"You really like the taste of your own foot, don't you?" Jake said.

"What?" Tanner replied, looking at his brother. Jake was leaning back on the uncomfortable waiting room chairs, one arm flopped out. "What do you mean?"

"Stuck your whole boot in your pie hole," Jake said, obviously amused. Tanner glared at him, which did nothing. Jake chuckled. "You know as well as I that Liana won't leave, not until she knows Caitlin will be okay."

"Liana isn't my problem right now. Brady is," Tanner replied and got up, leaning on the windowsill. "I don't want a ton of people all milling around."

"She's not a 'ton of people'," Jake said. "She's one woman who, from the looks of it, was just as worried about you a moment ago."

Tanner stiffened, flexing his hand as it shook slightly. Right. That. He'd almost lost it, her arms around him, lips brushing against his skin. He was still mixed up about her, and it wasn't what he wanted to think about, even though she had calmed the shaking he'd not been able to stop, holding him like that. Without her here, it had started again.

He didn't answer Jake, just looked out the window. It was facing the parking lot and he spied Keith and Peony. She had her hand threaded through his arm, and they were walking as quickly as they could.

"Keith's here. He brought Peony, even though I told her to stay home," Tanner said. "I'll pop down to the main entrance and meet them."

"Like she'd listen. I'll stay put. Get a coffee or something," Jake replied, and leaned back, closing his eyes. "Once we hear what's what, I'll figure out how to get home. My wife can come get me."

Tanner stopped at the door and looked at his brother stretched out on the chair. "Fine. You can wait and I can take you as well."

Jake chuckled and waved him off. "Hear you, loud and clear, little brother. Now go away."

Tanner paced out towards the main entrance, swinging his coat on as he went. Wavy honey highlighted hair turned the corner ahead of him as he made his way down.

Dammit. He should catch up to her and apologize. Jake was right. Caitlin was her friend, they'd been through a lot together and he had no business telling her to go. He strode to catch her, but she was too fast for him and when he reached the lobby, she was already hugging Peony.

"How is he? Can we see him?" Keith rapid-fired as Tanner reached them.

"Jake is up in the emergency family waiting room. We haven't seen him yet, Caitlin is with Brady," Tanner replied. "He's okay, but banged up. Concussion."

"Damn. The truck was towed into the yard before we left. The entire passenger's side is scraped to hell. What happened?"

Tanner caught Liana's eye as she joined them with Peony and debated how much he wanted to tell them. He didn't want to worry anyone, least of all Keith. He didn't know much, and was hopeful they could figure it out. A drunk driver was one thing, but there was something bugging him about how Brady had described it.

"He doesn't know. Told me someone drove up beside him and shoved him off the road," he said.

Shock registered on both Keith and Peony's faces. Peony cleared her throat. "How is Caitlin, my dear?" she asked Liana, changing the subject.

"She's taking charge. Likely harassing staff and getting signing authority on his meds chart as we speak," Liana said. "Otherwise I think she's both worried and scared as hell because here we go again. Another man she loves with a head injury."

"Well, considering she's pregnant, we should ensure she's careful," Peony added. Keith turned his head at that statement.

"What? She's—" he spluttered.

"No one was supposed to know yet, we just found out today," Tanner interjected, and rubbed his forehead. "How did you know?"

Peony smiled. " She didn't have wine at dinner two nights ago, and she didn't put any of that irish cream in her coffee when she went in to see you, now did she, Liana?"

Liana shook her head ruefully. Tanner groaned. "So you just assumed?"

"There's other ways to tell too, not that you boys would know what to look for. I've been around long enough. Has she told you, Liana?"

"Nope. Hasn't said a thing. Brady said she didn't want to tell anyone yet."

Tanner gestured back behind him. "Why don't you and Peony go up to the waiting room. See Jake, and maybe he'll have an update. Jake knows too, so it's now officially the worst kept secret in our family."

"Caitlin doesn't know that we know," Keith said slowly, puzzled. "So we pretend we, uhh, don't know?"

"Exactly," Liana replied.

Keith barked a laugh and threw up his hands. "Well alright then. Let's go, I want to see my son."

Peony scrutinized Tanner, and he immediately moved to hug her, sensing her unease with the situation. "Go get a coffee, young man. You look wrung out," she murmured in his ear before letting him go.

Tanner glanced at Liana who was fussing with her coat. "Still want that coffee?" he asked. She nodded, not meeting his eye.

Tanner jingled his keys in his pockets, fidgeting in the awkward silence that followed their departure. "Listen, about before—" he started and she stepped up to him, poking him in the chest.

"Stop. I know you're trying to figure everything out and be a big, tough dude. We all love Brady, and we're all here for him, and Caitlin. Get used to it."

