My mom and I have many discussions about my murder-filled book "So Actually, I'm not Okay" that usually end in me laughing so hard I feel nauseous and her looking disappointed and worried. Here are some highlights from the latest one.

Mom: Okay, but why? Why would you write that?

Me: I don't know. I honestly don't remember where I got the idea.

Mom: I would feel better if you did remember where you got the idea, instead of it being like, "I got it out of my own brain! My own soul!"
*
Me: One of your kids was bound to turn out wonky. It's not your fault.

Mom: Yeah, but both of them?!
*
Me: I'm sorry I'm a disappointment.

Mom: You're not a disappointment.

Me: Oh, good, because that's my most successful novel on Wattpad.

Mom: That's...disappointing.