Chapter 9 – Josh's POV
When the Whip Comes Down

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I'm bored so I decide to go see Todd. He's not answering my calls, but that doesn't matter. I'm one persistent muthafucker.

            I'm trying to convince myself that I'm not thinking about Flea Market girl and that I haven't been chasing distractions for the last few days.

            Miss Puss looks at me like she sees through my bullshit when I grab my keys and head out.

            When I knock at Todd's door, Maddox, his step-brother-slash-roommate, opens it.

"Hey, is Todd here?" I ask, peeking behind him.

"Nah, he should be back soon though," he tells me, before taking a bite from his apple. He moves out of the way from the door to let me in. "You should have called first."

I walk in, and close the door behind me. "I did call him, but he keeps hanging up on me."

Maddox turns around and narrows his eyes at me. "Did you mention dolphins?"

I grin. "Like, one time."

He's is still looking at me weird. "You okay?"

"Not sure."

"What?"

"You look like Miss Puss didn't let you pet her for a week."

Huh. Not completely off. "I guess that's close to it."

Now Maddox grins at me. "Wanna talk about it?"

I know that look. I probably came here for that look. He doesn't mean talking. It's never talking with him.

I take the three steps that separate us and crush my lips against his.

Maddox drops his apple but he is not surprised. We've done this before. This isn't the first time I'm kissing him.

His arms go around me, keeping me close.

I don't know what makes me want to kiss a person more than another. I know gender is not one of the deciding factors. It's more like do they have a nice voice, do they seem interesting enough to hold a conversation when we stop making-out, do they have soft skin, does my heart beat a little faster when I kiss them, do they have blonde hair and naughty eyes... Damn it.

I keep kissing Maddox, leading him to the couch before pushing him down, never taking my lips off of his.

Kissing a guy should be different enough to keep my head in the right place. Maddox is not curves and softness. Maddox is sharp lines and hard flesh.

My hand goes under his shirt and his goes to the back of mine.

The sound of the front door shutting very loudly makes me jump suddenly.

"Would you get off of Maddox, you little bi slut," Todd says, glaring at us.

"Pan slut, you ignorant fool," I reply, but comply with the demand, getting up and off his step-brother.

"Whatever, just stop making out on my goddamn couch. Maddox, you know this shit, he's never going to take you out for dinner."

Maddox licks his lip and grins a little. "Dinner wasn't exactly what we had in mind."

Todd groans, setting his grocery bag on the table. "Jesus Christ, will you both keep it in your pants. Josh," he points at me, "leave Maddox alone okay, you know he falls in love with every dick he sees, so keep yours in your pants."

            "I don't," Maddox interjects.

            "You really, really do." Todd tells his step-brother and then glares at me again. "What do you want, shithead?"

            I smile. "To be graced with your glorious presence."

            "Go annoy Blake, I'm not in the mood," he says, and starts putting away his grocery.

            "Blake's busy."

            "Go annoy your sister."

            "She said to leave her alone or she's going to shave Miss Puss."

            Todd sighs, looking at me like I'm a big hot mess. "Go make out with Claire."

            "Claire is in the asking-God-for-forgiveness-for-her-sins part of our relationship, so she doesn't want to see me."

            Todd raises an eyebrow. "Any other friends?"

            "I've alienated everyone."

            Todd looks around me to his brother still in the couch. "Maddox, go take a cold shower and forget about the deviant."

            "How dare you call me a deviant!" I gasp, in faux horror.

            "Because any time you need a distraction you come over here and you make out with Maddox just because, and I quote "he's got smooth skin"."

            "I don't."

            "You do."

            A normal person would say something like, that whole dolphin thing is a joke, and maybe try to sound like a functional, non-deviant person, but yeah, that ain't me. "Well, I mean, he does have exceptionally soft skin."

            Todd groans. "Maddox, stop fucking grinning. Josh, get out."