"Okay."

She stopped in mid-poke, expecting him to argue, he guessed. With a sigh that came from her toes, she turned and walked away.

"You coming?" she asked, and he strode forward to catch up to her. 

The cafeteria was almost empty when they stepped inside. The green tiled floor was worn where everyone lined up for lunch, the scent of dinner prep wafting in the air. Tanner strode straight for the coffee station, and poured a cup. It smelled like engine oil might be thinner, but he needed the jolt. Liana shouldered in beside him, and she too filled a cup.

She was poking about on her side of the station for something and he automatically handed her the little creamer cups from beside the machine, sitting in a chipped melamine holder. Another memory surfaced of her chugging black coffee at the local rodeo, from a thermos stuffed into the back of the truck, and gagging. She had spat that coffee at least ten feet, and everyone had hooted with laughter when she got mad, thinking there had been creamer in it.

She took them, and handed him a lid at the same time. Then, she opened each little cup one by one to pour them in. It was oddly familiar to watch her fuss. He walked over and paid for both cups as she finished doctoring hers.

"Where do you want to go?" she asked.

Tanner observed her, cup in her hand, bag and coat over her arm. Her freckles stood out in the harsh fluorescent light, hair flying everywhere that he wanted to tuck back behind her ears. Alone with her was a bad idea.

"Back up? We may be able to see him soon," he replied.

"Not yet. There's a little garden over by the new cancer centre. It's not frigid out. Fresh air might help," she said, and shrugged on her coat, and Tanner plucked her coffee cup out of her hands as she did. Her hand brushed his as she took it back, and he caught her small intake of breath.

He was still making her uncomfortable. That bugged him more than it should have.

He put his coat on as well and out they went, walking around the building towards the small courtyard with some burlap-wrapped hedges and a spiky, leafless tree. aCigarette butts littered the ground at the corner near some benches. Liana spied one that was clean and dry, and she strode towards it and sat with a weary sigh. Watching her for a moment, Tanner took in the way she lifted her head to take in the tall building beside them, the plume of air floating up from her as she breathed, the steam wafting from her coffee.

It struck him how frigging beautiful she looked at that moment, and here he was, alone with her when he'd just told himself it was a bad idea. He should be inside, ready to see his brother.

But the draw of her patting the bench beside her and tilting her head as he hesitated shook him back to the reason he was out here. He was a grown-ass man, and could keep his shit together. She was right. Waiting and stewing would do him no good. There were folks aplenty upstairs to see him if he was rolled into a room.

So he focused on the sounds of the hospital surrounding them. Sirens, cars passing on the wet street, people talking all slid by them as they drank coffee in silence. He leaned back, and stretched his arm along the back of the bench, propping a foot on the opposite knee.

"Why do you guys always sit like that?" Liana asked, leaning back, the hood of her coat brushing his hand.

"Like what?"

"Wide legged with one boot propped. Like, rancher manspreading bullshit. Brady sits like that too," she replied, and tried to mimic him. "It hurts my damned hips!"

Watching her struggle to put her foot on her knee, and gave up in a huff when he failed to keep in a laugh. "Laugh it up, tough guy. Cowboy yoga, that's what that is."

"Yoga," he replied. "What goes on in that head of yours? I have never done yoga in my life."

She pursed her lips and then let out one of her big laughs. She elbowed him and they smiled at one another. His heart skipped a beat because there was the Liana he remembered. Funny, smiling, laughing. Shining like the brightest star in the sky, right beside him. She shifted again and their thighs touched.

"Sorry," she said and went to slide away, and his arm came down around her. He didn't want her to move. She was warm, and the impulse to have her close won over his indecision on how to handle how he was feeling around her.

She looked at him, and he turned to meet her eyes. "S'ok," he murmured.

She leaned back against his arm. The fur on the edge of her hood tickled his hand, and his fingers combed through it absently, the softness soothing.

"So I imagine you got pretty scared when you found the truck," Liana said quietly, picking at the rim of her paper cup.

How did he answer that? He cleared his throat and willed the image of Brady with blood all over his face out of his head. Scared? He'd been fucking terrified. He'd never had fear hit like that before. Not even when they found Dad. The thought of losing Brady kicked him in the gut again, the way it did when he'd looked in the window. He shifted, his legs restless with the thought.

"A little," he replied. His pulse roared up into his ears, drowning out the noises around them.

He set his empty cup beside him on the bench and removed his arm from around Liana, separating himself from her to hide how her question had affected him. Liana's hand touched his leg the moment he did, pressing down. It was bouncing up and down, and he didn't even realize it.

