Ah yes more randomness.

~~~

The next day was just a regular school day—boys attacking each other for my honor, and girls punting Mineta out the window every corner I turned. One of the many reasons I loved U.A.~

After school ended, I went back home and saw that something was falling out of the mailbox. Pulling it out, I noticed that it was a letter from Tenya. I carried this heavy tome up to my room, wishing that he had sent the audio version of whatever he had to say instead. When I ripped open the packaging, I saw that the greeting was written in extremely complex kanji that was more suitable for a wedding invitation rather than a high school letter.

'Dear Ms. (Y/N),
Allow me to first compliment you on your inner and outer beauty. Your skin is the one of a porcelain goddess, and your silky hair is like the gold straw which Rumpelstiltskin spun. Do not even get me started on the intoxicating allure of your melodious voice. Your celestial eyes are two oceans meeting at the Bermuda Triangle, ready to drown any unknowing man that crosses your path—much like me. I, myself, have been drowning in the sea of shining waters of those eyes since the first moment we met. Free me from your captivating spell, lest I drown in a sea of despair at the thought of your rejection. Would you do me the uttermost honor of allowing me to be your escort till the end of time? If you would allow me to court you, I would earn the trust and respect of your honorable fathers and mother (wherever she may be). I will protect you from all villains foreign and domestic, and I will fight for your honor from anyone who may dare to cause you harm or taint you. Let me be there to wipe away your every tear that may fall from your silken cheekbone. If you accept this invitation until the end of time, check yes or no. P.S., I realize I may be last place in your heart and that by choosing me, you would still want the guys in your life as well, and I am willing to accept that you may have boys on the side. I have no shame. P.P.S., my older brother, Tensei, has taught me to be an honorable young man, so I would always try to earn your respect and not be a perverted Philistine like Mineta and Denki, or a crybaby like Midoriya, or an explosive gangster like Bakugou, or an emo darkened soul like Todoroki, and I don't have a heart of stone like Kirishima, and I would never try to brainwash you like Shinsou. Nonetheless, I would run till the ends of the earth for you, and if this blessed union leads to marriage—regardless of your meme Quirk—I know our future children might be running jokes to the world, but I would love them just the same and not judge you for passing on your gene to them. Also, don't forget to check off your answer.

☐✗ ☐✓'

Tomura, who drinking from a juice box and reading the letter all along, said, "He doesn't judge you? I'm judging this guy right now."

I was confused, disgusted, and flattered at the same time. So, I took a pen and checked both of the boxes, and wrote a side note,

'Yes, I'll go on a date with you. But I'm not committing to marriage at this point.'

Tomura raised a judgmental eyebrow. "This guy is socially retarded; you can't go on a date with him."

"Coming from the Arianator living in my attic."

"Don't diss on the Queen of Pop."

I rolled my eyes. However, I thought it'd be an interesting idea to go out with Tenya! Afterall, he put so much thought into his letter—it'd be a shame to let it go to waste. . . .

So, I dialed up his number and agreed to the date! He told me about this five-star French restaurant called Poubelle. I wonder what it meant? Nonetheless, it was apparently a black-tie kind of event, and it was super hard to get reservations. Luckily, Tenya already had some? I decided not to question it.

As I brushed out my hair and placed in a fancy hair clip, Tomura approached me with his hand in a Ziplock bag full of Chex Mix crumbs. "You can't go on a date with this guy."

"And why not?" I snarked back.

"This family dynamic is already screwed up enough. I don't want Tenya to become my potential uncle if you decide to tie the knot."

"It's only the first date! Relax. I'm not making commitments," I reassured. "Besides, who gets married after the first one anyway?"

"Trump and Ivanka."

"Yeah, well, politics' relationships don't define everyone's, y'know?" I shuffled through my closet and tried to find something that looked halfway decent. But the thing was—I didn't have anything formal enough! "I'm gonna make this date a total disaster!" I cried.

Tomura assured, "Don't worry, I got you, fam. I'll find the perfect thing."

As he walked off—I wondered if letting Japan's most wanted give me fashion advice was the best option here. But I shouldn't complain—I have no one else!

