Alright memers, I haven't updated this in like 2 years or even since lockdown, BUT THE PICTURE OF AIZAWA ON THE COVER TAUNTS ME EVERY TIME I COME ON HERE. SO, I'M JUST GONNA FINISH THIS STORY BC HONESTLY, THIS MONSTROSITY DESERVES TO HAVE A PROPER FUNERAL XD

On another note, thank you to everyone who's actually stuck this far. And even if you haven't read this in two years, thank you again lol This story has been very insane (but not as insane as the comments~) XD

Also, prepare: this is verrrrry random (and long)~

I went to bed that night feeling really sad. My mental health was really going down the toilet because what Katsuki had said really hit different. You know, when he said that he wasn't desperate and I needed to make up my mind about who I was gonna date. It was really eye-opening. I mean, even the furries were starting to gossip about me.

So, yeah. It was really sad. I was sitting at my desk right now, watching YouTube videos on my phone (which I had snuck in). I was so depressed that I actually resorted to boyfriend ASMR for comfort. The video I was looping for the rest of the night was called: "ASMR Role Play - Caring and Supportive Funky Kong Gives You A Ride Home From The Airport."

The way Funky Kong consoled me in my time of darkness and need made me feel even sadder, though. It reminded me of how much I actually wanted a boyfriend!!! But out of all the dudes I knew, which one would be my sweet and supportive Funky Kong? Could I possibly find a beautiful man like that in real life or was that only a YouTube fantasy?

Without warning, I started tearing up and crying into my pillow. I was probably annoying all my female dormmates because of all my constant sobbing, but I missed the part where that was my problem. I mean, it's not like any of them had it as bad as me! They weren't cursed with the wretched power of memes!!!!! So, after crying and listening to Funky Kong's hawt words of wisdom, I finally fell asleep.

🤠🤠🤠

When I woke up the next day, I realized that I wasn't in my ratty, gross bed. Instead, I was stuck in a dark, vibrating compartment. It seemed as if I had been kidnapped and thrown into the back of a van. Wasn't sure, though—I felt really tired, so I laid back down and closed my eyes again.

Suddenly, I shot up.

Wait?! I've been kidnapped?! OMG, that's like illegal!!!!?!?!

I looked down at my hands and saw that I had been handcuffed with cheesy Dollar General handcuffs from the toy section for six-year-old boys! I tried ripping them off like Dwayne Johnson would in an action movie, but I had sticks for wrists!! It was impossible!

I started freaking out 'cuz what if I got kidnapped by a freaky yandere? OMG NO WHAT IF IT WAS MINETA? AW HECK NAW BRUV, I NEEDED TO GET OUTTA HERE.

I tried biting off the handcuffs but then I decided not to 'cuz they may have had his germs. But then again, Mineta couldn't drive, so it couldn't have been him. So, I tried biting them off anyway—but OMG, what if they had someone else's germs?!

I started spitting out the plastic-y taste. I tried to roll over so I could get comfy, but then I knocked into something thicc.

"Uhf! Wait—(Y/N)! YOU'RE AWAKE?!" Deku cried.

"Wait, Deku?!?!" I gasped. "Is that you?!"

"(Y/N)—YOU AIN'T DEAD???" Katsuki called.

"THANK SHREK YOU'RE ALIVE," Denki screeched.

Before I knew it, all the guys started calling my name. Apparently, I had been kidnapped along with Deku, Katsuki, Denki, Eijiro, Tenya, Hanta, Shouto, emo birb, and Yuga. So, whoever this kidnapper was—he was pretty stronk if he could kidnap all these unnaturally-shredded boiz.

"Alright, what the heck's happening?" I panicked. "Why have we all been abducted?"

"I don't know—what's the last thing you remember?" asked Hanta.

I remembered falling asleep to Funky Kong's soothing words, but for some reason, it was a little embarrassing to admit out loud. "Uhm, well, I went to bed—"

"Omg, dude, same," Denki said.

"Bruv, I went to sleep, too," Emo birb added.

"OKAY THAT'S NOT WHAT MATTERS," Katsuki raged. "DO ANY OF YOU IDIOTS REMEMBER BEING KIDNAPPED???"

. . . We all shook our heads. Katsuki just facepalmed.

Suddenly, I started to sniffle. Tears began to stream down my face like an anime character with PTSD. I had already gone through so much; now I've been kidnapped?! I remembered playing horrible pay-to-play otomes like this where the yanderes would always lock the MC up in a dog cage! I didn't wanna get locked up in a dog cage!!!

"Guys, I'm so sorry this happened!" I whimpered, slapping myself to the floor like a depressed Didney princess. "It's all my fault! I can't control this cursed power, and now, I'm probably never gonna find out which one of you I like the best!"

"Hey, hey, shh," Deku pulled me into a snuggly-duggly hug. He then whispered in my ear like an ASMR boyfriend with a super whamodyne mic. "It's okay. We're just getting kidnapped. Think of it more like a, well, a forced adoption."

Katsuki whisked me away from the broccoli boy and crushed me into his arms. "BRUH, I REALLY DON'T THINK YOU CAN COMFORT HER LIKE I CAN," he said while screaming in my ear. "I MEAN, SHE PROBABLY WANTS A GUY WHO'S ACTUALLY CAPABLE OF USING HIS QUIRK AND DOESN'T DIE IF HE GOES OVER 2%."

