memory. Like something I had done a hundred times before. And before I could stop myself, naalala ko na naman siya.

I remembered how easily Nash used to hand me a helmet, how he would check if the strap was secure before I even had the chance to do it myself.

How his motorcycle was the only one I ever rode. Before now. Before this. My fingers unconsciously tightened around the strap as I exhaled, shaking off the thought.

"Hoy." Kygan's voice snapped me back to reality. "Okay ka lang? Tara na."

I forced a nod, pilit nilulunok ang kung anumang bumabara sa dibdib ko. Walang lingon-lingon, sumampa na lang ako sa motor. Umandar ito at dahan-dahang umusad si Kygan palabas ng fairgrounds.

Dumaan kami sa hanay ng mga booth, karamihan sa kanila nagliligpit na. Mas kalmado na ang paligid, tanging ang mahihinang tawanan at ingay ng huling batch ng mga estudyanteng pauwi ang maririnig.

Malapit na kami sa exit nang mapansin ko ang TVOA booth sa may gate. At doon, sa tabi nito, nakatingin si Nash.

Hindi ko alam kung gaano na siya katagal doon. Pero isang tingin pa lang, alam kong nakita niya kami.

Bahagyang dumaan ang ilaw sa mukha niya, highlighting the sharp angles of his jaw. Hindi ko mabasa ang ekspresyon niya. Pero kahit hindi siya gumalaw, ramdam ko ang tanong sa mga tingin niya.

Isang segundo lang. Saglit lang nagtagpo ang mga mata namin. Bumilis na ang takbo ng motor. At sa isang iglap, nawala na siya sa paningin ko.

Hindi kami gaanong nag-usap ni Kygan habang bumabagtas ang motor sa highway. The city lights flickered past us, headlights and neon signs reflecting off the wet pavement. Malamig ang hangin, may dala nang bahagyang dampi ng ulan, pero hindi ko alam kung dahil lang ba sa panahon o dahil sa kung paano humupa ang init ng fairgrounds na iniwan namin.

Tahimik lang ako, nakatitig sa mga dumadaang ilaw, pilit nilalamon ang kung anumang bumabara sa dibdib ko simula pa kanina.

Not now, Rayne. Not now.

Maya-maya, bumagal ang andar ng motor at lumiko kami papasok sa isang mas tahimik na kalye. Huminto si Kygan sa harap ng isang maliit na café na mukhang nagsasara na, may nakasabit pang "Closed" sign sa pintuan.

Bumaba ako ng motor, hinubad ang helmet, at pinanood siyang bumaba rin. "Dito nakatira si Madelle?"

"Hindi, pero madalas siya dito pag wala siyang duty," sagot ni Kygan habang tinanggal ang gloves niya. "Diyan niya kami madalas inuutusan."

Halos kasabay ng biro niya, bumukas ang pintuan ng café at lumabas ang isang babae—Madelle Lacson.

She looked a little older than I expected, maybe mid to late twenties. Nakatali ang mahaba niyang buhok, suot ang isang loose sweater at jeans, may dala-dalang isang eco bag na halatang puno ng supplies. Nang mapansin niya si Kygan, she let out an amused sigh.

"Akala ko hindi ka na dadating."

Kygan grinned. "Wow, Ate, lakas maka-requirement 'yung donation mo."

Madelle rolled her eyes pero inabot pa rin sa kanya 'yung eco bag. "Ito na 'yung pinadala ko para sa student volunteers. Next time, ikaw na bahala bumili, ha."

"Sure, sure." Tinanggap ni Kygan 'yung bag nang walang reklamo.

Then Madelle's gaze flickered to me. Napansin ko kung paano bahagyang kumunot ang noo niya—hindi pamilyar, pero curious.

"And this is...?"

I took a step forward. "Hi, I'm Rayne. From TVOA."

