Dad: I always thought fried chicken was a poor white person food. Maybe because that's what we used to be when I ate it.
**
Dad: *eating a pickle* Is that a pickle in your jar...

Me: Don't finish that sentence.

*ensuing 10-second glaring war*

Dad: Or...

Me: DON'T.

ash_117 : PENIS!
**
Woman: I'll be your emotional chiropractor!