"Look, gank," Shouto deadpanned while whipping me into his arms. "I was the first one she kissed if you don't remember. She may not know it yet, but I'm the one she wants."

"Kinda like how our parents wanted you?" Dabi chuckled from the corner, which surprised me since I didn't even know he was there.

"Yeah, well, at least they didn't run screaming from me like your skin obviously did."

Dabi threw down the Debbie cake he was eating. "TELL THAT TO YOUR BURNT EYE, YOU FREAK—"

"Woah, woah, woah." Eijiro pulled me into his arms. "Can't you see you two are scaring (Y/N)?" He started cradling me back and forth. "Don't listen to them, (Y/N). As soon as the van stops, we're getting outta here."

"Uh, why don't we just use our Quirks to escape?" I monotoned.

"Yes, but the van might crash," Tenya cautioned.

"And besides, it gives us an excuse to ditch camp," Denki added.

He had a point. So, we all patiently waited for our kidnapper to stop the van. And as soon as he'd get out, we could all just attack him. It seemed like the perfect plan. But for the next half hour, things got pretty boring. So, Yuga did my mahcup so I'd look bootiful. If this kidnapping thing got out've hand, I might end up on national TV. So, I needed to look my best and on fleek for what was to come.

🤠🤠🤠

Suddenly, the van stopped. We all jerked with the movement and Dabi smacked into the wall, creating a dent. Then the backdoors opened wide, and the sunlight poured in, causing us all to hiss like vampires. However, before I knew it, Katsuki blasted himself out the door with his rocket hands. He then elbow-dropped a tall figure and started Falcon-punching him repeatedly.

Shouto took my hand and gracefully escorted me out. "Milady?"

I blushed a thousand shades of red and followed him out of the van. When my vision adjusted, I found that the van had parked in . . . a large, crowded parking lot. Palm trees were everywhere, and it almost looked like we were in Hollywood. Now, I was really confused. I thought we would be in a creepy forest or something.

When I saw the guy Katsuki was beating up, I saw that it was none other than my deadbeat dad: No Might. He was dead on the ground but somehow, he still kept that weird, never-changing smile.

"WHAT THE—? UGH!" Katsuki pulled back. "SERIOUSLY?! WHY DO YOU KEEP STALKING US? NOBODY LIKES YOU!"

"Look!" he coughed. "I didn't do this for you, I did this for (Y/N)'s good."

I raised an eyebrow. "Uh, what the heck are you talking about?"

"Uh—I think he means that," Denki murmured, pointing straight ahead.

Confused, I squinted at the large studio beyond the parking lot and saw a big, tacky sign of Dr. Phil's perky, mustached face, which obstructed the natural beauty. Below his face was a sign that read: Dr. Phil – Weekdays, 3PM.

"Wow, I love Dr. Phil!" Tenya robotically enthused while chopping the air with his arms. "He's so educational and cares very deeply for his patrons."

"Good. 'Cause you guys are going on his show tonight," All Might mentioned.

Suddenly, his glasses cracked. "Hahaha, WHAT—"

"Uh, wait, that's on national TV, right?" Hanta asked, chuckling nervously.

I moved closer to Katsuki and Shouto for comfort. Shouto took my hand, but Katsuki slapped it away and yanked me close to him instead. That's when Dabi popped him in the jaw, and Katsuki flew back like a piece of Jell-O. Thus, another WWE match began.

"I don't get it, though. Why do we need Dr. Phil? We don't have any problems," Denki asked while smacking on gum.

"Honestly, as much as I hate to admit it . . . we kinda do," I relented. I mean, it was obvious that I would never make up my mind about who to date, so maybe I did need an old man to tell me everything that was wrong with me and then dictate my love life.

"Well, if you say so . . ." Deku murmured before getting upper-cutted on accident by Dabi.

"Oh, sorry, that was meant for the ugly one," he apologized.

I rolled my eyes and facepalmed.

🤠🤠🤠

With much angst and unnecessary fighting, the guys finally agreed that it was a good idea for us to talk to Dr. Phil. Well, actually, it wasn't that hard to convince everybody—just the guys with daddy issues. They were more emo about the whole thing since they had a hard time listening to male authority, and Katsuki only agreed because we told him it'd be a good opportunity for him to get famous. And of course, since he wanted to be the #1 Pro Hero, he fell for it—even though appearing on Dr. Phil's show would possibly ruin his life. He'd probably become the next Cash Me Ousside girl if he didn't keep his mouth shut.

However, she became famous, so it'd probably all turn out okay. Right now, I was in the dressing room, getting ready. Yuga was doing my mahcup because this was my first time appearing on TV! And honestly, I was a little nervous. I mean, I'd come so far from the trash can behind that Chinese restaurant. Well, maybe not mentally, but certainly locationally—if that made sense.

Anyhow, Yuga was touching up my hair and mahcup. Since I was appearing on TV for the world to see, he said I needed to look magnifique. I wasn't really sure what that meant since he spoke the bootiful language of Baguette, but it probably meant 'skinny legend.'