Bahagyang nagtaas ng kilay si Madelle, then a small smile crossed her lips. "TVOA, huh? Matagal na rin simula nung huli akong may nakausap na taga-school paper."

Napansin ko agad ang warmth sa boses niya like she was genuinely glad to see someone from TVOA again.

"I was hoping you could help me with something," I said carefully. "Gusto ko po sanang magtanong tungkol sa isang article na nailabas three years ago."

Madelle blinked, tilting her head. "Hmm. Which one?"

I hesitated for a second before finally saying it. "Yung tungkol sa hazing incident kay Jace Ballesteros."

Halos hindi nagbago ang expression niya. She didn't look surprised like she had been expecting it.

She let out a soft sigh, "Alam mo, gusto kitang matulungan. Pero... hindi ako ang dapat mong tanungin."

Napatigil ako. "Ano pong ibig mong sabihin?"

She offered me an apologetic smile. "I wasn't the editor-in-chief when that article was published. I was only the associate editor at the time."

Nanatili akong tahimik, pinoproseso ang sinabi niya.

"I stepped up after that article was released," she continued. "Nung nag-resign ang totoong editor-in-chief."

My pulse quickened. "May I know sino ang editor-in-chief noon?"

"Si Yvonne Cadogan."

Natigilan ako.

"Wait." Napakurap ako, pinoprocesso kung tama ba ang dinig ko. "Yvonne... Cadogan?"

Madelle nodded. "Mmm. If you want real answers, siya ang dapat mong kausapin. She owns a vet clinic in Mystown now. That's where you can find her."

I blinked, trying to process that information.

"She left the journalism scene after she resigned. Tahimik na 'yung buhay niya ngayon."

I felt my throat tighten. "Ate ni Nash?"

This time, Madelle actually looked surprised. "Oh? You know her?"

Hindi agad ako nakasagot. Si Nash, all this time, alam ba niya?

Tahimik akong tumango, barely managing to control my expression.

Madelle glanced at the time. "Well, if you're planning to talk to her, I suggest you do it soon. Hindi ko alam kung gusto pa niyang pag-usapan 'yan after all these years, pero..." She gave me a small smile. "Good luck."

I forced a nod. "Salamat sa tulong, Ms. Madelle."

She waved it off. "Madelle na lang and no worries. Good to see someone from TVOA again. Ingat kayo."

Kygan gave her a two-finger salute before turning to me. "Tara na?"

I nodded stiffly. We left the café. My mind was still tangled in thoughts as we walked back to Kygan's bike.

"Saan na kita ihahatid?" tanong niya habang inaayos ang ecobag sa JV box ng bike niya.

"Sa Gaia's Café na lang," sagot ko agad, still distracted.

"Gaia's?" Ulit niya, blinking. Parang hindi niya sure kung tama ba ang dinig niya.

Napakunot ang noo ko. "Oo. Bakit?"

He opened his mouth, then closed it. Then shook his head, muttering something under his breath bago tumingin ulit sa'kin. "Wala. Just... unexpected." He sighed, ruffling his hair bago sumampa sa motor. "Hop on, then."

Hindi na ako nagtanong pa. My mind was already too occupied with everything I had just learned.

Pagkalipas ng ilang minuto, habang nasa byahe kami, Kygan's voice cut through the silence.

"So," he started, his voice a little more serious now. "Anong plano mo?"

Napakapit ako nang mas mahigpit sa gilid ng upuan. "I'll talk to Yvonne."

"Do you need help?"

I hesitated. The offer was genuine, pero hindi ko rin alam kung kaya kong idamay pa siya rito.

"Hindi ko pa alam," sagot ko,"Pero salamat."

Kygan just nodded, "If you need a ride, just chat me. I added you on facebook."

The sincerity in his voice caught me off guard for a second, I just nodded kahit hindi naman niya nakita iyon.

