Kazemaru: *crying*

Ichihoshi: Kazemaru-san,  are you ok?why are you crying?

Kazemaru: oh. *sniff* hey Ichihoshi. Just a little homesick y'know?

Ichihoshi: eh?

Kazemaru: my family sent me a family photo. *sighs* I miss them so much. *shows a picture on his phone*

Photo: *a picture of young Kaze with two cheetahs*

Ichihoshi: *gAsP gaSP* OMG KAZEMARU-SAN'S PARENTS ARE CHEETAHS. Does that make him a human cheetah? i NEED to know how that f*cking works but I'll ask if he's feeling better about it. HOW is he not a real living cheetah ?! I NEED TO INVESTIGATE.

Kazemaru: *concerned face* why are you acting so weird? It's just a pic of me in a field trip ! Y'know... Come to think of it... Ichihoshi never talks about his mom... EH?! That's it! He grew up with his dad so he doesn't know what a mom is! DON'T WORRY HIKARU BABY I'M HERE, GIVE M̶O̶M̶M̶Y̶  DADDY KAZE A HUG!

Later...

Kidou: hOw tF dId hE noT diE?!