However, the more I thought about it, something seemed weird. "Hm, I wonder why he kidnapped you, too," I wondered. "I mean, it's not like I'm in love with you or anything."

Yuga death-gripped the hairbrush he was using to brush my hair and sucked in the pain. "Oui, I'm not like those yanderes. Well, at least not most of the time~" he teeheed demonically.

Well, that wasn't terrifying at all. However, the door suddenly slammed open. The only girls that were ever loyal friends to me ran in: Ochako, Tsuyu, Momo, Jirou, and Mina. Good thing Toru wasn't here since she was always so toxic and jealous of my harem.

Or was she . . . ?

"(Y/N)!" Mina interrupted my thoughts, flinging Yuga out the window. "OMG, we were so scared!! I thought you got kidnapped by Mineta or something!"

"Same, though," I nodded. "Anyway, how'd you guys find me? I was kidnapped."

"Oh, Dr. Phil tweeted that you guys were coming on his show," Tsuyu explained. "He said that a girl would have to choose between, like, 8 guys. And we just knew it was you."

I held my heart and beamed. "Awww, you guys know me so well~!"

Ochako nodded. "Uh-huh. Anyway, girl, how you holding up for real, though? I mean, we brought you a basket that has some of the comforts of home. You know, just some things that every girl needs before choosing the guy she'll be with forever." She pulled out a pink, jumbo basket that almost looked like one of those pre-made Easter baskets from Walmart. It was full of party-sized bags of Cheetos, chocolate, L'Oréal hair products, and Ninki Minjaj makeup. There were also a few shoujo mangas like Cory in the House, Jojo Siwa's Bizarre Adventure, and Sailor Shrek.

I happily received the basket and squealed, "Eeeee! You girls know me so well."

"Heehee, yeah, just don't choose Deku, okay?" Ochako smiled with murder in her eyes.

"Oh, uh, don't worry . . ." I lied. I still wasn't sure if I wanted to date him myself, but I didn't want to get killed, so I hoped I sounded convincing.

"Okay, good! Teehee~"

Jirou rolled her eyes. "Don't worry about her. Just go out there and slay, queen."

I smiled, but then I asked, "Hey, wait, why are you guys being so nice to me? I mean, I kinda stole every opportunity any of you had of ever getting a boyfriend."

"Look at it this way," Momo cooed. "We're hoping you'll pick someone that no one would ever want. You know, like Katsuki, Hanta, or Dabi. That way, we'll all be happy."

Well, this wasn't toxic at all. Nonetheless, I told them all "c'est la yee," and they wished me the best of luck as they walked out. I spent the next few minutes stuffing my face with chocolate and Cheetos until the show began. Still, I wondered how we even made it to Dr. Phil's studio in less than a night. I mean, we were only in Japan just a night ago. Now, we were in America, so I guess All Might drove all the way through the Pacific Ocean to get us here.

Honestly, I knew he was a scroungy sleaze . . . but not gonna lie, that was kind of impressive. Maybe he really did care about me. Oh, well. I still wasn't gonna accept him back into my life so easily. If he wanted forgiveness, then he needed to get religion.

"(Y/N)! You're up!" Dr. Phil's wingman called.

"Oh—coming!" I quickly reapplied my shiny lip gloss and smoothed out my outfit that would make everyone at the Met Gala jealous. I looked so hawt right now, Shrek couldn't even.

As I ran out the door and toward the stage, I was stopped unexpectedly by two figures. When I looked up, I saw Aizawa and Tomura—who was eating Chex Mix out of a plastic bag. However, Aizawa did not look happy.

"DADZAWA, I CAN EXPLAIN—"

"I don't wanna hear it. You went behind my back and ran away so you could appear on Dr. Phil?" he droned. "Do you really want to become the next meme that everyone quotes for years until it dies?"

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I snapped at him, "I am a meme, Dad! This is who I am. It's why I lived in a trash can my whole life. And besides, All Might kidnapped me—but that's not the point. Point is: I'm finally gonna choose who I'm picking tonight. This harem thing has been going on for, like, years now, so today's the day I finally find my Funky Kong."

For some reason, that must have hit different because I could have sworn Aizawa was getting misty-eyed.

"Bruh, you know she's right. I'm tired of all the love letters we get in the mail," Tomura whined. "And the stalkers that look through the window."

"Shut up, crusty-face. I need a moment." Aizawa swallowed and then continued, "Okay, look, I just don't want ya to grow up so fast. I mean, I know I adopted you only forty chapters ago, but you're still my little gorl. So, whoever you pick, they better treat you right or else I'll have Tomura shake their hand."

My heart filled with happiness and the power of family. I never thought I'd have such an amazing dad and nephew who was more like a brother to me now. In that moment, I hugged them both super tightly. I was so happy that my Quirk started playing Kazoo Kid (Trap Remix). Everything really felt like it was falling in place, but of course . . . I still had to choose a soulmate . . . AND IN FRONT OF LIVE TELEVISION—

As soon as I pulled back, I wiped my eyes and nodded determinedly like an anime character. I looked at Aizawa before he reassured me, "I'll be backstage, sleeping."

"And I'll be torturing Sims," Tomura added.