***

Kahapon, kahit papaano, may energy pa akong pilit na pinanghahawakan. Pero ngayon, habang nakatayo ako sa harap ng TVOA booth, watching everyone move around me, wala akong maramdaman kundi ang bigat sa dibdib ko.

Halos puno pa rin ng folios ang mesa. Ciqa was flipping through a checklist, ticking off things habang si Ynigo at ang iba pang members ay abala sa pag-aayos.

I cleared my throat, "Ciqa, nasaan si Nash?" I asked

Ciqa didn't even look up from her list. "Nasa office. Nagle-layout para sa special issue natin for the Black & Maroon Fair. Dapat mailabas 'yon today."

I nodded, "Ah. Okay."

Ciqa finally glanced up and looked at me. "Bakit hindi mo alam?"

The tone of her voice made me blink. Hindi siya galit. Pero ramdam ko doon na parang inaakusahan niya ako.

Before I could even process it, she sighed, closing the checklist at tuluyan nang hinarap ako. "Rayne, may problema ba kayo ni Nash?"

I stilled. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," she continued, tilting her head, "kasi halata. Halatang-halata na iniiwasan mo s'ya. And now, you didn't even know that he was in the office, he hadn't even had his lunch because he's trying to plan, edit, layout all at once. Hindi naman sa nanunukat ako nang nagawa pero diba ikaw ang associate editor namin?"

My grip on the table tightened.

Ciqa exhaled sharply, shaking her head. "Kasi, Rayne, mahirap maging editor-in-chief nang walang kasamang associate. Wag mo naman sanang iwan si Nash. He needs you."

I know Ciqa said that out of concern but I wasn't prepared to hear it from her. I forced a nod because I wasn't about to argue with her. Pero deep inside, something twisted in my chest.

Hindi naman niya maiintindihan kung sasabihin ko ang side ko. So instead of answering, I turned away and find my way back to the office

The moment I pushed the door open, I saw Nash.

Nakatalikod siya, nakayuko sa screen ng laptop, ang isang kamay hawak ang mouse habang ang isa ay nakapatong sa mesa. His fingers are tapping idly against the surface. Several pages were spread out in front of him. Yung rough drafts, layout sheets, scribbled notes.

Slowly, he turned his head toward me. He looked calm.

"Alam mo ba?"

His brows slightly furrowed. "Alin?"

I clenched my fists at my sides, forcing my voice to stay steady. "Alam mo bang kapatid mo ang naglabas ng article kay Jace?"

The silence was deafening. He didn't react right away. At doon ko nakumpirma.

He knew. He knew all this time.

"Rayne—"

"You knew," my voice accusing him

His jaw tensed. Nagbago ang kanina ay kalmado niyang tindig. "Rayne, let me explain first—"

"You knew all this time!" My voice cracked, but I didn't care. "Pero hindi mo na naman sinabi sa'kin?"

He exhaled heavily, closing his eyes for half a second before looking at me again. "No, Rayne hindi mo naiintindihan."

I let out a sharp, bitter laugh. "Oh, so i-enlighten mo 'ko, Nash! Kasi sa nakikita ko, ang tagal mo na palang alam pero wala kang na namang ginawa kundi manahimik! I was looking for her! Alam mo yun!"

He inhaled sharply, his grip tightening around the desk. "Hindi gano'n 'yon—"

"Hindi gano'n?!" I snapped, stepping closer. "Alam mong hinahanap ko 'yung may pakana ng lahat ng 'to! Alam mong gusto kong malaman kung sino ang naglabas ng article na 'yon! And the whole time—" My voice wavered. "—the whole time, you knew the answes."

Nash's expression darkened, but his voice remained steady. Low and careful. "Rayne, stop."

Stop? No. Hindi ako titigil.

"You protected her," I spat, chest tightened with something I couldn't name. "Pinili mong protektahan ang kapatid mo kahit alam mong may nasaktan dahil sa kanya. Pinili mong manahimik, kahit—"

"Pleaso don't go in there. That's not true, Rayne."

