A/N: Soooo hop on board the Angst train for this chapter. Choo Choo. XD I promise next chapter will be worth all the misery I put you through in this one. POV switches a couple times so look out for that! 

𝓙𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓭𝓸𝓷'𝓽 𝓵𝓮𝓽 𝓶𝓮 𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓪𝓻, 𝓘𝓶𝓶𝓪 𝓽𝓮𝓵𝓵 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻𝔂𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰...

Killian

I looked down at my watch and sighed. Blaire should have been here by now. I heard muffled voices just outside my classroom door and raised an eyebrow. I stood and strode over to the door and pulled it open to see Blaire, and her uncle, Storybrooke's Sheriff, David Nolan standing there.
"Oh, I'm sorry Killian did we disturb you?" David asked.
"No.. No, its just Miss Nolan asked to see me during lunch about an assignment, I heard her voice and figured maybe she thought the door was locked." I said and looked at Blaire. Her gray blue eyes were distant.
"Well, we've had a family emergency and I'm here to take Blaire from school for the rest of the day..if you could give her assignments to Emma that would be great." David said.
I nodded.
"I certainly hope everything is alright." I said and tilted my head at Blaire. Her usual fair skin was almost transparent, and she looked half alive. I wondered what kind of family emergency concerned Blaire, but not Emma.
"Miss Nolan are you alright?" I asked. Blaire turned her zombie like eyes on me and nodded.
"Fine." She said. "I'm..fine."
It wasn't very convincing, but something suggested that, that would be the only answer I got from her. At least for now.
"Are you ready Blaire?" David asked.
Blaire turned to David.
"Huh? Oh.. Yeah." She said and turned and started walking as if she was in some sort of trance.
"She.. is alright..right?" I asked David. David gave me a sad smile.
"I don't know to be honest, I think she will be... I have to go, but thank you for your concern I'm sure it means a lot to her that someone cares so much."
I nodded. Of course, I knew Blaire well enough to know she likely didn't give a damn what I thought.
"Of course. I'll see that Emma gets her assignments, though I'm not sure she'll need them considering she's moving back to Oregon?"
"That..may not be a thing anymore." David sighed. "I don't know what you know about her situation."
I put my hand up to stop him.
"I don't think she'd be comfortable with you discussing whatever is going on with me. She's very private about her situation and I respect that." I said and watched as Blaire walked out of the school.
"You..should go. She didn't look well." I said.
David nodded and looked over his shoulder and sighed.
"Blaire, Wait!" He said and hurried after her.
I frowned and put my hands in my pockets, What on Earth was going on?

Blaire

The second I stepped outside and the cool breeze hit me in the face, I looked around. I didn't even remember walking outside. I looked behind me and saw David hurrying towards the doors and it all came back to me.
"Blaire your mothers body was found this morning."
My stomach twisted and I leaned against the railing to hold on as a sudden dizzy spell hit me.
"Easy.." David said and held my arm keeping me from falling as my legs went out from under me.
"I..I'm fine." I stammered and shook it off pushing him away. "Can..I just walk to the house?" I asked.
"Blaire.. You can barely stand." David said.
"I..just need the air. Please.." I said.
David sighed and nodded. "Okay. I'll follow behind you in the car..only because I'm worried you'll fall."

As I walked towards the house, my brain just couldn't come to terms with what David had said. Surely it wasn't my mother, it just kind of felt like time had slowed down and nothing was real. Maybe I got hit by a car on my walk to school this morning, and this was some sort of hell whatever it was just didn't feel real.

When I got to the house after what felt like eternity, I sat down on the front steps. David, pulled into the driveway and got out of the car and walked over to me.
"Why don't you come inside? We can talk."
"I'm not really..feeling chatty Dave." I said. "I just want to sit out here."
David nodded and sighed.
"Okay." He said. "I understand." I really didn't think he did. He walked up the steps and closed the door and the second the door shut, tears pricked at my eyes.
Don't you fucking cry..
I looked down at my phone at the bunch of text messages from Kass

Kass:
B...I'm so sorry..call me okay?

Hey.. I realize you probably don't want to talk.. Even to me just let me know if you are okay.