I grinned, not sure what to say to that, and then rushed onto the stage. And let me just say, Dr. Phil's studio was just as clean as it was on YouTube. The walls had big digital monitors with his name "Dr. Phil" on them in case we didn't know who he was. There were also cardboard cutouts of Dr. Phil himself, and throw pillows with his face printed on them.

Dr. Phil seemed like a very selfless man, so I knew he could help me greatly.

The audience was filled with super attractive people and skinny Waluigi legends, which seemed totally realistic. This was a reality show, after all. There were also big Hollywood cameras that employees were tending to. So, I went to the center of the stage and sat down on the tall, blue chairs that the Doctor had kindly provided for us.

The guys were already sitting down, so I sat in the vacant chair in the middle. There was another empty chair, but I liked the middle one the best. So, I sat there and just waited.

All the guys looked just as nervous as I was, yet some looked annoyed. Katsuki was sitting like a gangster with his feet slung over the armrests, eating Hot Cheetos; Tenya was sitting there as stiff as a robot; Deku was tapping his thick, red shoes together; and Denki had passed out while drooling. Everyone else looked like they hated their lives.

The only problem I had was how uncomfortable these chairs were. So, I spawned a Furby with my Quirk and used it as a footrest. Ah, much better. Just as I began to relax, the ear-blasting sound of the show's theme song echoed from all around me. The cameraman yelled that he was recording, which seemed very professional, so I sat up straight.

The audience applauded as the Doctor himself strutted onto stage. Why, it was Dr. Phil—the miracle man. He didn't look a day over 83.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Phil and this is a show called Dr. Phil," he told us while sashaying to his seat—which was mine. "Uhm, hunny, you're sittin' in my seat, so you might wanna wazz off."

"Oh—I just thought I was the star—"

He laughed like Michael Jackson. "Hunneeeeey, if that's what 'chu think, then you got a big storm comin'."

He then flung me into the other seat—which was the one opposite to all the guys. Great, now I'd have to make eye contact with them.

"Anyway, welcome back to Season 56, Episode 384," Dr. Phil spoke while clacking his Lee press-ons. "If you got my tweet then you know tonight will be—"

"Hey, don't tell her to wazz off, you freak," Denki defended my honor.

"No ❤️" He then looked at me. "Anyway, your dad told me about your issues. So, let's see how bad they are, and if I can't give any good advice, I'll send you to my special ranch~"

"Dude, you sound like a psycho," Eijiro stated.

"Hushushush, anyway, this isn't about you. It's about all your problems and the money I'll make from it~ Anyway, tell me all about what's going on. Don't be shy."

Wow. I didn't know Dr. Phil was such a gold digger. Nonetheless, I began to bear my soul. "Well . . . it all started when I got accepted into U.A. I dropped out of elementary school, so I was trying to catch up on my studies—but the school was full of super-hot boys! It wasn't too bad at first, but then I kissed one of them . . . and then another one . . . and then another—"

"She made a kissing journal. What does that tell ya?" Shinsou scoffed since he was apparently here now.

"Yeah, then eventually, she kissed all of us," Hanta blabbed.

"She kissed me twice," Katsuki noted, holding up a Cheeto.

"mMMMMM, I see. Yes, this is very interesting," Dr. Phil nodded. "The floor is made of floor."

I raised an eyebrow, but continued, nonetheless, "Look, I kissed all of them, okay? I'm not proud of it—okay, actually, that was a lie—but it really screwed me over 'cuz now I can't decide who I want! They kiss so good and it's hard to decide!!"

"Huh. Have you ever thought of picking them based on the best personality?" The Doctor suggested.

"Bruh, you act like we're a buffet of dudes," Shinsou deadpanned.

"Actually . . . no, I never thought of that." I thought back, ignoring him. "But that's even harder! I don't know who I want."

Somewhere out there, I could sense Aizawa facepalming while watching me on TV—unless he was sleeping.

"Okay, well, what are you looking for in a partner?" asked Dr. Phil while he filed his press-ons.

I looked at all the guys and saw them gazing at me expectantly.

I lowered my head, which caused sad violin music to play. "Well . . . my whole life, I felt like an outcast because of my Quirk. I mean, my parents didn't even show up for the day of my birth. Whenever I got sad, I would always spawn dead memes, which always made the other kids make fun of me. I want someone to accept me in all my chaotic memery. I want someone to be there for me and complete my meme references."

"I just—I want to be more than a Glonk—you know, that green thing that does nothing and dies. I want to have my own Didney romance. I want someone to be my ASMR boyfriend."

Around that time, all the guys started tearing up, and the audience awed. Wow. It felt really, really good to get that off my chest. After all this time, I finally realized what I wanted in a boyfriend. I wanted him to love meh??? Maybe there was more to relationships than just kissing.

Dr. Phil yawned. "'Kay, good to know. Anywoo, we gotta talk about the guys' issues now. Why do you all love her so much anyway?"

WaS ThAt An InSuLt???

Deku clenched his fists. "'Cause! She's—She's beautiful! She has more memes than brain cells AND I LOVE THAT—"

"Okay. Next?"

Denki cleared his throat. "Remember when that Bee Boy fell in love with that human woman in that blockbuster movie? Well, it was a forbidden love, but they still got together. And I know all these losers are forbidding me from being in love with (Y/N), but I still love her. So, yah." He clicked his tongue and finger-gunned me.