His voice was firm, but not unkind. Hindi siya sumigaw. Hindi niya ako pinigilan. Pero may kung anong bigat sa paraan ng pagbigkas niya.

At sa hindi ko maipaliwanag na dahilan, mas lalo akong nagagalit. Bakit ang kalmado niya?

I let out a shaky breath, stepping even closer. "Bakit? Kasi totoo? Kasi alam mong tama ako?"

Nash's fingers curled tighter into fists. "Rayne—"

"Now, you'll gonna use your excuse again? Ano, na hindi niya ginusto 'yon? Na hindi niya kasalanan?!"

"Oo."

Mababa pero matigas ang sagot niya. His throat bobbed. "It wasn't her."

"Ano?" I blinked.

"It wasn't Yvonne," he said again, pabulong. "It was Ms. Aranzado. Siya ang nag-approve ng article. Huli na nang malaman ni Yvonne na ako ang sumulat noon."

Nanlamig ako.

"I confronted Yvonne when I read it. Sinugod ko siya, tinanong ko kung paano 'yon na-publish—"

His voice wavered, his hands tightened around the edge of the table.

"Pero hindi siya. It wasn't her. She never approved it. It was Ms. Aranzado's decision. Yvonne... she blamed herself for it. She still does."

My chest ached.

"She left journalism because of it, Rayne." His voice cracked, just slightly. "You think ikaw lang ang may guilt sa nangyari?"

"Pero siya ang editor-in-chief, Nash!" I yelled. "Siya ang editor-in-chief, at hinayaan niyang mangyari 'yon!"

"And do you think hindi niya 'yon pinagsisihan?!"

It was the first time his voice rose. Pero kahit mas mataas na ang tono niya, hindi siya galit. It was frustration. And a kind of exhaustion I didn't understand.

Halos tumawa ako sa sakit. "So ano? I should just let it go? Kasi nagsisisi siya? Kasi nagsisisi kayo? 'Yon na 'yon? Okay na lahat?!"

Nash's breathing was uneven now. "Rayne, please—"

"Please what? Tumigil ako? Tumahimik ako?" I let out a breathless laugh. "Masyado mo namang pinagtatanggol ang ate mo, Nash?"

He flinched. That one hit something. Pero wala na akong pakialam. I was already too far gone.

My voice dropped lower. "You wrote that article about Jace, Nash. Ikaw mismo ang nagsulat ng article na 'yon."

I saw how his whole body tensed.

"And now," I continued, voice sharp, "pinagtakpan mo ang ate mo. Gano'n ka ba talaga? You can dictate who you think is at fault?

Nash inhaled sharply, closing his eyes for a second. "Rayne, I didn't meant it."

"Hindi," I shot back. "Kasi parang ang galing mo, eh. Nung si Jace ang tinuturo ng mga tao, nagsulat ka ng article tungkol sa kanya—pero ngayon bigla kang tahimik? Bakit, Nash?"

I stepped forward, my voice barely above a whisper. "Dahil ate mo ang sangkot?"

His shoulders trembled, pero kahit anong pilit kong basahin ang mukha niya—hindi ko na siya mabasa.

"Rayne, sorry."

Halos napaatras ako.

"Sorry?" Paulit-ulit kong nang napakinggan ang salitang 'yon pero parang wala namang nagawa. "Anong gagawin ko sa sorry mo, Nash?"

He exhaled like he was grounding himself. "I'm sorry..." Inulit pa niya tila wala siyang ibang kayang gawin kung hindi ang humingi ng tawad.

Kahit anong sakit ang iparamdam ko sa kanya—huli na ang lahat.

"Ano bang problema n'yong dalawa?!"

The door slammed open, and Ciqa's voice echoed in the room.

"Nagsisigawan kayo rito—rinig na rinig sa labas! Hindi ba kayo nahihiya?!"

