"You heard me!" She shouted.

"But mom! I'm old enough to look after my self. Why would I possibly need a baby sitter!"

"You'll have a baby sitter because I don't trust you!"

"This is stupid!"

"That's it! You're grounded again."

"You can't just keep grounding me randomly!" I shouted at my mom.

"Randomly!? You know exactly why you've been grounded again!"

"No, I do not!"

"Carry on with that attitude!" She warned. I sighed.

"What did I do?" I asked in a normal speaking tone.

"I'm sick of you're attitude towards me, you've been going out so much this week who on earth are you going out with!"

"Just my Friends!"

"You make sure you keep a hoodie on."

"I wouldn't have to if you didn't hit me," I muttered walking away.

"What!?"

"Nothing!" I said quickly running up the stairs. I walked into my room as I dropped on to my bed.

"This is so stupid." I sighed sitting on the end of my bed as I kicked a cup across the floor.

Why do I even try? Why don't I just say: fuck it. Do something completely stupid and say salut to another state? Why don't I just leave this life behind and start a new life somewhere completely different without her?

Because although I could leave behind my mom, and the shitty school, the stupid people in it,

Tap tap. I walked over to the window and opened it. "Billie?"

I couldn't say goodbye to him.

"Payt!" He smiled.

I couldn't leave that smile behind.

"What an earth are you doing here?" I asked him confused.

Because we both went through the same thing.

"You wanna come watch Me, Mike and Tre preform?"

We both went through it together.

"Billie, I can't really watch band practice right about now."

He was and is the only reason I'm still trying to stay here. But I don't know how long I can carry this on until I fuck up again.

"No," he laughed. "It's not band practice. We're performing at Gilman."

"Where?"

"Gilman, we're performing there later. You're gonna be there right?"

"Actually Billie I'm grounded again." I sighed.

He looked up at me for a moment confused. His black eye was still there, but beginning to fade. "You're just saying that."

"I'm not, my mom just grounded me for a week."

"Isn't your mom going tonight for a Business Trip?" He asked me. "We can just sneak you out."

"Actually," I started nervously. "We have a new problem."

"Which is?"

"My moms getting me a baby sitter for tonight."

He cringed. "Fuck."

"I know."

"But why?"

"She doesn't trust me." I shrugged.

"Okay, well..." I watched him looking around thinking. "Can't we just sneak you out while your baby sitter is there?"

"I doubt it."

He nodded. He looked hurt.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said shaking his head he then smiled up to me, his smile seemed forced. "I was just hoping you could make it."

"I know this sucks, I would be there if I could."

"Yeah, I know. This just...."

"Bites?"

"I was gonna say hurts. But yeah. I guess I'll text you later, let me know if you can make it." He said awkwardly putting his hands in his pockets. He looked really upset.

"I will,"

"We're on at nine. I guess I'll see you or I won't."

"Bye," I said waving to him, feeling guilty. He walked away with his head faced down to the floor and his hands in his pockets. I watched him walk away until I shut my window.

He's right. Fuck bites, this hurts.

After a while. Of doing nothing but writing to myself in my little notebook, then it came to the time where my mom was about to leave. I was shouted downstairs and met the baby sitter.

She was only a few years older than me. And she seemed alright. My mom told her strictly I was to stay inside and she said okay. And then my mom left.

I looked over at the baby sitter, and she looked at me. She smiled.

"I'm Sydney by the way." She said.

"I'm guessing my moms already cleared this out for me, but I'm payt." I laughed, she laughed too.

"I know this sucks. Because obviously you can look After yourself, so is there anything, in particular, you wanna do?" She asked me.

I shrugged. "Not really."

There was a bing from her phone, she looked on it and sighed.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said turning off her phone. We went silent, "actually, can I ask you something? I know we don't know each other, but I need to just talk to someone who doesn't really know me."

I nodded quickly. "Yeah, of course, you can. What's up?"

"Okay so," she said as she turned to face me on the sofa. I did the same as she began to rant to me. "So I'm with this boy. And we've been together for... a while. And, I've sort of noticed that he's real close to other girls." She said. She carried on to rant to me basically about how she thinks her boyfriend might be cheating. But every time she brings it up, he flips it around on her and makes her feel guilty for feeling that way.

"That sounds pretty toxic," I said.

"You think?"

"Yeah, I mean. You're allowed to be worried about things, and he's making you feel like you can't."

"Yeah," she sighed. "I guess you're right."

"I mean it sucks. But you should bring it up, and if he flips it around. Just leave him."

"You're so right. Thanks for letting me talk to you about this."

"It's fine," I smiled.

"You got anything you wanna rant about?"

I thought. Maybe I did need to tell someone who I didn't know. Someone other than violet.

"Yeah," I said. "So there's this boy-"

"-what's his name?"