I blushed fiercely and looked down to hide my face.

"Next?" Dr. Phil continued.

Eijiro was about to begin, but Katsuki cut in, "LOOK!!! I DIDN'T COME HERE TO GET MY BRAIN PICKED! I CAME HERE TO SEE HOW SHE FEELS ABOUT ME! WE ALREADY KNOW HOW ALL THESE SKUNKBAGS FEEL!!!"

"Well, you are right about that," Dr. Phil agreed. "I just needed to drag this out a little more because I need at least a ten-minute video for YouTube if I'm going to get better ad revenue."

We all rolled our eyes. But then everyone looked back at me . . . .

That was the moment I knew—all this tomfoolery had to come to an end. I needed to pick somebody, and I couldn't play dumb anymore. Besides, I think deep down in my heart, I already knew who I really wanted to be with. I'd known it all this time, but this was the first moment I had actually confronted the realization. And it wasn't because of the kissing thing—it was because I really wanted to be with him.

My heart chose . . .?

Alright, guys. Otome time XD I didn't think it was fair to pick a certain guy as the author since so many of you have different favorites, so I'm gonna let you decide~

🥦 Deku 🥦

"Deku . . ." I confessed.

Katsuki wheezed and died, but Deku's jaw fell to the ground. He then stood up from his chair. "W-W-W-W-WAIT--YOU MEAN ME????"

"Duh!!" I giggled. "I like you, Deku! I always have. You've got such cute freckles, big eyes, a broccoli weave~"

"I . . . I never knew you felt that way about me." He began to tear up. "I mean--I don't deserve you, (Y/N). Not after what I did--becoming Darth Deku."

"That doesn't matter anymore. We all make mistakes. So, come over here and kiss me, you hunky broccoli boy."

He blushed redder than Eijiro's hair. Without a word, however, he shot up and ran straight for me. Time seemed to slow down as I ran toward him as well. Glorious classical music played in that moment until we reached each other and embraced lovingly. As soon as our lips met - the world could have been snapped to dust by Thanos and I wouldn't have even noticed~

As soon as we pulled apart, we gasped like Jack from Titanic for air.

"Oh, (Y/N)! You kiss like a princess!"

"I know~!!!"

"Will you be my Minecraft girlfriend please?" he romantically asked.

"I will, Deku~~~!!!!"

We both kissed again, causing everyone to grow uncomfortable. But in that beautiful moment of bliss, little did we know that a vengeful Ochako was watching from behind the scenes. However, that didn't matter at that moment. Everything was perfect the way it was because Deku was kissing me and I was kissing him.

"By tHe wAy, I lOvE YoU," Deku mentioned since he forgot.

"EMG, I LOVE YOU TOO~"

"So, you don't hate me for going to the dark side?" he asked again.

"Of course, not! I like bad boys anyway," I teeheed.

"Really? Phew! Because who knows! I might turn into Bully Deku again if some black goo from space gets on my soopah suit."

"Omg, like Bully Maguire from Spider-Man 3?" I asked.

"Uh-huh."

"Don't worry! I'll support you all the way~"

And so, that was the beginning of a dysfunctional relationship. However, I loved my dysfunctional boyfriend because I was dysfunctional, too. If I couldn't accept him at his Darth Deku, then I couldn't accept him at his best~

"Okay, even I can't take this." Dabi got up and walked offstage.

Eventually, everyone got up and left. Even the audience. They just couldn't take our fabulousness because they were all h8ters.

After everyone was gone, Deku and I walked backstage hand-in-hand, but our secret tryst was ruined by my nosy nephew Tomura.

"Wait, so he's gonna be visiting now? I gotta go but a thicker pair of gloves."

"Tomura, I swear, if you dust my boyfriend, I will kick you," I threatened.

"Well, according to your journal, he wasn't even that high up. So, what gives?"

"OMG, YOU READ MY JOURNAL???" I gasped.

"Hey, I gotta look out for you."

"That's a little invasive, not gonna lie . . ." Deku muttered.

"You know what's really invasive? Your lips on her face. So, begone," Denki said menacingly.

"You're all just h8ters," I scoffed. "But we better get out of here before Ochako finds out. I might be forced to change my mind if she holds me hostage."

"What're you saying? We're just friends," Deku stupidly grinned

"Yup. That would explain the broken sidewalk levitating in the air outside," Hanta deadpanned.

"Huh. Well, I think she'll be fine," I beamed.

Little did I know at that moment that for the rest of our high school experience, I would be stuck in a love triangle like Twilight with Ochako and Deku. It was awesome.

💥 Katsuki 💥

". . . Katsuki," I answered.

The audience gasped. His crimson eyes widened, and he sat up straight in his seat.

"Wait—what'd you say?" he asked, not screaming for once.

I hopped out of my chair and announced it for the world, "You're the one I like, Katsuki! I know everyone tells me you're trashy, but I don't care! I lived in a trash can for years—but with you, I feel like I know where I belong!"

He dropped his Cheeto bag, speechless. He then wiped his fingers on Deku's jacket and walked toward me. My face went bright red until he stopped in front of me. When I looked him in the eyes, something was different. His usual sneer had softened into a fond gaze.

"Do you . . . like me back?" I shyly asked.