I sent her back a quick message
"I'm fine."

And then I shut off my phone, I didn't want to see the text messages or the phone calls, or anything. I was perfectly happy living in this thought that everything was just a really fucked up dream.

By the time Emma got home, I was still sitting on the porch. She gave me a pitiful look before she walked up the steps and inside and nothing else had changed until I looked up again and the sun was setting and Mary-Margarets car was pulling into the driveway. She walked up and sat down beside me.
"David says you've been out here for hours." She said.
"I hadn't noticed really.." I mumbled.
"Why don't you come inside? Its getting chilly..that cold weather you wished for is finally coming." She smiled.
I shook my head.
"Are you sure?" She asked.
"Yeah." I said.
"Okay..We'll come check on you in a bit." She said and stood up and I felt her hesitate before she walked in.

It was a while later before I felt someone sit beside me. I glanced at David before I turned my attention to the same spot of grass I'd been staring at all evening.
"I didn't figure you'd be hungry enough for dinner...but I made you a pb&J..per your fathers suggestion." He said. I looked down at the peanut butter and strawberry jelly sandwich on a plate and my eyes teared up. Most people preferred grape, but I liked strawberry better and only my dad seemed to remember that."

"I understand if you can't really stomach it but i'd feel better if you at least tried to eat something."
"Thank you.." I said and took the sandwich and tore a piece off and put it in my mouth. "You talked to my dad?" I asked.
"I did. He said he was trying to call you all afternoon and figured you must have had your phone off...you see with Emma, its easy. I know how to make her feel better, its usually hot chocolate with cinnamon and talking. With you..I'm not sure."
"This is a good start." I said with a mouthful of peanut butter and jelly. David chuckled.
"Good..Your dad said that might help, he said he wishes it was him to bring it to you. He also said to just give you room to breathe which.. I feel like we have for several hours now."
I nodded.

"Do you feel like you may be ready to come inside now?" David asked.
"Maybe.." I said. "I need to finish packing for my flight tomorrow. You're still taking me to the airport right?"
David swallowed thickly and nodded.
"I am...but I'm actually going with you." He said.
"Why?" I asked.
"Well, I just want to make sure you're okay before I leave you in Oregon." David said but I could tell there was more to it than that and I just didn't have the energy to ask. I was exhausted. I finished off the pb&j and leaned against the railing on the porch.
"I don't want to move." I said quietly. "Can we just sit here for a bit more?" I asked.
"We? You want me to stay?" David asked.
"Please." I said.
"Of course" David said.

My eyes felt heavy and it was a struggle at this point to keep them open. I couldn't remember the last time I felt this wiped out, I just didn't have strength at all, every bit of my being felt like it was being sucked out. I leaned against David.
 "Come on, lets get you inside." David said softly.and gently pulled me up with him as he stood. I slumped against him feeling totally zapped.
"I got you. Its okay." He said and let me lean on him as he helped my exhausted self into the house. He brought me to the couch and helped me to get comfortable before pulling the shoes from my feet and setting them beside the couch. He pulled the fleece throw blanket down from the back of the couch and draped it over my shivering form before taking his place in the recliner in the room where he remained most of the night in case I needed him, and he would probably never realize how much that actually meant to me.

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"You nervous?" David asked as we stepped into the airport in Oregon the next evening.
I shook my head and of course my face likely gave it away that I was indeed nervous as I looked around the airport for my Dad.
"He might just be a little late. Are you hungry?" David asked.
"If I eat right now I'll puke." I muttered and then I set my eyes on a man in a black leather jacket at a table with a few Starbucks drinks. He turned and looked at me and my heart jumped into my throat. I dropped my bags and started sprinting.

"Daddy!" I all but shrieked. Dad barely had time to stand up before I threw myself at him. I was lifted from the floor into the biggest bear hug that I desperately needed.
"Hey sweetheart." He said with his voice cracking. He set me down and cleared his throat and handed me a starbucks cup.
"Coffee? James its 9pm." David sighed.
"Relax its hot chocolate Dave." Dad rolled his eyes. There was an odd tension between the two of them.
"I've been a parent just as long as you have. I think I can handle it." Dad grumbled.

