Chapter 21 - SAME UMBRELLA

Tahimik ang bahay pag-uwi ko. Wala nang tunog ng television sa sala, walang maingay na paghuhugas ng plato mula sa kusina, at wala na ring mga biglaang tanong ni Itay na laging bumabasag sa katahimikan. Sa mga unang gabi matapos silang umalis papuntang Maynila, ramdam ko ang malalim na kalungkutan sa bawat sulok ng bahay.

Pagpasok ko, iniabot ko ang bag ko sa upuan at marahang isinara ang pinto. Huminga ako nang malalim, pilit kinukumbinsi ang sarili na sanay na ako dito. Pero sa totoo lang, hindi.

Napatingin ako sa dining table na may nakatambak pang mga papeles mula sa TVOA. Lumapit ako at inayos ang mga ito habang binubuhay ang lamp sa tabi ng mesa. Ganito ang takbo ng mga gabi ko pagkatapos umalis ni Itay—pagod mula sa trabaho pero may layang magdesisyon para sa sarili ko.

Pagkatapos kong maayos ang gamit, sinilip ko ang laman ng ref. May isang malamig na sandwich at botelya ng tubig lang ang nandoon. Inabot ang sandwich at dumiretso sa sofa. Isinandal ko ang ulo ko sa gilid nito habang tinatakpan ang mukha ng braso.

Ito ang buhay ko ngayon. Walang kasabay kumain. Walang magrereklamo kapag nagbabad ako sa laptop hanggang madaling araw. Walang sumisita, pero walang nag-aalaga. Walang kaaway, pero wala ring kasama.

Kinabukasan, maaga akong pumasok sa opisina ni Mrs. Mababangloob. Ang student assistant position na ito ang kondisyon niya para makumpleto ko ang INC sa klase niya. Sa kabila ng terror reputation niya, she was surprisingly considerate, in her own rigid way.

"Good morning, Ma'am," bati ko habang inilalapag ang mga papeles sa mesa niya. Nakatingin siya sa laptop, pero tumango siya bilang tugon. "Narito na po 'yung documents para sa report."

"File them chronologically," sagot niya nang hindi inaalis ang tingin sa monitor. "And prepare the minutes for tomorrow's meeting. Use concise language this time, Ms. Carreon. Walang drama."

Napangiwi ako nang bahagya pero sumunod agad. Matapos ang shift ko, dumiretso ako sa TVOA office. Tahimik ang office nang pumasok ako pero ramdam ko pa rin ang bigat ng nakaraang araw.

The election coverage was finally over, yet the room still carried the lingering energy of chaos—scattered papers, empty coffee cups, at ang ilang members na nakahandusay na sa mga lamesa sa sobrang pagod.

"Guys, 'yung final reports, pa-submit na lang sa desk ko," ani Vashnee habang inaayos ang mga folders sa harap niya. Her voice still carried that familiar authority, pero may kakaibang lambot na rin. Alam naming lahat kung bakit.

Huling coverage na niya bilang Editor-in-Chief.

"Grabe, Vash, parang kailan lang, ikaw rin ang nag-lead ng first coverage natin," sabat ni Ynigo, sabay hagod sa likod ng leeg niya na tila nakakaramdam ng nostalgia. "And now, ikaw pa rin sa last."

Tumawa si Vashnee, mahina pero totoo. "Oo nga, no? Pero kung tutuusin, mas chaotic kayo dati."

"Hoy, hindi na kami ganun ngayon, ha," reklamo ni Ciqa habang isinusubsob ang mukha sa mga braso niya sa mesa. "Kahit papaano, nag-mature kami kahit konti."

"Konti lang talaga?" singit ni Nash mula sa kabilang table, kunot-noong nakatingin kay Ciqa pero may bahagyang ngiti sa labi.

Napangiti rin ako habang pinagmamasdan sila. The room felt alive in a way that only we could create. At kahit pagod na pagod kami, ramdam kong walang ibang lugar na mas gugustuhin namin kundi ang loob ng office.

