This is actually how I visualize Hiraeth. Long-haired boyy. Hanggang sa may dibdib niya na 'yan pag di nakatali.

-chapter one-hundred-six-
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SOLACE

"Slayer, is that you?"

NATIGILAN AKO sa tanong. I turned around to see a boy standing behind me, brows furrowed in confusion. Nanlaki ang mata ko. Paano niya ako nakilala?

At sino siya?

His black hair with white stripes is tousled. His white uniform shirt is rolled to his shoulders. Nakasungkit sa kaliwang balikat niya ang strap ng backpack at may hawak-hawak siyang safety gloves at electric drill.

I blinked once. Twice. "I'm sorry, you must have gotten the wrong person."

I can't associate his face with anyone I know in game. Sino kaya ito? At paano niya napamilyaran ang itsura ko bilang slayer? Ugh. Mula kahapon pa ako minamalas.

Nanatili ang titig niya sa'kin pero hindi na siya sumagot. I awkwardly shifted my eyes from him to the wrench shelves. Natapos na ako sa pagpili at nakatayo pa rin siya doon at nakatitig sa'kin.

Now, I'm suffering! Sino ka ba?!

Sinulyapan ko siya. Nakahilig siya sa isang shelf at nakahalukipkip. I sighed and was about to turn away when he speaks again.

"I'm not mistaken. You're the slayer."

Ngumiti ako. "Ano po 'yong slayer?"

Tumayo siya ng tuwid at inilagay ang isang kamay sa bulsa. He mocks his head, "You look exactly like Solace. Ang pagkakaiba lang ay ang buhok mo at na wala kang elf ears. Still, I know you're her."

Kumunot ang noo ko. Ang Oddcredibles lang talaga o di kaya sina River, Rase, Ace at Irusu ang nakakanotice, since they're beside me all the time or with me the longest. He's not part of our guild at hindi ko din siya kilala personally. So if he knows me in game, he knows me since I was in Gaea?

"I see. You don't recognize me?" the corner of his lips slightly twitches upwards. "Was our battle in the finals really that boring?"

Nalaglag ang panga ko. "Astro?"

What is he doing here? At talaga bang dito lang siya banda nakatira? This is so weird. Meeting someone you know in game without prior notice.

"Took you long enough." kinuha niya ang mga dala ko. "What do you need with these? May kinalaman ba 'to sa pagkawala mo sa game?"

Ngumiwi ako. Of course, they'll find it weird since I'm almost always online. I wonder how the Oddcredibles are doing now.

Nauna akong naglakad papunta sa counter. "Mm. Something happened and the virtual gear broke. As well as the game chip."

Tumango siya. Dumaan ang katahimikan sa'min habang hinihintay namin ang pagcheck out ng items.

"Iisahin lang po ba?" tanong ng cashier. He looks like a highschool student.

Umiling ako at pinagiba ang items ko at kay Astro. "Unahin mo na lang sa kaniya."

"Sige po."

The shop falls into silence once again. Tanging ang pagpindot lang at ang huni ng aircon ang nagiingay. Inilagay ko ang pera sa counter at nakangiting kinuha ang bag. I bid the cashier a goodbye before exiting the store.

Si Astro na naunang lumabas ay nando'n pa rin pala. He's leaning on a wall while playing on his phone. Nang marinig niyang bumukas ang pintuan ng shop ay tumuwid siya ng tayo. Ano pa ba ang ginagawa ng lalaking 'to?

"Ba't di ka pa umalis?"

Huminto siya sa harap ko. "Where are you going to get the game chip? Won't you actually lose your whole account because the company will lend you another one?"

I stepped sideways to pass by him. Nagsimula akong maglakad papunta sa bus stop. Astro follows me. He's so persistent.

"May kilala ako sa Life company. Tatanungin ko siya kung pwedeng magspare ng game chip then insert my account...?" hindi sigurado kong sagot.

"You know someone there?"

Tumango ako. "Ang anak ng may-ari."