"Guys.. lets not right now." I sighed and sipped at my hot chocolate. "Ooo peppermint."
"Don't tell Kass, I don't want to hear her whine about how we got Starbucks with out her." Dad smirked. Dad took Kass and I to starbucks weekly before all this crazy shit happened, and when he wasn't available, her dad took us.
"How long you staying Dave?" Dad asked.
"As long as I need too." David shrugged and the two of them shared a knowing look before Dad swallowed hard and chuckled nervously.
"Well.. theres room in the apartment for you."
"We can actually go back there?" I asked.
"Yep, its been cleared for us to go back." Dad smiled and ruffled my hair. "Your room is all ready for you."
"Dad." I grumbled and flattened my hair.

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When we got to the apartment. David looked around the area and I could feel him cringe. It wasn't exactly the pretty little neighborhood back in Storybrooke, but to me this broken down 2 bedroom apartment was home and I was thrilled to be back.
"You still have that old truck?" David asked eyeing the old black and gray Ford F150 in the parking garage.
"Don't call her old. It's not nice." I said and pat the hood of the truck. "He didn't mean it."
"It's Blaires now..as you can tell." Dad chuckled. "Last summer she helped me fix it up, so I gave it to her."
"Helped?" Blaire snorted.
"Okay, so she did most of it, with supervision of course." Dad winked. We walked up the stairs to our apartment and Dad unlocked the door and pushed it open. I walked inside and looked around. I expected the mess that was left after the police tore the place apart but..it was cleaned up.
"Why don't you go check out your room? I picked it up for you." Dad smiled. I hurried across the floor to my bedroom excited to be back in it. The second I opened the door I let out a high pitched screech that had David nearly flying across the living room to find the cause of my screams to be the curly headed blonde who embraced me in a hug.
"Kass!" I beamed.
"Welcome back B!" She grinned.
David sighed in relief.
"Let em catch up Dave." Dad said and led him away from the door.

Kass and I binged netflix for hours, and chatted like we used to. It was a nice distraction, but after a while..she passed out with a bowl of popcorn in her lap and I was left to my thoughts. Sure..it felt right being back, but by this time, my mom would have called me on her lunch break just to tell me goodnight and..when I realized that, that was something I'd never hear again, it hit me in the chest like a ton of bricks. I opened my door just a crack to look out and saw David pacing in the kitchen in the middle of a quiet argument with my dad I crept out of the room and sat down against the wall just outside of the kitchen.

"Give me a fucking break Dave." Dad hissed. "You spend barely a month with her and you think you can tell me what she needs?"
"What she needs James is to be as far away from whatever mess you've made this time before she gets caught under it when it collapses. You know that."
"I do know that David but you listen to her cry on the phone about wanting to come home and tell me you won't do anything to make it happen! What if it were Emma?"
"It would never be Emma in this situation." David said.
"Because you're just so fucking perfect." Dad scoffed.
"No, I'm not. But at least I try!" David spat. "This is still an active investigation James. She has no business being here!"
"Her mother was just found dead David!"

I put my hands over my ears and winced somehow even though they were whispering it felt really loud.
"I know and you haven't even discussed what happens next with your daughter James. She's clearly in denial and she needs closure. And all you are doing is distracting her from the very hard reality she's about to face in the next few days when that funeral happens. But thats always been your thing, pretend it didn't happen and run away." David said.

"I don't know what kind of closure you want her to have David! She can't even see her mother one more time because I'd rather the last image she have of her mother be the fight they had the morning before she disappeared rather than the bullet hole in her head. I had to see it when identifying the body. Her mother was murdered. Violently, So yes I will distract her because if I can spare her from just how fucked up this world is, I will!"

My stomach twisted and I knew there would be no stopping it. I got up and ran into the kitchen leaning over the sink and letting out every bit of junk food I'd just ate with Kass. I couldn't even stop the tears, or the panicked sobs. The last conversation I had with my mother was not a pleasant one, the last thing I said to her was if she was so unhappy she should just leave and there was no, I'm sorrys over ice cream and true crime documentaries. There never would be. Dad held my hair back as the last bit of my stomach contents came up and I leaned against the sink panting and sobbing. Dad turned the water to the sink on. David walked over to help.
"I got this Dave.." Dad grumbled. "Just make some tea or something. I think theres some in the cupboard. I don't know if its good."