Tumingin si Vashnee sa paligid, parang sinisiksik sa memorya ang bawat detalye ng opisina—ang gulo, ang tawa, ang ingay. "Ang weird," she said softly. "Alam kong ilang araw na lang, pero parang hirap pa rin tanggapin na this is my last time with you guys like this."

Tahimik lang kami. Alam naming lahat ang nararamdaman niya.

"Vash," simula ni Ciqa, may bahid ng biro pero halatang pigil ang emosyon, "Sa susunod na adventure mo, maghahanap ka ba ng kapalit namin? New and improved version ng TVOA team mo?"

Tumawa si Vashnee pero mahina at may bahid ng lungkot. "Wala akong papalitan sa inyo," sabi niya, sabay lingon sa aming lahat. "You're irreplaceable. Hindi ko man naipapakita lagi, pero sobrang proud ako sa inyo."

Hindi ko mapigilang mapatingin sa kanya nang marinig ko 'yon. She was always so strong, so put-together. Pero ngayon, there was a softness in her eyes that made me want to hug her.

Nagtagal pa kami sa opisina pero isa-isa na ring nagpaalam ang mga tao. Sandaling umalis si Nash dahil pinatawag siya sa deparment nila. Naiwan si Vashnee sa desk niya. Her laptop was open and her fingers were typing steadily as she worked on the turnover proposal. Ako naman, nakatapat sa isang listahan ng trainees pero wala ni isang salita ang nagreregister sa utak ko.

Nagpangalumbaba ako, pilit na iniintindi ang binabasa. "Lima lang ang nakapasa sa evaluation?" tanong ko, basag sa katahimikan.

Vashnee paused and looked at me. Her lips pressed into a thin line before she spoke. "To be honest? Dalawa lang ang nakapasa sa standard ni Nash. Pero I convinced him na puwede pa n'yong i-train ang tatlo. Hindi tayo p'wedeng mabawasan ng members ngayon, Rayne. You know what will happen if we don't meet the quota—Student Affairs will take over."

Napabuntong-hininga ako, ibinalik ang tingin sa listahan. Pero hindi mawala ang naiwan niyang salita. Puwede pa n'yong i-train. Tumusok iyon sa dibdib ko, reminding me once again that she wouldn't be part of that "we" anymore.

"Vash," I started, bago pa ako tamaan ng kaba, "Kakayanin kaya namin talaga?"

Nag-angat siya ng tingin sa akin, halatang gulat sa tanong ko. Her expression softened, and for a moment, I saw something vulnerable in her eyes. She leaned back in her chair, folding her arms over her chest.

"Sa totoo lang, Rayne?" she said, her voice low. "Hindi ko alam."

Napasinghap ako, but before I could respond, she smiled faintly. "But I want to believe you can. I need to believe you can."

I blinked at her, caught off guard by the raw honesty of her words. "So you're doubting us?" biro ko, pilit binabaling sa mas magaan na usapan.

She chuckled, shaking her head. "Hindi gano'n. Alam kong capable kayo. Ikaw, Rayne, one of the best writers we've had. Si Nash? Sharp and decisive, kahit medyo overbearing minsan."

Tumigil siya, and her gaze swept across the office like she was committing it to memory. "Pero alam mo, minsan naiisip ko... what if hindi na lang ako umalis? What if I stay? Extend my term, finish what I started, and make sure solid kayo bago ako mag-move on?"

Natigilan ako sa narinig ko. The rawness in her voice caught me off guard.

"I'm scared, Rayne," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "TVOA has been my home for so long. Hindi ko alam kung sino ako kapag wala ako rito. Natatakot akong mawala 'yung sarili ko kapag iniwan ko 'tong tahanan na 'to."

Her fingers fidgeted against the desk as if she was trying to ground herself.

"You know," she continued, her gaze distant, "nung bago ako dito, I didn't know if I belonged. Pero si Ate Sam? She saw something in me. She trusted me even when I couldn't trust myself."

