We had been walking for hours without a real meal. Let's just say that my brother was losing it...

Family: *goes into a restaurant to discover it full*

Brother: Oh good god.
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Me: Sounds like we have a plan! Just walk around until we find food!

Brother: Somebody shoot me.
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Brother: Pain is all in the mind. So shoot me in the head.
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Brother:  *talking about bubbles* Look. They're popping. Just like my soul twenty minutes ago.
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Brother: *talking about the River Thames* I would just stick my face in the water and watch the trash go by and I would be with my brethren.