"Come on sweetheart." Dad said and led me to the living room and sat on the couch with me. I curled up into his side chewing anxiously at my fingernails.
"You weren't meant to hear any of that Blaire. And I'm so sorry that you did. I didn't want you to know how she died."
"Why would someone..I just..why?" I sobbed into his shirt. He ran his hand through my hair and kissed the top of my head.
"Shh.." He said softly.

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The distraction had completely faded away by the day of the funeral, if you could even call it that. My mothers body was still being examined so there was no one to bury, no ashes to scatter, they wouldn't even just let me have my mother back just for this. The excitement I felt, being back home felt years in the past today everything was just clouded with misery.

I looked at myself in the mirror as Kass ran a brush through my hair. I didn't even recognize myself.
"You ready B?" She asked sadly.
"Yeah.." I nodded. "Yeah I think so." I stood, and we walked in o the living room where, My dad, David, and Kass' dad, Sean stood, this was the first time I'd seen Sean since I'd been back. He'd been busy with my moms case and distanced himself from me, which I totally understood.
"Hi, Mr. Cole." I said quietly. Sean opened his arms and I teared up and hugged him.
"I'm really sorry Blaire." He said. I didn't know what to say, it wasn't okay, so I just stayed quiet. I looked at David, who was not used to all this hugging business from me. He gave me a smile and a nod.

The service, was not at all what my mother would have wanted. Mom would have wanted people to be laughing, and drinking. That was just her style, not this dreary and cold rainy sobfest bullshit that was taking place. Co workers, that she constantly bitched about were speaking about her, telling about all the good times they had. My mother hated them. Most insufferable was her boss that made her work on my birthday every year no matter how early she asked off for it, was talking about how committed she was to her job and I really just wanted to punch him in the throat. I felt my dads hand clasp over my clenched fist.

"Breathe kid." He whispered.
"She would have hated this.." I mumbled.
"I know." Dad sighed. "Blaire.. I'm really sorry about all of this..I wish there was a way to rewind the clock."
"Me too." I said. "I wouldn't have said what I did."
"She knew you didn't mean it." Dad said and squeezed my hand. I looked up at him
"How did yo-"
"Blaire.. Sweetheart. I love you, and no matter what you hear.. Please don't forget that."
"Dad what do you mean?" I asked and followed his gaze to the group of police officers making their way over.
"Dad?" I choked out.
"What the hell is this?" Sean asked one of the officers "You were told to wait until after the service."
"We got other directions Cole."
"Dad what is going on?" Kass asked.
"Kassi just..stay back with Blaire." Sean said and turned back to the officers. "I am begging you. Not in front of his kid..not again." Sean pleased.
"We can't wait." The officer sighed and walked up behind my dad who didn't appear to fight.. Its like he knew this was going to happen.
"James Nolan, you're under arrest for the murder of Jaquelin Nolan." He said and started putting handcuffs on my dad.

"Wait.. no. He..didn't do it!" I said.
"Blaire sweetheart just let them take him." Sean said.
"Listen to Sean honey it's going to be okay." Dad smiled at me.
"No!" I yelled and threw myself at him wrapping my arms around him. "You can't take him!" I sobbed.
"Get her off of him." The officer instructed. Another officer put his arms around my waist.
"Get your fucking hands off her!" Dad snapped.
"Hey! Hey!" David jumped in and pushed the officer away from me. "I will do it." He snapped and pulled me off of my dad.
"Stop!" I screamed and lunged at the officer arresting him both David and Sean had to jump in to hold me back as they took my dad away..again.

"This was way out of line!" Sean shouted at the officers as they hauled my dad off. David held onto my securely as I fought to break away.
"Let me go!" I sobbed and hit his arms with my fists.
"Blaire I'm sorry I can't." David said. I felt lights in my face and I looked around at all the press recording me for the entire world to see. There would be no hiding Blaire Nolan's fucked up secrets now everything was out in the open.

