-chapter one-hundred-nine-
____________________

SOLACE

"Reverie. I'm sure your father is very proud of how much you've grown."

"SOL, AYOS ka lang ba?"

Napabaling ako kay Feyre na nag-aalalang nakatingin sa'kin. Binigyan ko siya ng isang mahinang ngiti at tumango. Hindi siya kumbinsido doon but thankfully, she didn't ask anymore questions. I don't think I'd be able to give him a worded answer.

Maingay at walang tabas ang dila ni Feyre, but she perfectly know how to handle a serious situation. After all, she's an adult. May pagkabata nga lang sa puso.

She shows it again when we rejoined the group. Awtomatikong napalingon sa'min ang mga kasama namin. Sinenyasan niya ang mga itong hindi magtanong, lalo na't dahil may bumukas na ng bibig. They all gave me worried glances but decided to follow Feyre's order.

"Voldmir," tawag ni Feyre. "Malapit lang ba dito ang City of Ghosts?"

Voldmir hangs out in the city dahil doon niya nat-train si Cerberus. The three-headed dog is very hard to tame and usually goes on a rampage. Kaya to prevent any casualties, doon siya sa abandoned city nagpapalakas. We also visited that city in the Game of Governor's event. Sa pagkakatanda ko, doon naganap ang preliminaries. That was also where Oddcredibles first appeared.

"Hm. Usually it would take about an hour and thirty minutes of travel, kasi dadaan pa tayo sa City of Stars. Pero pwede na lang nating gamitin ang shortcut." sagot ni Voldmir at itinuro ang isang arched gate hindi malayo sa'min. "We can use the Elves Path. We just have to be alert, maraming illusions and magical creatures na nandito."

Astro thinks it over for a bit. Sumulyap siya sa'kin, para siguro kunin ang desisyon ko. I nodded. If it's a path that will make our travel quick, then what else but to choose it? It would be better if we finish this quest by today. Dahil may hindi maganda ang pakiramdam ko sa mangyayari bukas.

"Alright." Astro agrees. "We have to stick close to each other. Hindi natin alam ang pwedeng mangyari sa'tin diyan. Where will it lead us? In the front gate of the city?"

Umiling si Voldmir. "The Elves Path and the Forest of Memories are connected. May high possibility na doon tayo mapupunta, so we have to brace ourselves. It's one of the dangerous forest after South Continent's Death Isle and Northern Continent's Dragon's Garden."

Sumunod ako sa kanila papasok dito. The Elves Path is very beautiful, with bushes in the sidewalks and vines hanging with blooming flowers. It perfectly compliments the weather. Pinanood ko sina Minerva at Priamos na sayang-saya sa nakikita. Humihinto-hinto sila para tingnan ang mga bulaklak. Vesta follows behind them to make sure that they don't eat it. Mahirap na at baka poisonous ang mga plants dito.

Hex and Feyre are talking in hush voices. At kahit na mature si Feyre pag-gugustuhin, she sucks at keeping secrets, kaya nalaman kong ako ang pinag-uusapan dahil sa pasulyap-sulyap niya. Halcyon joins their gossips, nodding at times. Isa din 'tong hindi marunong maging subtle kasi tinititigan niya na talaga ako.

Medyo na disappoint pa ako nang makita si Astro na nakikinig din sa kanila. Aba, pasimple lang ang paglapit niya sa tatlo. Hindi nga siya tumitingin sa banda ko pero ang lapit naman ng tainga niya sa chismisan nina Feyre.

I sighed. I didn't mean to worry them, but I can't help the strange feeling inside me. Hindi ko din alam kung bakit biglang bumuhos ang luha ko nang marinig ang boses na 'yon. It just... hurts. Na parang may nagpaalam sakin na isang importanteng tao, but my heart won't believe that it's that certain person who bid their goodbye. My heart wants to ignore it. My heart chooses to ignore it.

Bakit ba parang nagpaalam na sa'kin si Papa doon? It's so unfair if that was the case. Na aalis lang siya nang hindi man lang nagpapakita. I just recently found out the truth and now the universe wants to deny me of my father.

Mga ilang minuto na din ata kaming naglalakad nang tumigil at binuksan ang friend list. Hinanap ko ang pangalan ni River doon at tinawagan. I want to talk to him. I have a really bad feeling. At lumakas lang 'yon nang mabilis na i-accept ni River ang tawag. When his loud exhale came a bit shaky, agad kong nalaman na umiyak siya.

"Iv? Iv?!" sigaw ko. "What happened? Why are you crying?"

"P-Pa-"

Mas lalo akong kinabahan. Please let it be pamalo o panghugas pinggan. Huwag lang iniisip kong salita.

"Pa-? Iv, what's wrong?"

Narinig ko ang pagkuha niya ng malalim na hininga. I can also faintly hear Irusu helping him calm down.