"It's okay to be scared. You've been on and off shaking since I got here, Tan. Talk to me," she said, wrapping her fingers through his. He looked down at their joined hands, her perfect, pink fingernails glowing against his weathered skin. Her voice sounded far off, like she was on the other side of a wall and he blinked to focus on her.

"Okay, yeah, I was scared. He was out cold. He looked—" his chest tightened as he admitted it, suddenly unable to fully breathe.

Liana's fingers squeezed as he tried to take another breath. The warmth from her hand was a pinpoint, everything else was fuzzy and he wasn't sure what was happening. The image of Brady circled into his head again.

"Hey, it's okay, Tan," she murmured. "Keep breathing."

"Dead. I thought he was dead," he coughed out, wanting to finish his sentence. Maybe if he said it out loud, he'd feel better.

His other hand went to his chest when that statement seized it completely. Pins and needles crawled across his scalp and down his arm as he tried to take another breath in and it wouldn't come. "Shit," he wheezed. "Must be the cold air in my lungs."

Liana made a strange sound in her throat and squeezed his hand again. "Tan, look at me. Hey, look at me, dammit!"

She forcibly pulled his chin over to her, and she got right in his face. "In through your nose, cowboy, then out through your mouth. Come on. Do it with me."

He stared stupidly at her as she sucked in a breath through her nose and then exhaled loudly. How was that going to help? He could barely breathe and she wanted him to pretend he was hyperventilating?

Wait, maybe he was. It was either that or a heart attack.

He attempted to suck in a breath and it wouldn't come, and he rocked forward. He coughed out a sharp breath and she nodded and motioned with her hand. "Again, hotshot, let's go."

"This is idiotic," he muttered, and tried again. That one was easier. Then another, and another. Eyes focused on her as she breathed with him. The steam from their mouths swirled around them, and he held onto the anchor of her touch. After a few minutes of her cajoling him to breathe like an angry bull, the pins and needles faded and his leg stopped jumping. He sagged backwards, a cold sweat across his forehead, and she patted his chest through his jacket.

That was exhausting, tedious, and humiliating.

"There you go," she said. "Congratulations, you've just had a textbook-perfect panic attack."

"A what?" he asked sharply.

"Not exactly a surprise. You had a lot to deal with today. I'm sorry if my question was too blunt."

"I've never—"

"Caitlin used to get them, and we worked through them together. I had a game with her where I would get her to describe all the stuff around her. It worked really well for her. You? You avoid thinking or talking about stuff, you walk away and sulk. So this was new, I bet."

She was right. He normally just stormed away when he was done with something. Avoiding it instead of dealing with it, shoving it away. Brady had told him that he was a classic conflict avoider once, and Liz usually gave him what for after the fact. Was he that obvious?

"Right."

She shifted as she looked up into his face and he looked down into hers. She was so close, her lips pink from the cold and he brought his free hand up to touch her face. He wanted to kiss her again, even after all that, and the worry that was still lingering in his muscles.

"Don't avoid the subject, Tanner," she murmured as she backed away from him.

"Not trying to," he said, his voice hoarse. "A distraction, maybe."

She sighed. "No distractions, cowboy. Let it out before you let it go."

"What kind of mumbo-jumbo is that?" he asked, and she laughed.

"Not mumbo-jumbo. Good advice a friend gave me recently. Talking about it gets it out of you so you can let the stress go, and then deal with the situation."

He unwound himself from her, the reality of the situation flooding back in, and now he did want to get moving, to forget what just happened. "Uh huh. Let's go. I want to check in."

Liana didn't move, but he could see the disappointment in her face. She had tried to help him, and now obviously thought she'd failed. He held out a hand to help her up. She had helped him, big time. He just wasn't ready to be that guy right now. It was messy. He didn't want messy.

"Tanner West, you are infuriating, and stubborn, and a stick in the mud," she said. "But for now, you get a pass. Let's go see Brady."

She went to walk away but he held her hand, and stopped her, pulling her back to him.

"Thank you.Today has been a... Jesus, I don't know... Fucking—" he stammered, and then stopped before he got crude, throwing his hand up in the air helplessly. Swearing wouldn't help.

"We'll get through it, okay?" She stepped close to him, and kissed him gently on the lips, then let go of his hand. The fleeting solidness of her pressed to him was more than enough to send his heart rate right back up where it was, but he stood rooted as she walked away from him. Blinking, he caught up to her and fell into step, deciding to process that one later.

Maybe she was right. He needed to let this shit go, to focus on his little brother and the clusterfuck Brady' accident presented. But there was another issue that he realized was messier than even a few days ago, even if he didn't want it. Liana was here, with him, and it felt right. She'd said 'we' in that statement.

What that meant, he honestly didn't know.