He returned with some fabric scissors in hand, and a glue gun in the other. "Luckily for you, I watch a lot of 5-Minute Crafts GIRLY on YouTube. So, I have the perfect thing."

I looked up at him, a bit scared for what was coming next. "Go on. . ."

Tomura ripped my (F/C) curtain off the window, and delicately laid it across the carpet. As he smoothed it out, he began snipping through it with his pair of scissors. Surprisingly, he looked like he knew what he was doing. "The curtain is going to be your top. You'll be able to tie the loose parts of it around your neck and make it into a halter top."

"Wow, a modern version of Scarlett O'Hara's dress," I scoffed.

"Would you rather wear the rags you have in your closet?"

"Nah, just keep doing whatever you're doing."

So, he carved it into a shirt, and hemmed it together with his hot glue gun. Honestly, it looked pretty high-class.

"Alright, and for the skirt—I'm using the shower curtain since it looks glossy like an actual evening gown would. Plus, there's already an underlay for the skirt since there's double material with the shower curtain."

"Wow, makes sense."

His knowledge about fashion was incredible. I was so fortunate to have him here to help me right now.

As he pieced the cutout pieces together and formed a dress—the only thing left was a few last embellishments. When I saw the result, I was blown away from how impressive it looked. It actually seemed like a legit knockoff of something from Tiffany & Co.

"It—It looks amazing!" I gasped.

"I knew you'd like it," he rasped out. "Anyway, time to give it a bit of flare."

"Oh?"

He pulled up this mysterious Gucci hand watch from his pocket, and ever-so-casually cut the Gucci logo off it. He then hot glued it on the center of the dress's top.

"Where did you get something that expensive?" I wondered.

"I snatched it off that Bakugou brat last time I saw him."

"Okay, cool."

After everything, the time came for me to finally try it on! So, I went in the bathroom and changed into Tomura's last-minute masterpiece, and came out to show him.

"Does it look good?"

"Yeah, I need to open a shop or something because I'm so good."

I rolled my eyes. But then I asked, "Wait—what about shoes? I don't have any heels or anything! I ruined my last pair at that party."

"I got you some," he assured. "But they're really special so you need to take good care of them." He pulled these extremely expensive looking sky-high heels out of this random cedar box, and placed them in front of me. "Ariana Grande wore these for her Honeymoon tour back in August, 2015, where she performed in Chiba city. Master was kind enough to let me go after I asked him three-hundred times."

I blinked once. "Oh, well, uh—how did you get the shoes then if she was wearing them onstage?"

"I jumped her after the concert."

"Well then. Thanks for all the help, I'll be sure to try and not break my ankles in these." I placed on the six-inch platform heels and attempted to stand normally.

"Good luck, just bring the heels back the way they are."

"I promise." I smiled, now a bit nervous.

So, I waved goodbye to my fairy god-nephew.

Overall, I looked pretty hot in my new dress. No one ever had to know that I was wearing random junk scrapped together. So, I stumbled out the front door and waited for Tenya to pick me up.

After some time, this silver limo pulled up at my house, and the door automatically opened. Tenya was sitting inside, dressed in a dapper tuxedo, with sweat pouring down his face like the Niagara Falls.

"(Y-Y/N)!" he managed to speak. "Y-You look v-very gorgeous!"

"Thanks." I tried waddling my way in these ridiculous heels to his limo, and I managed to somehow sit down beside him without breaking a leg.

"Also, that dress is beauteous! Is that. . .a design from Gucci?" he presumed, fixing his glasses at the sight of the logo on my dress Tomura glued on. Part of his expression looked a bit confused, since he was probably wondering how a waif like me could afford something that expensive.

But I couldn't screw it up now. I had to act like I knew what I was talking about, and I needed to act primmer.

"Indeed. And uh, is that tuxedo you're wearing a design from. . .Faded Glory?"

He only laughed. "Faded Glory? Not a chance! I only purchase such threads from Armani."

I tried to laugh like a rich person. "Yeah—Armonkey is the best brand."

There was an awkward silence. So, I reached down and rubbed my leg from how sore it was from the death traps on my feet.