A faint smile tugged at her lips as she reminisced. "There was this one time, during a major event, nagkamali ako ng layout ng souvenir program. I thought I ruined everything. Pero si Ate Sam, kalmado lang. She just sat beside me and said, 'It's okay, Vash. Ayusin natin 'to.' And we did. Together."

Tumawa siya nang mahina, her smile soft but bittersweet. "That's the kind of leader I wanted to be. Gusto ko rin na maging tahanan ang TVOA para sa iba. But how do you walk away from something like that? How do you leave a family behind?"

Her words hit me hard, and for a moment, I didn't know what to say. "You don't really leave, Vash," sagot ko, maingat na pinipili ang mga salita ko. "Not completely. Kasi lahat ng iniwan mo dito—sa amin—it's part of who we are now. It's part of what makes this place home."

Napatingin siya sa akin, her lips twitching into a faint smile. "What if hindi 'yun enough?"

"It will be," I said firmly. "Because you made it enough. You made us enough."

Tahimik siya sandali, studying my face like she was trying to figure out if I truly believed what I said. Then she nodded, her smile growing just a little brighter.

Tumayo siya, at lumapit sa akin"Ikaw na ang bahala sa kanila, ha?"

Saglit akong natigilan.

"Hindi lang bilang Associate Editor," dagdag niya, "pero bilang kaibigan. Alam kong kaya mo. Pag wala na ako dito para i-guide kayo, I know you have what it takes to keep them together."

Napatango na lang ako. Hindi ko mahanap ang tamang salita para sagutin siya.

Nilapitan niya ako at niyakap nang mahigpit. "It's your team now, Rayne. Promise me. You're going to keep them together."

"Yes," I whispered, my voice barely audible. "I promise, Vash. I'll take care of this place. Just like you did. I'll make sure it stays the home you built for us."

When I first walked into TVOA, all I wanted was to find justice for Jace's suicide. Para bang iyon na lang ang rason kung bakit ako gumigising araw-araw. That purpose consumed me entirely. Pero hindi ko inasahan ang nangyari pagkatapos—meeting them, forming connections I didn't know I needed.

They didn't just welcome me; they embraced me. It wasn't just about the scholarship anymore. It was about the shared tears over deadlines, and the victories we celebrated together. In those moments, I found a home—a place where I was valued not just for what I could do, but for who I was.

Nang matapos namin ni Vash ang mga paperworks, nagpasya na kaming umuwi. Past six PM na, at mukhang uulan na naman. Makulimlim ang langit sa Arrion.

"Umuulan na naman. May payong ka bang dala?" tanong ko sa kaniya habang naglalakad kami palabas.

"Wala, pero parating na si Dad. We have a dinner—birthday ni Ashton," sagot niya, bago tumigil at napansin ang lalaking nakasandal sa entrance ng general building. Si Nash, may hawak na payong at tila naghihintay. She smirked, teasing. "Well, mukhang di mo na kailangan ng payong."

Pinandilatan ko siya ng mata, pero hindi ko maitago ang ngiti sa labi. Nilapitan kami ni Nash, at nagpaalam naman si Vash nang dumating na ang sasakyan nila.

"'Yo, Billie! Happy birthday!" bati ni Nash sa kapatid ni Vash na si Ashton, whose serious eyes locked on mine unexpectedly. May halong gulat at pagtataka ang mga titig nito, as if he knew me from somewhere.

"Ingat, Rayne. Nash, ingatan mo 'yan," ani Vash, sabay tapik sa braso ng kuya niya. "Kuya, tara na!"

Bago sila tuluyang makaalis, my eyes caught sight of something on Ashton's arm—a tattoo of a symbol I'd seen before. It matched the one on Kygan's necklace and that girl's wrist tattoo from weeks ago. Sigma Perpetua again.

Once is an accident. Twice is a coincidence. But three? That's clearly a pattern.

Naputol ang iniisip ko nang magsalita si Nash, na nakatingin na pala sa akin.

"Do you know each other?"

"Vashnee's brother?" tanong ko, shaking my thoughts away.

Binuksan niya ang payong at hinila ako palapit para hindi ako mabasa. "No. Ngayon ko lang siya nakita."

