Boy 1: Wait, is that a guy thing or a girl thing?

Boy 2: To have a dildo? I'm pretty sure that's just a girl thing.
**
Friend: Should I write "Miss?"

Me: Or you could use "Ms." because -

Friend: Yeah, but I wanna rub it in.
**
*distinct carbonated hissing sound*

Boy 3: *holding up liquid-stained hands* It is carbonated.