I smiled, "his names Billie. And well, you've seen how strict my mom is. She hates him. I'm not aloud to be around him, because if I get caught doing anything out of line. I'm gonna get sent to another state and put into care." I said to her. She nodded to show me she was listening as I carried on. "And I've been hanging around with him and his friends for a while now. Sometimes they sneak me out, and sometimes I'll meet up with them at his friend's house. Sometimes I'll call him, and one time he stopped the night. But nothing happened we actually slept in separate beds. And he takes me to places like the other day, he took me to this place he's not even showed his friends. And sometimes we hold hands, and he begs me to come places with him like earlier on-"

"-earlier on?"

"Well earlier, he begged me to be there for him at Gilman."

"Gilman? Isn't that where bands play?"

"Yeah, he's in a band. He actually wrote me a song too-"

"-Aww really!" She squealed. "What was it about- was it a love song!?"

"No no!" I laughed. "It was just a song about how strict my life is and things. And he wanted me to be there for him at Gilman when he performed. But I told him I couldn't,"

"Why not? What if he plays your song you've got to be there!" She said quickly grabbing my arm.

"I can't."

"Why?"

"Because it's tonight."

"Oh," she said letting go.

"At nine. And obviously, I can't be there."

She looked down for a second. "Yes, you can." She said looking back up.

"I can't? I'm supposed to be here with you."

"No, no you can," she said getting up off the sofa still looking at me. "Girl this boy clearly likes you! You gotta be there!"

"But how?" I asked also getting up.

"Shit what time is it," she said looking at the clock. "It's half eight. You still have time!"

"I do!?"

"Yes come on!" She said as she grabbed her keys from the window sill where she first placed them. We ran out of the house and jumped into her car. "I'll get you there on time." She said to me starting the car.

"But why are you doing this for me?"

"Because just because my love life's fucked doesn't mean I can sit back and watch someone else's. And this boy sounds like he really cares about you." She explained as we began to drive.

We spoke more getting to know each other more as she drove fast. Maybe she always drove like that or maybe she was really on a mission. But I was terrified I was gonna die.

She parked the car quickly in front of Gilman.

"Go! I'll pick you up here at eleven, okay?"

I grabbed her and hugged her quickly. "Thank you so much!"

"That's okay! Now go! You're boyfriends gonna be on any minute." She said.

I looked at the time on my phone, she's right. It's nearly nine. I quickly thanked her again as I jumped out of the car and rushed into Gilman, there were a lot of people here.

I pushed past drunk and sweaty people looking up at the stage. I pushed myself near around to the Center of the crowd, only stopping when I saw the three of them come on.

Everyone began to cheer as I tried to shout for Billie, but it was no use. I couldn't be heard over everyone around me.

Billie adjusted the microphone stand to his height as he looked over at Mike and Tre. Tre was sat behind his drums, he gave Billie a thumbs up. And Billie nodded as mike nodded to him too with his guitar in his hands.

"Hi everyone!" Billie smiled looking around the crowd. Everyone began to cheer, scream and whistle. "So we're green day. I'm Billie Joe, this is Mike Dirnt on Bass," he said looking over at mike. Who waved to everyone smiling. "And Tre Cool on the drums." Tre waved his two drums sticks in his hands waving to everyone who cheered. "So let's start." Billie laughed.

Everyone cheered as I tried to shout for him again. I must have looked so incredibly stupid, I waved my hands in the air trying to get his attention but it was no use at all.

They started with their first song. As Billie began to sing and everyone else began to cheer while mike and Tre did their thing on their instruments. They played a few songs I had heard them play before. And then that was when I realised they began to play my song.

They began to play she.

The song he had written for me.

I'm she. I'm she!

I cheered loudly as they sang, I couldn't take my eyes off of him. The way the light was in his eyes when he was up there singing, I had seen that light in his eyes before.

And once that song was finished that was the last song of the night.

"Thank you all so much!" He said. Everyone cheered as I shouted for billie again.

"Billie!"

I noticed as Tre locked eyes with me, finally! Someone's seen me!

"We've really enjoyed-"

"-Billie!" Tre whispered cutting Billie off. Billie turned around to him and got closer as Tre leaned over his drums and whispered something into his ears. Billie then moved back forwards as he began to talk again. But his eyes scanning over the crowd, trying to spot someone.

"Anyway, we've really enjoyed playing here tonight and you've all been amazing!" He said. His eyes still searching Over the people. I waved my hand in the air as his eyes finally met mine, I watched as a smile smudged over his face.

That crooked grin, that I just adored.

"Goodnight!" Mike shouted. They all cheered as the three of them went off of the stage. I quickly looked around as I pushed through the crowd. I reached the door that leads into the bands as a man stood there. A security guard.

"Got a pass?" He asked me crossing his arms. His face like stone. No expression. It was quite scary.

"Erm- no- but I know someone back there," I said.

"Sure you do," he said sarcastically.

"I do! The singer- the band that's just been on actually- I know all of them and-"

I was interrupted as the door opened from someone behind it. As it opened and Billie stood there.

