Teacher: Don't assume anything! I didn't go to college, I don't know when the wars ended and all of that stuff!

Teacher: ...

Teacher: Those of you that were listening are now going, "What?! He didn't go to college?!" Nope, I didn't go to college!

Girl: But...but...

Teacher: Yeah, I went on a website and took a few classes! You answer a few questions, they send you a piece of paper, you stick it up on your wall, and pretend you're smart!

Later...
Boy: If I give you $50, do I have to write this paper?

Teacher: No.

Boy: Seriously?!

Teacher: I didn't go to college, I need the money!

Even later...
Boy: *referring to a fake $50 bill he made* Do you think he'll fall for it?

Me: I don't know, I mean, he didn't go to college...