Good afternoon! Come on in, allow me to show you around. First allow me to introduce you to the two lovers on the couch over here, Substance Abuse and Substance Dependence. They kind of have a love-hate relationship, they want to quit it all, but then they just get sucked right back in. If you go into the kitchen you'll see the snack table where you can always find Binge Eating Disorder stuffing their face. If you get to the party early enough you can find Bulimia Nervosa here, but only for a short time before they go to the bathroom to purge. You'll never find Anorexia Nervosa here, matter of fact you'll probably find them as far away from the kitchen as possible. In the bedroom you'll find Insomnia trying to wake up Hypersomnia. We always invite Anxiety, but they never make it through to door. As for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, they don't like to come because they're afraid something will give them flashbacks. If you ask me, it's just plain paranoid. Speaking of which, Delusional Disorder usually doesn't ever get here on time, they have an issue with organization. Anyways, the DJ of this party is Bipolar Disorder, fair warning they can never decide if they want a fast or slow song. That doesn't bother Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, they're going to dance no matter what. In the upstairs bedroom is Erectile Dysfunction Disorder probably trying to please Nymphomania. Epilepsy and Schizophrenia are always over in the corner. Epilepsy is trying to stay away from the flashing lights and Schizophrenia is trying to figure out what is real and what they're imagining. I imagine every day for Schizophrenia is like being on acid. I would advise using the bathroom before coming next time, because we only have two bathrooms and both are usually taken by Bulimia Nervosa and Depression. Depression usually just spends their time at the party hiding from everyone and regretting coming. Then there's Multiple Personality Disorder, you never know where they are going to be or who you'll be talking to. It keeps the parties unique and interesting. We never have to clean up afterwards because Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is always going around cleaning everything up. Finally your handsome, charismatic, perfect host and guide around this lovely party, yours truly, Antisocial Personality Disorder, but you can call me Psychopathy. We'll call you the Average Person, and here at the Party of the Disorderly is where you belong.