Did I give him a goodbye kiss? No. But I agreed to. After another sad cry, I went back home. And to my surprise, my mom hadn't realised. So I carried on packing.

I was gonna see Billie before I was drove away. My mom was supposed to be taking me Sunday. Tomorrow she goes on her business trip, Friday night, and she has to get her sleep tonight for driving tomorrow or something stupid. So tomorrow would be my last night with him, and Saturday would be my last day. And I don't know if I was ready for that.

~

"Where's Sydney?" Billie asked as he shut the window after he had climbed in.

"She's passed out on the sofa downstairs."

"Passed out?"

"She said something about her next-door neighbour recently having a baby. So it keeps her up all night," I shrugged as I sat down on Addison bed as Billie sat on mine. "Have you told the guys I'm leaving after Sunday?" I asked him.

"No," he said shaking his head. "I figured you'd want to."

"I don't even know how." I shrugged. The atmosphere felt so sad.

"I'm really gonna miss you," he said looking over at me. I got up off Addison's bed as I sat myself next to him.

"I'm gonna miss you too Beej, I don't think I'll ever find someone like you."

"Please don't forget me and all the things we did together,"

"Y'know I won't," I said sadly. Trying not to cry again.

"I never thought this would actually happen. I mean I worried about it so much but I could never really think you'd have to go one day. What about happy endings? Are those just not real? Is that just bullshit?" He asked me obviously upset. "I've been through so much pain, and you're the one thing that stopped it. And now you're going. I don't know what I'm gonna do with myself."

I noticed his hands begging to shake in his lap.

"Billie breathe," I said begging to worry, he was on the edge of a panic attack.

"I am- I just-"

"-Billie please just focus on breathing for a moment."

He nodded. As he breathed in and out heavily. After a moment he looked at me. Upset.

"I'm sorry, I just- I love you."

I couldn't help but smile when he told me he loved me. And I guess my smile made his appear.

"You always had a contagious smile," he said lightly. "I'll miss that."

"I'll call you every night."

"Promise me?"

"I swear," I promised, "I'm gonna miss hearing you sing."

"I can sing to you on the phone," he teased.

"I know your joking, but I'd like it if you did." I sighed.

"If you want me to I will," he said as he put his arm around my shoulder.

I looked down at my suitcase on the floor. It didn't have everything in it yet. I had to get some stuff out my moms closet. In there were Addisons things. And I wanted to take something with me. So I felt like I hadn't completely left everything.

"I still need to grab some stuff out of my mom's room." I sighed leaning my head onto him.

"Like?"

"Most of Addisons things are kept in my moms closet. I wanna take some things with me, y'know?"

"Of course I do,"

I stood up as his hand moved off of my shoulder and I looked over at him. "You coming?"

"What into your mom's room?" He asked surprised. I nodded. "Are you joking? I don't know what's in there."

"Come on Billie," I laughed extending my arm out and offering a hand. "Please."

"But-"

"-please. I'm begging."

He sighed as he took my hand and stood up. "Only because I'm helplessly in love with you." He muttered as I dragged him out of my room. I slowly opened my mom's bedroom door with my other free hand as I revealed her room.

She had a rather old looking room. It looked as if it would belong to an old lady. She had flowery bedding, the bedroom walls were painted white originally, but due to her smoking so much in here, the white had gone an off yellowy colour. I walked over to the closet she had at the other side of the room still dragging Billie with me as I finally let go of his hand and opened the closet door.

My mom had a rather big closet. So I rummaged around on the top shelf of it looking for the box labelled 'Addison'.

"Do you see a box with addys name on it?" I asked Billie still looking. He walked next to me as he looked on the shelf.

"No, I don't think so."

"It should be in here, it's just a small box."

"How small?"

"Like... it's like as big as this," I said motioning with my hands, "and this wide,"

"Got it," he said as he looked back away from me and carried on looking for the box.

After a while, Billie finally found it right at the back as he grabbed it out for me and passed it me over. I sat down on my mom's bedroom floor on a rug as Billie sat down in front of me too. The box between the both of us.

"You don't happen to have a pocket knife on you... do you?" I asked him.

"I'm an animal not a criminal."

"Yeah, I didn't think so, I guess I'll go get one from downstairs," I shrugged pushing myself up from the floor. I left Billie in the room as I quickly went down the stairs, I passed Sydney who was still asleep on the sofa and quietly opened the draw in the kitchen. I picked up a knife and held it carefully in my hand and headed back up the stairs and into my mom's room with it. I walked back in to see Billie still on the floor peacefully, waiting for me. I sat back down In my spot and cut through the cello tape at the top of the box.