"Like you? I'm not five years old." He then caressed my cheek. "I love you, (Y/N)."

My heart burst out of my chest! Nobody's ever told me that before except the Funky Kong ASMRs on YouTube. Suddenly, my Quirk started spawning pink shoujo sparkles from all around us. Before I could say it back, he grabbed my waist, exploded the camera, and kissed me eagerly. But I didn't need a journal to rate it this time because words couldn't express how happy I was.

When we reluctantly pulled apart, I hugged him tightly and sighed, "I love you, too, Katsuki~"

"Thanks. So, does that mean you'll be my girlfriend?"

"Of course!" I giggled.

"Okay, good." He then turned to the others. "Alright, now that (Y/N)'s my girlfriend, I don't want to see any of your ugly faces near her beautiful one again. Well, at least not the ones who talk to Deku. I'm fine with you, Rockhead. And maybe the one obsessed with Bee Movie. But everyone else is banished from her presence. Got that, nerds?"

Most of them groaned and began to get up and leave.

"So, we got kidnapped and taken to America for nothing?" Hanta whined.

"So, it seems," Shouto deadpanned.

"Well, what girl's gonna want us now that we've given the best of our love to (Y/N)?!" Denki sulked.

"I missed the part where that's my problem," Katsuki droned. "Now, shut up. I'm talking to my girlfriend." He then turned to me and took my hand. "Hey, babe. Wanna go out?"

I nodded peppily. "I've always wanted to go on a date!"

"Hey! I took you on a date to Poubelle, mind you," Tenya obnoxiously reminded, probably chopping the air.

"YO! CORRECT MY GIRLFRIEND AGAIN, AND I'LL—"

"Katsuki~!" I chirped. "Don't worry about him. I already have a place picked out for our date!"

Immediately, he calmed down again. "Where's that, babe?"

"Since we're in Los Angeles, I was thinking we could go to Universal Studios! They have a movie theater that plays Shrek in 4D!"

"Wow. Well, I do like horror movies, so sure. Why not?"

I grinned, but before we left, I spawned a magic carpet with the power of memes.

"Hop on!" I beamed while sitting down and patting the spot next to me.

"Wait—does this mean we're gonna sing?"

I twirled my hair like Radio Rebel. "Well, maybe . . . could we?"

He sat down beside me and then looked me dead in the eyes. "I would love that."

Wow, I didn't realize how romantic he was~ So, he blasted a hole in the ceiling, and we flew over the city of L.A. on our ~magic carpet ride~ while snuggling close together. He used his explosions to send us streaking across the sky and into the golden sunset. But to this day, I don't think the people of L.A. realized what they were seeing when they saw us rocket by.

However, confessing my love for Katsuki was the best thing I ever did because for the first time ever, I felt like I had a home. I felt I was welcome.

Welcome at Kacchili's.

❄️ Shouto 🔥

". . . Shouto," I declared, exhaling deeply.

Shouto went weak and fell to his knees. "Is--Is this what it feels like to be loved?" he asked, clenching his heart.

OMG, poor emo baby! He's never felt love before. Well, I guess that was just another good reason for us to be together~

"Yes, Shouto, I love you with all my heart," I admitted lovingly.

"Only you, (Y/N), can melt this heart of ice," he poetically replied.

The audience awed, but Dabi choked on air like Bully Maguire. "BRO, I HAVE MORE PTSD THAN YOU. IF ANYONE DESERVES A GIRLFRIEND, I DO!!"

I just smiled and walked over to Dabi, touching his scarred cheek. "I know you have scars, but his are on the inside that only I can heal~ I'm sure you can find a nice therapist to help yours."

"Scars on the inside?! I have those, too!" he whined.

Ignoring him, I turned to Shouto and helped him up. He then hugged me like he'd never let go. It was like all the pain of his past was melting away.

"(Y/N), you're my life now. I never thought anyone could heal my PTSD. But . . . when you told me that thing about Shrek's dad trying to eat him, I knew you were the girl for me. You just really got how I felt."

"Well, you're just the right temperature for me~" I cooed.

"But I'm hot and cold."

"Exactly. We all have our flaws, but those make us kweens."

"I love you, (Y/N). You know, I came on Dr. Phil with my dad once long ago, but nothing ever changed. But now . . . everything's changing."

"I love you, too. Let's kiss and forget about all our trauma."

"I would love that."

He then leaned in to kiss me, and I felt shockwaves of hotness and coldness. It was as if he were trying to be the perfect temperature for me, but failing. And honestly, it was so cute.

👓 Tenya 👓

"Tenya!" I confessed.

"Really?" Tenya asked, seeming shocked himself. He then readjusted his glasses. "Wow. It's great to see you finally came to your senses. And I'll forgive you for kissing all those other strange men."

Suddenly, Denki yeeted by and kissed me on the lips one last time, nearly electrocuting me. "Forgive this, loser!!!!" He then skrrted out the room before Tenya could lecture him.

"Well, then." Tenya cleared his throat. "Seeing that she is now taken, the next man who attempts to do that to my girlfriend will suffer the wrath of Gru."

"Next guy?!" Shouto snapped, finally losing it. "What about him? (Y/N), you don't wanna be with this clown! I would've iced him before he ran outta the room."

