"Gosh, I wonder why Deku turned into a villain. . ." I questioned, starting up a conversation with Hitoshi.

"I guess he figured you liked bad boys."

"Whaaaa? How could I be into bad boys?"

"Well, you're always hanging around a guy who sags his pants and bullies nerds. And then me, someone who can brainwash people and I'm really emo."

"How could Katsuki be a bad boy? He goes to bed at eight-thirty!" I defended. "And it's not like I chose to get lost with the basket case!"

"Hey, this trash bag is really heavy."

"Don't call Katsuki names."

"NO, I MEANT THE ACTUAL TRASH BAG."

"Still, it sounded rude. But Denki is actually really light. I'm not even breaking a sweat!" I giggled.

And the reason Denki was so lightweight—was because he wasn't on the trash bag anymore. He was gone. Hitoshi looked over at me with an unimpressed look on his face.

"You lost him."

When I scanned around, I saw that Denki had rolled down the hill on accident. He was face-flat in a mud puddle.

"Oh, just stuff him in the trash bag or something," Hitoshi advised. "It's not like much oxygen gets to his brain anyway."

So, I just grabbed Denki by his ankle and dragged him along for now. His head thumped on the concrete repeatedly, and every once in a while, I got static electricity if we walked near anything wet. However, it was fine for now.

"I think Katsuki is starting to wake up!" I smiled.

"Oh no, get a branch and whack him in the head before he does."

"HITOSHI, NO."

Katsuki blinked open his eyes and stirred awake before questioning, "Why am I being dragged across the pavement on a trash bag by a loser from Class 1-C?"

Hitoshi blankly answered, "We were taking you to the volcano for a sacrifice."

I facepalmed once again. "No, you went unconscious and we had to carry you with us!"

"Now get up and use your own legs." Hitoshi slid the bag from underneath his feet and caused Katsuki to tumble over.

"YOU PURPLE-HAIRED FREAK. I'LL BEAT YOU WITH MY AIRPODS IF YOU DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT AGA—"

"Guys!" I interjected. "It's super late. Should we get something to eat for the night?"

"What's even open?" Hitoshi challenged.

As we searched around the area, something disturbing caught my eye. It was a set of wrinkled clothes just lying on the sidewalk.

"What the heck?" Katsuki investigated it by touching it with his shoe. "Who the chiz left their clothes here??"

"HI!" shouted a voice from. . .underneath us?

The three of us stared down and saw none other than. . .a face popping out of the ground. It had the biggest smile plastered across it, and beady blue eyes that just scrutinized the depths of your soul. The face never once changed its creepy expression.

"I'M MIRIO THE HERIO—AND I AM HERE TO LOOK FOR ANY DAMSEL WHO NEEDS MY PROTECTION!"

"YOU'RE LOOKING UP (Y/N)'S SKIRT, EHHHH???? WELL, NOT ON MY WATCH, FLOOR-FACE!!" Katsuki immediately began stomping on this Mirio with his boot, which caused the guy to scream like a baby chipmunk.

"NO!! I WOULD NEVER LOOK UP ANY DAMSEL'S SKIRT BECAUSE I AM NONEOTHER THAN. . .MIRIO THE HERIO!!!" Mirio rose up from the pavement with a heroic pose and. . .NO CLOTHES ON????

I LET OUT A SOUL-RIPPING SCREAM AS MY BRAIN MELTED INTO NOTHINGNESS. NEVER IN MY LIFE, HAD I EVER BEEN MORE TRAUMATIZED THAN I AM NOW.

"DUDE, WOT IN TARNATION!?!?" Hitoshi screeched as he took me in his arms and shielded my eyes.

"DIE, PERV, DIEEEEE!!!!!!!!" Katsuki threw explosions at this stranger and attempted to scare him away. But Mirio didn't fall for it. Instead, he grabbed one of the trash bags and put it on so there was at least some sense of modesty.

"Oh, golly! I apologize for that, friends! Can't help it with my Quirk, ya know? Hahee!"

I was forever scarred, and even comfort from hot boys wouldn't save me now.

"WHY WERE YOU CHILLIN' INSIDE THE SIDEWALK WITH NO CLOTHES ON!?" Katsuki roared.

"I was waiting for someone who required my assistance!"

The print of Katsuki's boot was stamped against Mirio's face—which made it kind of hard for me to focus on anything he was saying. Plus, he was wearing a trash bag for shorts, I mean, come on.

"Well, friends. I happened to notice you were lost, so I figured I must help out!"

"You helped scarring us for life," remarked Hitoshi.

Katsuki gritted his teeth. "And stop calling us your friends, I'm not David Schwimmer."