Once I did that I placed the knife beside me as I opened it up and began to pick things out of it.

"This stuff is so old," I said picking up one of Addison's old teddy bears and putting it on the floor.

"Your mom decided to box these?"

"I did. But my mom said she would keep the box so it didn't get ruined." I said before picking up a photo album. I flicked through the first few pages before putting it down. Billie picked it up afterwards looking through it.

"Your mom use to take photos of you?"

"She's not completely heartless Billie," I laughed slightly.

"No, I'm not saying that-"

"-And anyway. That was the time before I started getting into trouble. I was a good kid back then."

He nodded as he carried on looking through. I picked up some more old things out the box before laying my hands on some letters.

I flicked through them. Most of them were nothing to do with Addy.

"Is this you?" Billie asked me, I looked to see him pointing to a small child on a bike in the summer. I laughed slightly.

"That's me,"

He looked back at it and smiled before he carried on flicking through. I enjoyed seeing him smile for the moment. "You were a cute kid," he said.

"Were?"

"Yeah, now you're not so cute." He teased.

"Shut up!" I laughed dropping the letters as I pushed his shoulder gently. He chuckled before looking at me. He smiled once more before carrying on looking through the photos.

I picked up the letters and scanned through them.

This one is addressed to my mom, so is this one, and this one- they all are.

How did they make their way into this box? My mom almost always keeps her mail on the table in the living room. Even if it's useless mail she keeps a whole pile of it there. Unless she didn't want me to see these?

I unfolded the first letter as I began to read it.

'Dear Maya

               I understand since The decision of us breaking up deeply hurt you, and I'm sorry that things had to turn out this way. And as much as you may not want to hear from me right now please understand I still have two little girls living with you. I would love to be apart of their lives, and I really would appreciate if you could consider letting me see them at any point. I'll be waiting for your letter back. Thank you,

From Marcus,'

Dear Maya. Maya was obviously my mom. From Marcus. Marcus is my dad... "this is from my dad."

"What is?" Billie asked looking up from the album clueless.

"Read this," I said passing him the letter. I watched as his eyes scanned over it and he looked up at me shocked.

"I thought you told me your dad didn't want to be apart of your life?"

"That's what I was told,"

"Are there any more?"

"Loads," I said looking few the other ones, "'dear Maya, blah blah blah.... please write me back," I read out loud scanning through. "'How is Addison and Payton doing? It's killing me not being able to see them.'" I read. I looked at the next letter. And they became sadder and sadder. It began to become my dad just begging for my mom to answer him. Just to write him back. Or give him something to work on.

"Why did your mom and dad break up?"

"I got told he just left, but looking at these it seems like more happened."

"He doesn't seem like he would just leave- I mean, he's obviously desperate to see his kids he wouldn't just leave," Billie said reading the letters.

"I bet he doesn't even know that Addison's dead." I realised.

"You think?"

"How would he know? My mom never seemed to of written to him."

"Are you gonna tell him?"

"I don't know him,"

"You could write to him?"

I looked through all the letters. Even the ones I hadn't read quite yet.

"This one isn't from my dad," I said looking at one printed on yellow paper. It wasn't handwritten like the rest, it stuck out majority. How did I not read it first?

"What is it?"

"Last will and testimony." I read from the top.

"A will?"

"It seems like it?" I shrugged as I looked at the back. There was no printing on the back. I flipped it back round and scanned through it.

"Who's will? Addison's?"

"No no, Addison didn't have a will. I know she didn't."

"Who's is it then?"

I diverted my eyes to the bottom of the page to get some sort of answer on whose will this was. And how it ended up in my mother's hand. She clearly put it in this box because she didn't want me to see it. She knows I could never go through Addisons things. It always hurt me too much. But now because I'm leaving, I've finally done it. And looked through, with the help of Billie. I mean... He wasn't helping, he was sat with me, looking through old pics of me and Addison as a child. But him being around was helping. But this clearly was meant for me never to see. Along with the letters from my dad.

"Judy Ives," I finally readout.

"Who's Judy?"

"My grandma. My mom's mom, she died a bit after Addison had. She didn't live far,"

"Well, what does the will say?"

I began to read it again, this time not just scanning through and thoroughly reading it.

"Is there anything there for you?" Billie asked.

I looked for my name. Before finding it.

"To my granddaughter Payton Mary Ives I leave behind my home, my house, my place of happiness for you to live within. To carry on living with in the walls your grandfather had built." I read out.

"What does that mean?"

"I think I have a house...?"