"But you didn't," I scoffed, strutting over to Tenya. "Tenya, I've decided that I want to be your poubelle~"

"Great. Then let me take you home to Mother. She had been dying to meet my future kween."

"Oh, Tenya! Don't make me blush," I giggled.

"Forgive me! If I ever step my bounds and become too toxic, don't be afraid to tell me."

"This conversation is toxic!" Dabi cried.

"Nobody likes a drama kween, Dabi," I scolded. "Anyway, take me to your mother, Tenya. And then we can go to the library and listen to Dark Academia music."

"Don't you mean 'classical?'"

"Well, not for aesthetic people."

With that being said, we both kissed, confessed our love, and he picked me up in his arms and rocketed me out of there. I loved being able to date Sonic the Human~

👍 Denki 👍

"Denki! I choose you!" I beamed.

"YEEESSSSSSS!" He pumped his fist and jumped out of his seat. "I knew giving money to those homeless people would boost my luck!"

"Homeless people? That was me!" Dabi growled.

Denki blew him off and ran over to me. He helped me out of my chair like a princess and hugged me tightly. I smiled brightly and nuzzled into his chest, glad that I was finally able to be in the arms of the guy I loved.

"Sorry I kissed all those other boys!" I giggled.

"It's okay, babe. I forgive you."

"Forgive her?! Listen to this judgmental freak!" Shinsou cut in. "I got news for ya, dude. She wasn't even goin' out with you."

"Come on, babe. Let's a find a place more private where losers aren't judging us," Denki whispered.

I smiled and followed him outside. We went behind a Chinese restaurant dumpster area which was totally coincidentally and romantic. It must have been fate because this was almost like my old home.

"Denki, it's so much like home," I gasped. "Did you know I used to live in a trash can behind a Chinese restaurant?"

"Yeah, that's why I picked this place. I wanted us to have a picnic in a place close to your heart." He laid down a throw blanket with a picture of Berry B. Benson's face smushed in on the front. We both sat down as he whipped out a mysterious picnic basket. He then opened it and pulled out two Burger King paper bags.

"Denki, you did all this . . . for me?" I asked, getting misty-eyed.

"Of course, baby."

"Baby? I think I like babe better--actually, wait, no I like 'baby,'" I changed my mind.

"Well, I'll call you both. Don't worry. Anyway, I got the Triple Whopper with Cheese for me, and the Hamburger with onion rings for you. Mine has over a thousand calories, so I figured you'd want something lighter. But if you're on a diet, I'll eat the onion rings."

"Actually . . ." I took his Triple Whopper with Cheese and inhaled it whole, giggling cutely right after.

"Woah. Don't worry. We'll just run laps after to burn it off. That was hot."

"My memes burn all my calories for me~"

"Woah. Daz hawt."

I teeheed. After we finished our 3000 calorie challenge mukbang, he slid his hand over mine. I felt a little tingle of electricity.

"So, I wanna confess somethin'," he confessed.

"Oh?"

"I already got you a ring, but I won't give it to you now. Unless you want it as a promise ring, but I got it from Claire's. You know, that store for girls. It was in the Jojo Siwa section, but I'll replace it later with something real when my dad gets a job."

"OMG, really? I--I would like to wear it now, actually," I blushed.

"Really? Cool." He reached into his pocket and slid a pink heart ring that was as big as J-Lo's wedding ring that Batman gave to her when they were dating. She kept it after she broke up with him, but this one was so much more romantic~

My eyes welled with tears. "Thank you, Denki. I can't wait for the replacement~" I then kissed him sweetly.

"Yeah, I can't wait when my dad gets back what he gambled away."

I smiled and leaned my head on his shoulder. He then kissed my forehead and told me he loved me. And honestly, same.

🗿 Eijiro 🗿

". . . Eijiro!" I finally admitted.

His eyes softened, but he couldn't even confess his feelings before Katsuki started badmouthing him, "Rockhead?! You gotta be kidding me. I mean, if it'd been Deku, I'd understand that you're a bloomin' idiot, but Kirishima? Over me? I mean, he's like the lesser-powerful version of me."

"Quit talkin' to my girlfriend or you'll feel my rock-hard forehead headbutting yours!" Eijiro threatened.

"See? He's prone to violence. Do you really wanna be with a guy prone to violence?"

"You pinned me against the wall on the first day of school!" I reminded.

"I was bein' protective!"

"Shut up, loser! Quit talkin' to my girlfriend." Eijiro hopped up and whisked me into his arms like a princess. "Come on, babe. Let's go somewhere where you won't be harassed. This place is totally non-manly."

I blushed fiercely and then nodded. He then hurried outside and took us to the most romantic hidden spot in the vicinity. Behind the dumpsters~ I really felt at home at that moment. He then placed me down gently and took both my hands.

"Sorry 'bout that. I didn't wanna confess my feelings in front of them anyway," he confessed.

My face heated up. He was right--behind the dumpsters was a much better place for love confessions.

"So . . . you were going to confess~?" I smiled kittenishly.

He blushed and looked away. "Well, truth is . . . I've had a crush on you since the first day of school."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I mean, you're just so cute, and you're a meme come true."

My heart fluttered. "You--You think so?"

