I actually really like how this chapter turned out. It's longer than last weeks chapter so that makes it even better. Also, I'm currently working on another villain deku fic. It'll have him doing more villain activities than this one, but he still doesn't want to be a villain. I'll give your that small bit, but nothing else. Don't tell me to "publish it already" because I don't know when it'll be ready, and if it'll be sooner or later. If you have any constructive criticism, questions, or theories please let me know. This is chapter is going to be the beginning of the downhill landslide of just angst and sadness.

Enjoy~
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Izuku sat down on the ledge in front of a bunch of plants. Shigaraki didn't even need to keep his hand on his neck, the mere presence of the man was enough to make Izuku's body lock and tremble.

Even so, the hand around his nape squeezed with no small amount of force, constricting Izuku's breathing and keeping him from hyperventilating or causing a scene. Izuku kept his eyes on his lap where the notebook sat under his tight locked arms. If the man next to him thought this notebook was important and filled with analysis, he was wrong. It was just a notebook for communication. But he'd never tell Shigaraki that.

"This is nice. Don't you think, Brat?" Shigaraki's grated voice said.

"What do you want?" Izuku whispered. His voice still wasn't as strong as it should be, but it was level and calm, despite his increasing fear.

"Oh so you talk again? That's cool. I was wondering when you speak up again," The man purred in his ear and sent a chill down his spine. Shigaraki sat back, hand still on his neck, and hummed. "Right now, the hero killer pisses me off the most. More than you actually, which is surprising because I really missed my toy. And that's what my problem is. It's like suddenly everyone is obsessed with that stupid hero killer. You're our analyst; what do you think the difference is between us, Brat?"

So he wanted him to answer his questions, huh?

Izuku took as deep as a breath as he could, sans focused on the threatening hand that could kill him at any moment. "Despite having known you for so many years, I don't understand you. You or your goals. And besides, I've never agreed with anything you do."

The hand tightened just a fraction but Shigaraki didn't stop him. "The hero killer and I have something in common. We're inspired by All Might and the good heroes around us. He a maniac, but he doesn't destroy stuff just because it sounds fun. Even if the way he acted was wrong, he held true to his beliefs. That's the difference." Izuku didn't know it was possible, but he probably tensed more with the amount of strength Shigaraki was putting into closing off his air pipe.

Izuku had just spoken more then than he had done for the past few days in speech therapy. Maybe if he made it out of this alive Recovery Girl would go easy on him and not make him sing those notes on the scale?

It was getting harder to breathe. Maybe he was going to die here? Would that really be too bad? Izuku wasn't really sure. He was honestly terrified at the moment. He could practically hear the horrific smile on Shigaraki's face. "It's him. The problem is All Might. Oh I'm so glad we had this chat. I feel better. I can't thank you enough, Pet."

Izuku decided.

He didn't want to die.

His hands reached up, pulling on Shigaraki's with the strength he didn't have. He was suffocating.

He didn't want to die.

He didn't want to die.

He didn't want to die.

He didn't want to die!

"Oh? Don't struggle now! Unless you want to die," Shigaraki's voice cut through the ringing in his ears. Tears pricked the corner of his closed eyes and his jaw locked shut.

Someone save me!

"Uhh, Midoriya?" His eyes snapped open to see Ururaka standing in front of him, brows furrowed in confusion as she held a plastic bag at her side. Primal fear shot through his core. She looked between the two of them and blinked. "Is that a friend? No, that can't be right."

Shigaraki was looking at her now.

"Hey wait. Let go of him," Her voice shook. She moved to take a step forward.

Adrenaline rushing, he said as loud as he could with panic still caught in his voice. "No! Don't come closer!" Ururaka looked even more terrified.

For a moment it felt like Shigaraki was going to kill him anyway, and kill her just to get at him. That he'd go on a rampage until someone finally called the heroes to take care of him. That none of them would make it out of this alive.

Then the hand was gone.

Shigaraki flew his arms up in a placating manner, and smiled. Izuku gently held his neck, coughing and hacking up a lung. His chest and stomach ached and his throat felt gravely. Again. Just great.

"Oh! You're here with a friend. I didn't know. Sorry about that," Shigaraki said chipper and then turned his voice cold. "I'd be careful if I were you, Brat. Watch your back."

Shigaraki stood up, placing his hands in his pocket, and turned his back on them, walking away. Once far enough, Ururaka ran the rest of the small distance towards him, and started checking on him. Izuku kept his gaze on his lap, the notebook now had dents from how tightly he was holding it.

"Midoriya-kun are you alright? Midoriya-kun!" She had her hand on his shoulder. The world was getting farther away and the only thing he could feel was the hand on his shoulder, gently shaking him.