Natigilan siya. Kunot-noo din akong tumigil at bumaling sa kaniya. His face is very unreadable. Mula sa game hanggang dito, ang hirap niya talagang basahin.

"Hm." tanging sagot niya lang at binigay sa'kin ang pinamili niya. "Wait there. I'll get my car."

Nakaawang ang labi ko nang tuluyan siyang umalis, taking a key out of his pocket. Huminga ako ng malalim at inilipat ang tingin sa dumadaang kotse. What a very weird person. Hindi ba't he's hated me from the very start? Pero bakit parang mula sa Lunaria quest ay tinutulungan niya na ako?

A black BMW stops in front of me. The front seat door opens and Astro gestures me to come inside. Nag-aalinlangan akong pumasok sa kotse. Kinuha niya ang mga pinamili mula sa'kin at inilagay sa backseat habang isinu-suot ko ang seatbelt.

"Wala ka bang gagawin? You don't need to drive me to the company." tugon ko.

Astro starts the car. "I'm free."

Tahimik ang kotse habang nagmamaneho si Astro. Pinaglaro ko ang mga daliri habang nakatitig sa labas. Astro glances at me from time to time. The silence is a bit awkward as it is also comforting.

On one particular sharp turn, I decided to introduce myself. "I'm Reverie. You can call me Rev."

He glances at me sideways before cleanly stopping the car. Wow, nadeadma ako. Napatingin ako sa labas. Nandito na pala kami sa kompanya.

"We can just leave the items in the car." aniya nang akma kong kukunin ang pinamili.

My hand stops. Tinitigan ko siya at nagcommunicate doon na 'paano kung uuwi na ako, you drove me here already, umalis ka na.'

He answers by opening his own door. Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay. "Keep it there. Sasamahan kita sa loob then I'll just drive you home."

Umiling-iling ako. "There's no need to do that! Pwede lang akong magcommu-"

Sinara niya ang pintuan.

"Ano ba ang problema ng lalaking 'yon."  bulong ko at sinamaan siya ng tingin sa labas.

Astro's just standing in the sidewalk like he can stay there for hours. Bumuntong-hinga ako at binitawan ang pinamili. I opened the car and stepped out. He looks at me before walking towards the building entrance.

"Ang weird na makita kang mabait."

Astro lets me in first. "I'm not being good to you. Ayoko lang mawalan ng worth it na rival."

Sinimangutan ko siya. What kind of reasoning is that? Nahihiya ba siyang sabihin na mabuti siyang tao? Baka isa siya sa sinasabi ni Priamos na tsundere. The kid always describe Feyre as one.

Hindi ko na lang pinansin si Astro. I walked to the front desk and asked if I can go to the main office dahil may kakausapin lang ako. I left them my name para mapayagan. Cord has already given me permission.

Mabuti lang at walang ibang tao na sumabay sa'min sa elevator. Nasa magkabilang side kami nakatayo ni Astro.

"I'm Reasvel. But if you're more comfortable with my IGN, call me that." sabi niya habang nakatitig sa floor numbers.

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Ang layo naman niyan sa Astro."

"I like the name. King of the stars."

Gano'n. Well, people are different in picking their IGN's, I guess. Ako pinili ko lang rin ang pangalan ko dahil sa sinabi ni Papa noon. He always tell me be a comforting presence to other people. A form of solace.

The elevator door opens. May isa pang information desk sa top floor. It's the only lively thing because the rest are dark-tinted offices. Lumapit ako sa babaeng nakaupo doon.

"Good afternoon, Miss. I'm Reverie Greene. Can I talk to Aurelius Von Caspar? We have something important to discuss." ngumiti ako.

"Ah. I'm terribly sorry, Miss Greene, pero wala po dito ngayon si Sir Aurelius."

Oh. Cord is not here, too? Ano kaya ang ginagawa ng lalaking 'yon?

"What about Ais-Aschella? Nandito ba siya?"

Malungkot itong ngumiti. "Miss Aschella is attending an out-of-town business tri-"

"Who's looking for my daughter, Trina?"

