Suddenly, I felt this man hand touch my face. And immediately, my main meme man, Boromir, popped out and started whacking the greasy boy with a club, while saying, "ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY TOUCH MY PRECIOUS!!!!" as he started ripping the hand accessories off him.

The hand-man made deranged noises before saying, "TIME TO NOT FEEL SO GOOD." With that being said, he placed his palm on Boromir—but nothing happened. I heard a gasp from my nephew. . .?

So, this stranger pathetically gave up and sat down, crying the word, "Father." He picked up the fallen hand and placed it back on his face—which was in desperate need of lotion.

As he started scratching his neck, I sat down beside him and handed him one of his hands. He took it but threw it on the ground, like he had accepted defeat or something.

So, I looked over at this dude. "Hey, are you okay?" I asked.

"Naw."

"Well uh—what's your name?"

"Tomura Shigaraki."

He was quite antisocial. So, I asked, "Well. . .what did you mean by saying I'm your aunt?"

He casually explained, "You see, two Quirkless wannabes—All Might and my grandmother, Nana Shimura (aka his mentor)—fell in love and got married. But since both of them have fake Quirks, my doomed Quirk was a result of all that bad blood. Yes, I like Taylor Swift too. Anyway—when I accidentally killed my nana, my grandpa, No Might, went into crippling depression and fled to North Korea to hide from me so I wouldn't touch him. And guess what—the piece of trash left me in the street, and got together with some chick in North Korea—YOUR MOM."

At that point, I interrupted and said, "Wow, he left me in the trash too! This has to be legit then."

Tomura turned to me. "Wait, really?"

I placed a hand on his shoulder and related. "Yup."

"Anyway, so—my dad is your half-brother. Which makes me your half-nephew."

I couldn't believe it.

"So, how old are you again?" I asked.

"Twenty. I was five when gramps, aka No Might, left—and six when you were born."

"Yeah, I'm fourteen so this has to be true!" I threw my arms around him and gave him a big aunt and nephew hug. "I can't believe it! So, does this explain why my Quirk is memes?"

"Yeah, you only inherited half of the fake Quirk. So, your body rejected the fake All For One Quirk, causing you to make memes or some chiz. But both my grandparents had the fake junk."

"Don't you mean One For All?"

"No, I mean All For One. Because he adopted me and that's my real dad now."

"Sooooo, I'm related to All For One too?"

"Yeah, he's your step-half-brother."

I couldn't help but grin. I had a new family!!

Boromir, who was still taking all this in, said, "One Quirk to rule them all. One Quirk to find them. One Quirk to bring them all and in the darkness bind them."

"Boromir, go home."

So, he left.

Then I turned to my nephew, Tomura. "Wow, maybe you could enroll in U.A. High School! We could be besties!"

"Okay."

After that, I headed back to Katsuki's house. I brought Tomura with me, so I could introduce him to them.

"Wait—he's your WHAT!?" Denki gasped.

"Yup! I'm Tomura's aunt, and All Might is his grandfather, and All For One is my step-half-brother."

"By adoption," added Tomura.

"Has anyone forgotten the fact that if he touches one of us, we turn to dust?" reminded Tenya. "That makes him a villain!!"

Mina sighed, "No~ that just makes him misunderstood. He's so complicated!"

Momo summoned a pair of gloves and handed them to Tomura. "Here, the gloves will help."

She placed the gloves over his hands and said, "Repeat after me. Conceal."

"Conceal."

"Don't feel."

"Don't feel."

In unison, they finished, "Don't let it show."

"Yeah, let's see how good that worked out for Elsa," said Eijiro.

Tomura said to everyone, "I'm not a villain, y'all."

Ochako grinned. "OMG, WE SHOULD TOTALLY GIVE HIM A MAKEOVER!!"

"Then everyone will trust him!" Tsu said.

All the girls and I started squealing, and pulling out all our makeup supplies. The boys in the group were groaning, and wondering how this hand-man was getting all the attention.

"Alright, Tomura! Sit down!" giggled Toru.

Someone conveniently brought out a salon chair, and placed it in front of the bathroom mirror. Tomura sat down in it, and we all gathered around.

"I've never had a makeover before."

"We can tell~"

Mina chucked his hand off his face, along with the rest, and stored them in a nice container.

"FaThEr—"

"It's okay! He's just gonna stay there for a bit," Mina gleefully informed.

"Alright, what's first?" I wondered.

Mina looked at his. . .dried out skin. "Well, the boy needs half a tub of moisturizer to soak in for a while."

So, Momo pulled out a hologram unicorn face mask, and some refreshing cucumbers. "He's gonna need a mud bath, with a loofah sponge."

"I haven't bathed in years."

So, we got Eijiro to bring out a big bucket of mud from the backyard, and bring it inside. Katsuki was screaming because we were ruining his house, but whatever.

"Just ignore the bugs," Ochako told him.

Tomura got in the mud bath, still wearing his clothes and sneakers.

"It's okay, we'll get you new clothes afterward. We're burning the old ones."

Tenya said, "ALL MIGHT WILL BE FURIOUS WHEN HE FINDS OUT ABOUT THIS!"

"You mean that deadbeat who left his family?" Tomura rasped. "He'll be on his FACE begging FORGIVENESS when I see him." The cucumbers on his eyes and the pastel face mask made him look even more intimidating.

I brought out a bottle of Thanos shampoo. It was grape-scented. "Alright, Tomura! Time to fluff up that hair of yours!"

"What if he's related to Thanos since they have the same power? Dusting people up?" Izuku whispered to Tenya.

Tenya snarked back, "Idiot, that's obviously fiction. He's a movie character. We're real. He's not. WE'RE NOT FICTION!!!!"

I squeezed the last drop of shampoo in Tomura's scraggly hair. Right now, I was mixing it all in with coconut oil, and Crisco lard—to get the tangles out.

"You know, Stan Lee interviewed me to get ideas for Thanos' character," Denki boasted. "He seriously modeled Thanos after Tomura. And then he modeled Thor after me."

Fumikage countered, "So, you're sparkles?"

Denki slithered out the window and left.

"Get your diseased liar self out of my house." Katsuki told him on the way out.

Finally, we fixed up Tomura. When he was done with all the beauty care, he rose up and flicked his L'Oréal wavy locks and shook his head Prince Charming-style. I swear, I could hear harps in the background strumming the Shrek theme song.

"Ew," Katsuki expressed.

"Wow, fluffy just like the American hair!!"

Tomura's now moisturized face glowed. He looked like a makeup model for Covergirl.

"Why is this happening?" asked Katsuki.

After we gave Tomura a Barbie dream makeover, the party ended. Katsuki couldn't take us anymore.

"Alright, bye guys!!" I waved off. They all did the same.

"It was real fun, Bakugou! Can't wait for the next one," Eijiro laughed.

"Same~"

Katsuki groaned before going back in his house to cry.

So, I walked home with my nephew, Tomura. He actually looked like a pretty decent human being.

But of course, this was all a distraction from the fact I had about six more guys to kiss. I needed to get more serious about finding my soulmate!