She stepped inside, maingat ang galaw niya bago pumagitna sa aming dalawa. Pinukol niya kami ng matalim na tingin

"Ano 'to?! Anong nangyayari?! What the hell, guys?!"

Neither of us spoke.

But that only pissed her off more.

"Tapos ngayon hindi kayo iimik?!" She scoffed, running a hand through her hair. "Ano bang pinagtatalunan n'yo ha? Hindi n'yo ba yan kayang pag-usapan ng hindi sumisigaw?!"

I swallowed hard. My hands are trembling at my sides. Ibinulsa ko iyon sa suot na pants.

"Ranye—" she exhaled sharply, "Ano bang nangyayari sa'yo?" Ramdam ko ang inis sa boses niya.

Wala akong masabi because I know she wouldn't get it dahil hindi naman sila iyong nawalan. None of them would understand the pain of losing someone knowing it could have been prevented.

"I'm sorry. It was my fault." Pareho kaming natigilan nang magsalita si Nash.

I looked up still my heart pounding. Hindi si Nash sa akin nakatingin. He was looking at Ciqa. Apologizing to her like this whole thing was his fault. Parang tinatanggap niyang kasalanan niya lahat. Pati ang galit ko.

"No."

Ciqa's voice came firm, shaking her head. "It wasn't just your fault, Nash. Pareho kayo."

Ibinaling niya ang tingin sa akin. Malambit ang ekspresion ng mata niya pero may hinanakit.

"Rayne... looked at Nash. He was busy finishing the layout for the issue na kayong dalawa dapat ang gumagawa." Her voice cracked, but she pushed forward. "If you guys have personal problems, huwag ninyong dalhin dito sa office."

"It's okay, Ciqa. Ako talaga ang may kasalanan. Don't blame, Rayne. Please."

I barely moved. Didn't even react.

Ciqa inhaled deeply, frustration flickering across her face. "Hindi, Nash. Hindi lang siya 'yung may bigat na dinadala. We all do."

Then, she turned to me and this time, I saw it. The irritation. The exhaustion. The way her brows furrowed just a little too deep, her arms crossing tighter over her chest.

"At ikaw, Rayne."

I stilled.

"Ano bang nangyayari sa'yo?" Her voice wasn't just frustrated, it was rather tired. Tired of me. "Lahat kami may ginagawa, may kanya-kanyang pinoproblema, pero ikaw? Parang sinasadya mong malunod mag-isa."

I opened my mouth pero wala akong maisagot.

"Hindi mo ba nakikita? Ang daming umaasa sa'yo sa pub, pero parang ang dali na lang sa'yo na iwan lahat. Hindi lang ikaw ang may pinagdadaanan."

Ciqa's words hit me like a punch to the gut.

For a second, all I could do was stand there, letting her words sink in.

Lahat tayo may pinagdadaanan, Rayne.

Right. We all go through struggles. We all fight battles no one else can see. Pero hindi pantay-pantay ang laban.

We are not in the same boat. Some people have lifeboats, life jackets, a whole damn crew keeping them afloat. Others are left clinging to broken pieces, trying not to sink.

And there's me. No boat. No life jacket. Nothing to hold on to. Just drowning. Sinking deeper and deeper.

Ciqa asking why I wasn't swimming... why I wasn't trying harder.... nudge my whole system.

Gusto ko namang lumangoy. Gusto ko namang umahon. Pero hindi ko alam kung paano.

"Ang dali lang sabihin, 'di ba? Na hindi lang ako ang nasasaktan."

I let out a shaky breath, trying to steady myself, but my chest felt too tight. "Na hindi lang ako ang may dinadala... pero bakit?"

I looked at Ciqa— then at Nash—waiting for an answer I knew wouldn't come.

