My father recently learned the meaning of the word "dank" in the context of memes. Enjoy my stories while you can because I will be dismembering myself after this chapter goes up.

Anyway, here are some excerpts.

Brother: *stumbles into my room* DAD JUST WATCHED A JOHN CENA VIDEO

Me: NOOOO
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Me: WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE THIS, WE'RE NOT BAD CHILDREN
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Dad: *texts meme of dude checking out girl while walking with girlfriend*

Me: *screams as loudly as humanely possible and throws phone across room*
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Brother: *racking Nerf gun and pointing it at Dad* THIS IS FOR OUR FAMILY
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Brother: *pretends to shoot self in head with Nerf gun and crumples to the floor*
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Me: He...he sent us a link...

Brother: NO DON'T

Me: *sees deep-fried meme and screams so loudly I shatter my own eardrums*
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Brother: *quietly* We have a code meme.
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Me: Is this what having a panic attack feels like?
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Me: *tossing brother Nerf gun* Here's your gun. If he does it again, I'm counting on you to come in and shoot me.
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Dad: *texts us "Cash me outside" meme*

Me: *moans and tosses laundry basket*