Napalingon kami sa bagong-dating. Isang lalaki na mukhang nasa midforties na ang nagpakita. He's wearing a neatly-ironed suit at may hawak-hawak siyang cellphone. He looks stoic, stern and has the same features as the two Von Caspars I know. Ang daddy ni Aisling?

Trina slightly bows her head as a greeting. "Good afternoon, Mr. President. Miss Greene is looking for Sir Aurelius and Miss Aschella."

"Miss Greene, you say?" tanong ng presidente.

Tumango ako.

The president hands some papers to Trina. "Deliver this papers to the vice-chairman. I need it for tomorrow." he sighs. "Quantra is becoming active because of our 'failure' in fixing the glitches."

Tumango si Trina at umalis na. Mr. President fixes his tie and glances at us. "Now, what do you need from my nephew, Miss Greene?"

"Alam niyo na po ba ang plano ng dalawa?"

He smiles sadly. "I tried to stop them, but we have no choice. A life of three for a life of millions. It's a hard decision but it should be made. Brother made a mistake."

Kumunot ang noo ko. Three? If he's counting Hiraeth, there's only supposed to be two. Arthur does not have any existing body in the real world. And why would he count Hiraeth when our plan is to save him?

"Are you here because of that? Rius is currently in their mansion. He comes home every twentieth."

Oh. Ibinaba ko ang tingin. "I see. Aalis na lang po kami. Siya kasi ang sadya namin."

Now, how am I going to fix that chip?

Mr. President stares at us for a few seconds. "Mag-ingat kayo."

Tumango ako at ngumiti. I bid a farewell before turning and walking towards the elevator. Medyo nagulat pa ako nang makita si Astro. Nakalimutan kong sumama nga pala siya. Napakatahimik kasi. Mabuti na lang at hindi ako napatalon nang makita ang walang-emosyon niyang mukha.

I was about to push the elevator door open when Mr. President speaks again, "I think you forgot something, Miss Greene."

Kunot-noo akong lumingon sa kaniya. My eyes widened when I saw an exact replica of my game chip in his hands. He gestures me to come closer and hands it to me. Binigyan niya ako ng isang malumanay na ngiti.

"Thank you!"

I can't believe taking this is so easy! Akala ko naman luluhod pa ako at magmamaka-awa.

"Your friends are looking for you." he turns to his office. "And I hope you're ready..."

"Ready?"

"For losing someone."

Magtatanong pa sana ulit ako nang tuluyan na siyang pumasok sa opisina niya. Lose someone? Is he talking about Hiraeth? Na baka hindi ko magawa ang dapat?

Mr. President's words is still ringing in my ear. We rode the elevator in silence. Gano'n din ang paglakad namin papunta sa kotse nila. The car door slams shut and Astro starts the car pagkatapos kong sabihin kung saan kami nakatira.

Wow. Awkwardd.

"Th-"

"Is something going on? What was that plan you're talking about?" putol niya sa'kin.

The car stops when we reached a traffic street. Outside, the rain starts to pour. Iniwasan ko ang bumabaon na titig ni Astro.

Oo nga pala. He doesn't know anything about this. Although, I'm no sure if I should disclose it or not...

"A life of three for a life of millions? Does that have something to do with the glitches?" tuluyan na siyang humarap sa'kin. "What are you planning and what does losing someone mean?"

Nagtitigan kami ng ilang minuto. The light changes into green. The rain starts to pour harder, blurring the windows. The car behind us beeps and beeps and beeps⁠—

Ini-start ni Astro ang kotse. I sighed.

"Do you remember Hiraeth?" he doesn't answer. "Siya iyong player na sumama sa'tin sa Lunaria quest. He's... Well..."

"He's what?"

Tumingin ako sa kaniya at nagsalita sa isang medyo malakas na boses. "I need to save him. No, I want to save him."

"Save him from-" a sharp turn. "-what?"

"From-"

Eh?