"You came!" He shouted as he jumped over and hugged me.

"Of course I did!" I shouted forgetting the security guard was even here as he lifted me up and spun me around happily. I giggled hysterically as someone coughed.

Billie put me down embarrassed as we looked at the security guard.

"She's with me," he said nervously. He nodded as he pulled me through the door and it was shut behind us. He pulled me around a corridor to see Mike and Tre.

"Payday!" Tre shouted running over and hugging me.

"Payt you came!" Mike shouted.

"Of course I did! You all were amazing!" I smiled as I pulled away from Tre's hug and hugged Mike.

After I finished hugging mike I turned to Tre. "Thank god you spotted me!" I laughed. "I was trying to shout for you all over everyone screaming."

"I didn't think you would make it," Billie said. I turned to him and smiled.

"I wouldn't miss it."

"I played your song." He smiled.

"I heard it," I smiled back as I walked closer to him. I placed my hands on his shoulders. "You were amazing."

We stood in silence for a second.

"So are you guys gonna kiss or can we go grab some beers together?" Mike asked. I sighed and rolled my eyes as my hands dropped from Billie's shoulders and turned to Tre. "Sorry."

"Yes Tre, we can go grab some beers," Billie said.

"Thank god!" Mike shouted.

We left Gilman as we headed over to a bar to get some Drinks with Tre's Fake ID.

"So how did you make it?" Billie asked me.

"Well, let's just say my baby sitter is fucking awesome. And I owe her big time." I laughed.

"She drove you're here?"

I nodded.

"How did you convince her?"

"She said to me I had to make it here- and some other stuff but that's not important." I shrugged.

"I'm just glad you made it, I don't know what I would've done if you weren't here tonight."

"Beej you were amazing up there!"

"I felt like a mess,"

"You didn't look like one," I muttered to myself.

"What was that?" I smirked.

"Nothing!"

"I swear I heard you say I didn't look like a mess?"

"No!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!"

"Alright Payton, whatever you say." He smiled. "When you gotta be back?"

"My baby sitter is picking me up around eleven back at Gilman," I told him.

"So we've still got some time?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Awesome! Come with me!" He said as he grabbed my hand and pulled me off my barstool away from the bar as we heard outside. We walked down the street together, in the dark him still holding my hand.

"Why did you do that?" I laughed confused.

"I wanna show you something," he said as he pulled me around the side of the building of the bar.

"What are we doing here?"

"Watch," was all he said as he climbed onto a dumpster. He climbed up some pipes then pulled himself over the roof onto it, as his head poked back up. "Come on!"

I sighed as I began to follow what he had done. He grabbed me up as he pulled me over the wall to the roof.

"Why did you bring me here?"

"I wanna show you something c'mon," he said as he grabbed my hand. We walked over to the back of the building on the roof as he sat on the wall around it. I sat next to him. "Look." He said as he looked in front.

I looked forward to see all the city lights in the view. It was beautiful, the dots of orange and white from street lamps and lights turned on.

"Isn't it cool?" He said leaning over to me.

"It's amazing."

"I thought you'd like it."

"How do you always know what I'll like?" I asked confused.

He shrugged. "Well I mean it makes sense, you like stars, you like storms, you like fireflies, you like rain. It wouldn't only connect if you like city lights."

"This is amazing beej," I smiled to myself taking it in. As I slowly rested my head on his shoulder.

"I'm glad you like it." He said as he rested his head on top of mine.

There's so much beauty in city lights. And he was right. I was a sucker for things that glowed in the dark. Like city lights and signs, stars and the moon. I was in love with the light they gave out and the way they looked when one would squint their eyes.

"What time is it?" I asked him moving my head to look over at him.

"Erm," he turned on his phone and looked at it. "We still have half an hour."

I looked back into the distance as his eyes were still on me.

Billie Joes P.O.V

I looked at her. There's so much beauty when her eyes get lost in the lights.

"I'm just really happy you came to Gilman tonight," I said. She looked back over at me, the street lifts shining through her eyes. "I kept thinking you wouldn't make it."

"I know our situation sucks Billie," she said. "And I think it's obvious we don't have it as easy as other people do. But that doesn't mean that my feelings work differently. I still get bummed when I can't see you, I get excited when I can. The only difference is that sometimes the situations we go through hurt a little bit more."

"You're telling me," I said. "I think it's fucked up that things for us have to be this way."

"They won't be forever Billie."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, when I finally turn eighteen. I can move." She said.

"Oh my god, you can!"

She smiled wide. "I can, but... I mean when I can find somewhere. But it won't be like this forever."

"So what, we just gotta get through this?"

She nodded. "Just got to get through this pain."

"It hurts though," I sighed.

"It hurts me too. Nothing makes me happier, and nothing makes me sadder than thinking about you when I can't see you. It's like thinking about you is some sort of poison I drink to often. But pain is never permanent."