            I give Todd a sheepish grin while Maddox goes to his room. "Come on, I'll behave. Just humor me for a little while."

            "I always humor you," he answers automatically.

            "I'm sorry."

            "Uh huh," he says, not looking convinced at all.

            "I mean it."

            Todd lets out the mother of all sighs. "Did you see the latest edits I made on the app."

            "Yes, but I think you should have made the font bigger."

            "If I make it bigger, it's going to be like ten lines and that's too much."

            And just like that we get into business mode. I'm grateful for the distraction and that he's not more pissed at me. I mean, Todd's general mood is pissed when he's my presence so I shouldn't be surprised that he still hangs out with me.

            Maybe I should stop doing stuff that piss him off, and by doing stuff I mean doing his step-brother.

            While Todd is fixing some things on his computer and I'm sitting beside him I say, "sorry about kissing Maddox. I'm not doing it because it doesn't mean anything to me. It's not... I don't know, empty?"

            I'm not sure how to explain this. Yes, I like to kiss people, but it's not... it's not something self destructive like what Blake used to do for instance, when he was seeing random girls. And yes, for me it's a kind of distraction, but it's not a bad habit either. It's just... something nice. It's kissing, and it makes me feel good and I never really got why people always took everything slightly sexual so seriously. Why do people freak out about who sleep with whom? Why do people have to make such a huge deal out of it, like sleeping with the "wrong" person is a crime or that sleeping with someone you're not in a relationship is dirty. Like kissing a lot of random people is sinful. It's just... something that feels nice. Why should we make other people feel bad for doing something that feels good? When it's between consenting people of legal age, of course.

"I know it doesn't come from a bad place," Todd says, "I know you just like making out, but I think you should maybe start making out with people that you actually want to have a relationship with. Someone that's on the same level as you. Don't get me wrong, if you want to date Maddox, seriously date him, I really don't mind, but I don't think he's the right person for you."

He doesn't get it, not entirely. Why should I only kiss someone I want to be in a relationship with when there are so many people to kiss? And when the one I want to kiss again is already taken.

"You're seriously weird Josh."

            "I know," I tell him.

            "You need someone weirder."

            I let out a laughing breath. "Shouldn't I want the opposite? Someone that's super level headed and isn't going to take my bullshit. You know, someone like you." I wiggle my eyebrows at him.

            "Christ," Todd whines and then slaps the back of my head. "No. Bad Josh."

            "Hey!"

            "No one level headed could deal with your bullshit forever. You need someone weird."

            I laugh. "I'll keep that in mind."

            "And in the meantime, for the love of God, stop making out with my brother," he pleads.

            "I'll try..." I sigh, a little dramatically, and then add, because I'm a deviant, "but it's so hard when his dark skin is smooth like a dolphin's..."

            Todd gets up and grabs me by the back of my shirt, getting me up too. "OUT! NOW!"

            I raise my hand sin surrender. "I'll stop. I swear. I'll stop"

            Todd ignores me, dragging me to the door. "OUT!"

            I laugh at his antics. "Fine. You're no fun."

            "I'm not going to reward you for your idiocy, you need to learn," he says before opening the door and pushing me out.

            I purse my lips at him, making kissy sounds. "Love you too Todd."

            "Piss off, weirdo," he answers, and I'm pretty sure I see him struggling not to laugh and shuts the door in my face.

            I stand in front of it, shaking my head and laughing, and finally a little distracted.

_________

A/N: Hey guys! I uploaded the next chapter faster than the last time, didn't I? I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I just felt like the subject of Josh's sexual identity hadn't been completely explored yet, just kind of hinted at, so that's kind of where I want to take this chapter. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I'll try to upload fast again.

Thanks for your support and patience.

Also, if you guys didn't know, I have a website now where I'll put books and TV shows recommendation and keep you guys in the loop about what's going on. It's at kariannegiard.com if you want to check it out. It would mean the world to me. <3