Bigla akong napatingin sa labas. All I can see are shops, stores and people trying to find a shelter from the rain. Parang may mali. There's an unsettling feeling in my veins and all I can think about is my twin. Kumunot ang noo ko.

"Is something wrong?" narinig kong tanong ni Astro.

"... River." sambit ko.

Astro frowns.

Just then, my phone vibrates. Mabilis ko itong kinuha mula sa bag. River's name lights up in the lockscreen. He sent me a message. 

"Can you drive faster?"

Naningkit ang mata niya pero binilisan niya ang pagmaneho. "Did something happen to your brother?"

"No." an unsettled sigh escapes my mouth. "He wants to talk about something."

"What about my question?"

Nginitian ko siya. "Can I just tell you ingame?"

He swerves to a right. "I will not be able to see you in game because you're always busy."

So anong gusto mong gawin ko?

"I'll message you."

Huminto ang kotse niya sa harap ng apartment building. Mabilis kong kinuha ang pinamiling gamit at agad na lumabas. I almost cursed when I saw Astro following me. Hanggang sa makaabot kami sa harap ng pintuan ay nakasunod siya. Nasabi ko na bang sobrang persistent niya?

The door opens before I could knock. I'm immediately dragged to River's side as he glares at Astro.

"Anong ginagawa mo dito? Were you with my sister? Anong ginawa mo sa kaniya?" before the guy could answer, River shouts again. "Umalis ka na!"

Sinamaan ko ng tingin si Irusu nang tumawa siya ng mahina. He immediately puts on a stoic face. May gana pa siyang pagtaasan ako ng kilay. Wala lamang pakialam si Astro at humalukipkip pa.

"I bumped into her in a shop. Drove her to the company and heard some... questionable things. I'm here because she said she'll answer my questions." paliwanag ni Astro.

Nang tingnan ako ni River ay bigla akong nagsalita, "Sabi ko sa game na!"

"Oh, sa game na daw."

Astro tilts his head. "Eh? But I'm here already. Hindi ba't mas convenient na ngayon na lang?"

A tense silence. Astro and River fell in a cold glare war. Nagpalipat-lipat ang tingin ko sa dalawa. I'm quite worried because it feels like a fight will break out in a few second. Ngunit nang tapikin ni Irusu ang balikat ni River ay nawasak ang sumpa.

"We all know Astro is stubborn. Why don't you just let him in?" sinipat ako ni Irusu. "He may even be able to help Reverie."

I almost scoffed. Help me when my own brother even destroyed my game to stop me from helping someone. Nagtitigan sila ni River. They're doing that telepathy thing between them again. Kung saan nagco-communicate sila gamit ang mata. Hindi nagtagal ay bumuntong-hinga si River.

"Fine. He's going to be part of that million, anyway." bigong sabi niya.

Kumunot ang noo ko. Million?

Astro and I takes off our shoes as we head inside. Nakatayo si River sa may kitchen door habang nakaupo naman sa salas si Irusu. The latter gestures for Astro to come sit by him, pero nanatili ito sa tabi ko.

"Mag-uusap muna sila," paliwanag ni Irusu. "I'll answer your questions for now."

Nagaalinlangang lumapit si Astro. "Alam mo?"

Irusu smugly smiles. "I'm a scout. It's my job."

"Reverie."

Napabaling ako kay River nang tawagin niya ako. Nauna siyang maglakad sa loob ng kusina at sumunod ako. He orders me to close the door and I followed. Pinagmasdan ko muli ang paborito kong ulam na nakahanda. Umupo ako habang kinakalikot niya ang kung ano sa sink.

I don't really know what to say or do. Mula kahapon ay nag-aaway pa rin kami. Hindi ko mapigilan ang magalit at mainis sa kaniya, dahil sinira niya ang game ko. However, I also can't help but feel worried. There's something amiss with his actions. Something strange.

Kaya instead of flaming in anger, I'm drowning in confusion.

So I asked, even though my tone is still a bit hard. Inis pa rin ako, siyempre.

