I don't get to see my Dad much. I wish that he'd stop smoking so much. I don't want him to die early. And I wish he'd spend just a little more time with me. Sit down next to me, stroke my hair while we watch a film like he used to do when I was younger.

I wish he wasn't depressed. He doesn't take his pills anymore. He said he doesn't take them for me and my brother. Because they make him...not him. And I wish he wouldn't talk about his death as much. That maybe he could die the next day, asking us to play certain songs at his funeral. It's almost like he's planning an early death.

But I know he won't kill himself. He loves me and my brother too much. We're pretty much all he has to live for. My brother, despite being old enough to understand, just doesn't understand. My Brother and Dad argue, a lot. To the point of shouting and tears. It's these moments I turn my music up as loud as I can to escape it all and not cry. But the music just isn't loud enough. They're always there, fighting, in the background.

I try my hardest to be a good, kind daughter for my Dad. It's all that I can do but he deserves so much more. I don't know how to give it to him though.

I like it when we hug. We'll literally just stand there for ten minutes, not caring about anything else or if anyone's watching. Throughout the day we'll pass by eachother and simply say I love you. Because I do. I love my Dad. I may not see him much, and my Mum may have raised me more than anyone else. But I'll always be Daddy's little princess. I deny that I'm a princess, I'm not a girly girl. But if Dad said that I'm his little princess, then who am I to argue? I love him too much.

Ironic thing is...just as I've finished this piece...he asked if I would come to his funeral. If I was busy on the day, would I ditch it? Of course I'd ditch everything for him...I just wish he wouldn't say it now...

=^.^=