His breathing picked up to borderline hyperventilation. Everything was so far away. Everything hurt. Every cut, bruise, scrape, incision, and injury. His skin felt like it was on fire. Izuku could almost feel the hot breath on his neck.

Glass under his feet.

Scalpels against his skin.

Needles in his veins.

Hands grasping his hair.

There was cotton in his ears, and he couldn't hear anything. Uraraka's voice was miles away by now.

Where was he again? It was so dark. Was he back in his room? It felt like that. Back in rags and dirty bandages. He was so afraid. Hot tears escaped his eyes finally and he rocked back and forth, hands clasping around his ears.

Why did the gods hate him?

Stay quiet.

Don't be too loud.

They'll come back if they hear you.

It hurts.

It hurts.

It hurts.

"Midoriya!" Something heavy landed on each of his shoulders, grounding him. The voice was firm but gentle. A hint of concern. He tried to focus on it.

"Midoriya, can you hear me?" The voice asked. He gave a small nod. "Okay. Focus on my voice, alright? Everything will be okay. Do you remember where you are? You're at the mall, remember? With our classmates. You're okay. Just keep breathing. In and out. Deep breathes. Follow my lead, alright? Eyes on me, Midoriya. Eyes on me."

Izuku copied the loud breathing of the voice speaking to him. In and out. In and out. Over and over.

After what felt like a millennia, his vision came back to him, and the darkness receded. His eyes fell on Iida's, who had both hands on his shoulders as he kneeled down to Izuku's eye level.

It still felt as though there was a lump in his lungs, but as the minutes passed by, him copying his breathing, it became more and more bearable.

The boy's face was painted with concern and relief that he was calming down a little. Izuku kept breathing. The panic was slowly loosening it's tight hold on his body, and the murky waters that threatened to drown him in his anxiety was gone too.

"Better?" Iida asked. Izuku nodded, even though he still felt like shit, and then hesitantly looked around him. The whole class was there, sans Bakugo and Todoroki who hadn't come with them. They all looked at him with the same expression as Iida, but they stood a ways off, as not to crowd him. He was grateful for that.

As his panic lessened, the more exhausted he felt.

Ururaka held her phone to her ear and was talking to the person on the other line. He didn't get the chance to get her attention to ask who when Iida spoke again. "Midoriya-kun, what happened?"

Snapped back to attention, he looked back to Iida who had yet to take his hands off his shoulders.

He looked down and saw his notebook still in his lap. Opening it to a fresh page, and pulling out a pencil, he wrote one word.

Shigaraki

Iida's face was grim with understanding. "We should call the police."

"Already on it," Ururaka spoke up. Oh. So that's who was on the phone with her. Looking at her closely, he saw the plastic bag that she had been carrying earlier at her feet. She bought something? Looking at the rest, they also had bags of stuff at their feet.

He kinda felt disappointed. He didn't get to buy anything with the money Aizawa had given him.

Shame.

Izuku wanted to go home and sleep.

An hour later he sat in an interview room with the detective that had asked him questions at the hospital. He was really nice. Izuku thinks his name is Tsukauchi, but he really can't be sure. He felt loopy.

The detective asked him a myriad of questions about the events that had happened. Izuku had tried writing them down but the detective stopped him and said, "If you still can't talk you can use JSL. Eraser told me that you're learning." In truth he didn't know if he could do either. His hands were still slightly shaking from his episode earlier.

Tsukauchi asked him questions like "Where did the incident occur?" "Why were you at the mall that day?" "Did Shigaraki say what he wanted from you?" and more.

He answered them the best he could. Tsukauchi said it was fine, but he felt like he should be doing more.

After the interview, that lasted about two hours from Izuku's estimation, he was led outside by Tsukauchi and this officer with a cat head. Izuku's hand itched to write about it, but at the same time he was terrified of reaching for his notebook.

"Izuku!" His head whipped up at the sound of Aizawa's voice. The man was running towards him with Yamada at his heels. Under protective rage was concern that only people who spent enough time with the man would know how to decipher. Yamada didn't bother hiding his fear, though, and hugged him the moment he was close enough.

Izuku tried not to flinch too much. The whole "positive human contact" thing was new and unfamiliar. He let himself stand there until hesitantly wrapping his arms around him.

"We were so worried about you, listener!" Yamada said. He could hear Aizawa thanking Tsukauchi for watching over him from behind.

"It's no worries, Eraser. He's a good kid. Just take care of him, yeah? He always seems to slip through," He said the last part in a whisper. Guilt snuck into his heart. It was his fault he was kidnapped in the first place, wasn't it? And he probably would've gotten kidnapped again if it weren't for Ururaka.

He was such an idiot.