Me: You hold knives so menacingly, gripping them tightly at the hilt and holding them at your side...

Dad: I need to be ready to FIGHT

Me: That's a butter knife, Dad.
*
Good LORD, I've finished another one...Weird Things I Heard in Life 3 should be going up generally soon, so go looking for that!! There are also (as of now) two Weird Things I Heard in School books! Thanks for all of your votes and support - it's mindblowing :)