"Ev, I heard Papa." natigilan ako. "I don't know how did it but he talked to me. Sinabi niyang huwag na lang natin siyang hanapin dahil... dahil matagal na siyang wala sa mundo."

I stared blankly at the air for a few seconds. Ayaw pang magsink-in ng sinabi niya sa'kin. A strange laugh comes out my mouth.

"A-Anong pinagsasabi mo, Iv? Did you perhaps hit your head?" napakurap-kurap ako dahil parang napuwing ang mata. "That's not a good joke."

"I'm not joking." he says seriously. "I heard someone talked to me and told me he's not coming back anymore. Because- Because he's stuck in here. Like Alas."

"Like Alas." ulit ko.

"Hindi ito kagaya kay Hiraeth who is just playing, Ev. This is moving themselves to live inside the game." paliwanag niya. "When the game dies, they do too."

What bullshit is that?

"You know," mahina siyang tumawa. "It's actually strange. His voice is kinda similar to that demon wannabe. Iisa lang din ang pilit nilang sinasabi."

To stop looking for him. Is that why Aegnus didn't help? Because he knows that there's no one to help at all. Because they're already in their doom.

Hinayaan kong umagos ang luha at tumingin sa langit. "He's not a demon-wannabe. He's the demon king, tanga."

Natahimik siya ng ilang sandali. Then he hums. "That makes sense. A king of humans and a king of demons."

Napahikbi ako. "Yeah."

We stayed silent the whole time before we decided to drop the call. River and I will cope up in our own ways. Napakaweird din na parang deep down we've always known it's only the two of us. Our mother has long departed, and our father has never came home.

I would usually wait for him in Christmas and New Years because it's a holiday you spend with your family, right? Over time, I got used to the empty presence. To the disappointment of a man never walking inside our home.

At kahit gusto kong magalit kay River dahil sa pagtago niya nito, I'm sure he's very hurt right now. For he has been protecting me from the truth and trying to save the family all on his own, only to meet this ending. I'm very certain he's the most defeated one.

Gusto ko ding magalit kay Papa. Because, how dare he? Kumuyom ang kamao ko. Why can't he tell us what happened face to face? Bakit kailangan niya pang magdrama at gamitin ang boses na 'yon to bid his farewell?

Don't we deserve his explanation and presence for the years that we've lost? Kung siya talaga ang demon king na 'yan, I'm going to tackle him!

And maybe tell him I love him after all those years. At least- At least, if it's the last time, the three of us are together.

Pero, higit sa lahat, ay ang nagbabaga kong galit kay Alas. My mind says to understand him. To know why the hell is he so adamant in making such a world filled with hell? Ano ba ang gusto niyang mangyari?

My mind says to understand him and know the story, but my heart is too troubled, too lost, and too hurt that it only wants to kill him.

Biglang gumalaw ang scabbard na nasa likuran ko. I can feel the golden sword activating. It can always feel my desires and reacts against it. Kapag nakikipaglaban ako at nagiging excited o kapag sobrang galit ako. Like that one time I lost control in the City of Ghosts and destroyed about half of the place.

I made up my mind. Whatever happens, I'll make sure to kill him.

Isang malakas na ingay ang kumuha sa atensiyon ko. Still in my angry-hazed mind, iniangat ko ang tingin para malaman kung ano na naman ang ginawa ni Feyre. But, there was no Feyre anymore. Wala na ang mga kasama ko.

Only a humungous bird with a sharp beak and wide eyes that stares down at me. It screeched again, and hop closer. Dahan-dahan kong kinuha ang espada sa likod. Flames of gold color already covers the blade. Doon napatingin ang ibon.

The sword must have exuded a dangerous aura because the bird decides to immediately attack me. The earth moves at its every step.

Isang atras palikod at hinanda ko ang espada. When the bird aims its beak at me, I slashed my sword upwards. Mas lalong nanlaki ang mata nito nang nahati ang katawan. Nahulog ang mga rewards sa lupa.

"Don't fucking get in my way."

I have to kill that mad king.

I passed the loot. Awtomatiko na lang itong pumasok sa bag ko. Feyre and the others are already gone. I don't think they left me alone, it's more like the forest separated us. Kung gano'n, this might not be the Elves Path but the forest to the Hadea Cliffs.

Ang sabi ni Aegnus ay kung alam mo kung ano ang gusto ng puso, idadala ka nito dito. A clear heart also means a clear destination. If not, you'll always be lost in the forest.

What do I want? What do I desire?

I want to go and find the Hadea Cliffs, para makuha ko na ang huling kailangan. I want to go and find Hiraeth. I want to see him. I want to kill Alas. I want to kill the king.

Muling umapoy ang galit sa dibdib ko nang maalala ang ginawa niya para lamang sa pesteng laro na ito. Has he not thought of the people who would play the game? The families that awaits for them? The dreams they aspire and the life they have to keep?

