So.. I've wanted to talk about my "main" insecurities and fears for a while now. And.. seems like I'm actually doing it. Woohoo.
Let's get fucking started.

1.) Paranoia
Some of you might be surprised by this (since I'm pretty open and stuff on the internet), but I feel like I'm watched. Always. Especially in class. This is the main reason I nearly always sit as far in the back as possible and also tend to wear my beanie and gloves (fingerless ones tho) if possible (most teachers are fine with it) and baggy clothes, so most of my skin isn't visible.

2.) Extreme fear of loss
Pizza and Mando both already witnessed this; if we're in close contact and you suddenly stop answering, I'll assume (in that order) that 1) you don't have time, 2) you hate me, 3) you're dead, 4) I'm being a bitch and you just don't have time, 5) you hate me. It pretty much stays at 5) until you answer (if you don't answer before).

3.) Growing old
Yes, that sounds stupid, I know, but it really scares me. I see old people around me a lot (idk why) and just.. it's scary. They all look half dead and these wrinkles are terrifying (don't judge me). I've seen so many elder people who can't do anything themselves anymore and it just fucking scares me. If I don't die because of WWIII, climate change or anything like that, there's a pretty high chance I'll commit suicide in my late fourties to early fifties if not earlier.