"Yeah. And I don't care how many boys you kissed. I obviously must have been the best kisser if you chose me."

"Oh, Eijiro, there's so much more to it than that."

"Really?" he grinned, a little surprised. "Like what?"

"Like your Myspace scene hair. It's just so cute~"

He turned redder than his hair. "You're just so beautiful inside and out. I just--I'm not good with words. Let me show you instead."

He then wrapped me in his arms and placed his rock-hard lips on mine. Just kidding! It was totally romantic and he kissed like a totally normal human being~ Somehow, his score had increased from last time. But I was sure it'd increase more with every time we kissed. And I was sure we'd kiss a lot~

After all, who didn't enjoy a good kiss behind the dumpsters? ❤️

🧵 Hanta 🧵

". . . Hanta," I wheezed.

Hanta's eyes bugged out of his skull.

"You have GOT to be kidding me," Katsuki droned.

"Tape boy?!" Denki sulked. "Why?! He's so boring!"

"And ugly," Shouto added.

"Hey, don't say that about him~"

Suddenly, Hanta's tape shot out of his elbows, and they wrapped my waist, twirling me to him. He then grabbed my waist and whispered in my ear, "Stick to me, babe. And I'll show you the world."

"BRUH, HE SOUNDS LIKE A MASS-PRODUCED VALENTINE!!!!" Eijiro wailed.

Ignoring him, I fanned my blushing face. "Oh, Hanta. You're so hawt~"

"I know. C'mon, babe. Let's get outta here. Tokoyami," he called.

Tokoyami automatically flew up, and we both sat on top of his back. We then kashooted out the window and into the skies of L.A. For the rest of the evening, he showed me the world of America. We saw lots of Walmarts and McDonald's. It was so hawt.

💙 Dabi 💙

"Dabi!" I called out with more passion than Harry Potter.

"Wait, did I hear that right? Or did I just dream it?" he muttered in disbelief.

"BRUV, HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE SKIN!" Denki protested.

"I don't care. I love my little Frankenstein hottie anyway~" I purred.

"And I love my meme kween," Dabi smiled for the first time in his life.

"Wow, Icy-Hot. How does it feel to be rejected for your skinless brother?" Katsuki taunted.

"Well, not gonna lie, I'm actually glad for my brother. He deserves some goodness in his life."

Without warning, I ran up to Dabi. and he lifted me into the air Dirty Dancin' style. He was so much hotter than Patrick Swayze. Literally. I mean, he had blue fire power. And when our lips touched, I almost needed skin graphs myself. He was smokin'!

When we pulled apart, he smirked, "Finally. Dabi is a free elf."

"Yes, we stan an independent elf~"

"Yes. Now I don't have to charbroil burgers in my dad's joint anymore."

"But your burgers were so good."

"Well, I'll only charbroil burgers for you from now on."

I blushed. He really was the best boyfriend ever~

🔮 Shinsou 🔮

I wasn't sure if he had brainwashed me into falling in love with him because I felt a little dazed when I said his name. "Shinsou!" But either way, I was feeling it.

"He's brainwashing her!" my harem accused.

"Shut up! I would never do such a thing to the woman I love," Shinsou brazenly announced.

"You . . . You love me?!" I squealed.

"Of course, I do," he smirked. "Who wouldn't love such a hot babe as yourself?"

"Oh, please!" Katsuki raged.

Ignoring them, I got up and walked toward Shinsou. He got up as well and met me halfway across the stage. He placed his hands on my waist, and I placed my hands on his shoulders.

"You are sooooo hypnotic~" I flirted.

"I'm the one under your spell, (Y/N)." He nuzzled my nose.

"BRUH, HE'S BRAINWASHING YOU!!!!" the h8ters kept accusing.

"If he was brainwashing me, would I do this?" I grabbed his face and kissed him like a princess. He kissed me back bewitchingly for at least a few minutes. For some reason, everyone was a little uncomfortable. However, stupid oxygen made us pull back, and we came out for air before going back at it again.

"We get the point!" Denki screamed. "Now unless there's an alternate reality where I'm your ultimate bae, I'm leaving this story." He then did a peace sign and poofed out of thin air.

"Forget them, babe," Shinsou told me. "They're just jealous of our hotness."

"Ugh. Tell me about it. I've been dealing with it the whole story."

Without further ado, we kissed again to make up for lost time. And that's what America had to watch on TV on that certain weekday at 3:00 PM.

Wow, guys. I guess that's the finale for the entire book series. I know it might be a little abrupt but there was no way I could keep up with this bc of how busy I've been lol So, I figured ending it would be best ♥

I also just loved this story too much to leave it unfinished! But anyway, I really hope you guys liked it because I've had so much fun writing this. All the comments I've gotten have been amazing and it's blown me away lol. You've all been so supportive on both Quotev and Wattpad.

I've been writing my own original stories in real life that I plan to publish one day, so that's why I've been inactive. Writing is my passion, and I hope you have all enjoyed the story! Cya my fellow memers! XD

Lastly, if you enjoy totally chaotic high school stories with this type of humor, check out my original series: Surviving Specter High: Werewolves 101 on my profile. It's about a normal human girl who finds herself accidentally enrolled in a supernatural high school full of werewolves, vampires, fairies, and satyrs.

Thank you!