Killian

Milah and I sat in the living room with take out from Mulan's watching one of her God awful shows I only pretended to have the slightest interest in when a breaking news report came across the tv. Storybrooke was kind of a quiet place, at least it was as long as I'd lived here and the last bad thing to happen was some fire on the other side of town so I couldn't imagine what would be going on.

"Oregon.. What does Oregon have to do with us?" Milah snorted. "Change the channel.."
"Hang on.." I mumbled as I watched.
"Hours ago, in Portland, Oregon, Oregon Police made the arrest on James Nolan, who was earlier last month accused of having something to do with his wife's disappearance. Now he is being arrested for her brutal murder. Jaquelin Nolan was found just days ago in a shallow grave, having been shot to death. The arrest was made, tragically at his wifes memorial service, where his daughter who had been moved out of state for safety reasons was attending."
I dropped my take out box of orange chicken on the floor as I watched the video footage of Blaire Nolan sobbing hysterically as she was being pulled off of her father while he was being arrested.
"Killian!" Milah sighed.
"Its fine, Captains eating it." I said and stood up. "I..have to make a phone call."
"We are in the middle of something!" Milah scoffed.
"Its bloody important Milah!" I said and tossed her the remote and hurried up the stairs and to the second floor balcony. I locked the door behind me and looked through my facebook messages until I found the one, I still hadn't deleted between Blaire and I and pressed the call button. For whatever reason I had to know she was okay.

Blaire

I sat with my knees pulled up to my chest on a bed in a hotel room. Police had closed off our apartment again and this time all of my stuff was there. David and Sean were trying to get at least some of my clothes, and belongings so Kassidy stayed in the room with me. My phone vibrated on the nightstand and Kassidy picked it up and looked at it.
"Who on earth is Killian Jones and can I have his number?" She grinned and you could practically see the hearts in her eyes as she looked down at the picture on the phone.
"Just ignore it..I don't want to talk to anyone from Storybrooke." I said and looked away. Kassidy frowned and declined the call.
"I guess this means you're going back.." She sighed.
I nodded.
"David isn't going to let me stay here.." I mumbled. "Did you know that was going to happen?" I asked.
"No.. my dad doesn't tell me about this stuff. He isn't allowed to. You know that B." Kassidy said.
"Yeah.." I sighed.

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David had only been able to get a few of my things from the apartment, mostly some clothes, and my laptop and that was about it. I had considerably less than I had last time I boarded this stupid plane to Storybrooke.
"Whatever we couldn't get, I'll replace when we get home. Okay?" David asked as we found our seats.
I just nodded and put my headphones on.

When we made it back to the airport just outside of Storybrooke, and outside I was blinded by flashing cameras and lights. One particular reporter, got in my face asking me question after question about my father not even giving me time to answer, not that I wanted to in the first place. I didn't realize how much something that happened with my dad in Oregon would effect things here.

"Please stop.." I said and tried to shield my face.
"Do you think your mothers murder is in connection with the arson 16 years ago at O'Malleys?" The reporter asked.
"Stop.. Just.. leave me alone!" I said and tried to push past them
"Can you tell me anything for tomorrows story in the daily mirror?!" The reporter pressed on.
David took off his jacket and put it over me, guiding me away from the cameras.
"Its okay Blaire just ignore them." He said.
"One can't help but think that the silence.. Means you know your father is guilty." The reporter said.

"Stay here." David said and I kept his Jacket over me but turned and watched him walk towards the reporter.
"You want something for your story Sidney?" He asked before he reared back and clocked the reporter so hard in the face he fell backwards. "Report that." He muttered and walked back to me putting his arm around my shoulders leading me back to the car.
"Well..that will be an interesting story for the daily mirror. Do good Storybrooke Sheriff knocks out ignorant reporter.." I said and got in the car.
"I'm only a do good kind of guy until you mess with my family then all bets are off." David smiled. I looked out the window watching the press take pictures of the car. I sighed heavily and sat back and turned my eyes back to the road as we passed the Welcome To Storybrooke sign.
Home sweet Hell.. I thought.