I type really fast and my friend and I were emailing about it.

Friend: How are you typing this fast?

Me: I was bitten by a radioactive cheetah.

Me: In the fingers.

Friend: Where'd you find the radioactive cheetah?

Me: Well, see, I accidentally fell into the radioactive cheetah enclosure at the zoo, and after one of them bit my hand I was just able to escape by running away on my super speed fingertips.

Friend: Did they remove the radioactive cheetah exhibit? I went over to the zoo this summer and tag only had radioactive warthogs.

Me: Well, yeah, it's my fault, really. They figured they were too dangerous and sent them over to the Cincinnati Zoo.

Friend: Ah, I see.