Nagpatuloy ang diretso kong paglalakad. Iba't-ibang gusto ang pumapasok sa isip ko. Nang makita ko ang isang higanteng kahoy ay hininaan ko ang paglalakad. The path ends in that tree. Does it mean something or am I going change directions?

Nagulat ako nang mas lalong nagliwanag ang espada. The flames are brighter and stronger that it even burns the leaves it passes. Ang siyang paglakas nito ay ang pagbuhos ng kakaibang pwersa sa katawan ko. It was a whipslash of strength. I gasped at the sudden feeling.

In my hazy state, all I could think of is killing the king.

Tumigil ako sa harap ng kahoy. The flames dances in a vigorous tone. My hair sways along with the wind. Nagtama ang tingin namin ng lalaking nakaupo sa ilalim ng kahoy. His set of cards is placed beside him. His hair is once again tied up.

"Elf."

I don't... quite recognize him. But there's something in him that makes me want to kill him.

Tumayo siya kaya inihanda ko ang espada paharap sa kaniya. He stops and looks at me in slight disbelief.

"Elf, is everything alright?"

"Kill the king." the forest whispers. "You must kill the king. It is what you want the most."

I slashed the sword towards the man. Mabilis siyang tumalon palayo doon. The tree cuts in two and the upper half falls from the cliff.

"Elf." may kaunting inis na sa tono ng lalaki. "What the fuck are you doing?"

I glared at him. What am I doing? I'm only getting revenge for putting my father in such a fate and for imprisoning Hiraeth inside this game. I promise I'm going to kill you.

The sword flares up once again. Napatingin dito ang lalaki at pabalik sa mukha ko. He sighs.

"Ah, damn. I leave you for a while and you go on a rampage." kumunot ang noo ko sa pinagsasabi niya. "Where's that cute elf who keeps on getting lost without me? Bring him back."

Ano ba ang pinagsasabi niya? Why is he casually talking to me like he knows me for so long?

"That's the king who killed your father. That's the man who chained your Hiraeth." the wind orders, the forest agrees. "Kill him, slayer."

I gripped my sword tighter and ran to attack him. I slashed my sword and he deflected it with his cards. Ngunit nahiwa lamang ang baraha niyo. He's quick to raise up another and another.

Galit akong tumingin sa kaniya. Muli sana akong aatake nang hindi na ako makagalaw sa kinatatayuan. A blue box is now caging me. Hinampas ko ang kamay dito.

"Please stay there for a while. I can't keep up with you." halata na ang pagod sa mukha niya. "What is happening? Why is she going rogue?"

I frowned. Who is he talking to? Wala namang ibang tao dito kundi kaming dalawa lang. Is he... Is he truly that mad?

I tried to kick down the cage but it won't budge. Naiinis na ako!

"It's probably the sword."

Isang panibagong boses ang narinig ko. Who said that? It makes me want to rage more. Isang nakakainis na gintong buhok at mata ang pumapasok sa isipan ko.

"What's with the sword?"

I swung my sword on the cage. Inulit-ulit ko ito hanggang sa magcrack ito at mawala. Mabilis na napalingon sa'kin ang lalaki. Humanda ako para atakehin siya pero may nangyari na naman. A fox comes out from nowhere and starts to distract me by blowing fires.

"The story of Arth Online. The rightful hero must kill the greedy king and they need the sword to fulfill it."

"But aren't you the greedy king and that's your sword?"

Bakit ba ang hirap makalusot sa fox na 'to?! I need to kill him!

"The first dream was the story. I'm the hero, dimwit. But your father went nuts and discarded the story along with the sword. Kaya namin gustong makuha ang espada, dahil hindi namin alam kung nasaan talaga 'to."

I bumped the hilt of the sword to the fox's head. Nahulog ito sa lupa. Binalingan ko ang lalaki na nakatayo lang at nakatitig sa'kin. Is that worry I see in his eyes?

Napailing ako. Why would the king worry about you, Solace?

"What should I do?" tanong ng lalaki sa hangin.

"Frankly, I don't care what happens. I'll be gone either way. And if she kills you then, that's good. Iyon din naman ang goal ko."

The man cusses and looks at me. Huminga ito ng malalim at binigyan ako ng isang seryosong tingin. Binitawan niya ang hawak na baraha. Kumunot ang noo ko, ngunit itinaas ko pa rin ang espada.

"Elf." tawag niya ulit. "What happened?"

I staggered as I walk closer to him. My ears are filled with the forest's whisper to kill and kill and fulfill my desires. But there's something in his eyes that makes me hesitate.

"I..." I exhaled. "have to kill the king."

"That's right~"

Ini-angat ko ang tingin sa lalaki. He's only staring at me, unmoving and unarmed. Mabilis akong tumakbo papunta sa kaniya.

I jumped and swung my blade straight into his throat.

____________________
-chapter end-

[NEXT CHAPTER PREVIEW]:

"Hiraeth, I'm sorry."

____________________

walo.