"Also, I'm not rich—so don't get the wrong idea," he chuckled. "I'm just like every other high schooler!" He then took a sip of almond milk from his crystalized Swarovski cup. But he gagged once it entered his mouth. "Uck, does this have Ruby Roman grape flavoring? I said I liked the cloudberry flavor better."

I never even heard of those two fruits before.

"Apologies, Master," his personal butler spoke, before taking the Swarovski glass and launching it out the window. We heard shattering before the limo turned the corner, and a car alarm went off in the background.

"Isn't that like, a three-thousand-dollar cup?" I asked.

"Yes, it's not that much," he brushed off.

"Alright, cool." So, I took a sip of this almond milk which was handed to me in this car earlier.

"So, now that we're boyfriend and girlfriend, I was wondering what shape you'd want for a diamond ring—"

I immediately spewed almond milk from my nose which landed on my Ariana Grande heels. Part of me was screaming from Tenya's sudden approach, and the other was screaming from what would Tomura say! Immediately, robotic arms started coming out of my side of the limo, which was giving me the Heimlich, and the other hand was dabbing my shoes with a wet wipe. I screeched, "WHAT IS THIS!?"

Tenya smiled and explained, "Ah! Our latest upgrade—courtesy of Mei Hatsume from the support class! She kindly installed 'Butler Mode' in our vehicle via robot hands!"

"Then why do you have this other butler sitting in here with us?" I asked.

"If you've ever seen Mei's inventions at work—the butler is here in case anything goes wrong with her components."

"Oh, good to know. . ."

At last, we arrived at Poubelle.

"That's such a pretty word!" I harmonized.

Tenya reached over to lift my chin with his hand so that our eyes could meet. "You are my poubelle~"

I dreamily sighed. No one's ever said anything so romantic! "Tell me, what does it mean?" I asked him.

He responded with, "I don't know, I just like the way it sounds. But I'm sure it's lovely."

So, I made a mental note to google it when I got home. For now, we headed inside. Tenya opened the door, and as I tried to go through it—he shut it before I could. Before I had a chance to react, I heard rustling in the bushes by the front door and a psst sound. I glanced over and saw that it was Denki. What was the perv doing here?

"PSST!!!" He gestured me over, and I tripped toward him, but quickly regained my balance.

"What!?" I snapped. Was he stalking me or something!?

"I came here to save you from a fate worse than death."

"And what's that?"

"Going out with Iida. You just can't fall into his trap!"

"Why does it matter to you?"

"Because look—if you go out with me, you can ditch the skyscrapers and put on something normal. And we could enjoy a cheeseburger and chillax under the stars in my dad's pickup truck. Plus, if your cellphone goes dead I'll charge it for you for free. Here, hand it to me."

So, I did. He charged it with not worry and not even any wait time! This would definitely be a perk of being in a relationship with Denki.

"I haven't been able to get you out of my mind since our kiss," he told me.

"And you wait to tell me this now when I'm standing in front of a restaurant on a date with another guy!?"

"Oh, you mean combustion boy? Has he even bothered coming out to see what happened to you? You could have been captured by a villain for all he knows!"

"Well, that is true. He didn't hold the door for me either."

So, I kicked these shoes off and before I had a chance to chuck them, Tomura's hand rose up from the nearby bushes to catch them before they hit the curb. I groaned and said, "So, you're following me too?"

"Did I honestly think you'd actually go through on a date with Tenya? Here." So, he handed me a pair of my Shrek Crocs instead. "I knew you'd be needing these."

"You really are my fairy god-nephew, aren't you?" I giggled.

Immediately, the door flung open and Tenya sped out, karate-chopping the air, and said, "What is the meaning of this!? I took the liberty of ordering your food for you—and it's on the table getting cold as we speak!"

At that moment, Denki lifted me up in his arms in a princess-carry, saying, "Hold on tight!"

As I heard Tomura cheer me on and Tenya screaming, Denki hopped off into the night with me in his arms. It was so romantic and weird.

~~~

(TIME FOR ADVERTISING LEL)
I made another Katsuki x Reader story called 'I Lived, Nerd' on my profile. It's based around a zombie apocalypse au with the Bakusquad so yes. It's random, and if that sounds interesting, I'd be happy if you checked it out!!