"I got curious about his tattoo though," I admitted, though I tried to sound nonchalant.

"What tattoo?" tanong niya, his tone shifting to curiosity.

"This feels weird. Alam mo, never mind," I chuckled, brushing it off. Ayoko siyang mag-alala sa mga random hunches ko. "Anyway, kumusta ang meeting mo kay Dean Bautista? May problema ba?"

"Ah. Wala naman. He just wanted me to pitch our system to the national committee for the McGrant Scholarship in Boston," sabi niya casually, as if hindi iyon big deal.

"And?"

"And what?"

"Tell me you said yes?"

Napatawa siya. "Tinanggihan ko yung offer niya."

Napahinto ako, kaya't napilitan siyang tumigil din para payungan ako. "Bakit mo naman tinanggihan?"

Tiningnan niya ako nang diretso sa mata, his expression calm and sure. "Hindi ako makaka-focus sa pub natin kapag nanalo 'yung capstone sa pitching. Ayokong iwan sa 'yo ang responsibilidad ko. It'll be too much for you to handle alone."

Yumuko ako, intimidated by the sincerity in his gaze. "But that's a big opportunity for you."

Hinawakan niya ang baba ko, gently tilting it up so I'd look at him.

"Rayne, okay lang 'yon. I can find another funder if I want to push through with my capstone later," he reassured.

"But still—"

"Hey," he interrupted with a smile. "It's fine. Mas importante sa akin ang pub. We started this together. Hindi kita iiwan mag-isa."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Pero sigurado ka na bang ayaw mong ituloy?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

I had heard from Ciqa that Nash's capstone project was among the first to be nominated for funding by the Arrion Institute of Technology. The campus seemed eager to support their project for the Student Regent's information system.

"Sabi ni Ciqa, malaking tulong daw iyon para sa regent," dagdag ko pa, hoping to understand why he seemed so hesitant.

Nash's expression softened, and he sighed deeply. "The truth is, Rayne, that project was supposed to be ours," he admitted, his voice laced with a hint of frustration. "My original proposal was for TVOA's information system. Pero si Mr. Tan, he intervened and convinced us to create one for the Student Regent instead. I designed the system to be adaptable, with the intention of repurposing it for TVOA after finals. JournPort belongs to us."

Napaawang ang bibig ko. A mix of admiration and guilt swept over me—admiration for his selflessness and love for the publication, guilt for not realizing sooner just how much he was willing to sacrifice. He really cared for the pub this much.

Umiling siya, as if reading my thoughts and silently telling me not to dwell on it.

"Grabe ka na, Mr. EIC. Ang hirap i-reach ng pangarap mo sa pub."

"We'll reach it together, Ms. Associate," he said, dimples deepening as he smiled. "Just stay beside me, okay?"

I looked away, heat rising to my cheeks. His words left me flustered, and I hated how transparent I was.

"Pinagsasasabi mo na naman, Nash," irap ko, but the smile on my lips betrayed me.

Natawa siya, pero natigil din agad nang mapansin kong unti-unti na siyang nababasa ng ulan. My hand moved before I could even think, pulling him closer under the umbrella para hindi siya tuluyang mabasa. Pero sa pagmamadali ko, napalakas yata ang hila ko—our faces so close that our lips touched.

Parang tumigil ang mundo ko. Both of us froze, nakatingin lang sa isa't isa, gulat na gulat. I quickly let go, pero hindi rin ako makalayo dahil nakakapit ako sa payong sa pagitan namin. My heart hammered against my chest, and I couldn't even find the courage to look at him properly.

"Sorry," I whispered, my voice barely audible over the rain.

Narinig ko ang bahagyang tawa niya. "No need to apologize," he said softly, pero ramdam ko ang pilyong ngiti niya kahit hindi ko siya direktang tinitingnan.

Napairap ako, kahit parang namumula na ako hanggang tainga. I stepped forward, trying to keep my distance, pero hindi ko rin mapigilan ang ngiting pilit na umaakyat sa mga labi ko.