"What do you want to talk about?"

For a few seconds, the only noise that surrounded the kitchen were dishes clanking.

"What do you know about our father?"

Phew. Akala ko hindi na siya magsasalita. Pero-

"Si Papa?"

River nods.

"Anong alam ko kay Papa? Well, isn't he abroad right now? Working for our living. 'Yan ang sabi niyo ni Mama na paalam niya."

"Is that all?"

"Yes. He can only send us letters because the organization he's working is pretty traditional. They're not a fan of technologies, as he said in that first letter." sumimangot ako. "Wait, why are we talking about Papa in the first place? Bakit hindi natin pag-usapan ang tungkol sa pagsi-"

"It was a lie."

Kahit na sobrang tahimik at hina ng boses niya ay narinig ko iyon. However, my brain can't process it.

"Ha?"

"It was a lie." he repeats, in a louder voice, and turns to face me. "Hindi si Papa nagtatrabaho sa labas. Hindi rin siya ang nagpadala ng letters na 'yon. I made them to show you something. Dahil- Dahil wala na si Papa dito."

Nanlaki ang mata ko. A-Anong wala na si Papa? A lie? Nanghina ang kamay ko. Bakit gagawa si River ng mga letters at ibibigay sa'kin? Anong-

"What are you talking about..." bulong ko sa hangin.

Please don't tell me he's dea-

"Papa's not here in the real world with us anymore, Ev."

Oh. Huh? 

Unti-unting lumapit si River sa tabi ko. My brain can't process and define what's happening but my heart seems to understant what's going on. Dahil sumasakit ito at pinipiga nito ang hininga ko. Dahil nararamdaman ko ang mainit na pagbasa ng mata.

"What do you mean, River?" narinig ko ang pagnginig ng boses. "Where's Papa? Is this some kind of prank because we fought? What- I don't believe-"

"Papa's like Hiraeth and his father." natigilan ako sa sinagot niya. "He's stuck inside the game. Forced, as well."

I looked at him, lost.

"Rius told you the story, right? Alas wanted to build a game of his dreams and our father is the one who can build it. Dahil sa hindi talagang stable ang laro, he wanted to imprison our dad inside. Dahil siya ang nakaka-alam sa game. He knows everything there is. Kaya parang siya ang kumukumpuni at nago-obserba sa game."

"Papa is.."

"If Hiraeth was transported to be saved and take away Arthur, Papa was transported to make everything stable. Taking away Arthur means making Alas the king. Ang paglagay kay Papa sa loob ay para mas humaba ang pagexist nila do'n."

Tuluyan na akong nanghina. Mainit ang luha na dumaloy sa pisngi ko. Is that why River was so angry and why he didn't want me to pursue it? Dahil kung magkasama sina Papa at Alas, then if I kill Alas, it would probably kill Papa too?

"River," I clutched at his shirt. "N-Nasaan si Papa?"

"I don't know, Ev. We only got by because of Mama's inheritance and the company sending money for Papa working. Malaki ang pera ni Papa doon dahil isa siya sa creator ng Arth." hinawi ni River ang buhok ko. "But I heard that Alas killed himself so that he can enter the game. I don't exactly know how they did it. Pero para sumunod din si Papa, they had a servant point a gun at him."

So, Papa can be alive or dead. Bakit? Bakit kailangan na si Papa pa? There are a lot of other game developers out there. So why does it have to be Papa? Why does that Alas have to be so damn fucking greedy and drag his son and Papa in his ambitions?

What was his dream that it made him go through such lengths?

Talaga bang napakaganda ng mundo na naisip niya? Kung gano'n, bakit ang sakit-sakit sa puso...

Hinawakan ni River ang kamay ko. Right now, it feels like a lifeline. "Kaya we have to choose Reverie, will it be our Papa or Hiraeth?"

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-chapter end-

[NEXT CHAPTER PREVIEW]:

"And? Have you decided on a wish?"

Tumango ako. "I want you to find my father."

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