"Oh! That's my favorite show! Say, want to crack open a Kool-Aid and watch it with me sometime?" Mirio suggested, not even noticing the sarcasm.

"The only thing I want to watch is you get sent to prison," Hitoshi snarked back.

Mirio let out a chuckle. "Anyway, you're all from U.A., right?"

"Wait, you go there?" I wondered.

"Yup! I'm in The Big 3!"

"Big three what? Biggest losers?" Katsuki mocked.

"Nope! We're the most powerful students in the school!"

"I'm not believing a guy in a trash bag with Trump hair is considered powerful."

Mirio once again laughed. "You guys are hilarious! I can see we're gonna be great friends!"

I instantly grouped Katsuki and Hitoshi in our own little whispering circle, saying, "Okay, this guy is seriously creepy. How do we get away from him?"

"Hitoshi, you hold him while I explode his face off, and (Y/N)—you buy us nachos."

"STOP TALKING ABOUT FOOD. I'VE BEEN STARVING FOR HOURS!" I snapped without warning.

"You fellas alright over there?" Mirio asked with a grin as wide as a semitruck.

"No, we're hungry and tired," Hitoshi told him. "We've been walking all day long and we're lost."

"Gee, really? Well, I'd be more than happy to help out! Especially a damsel in distress~" He sent a wink our way—well, more specifically MY way. This was so uncomfortable.

After that, we headed down the block, following Mirio toward the nearest train station. It was quite a walk, so we were all sleepy. I was falling behind the group, but Mirio walked beside me and supported me with one arm.

"You know, I have a confession!" he laughed out, blushing.

"What?"

"I've had a crush on you ever since the first day you came in U.A. I heard of your amazing Quirk, and all of the guys were talking about you. Sometimes at night, I watch you through the wall of your house when you're sleeping!"

I stopped. Turning my head to him, I said, "Wait. That's illegal."

"No! Not in a creepy way, I'm just making sure you're safe!"

"Just stop."

". . .So, do you like me back?" he asked.

Before I could respond, a voice from the wilderness screamed, "BACK AWAY IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU!"

When we all turned to the speaker, we saw that it was Shouto. How did he get here? He was at the edge of the forest, grass and dirt poking out of his hair. And his hair wasn't perfectly parted, so there were red and white strands flying all over the place. Also, his clothes looked worn out, like he'd been sleeping with the hobos for a week.

"Shouto!" I called out. "What happened to you?"

"A portal dropped me near a cave full of bears—and I had to hike through the woods to get here. It took all day." He then squinted his eyes at Mirio. "Who's he?"

"I don't know, he watches me when I sleep or something."

Mirio smirked, which didn't look like a good thing. "I know you're just a bunch of hopeless Boy Scouts trying to win (Y/N) over—but now you're dealing with a man."

Katsuki scoffed, "Yeah, right."

I countered, "Soo, where's the man?"

Mirio declared, "There's only one way to settle this. A DUEL FOR (Y/N)'S HAND!"

Katsuki, Shouto, and Hitoshi looked at each other and nodded. "Then a duel it is."

This was probably a horrible idea, but so was going to U.A. so let's do this thing. Honestly, I wondered why they all liked me so much anyway. What was so special about me? Just because I was the most OP human being in the history of human beings, didn't mean I was that rare of a catch.

So, we went into a dark alleyway and decided that it was a good place to hold the duel.

"Is this like, to the death or something?" I asked, a bit worried.

"I don't know, I'm just gonna eat bricks if I lose this," said Denki.

"Yum."

Katsuki strutted up to me and said, "Don't worry, I'll win this."

Mirio turned to us in his trash bag shorts and assured, "Nope! It'll be me! Prepare for one Hot Pocket of a fight, (Y/N)!"

I grabbed Katsuki by the shoulders and desperately said, "Look, I don't care who wins—JUST DON'T LET THAT GUY WIN."

"I won't lose to a guy in trash pants."

So, the duel was seconds away from beginning. I was terrified as Katsuki, Shouto, Denki, Hitoshi, and Mirio all stood in one circle—facing off each other like a bunch of unfriendly poodles.

And just before they lunged at each other, this grungy piece of trash that looked like he escaped from Azkaban, walked up to us and said, "Hey, someone left their All Might sweatpants in my part of the hood. Ya boy Stain don't like sweatpants with All Might's face on them."

At this point, I didn't know whether to laugh or fear for my life.

Mirio went red with embarrassment. "I uh, I've never seen those before in my life."

Stain said, "The name 'Mirio' is monogrammed on the inside tag—anyone here named Mirio?"

So, it was time for us to leave this city. We had seen too much. Plus, we haven't eaten or slept since yesterday.