Pagdating namin sa waiting shed, umalis siya sandali sa tabi ko. He removed his jacket and handed it to me. May hoodie pa siya sa ilalim noon.

"Baka magkasakit ka," sabi niya nang makita niyang nag-aalangan akong tanggapin. "Too thin," dagdag niya, eyeing my light cardigan.

"Thank you," I murmured, wrapping the jacket around me.

Tahimik lang kami sa shed habang hinihintay na humina ang ulan.

"Actually," Nash said, breaking the silence. His voice was steady but warm, pulling my focus entirely on him. "Ako ang dapat magpasalamat. For saying yes to my offer to become my associate."

Napatingin ako sa kaniya, surprised at his sincerity. "I guess... it's about time," sabi ko nang mahina. "To finally write something I truly want to."

Tumango siya, a quiet smile on his lips. Silence fell between us again, pero this time, it felt different—like the storm outside had no hold on the stillness we shared.

Hanggang sa magsalita siya ulit, breaking the quiet in a way na hindi ko inaasahan.

"I'm going to court you."

Napaangat agad ang tingin ko sa kaniya. My heartbeat stumbled, and I couldn't tell if it was from surprise or something else entirely. His tone was calm, pero sigurado.

"I had a crush on you when I first saw you," he said. "You were crying by the pond."

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Umiiyak ako sa pond? I can't recall it."

"Hindi ko alam na may nagkaka-crush pala kapag umiiyak ka. Hindi ba dapat kapag masaya ka?" biro ko, pilit pinapanatili ang gaan ng usapan kahit naguguluhan ako.

He chuckled, a soft laugh that made the tension dissipate. "Let me finish kasi. I didn't say I had a crush when you cried. I just started to notice you because I knew why you were crying that time," he explained, his eyes softening. May something sa mga mata niya. Napaka-genuine ng kislap noon.

"Sige nga... bakit ako umiiyak?" tanong ko. Hindi ko talaga matandaan ang sinasabi niya.

"Nakita kita noon sa gazebo. Naghihintay ka rin na tumila ang ulan, kagaya ko," aniya. "There were so many people there, but you didn't seem to notice. You were focused on something else entirely. Nakatingin ka noon sa isang butterfly, struggling to fly in the middle of the rain."

Parang may bumalik sa aking alaala nang marinig ko iyon, at unti-unting nag-flashback ang araw na iyon. I remember now. Nag-cover ako noon para sa isang article, at pabalik na sana nang bumuhos ang malakas na ulan. Nakasilong na ako sa gazebo nang makita ko yung paru-paro—isang butterfly na parang may rainbow sa mga pakpak. Noong una, napahanga lang ako. Pero nang mapansin kong basang-basa ang mga pakpak nito, my heart ached for the helpless creature.

"And then you ran," he continued, his voice soft, "you saved the butterfly. You held her in your hands so gently."

"Naaalala ko na," I whispered, almost to myself. I remembered how I carefully cupped it in my hands, shielding it from the rain. I hurried to find a nearby plant, somewhere she could rest and recover.

"You left the butterfly on the plant near the pond," he said softly, his tone almost reverent. "I stayed there to look after it when you left. But slowly... she died because of the cold weather."

Napatingin ako sa kanya, my heart sinking as the memory hit me harder than I expected. "And I cried because a butterfly died that day?" I asked him, trying to mask the ache in my voice.

Nash nodded. "That's when I saw how pure your heart is. That's when I knew—I wanted to know you.," he said, his voice filled with quiet admiration.

At that moment, I knew. Ako ang girl sa photograph na nasa kwarto niya. The girl he talked about so fondly.

"You were the first girl who captured my attention when I transferred to Arrion," he admitted, his words is making my chest tighten. But even as he spoke, I realized something he didn't know.

He was wrong. I didn't cry because the butterfly died.

I cried because I saw myself in her—broken wings, shattered soul. Kahit gaano karami ang tumulong sa kanya, she couldn't make it. The cold and the rain were too much.

And I cried because I was afraid I would end up just like her. That no matter how much help I received, no matter how much anyone cared, I wouldn't make it through the storm.