"Bakit parang bawal pasanin yung bigat na dinadala ko?" My throat tightened but I didn't stop. "Bakit parang kasalanan ko pang nahihirapan na rin ako. Sinusubukan ko rin naman bumangon. Pero mahirap... masakit, Nash. I felt empty everyday. Akala mo ba madali lang sakin ang hindi ka pansinin? Ang hindi ka tingnan like how I used to before? Did you think I wanted to know it was you... why it has to be you?"

I let out a sharp breath, shaking my head. My tears spilled my cheeks.

"Oo na, Ciqa. Hindi lang ako ang may problema. Alam ko naman... pero dahil ba may pinapasan din kayo?" I looked at them—at Ciqa, at Nash—searching their faces, searching for something, anything that would make this make sense. "Dahil ba may sarili rin kayong bigat, ibig sabihin, mas magaan na dapat 'yung akin? Dahil na nagsisisi ka Nash, my pain shouldn't matter? Dahil ba hindi mo ginusto ang nangyari, patatawarin na kita?"

The room was too quiet. Ciqa's lips parted like she wanted to say something but she hesitated. Because she knew the answer. We all did.

Just because everyone was struggling, didn't mean my pain hurt any less.

No one spoke. Not Ciqa, whose frustration earlier was focused on me. Not Nash, who still hadn't looked at me.

I swallowed hard, forcing out a bitter laugh. "Sinasabi mong tulungan ko si Nash? Na intindihin ko rin siya?" My voice cracked, but I pushed through it. "Pero tinanong mo man lang ba kung may kakayahan pa 'kong tumulong?"

"Oo, hindi lang ako ang may dinadala," I exhaled shakily, looking past them, past this room, past the weight pressing down on me. "Pero bakit parang bawal? Bakit parang lahat kayo may karapatan mahirapan, pero ako, hindi?"

And I was done waiting for them to understand. I took a slow step back. Nash eyes bore into me. Ciqa blinked. I turned to them. This time my voice is softer but the words came final.

"Kung wala na akong silbi dito, edi tapusin na natin 'to."

"Rayne—"

I turned to Ciqa, cutting him off before he could say anything. "I quit, Ciqa. Happy?"

Her breath hitched, it almost broke. "W-What?"

"Ayoko na."

I saw a tear fell from her eyes. "Rayne, hindi 'yon ang ibig kong sabihin," Ciqa said quickly, she voice sounds panicking. "T-That's not what I meant. I just—Ayoko lang na ganito. Ayoko lang na parang hindi mo na kami pinapansin—"

Nash took a step forward. His expression were tight, his jaw clenched like he wanted to argue, like he wanted to pull the words back into my mouth.

"Rayne, please—" His voice sounded wrecked. Like he wasn't just asking me to stay in TVOA. Like he was asking me not to walk away from him.

I let out a shaky breath, shaking my head. "Pagod na 'ko." My voice cracked.

I saw pain in Nash's eyes. The way his shoulders tensed like he wanted to grab onto me, to stop me. I saw regret in Ciqa. The way she swallowed hard, like she knew no amount of arguing would fix this. Like she knew, I had already made up my mind.

I exhaled shakily, ramdam ko kung paano sumisiksik 'yung pagod hanggang sa kaibuturan ng buto ko. Para akong nalunod sa sarili kong katawan, pinipilit lumalangoy, pinipilit inaanod ang sarili pabalik sa pampang, pinipilit abutin ang kamay ng kahit sino, pero habang tumatagal, habang lumalakas ang hampas ng alon, lalo lang akong hinahatak pababa, lalo lang nawawalan ng saysay 'yung pagpupumiglas ko. Walang nakakakita kung paano ko pinipilit ianggat ang sarili hanggang sa unti-unting nilulunod ng alon.

I realized I just wanted to stop fighting it, stop reaching, stop gasping for air. I just wanted to let go.

"Salamat sa lahat," I said as I forced a small, empty smile then I turned and walked away.

I finally accepted it—matagal na akong nalulunod at wala nang natirang dahilan para lumangoy pa.