I don't want this to become a rant book but I am having a hard day. Scratch that, Im having a hard week.

I'm so so worried about one of my friends who I think may have committed suicide. And that's been bring me down.

Also, my family has just been really hard to deal with, my older sister bullies me and practically hates me. My parents are just really hard to deal with.

My anxiety has been acting up a lot. As has my depression.

There aren't enough long sleeve shirts in the world for this to be how I live.

And even though I have so many great things in my life, I always feel lonely. And I feel awful about that. I should be great full. Some people don't even have a place to sleep. And here I am complaining.

Not to mention, I hate my body image. I'm ugly and I get told all the time to stop saying that but I just can't.

I don't have any talent. I love to act, write, sing, and draw but I suck at all of them. I also want to be a police officer when I get older or maybe a homicide detective but I have too much anxiety for that.

Then there is the issue that my sister (who is prettier than me and better than me at everything) is going to my dream school and also MY school so she may end up getting close to my friends and they will pick her over me. (And it's not an over reaction to say that because it has happened before. I basically have ptsd from that to state it simply) it's just hard. No one would understand, it's such a complex situation. That's why I never mention it to you guys when you ask if I need to talk. I just never have enough energy to talk it all out.

I also have a metric shit ton of schoolwork I should be doin right now. But I don't have the motivation or energy to.

I barely even have the energy and motivation to type this all out. And like I said my anxiety is acting up so I'm trying not to have a panic attack as well.

I should shut up and stop bothering you all with this. I hope at least some of you read this and reply.

Sorry for waisting your time

Edit- welp, no one has read this yet...oof