*All family but little brother sitting around dinner table, eating*

Dad: *suddenly* AHHHHH! 

Me: What?! *looks over, sees Dad furiously scrubbing eye*

Dad: IT BUUUUUUUURNES!

Mom: Aw, did you splash sparkling water in your eye?

Me: *cracks up*

Dad: IT BURNS LIKE THE DEVIL'S FIRE!!!!

Me: *goes into hysterics*

Mom: ...do you want some saline? To rinse it out...?

Me: *gasping for air*

Dad: I think I'm blinded in one eye.