We were talking about how my father used to shove other, younger children out of the lunch line in elementary school so he could get to the food first.

Brother: *not hearing correctly* You stole their lunch money?

Dad: No! I just shoved them out of line. I didn't want their lunches, I just wanted mine faster.

Brother: Size doesn't matter, Dad! You shouldn't push people!

Dad: Unless they're in the way of my lunch. I knocked their punk asses to the curb.